


Bound by Corruption

by BelovedStranger



Category: InuYasha - A Feudal Fairy Tale
Genre: Dark, Explicit Sexual Content, F/M, Kink, Violence, blood/gore, cursing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-17
Updated: 2016-01-10
Packaged: 2018-05-02 02:48:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 121,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5231009
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BelovedStranger/pseuds/BelovedStranger
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Inside every individual, darkness dwelled large or small. A young woman, cast under her elder sister’s shadow, was bent on proving her worth. A terrible threat hung over her village, giving Kagome the opportunity she had been waiting for. On a mission to save them all from the hearts of evil men, she journeyed to the Inu no Kami’s temple to beseech divine intervention. Instead, danger befell the headstrong woman. Rather than obtaining help from a merciful god, another stepped in to slaughter her enemies, but for a price. An Inugami did nothing for free.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Save Me

**Glossary:**

**Obaasan--Grandmother**

**Miko--Priestess**

**Reiki--Spiritual**

**Youkai--Demon**

**Inu no Kami--Dog God**

**Kami--God**

**Tasukete--Save me**

 

“I can do it, Kaede-obaasan! Please, I know I can,” beseeched Kagome.

Kagome was kneeling beside her grandmother inside the small hut she shared with the older woman and her absent elder sister, Kikyo. Kaede remained silent after Kagome’s insistent claim as she stoked the small fire with old, gnarled hands, intending to boil hot water over the flames to be used to make tea, her only good eye averted from Kagome’s intense gaze. The older woman had lost her left eye years ago when demons—bent on devouring them all—had attacked her village but failed.

“Kaede—” began Kagome again, impatient for her grandmother to speak, to believe in her abilities just this once, but she was interrupted.

“Ye are still inexperienced, child, and it is too dangerous to leave so far from the village during these troubling times. We shall wait for your sister to return to make the journey instead.”

Kagome felt anger and resentment build in her breast as the same argument fell from her obaasan’s mouth. _Kikyo, Kikyo, Kikyo. That’s all anyone ever talked about!_ she fumed silently.

No one could deny Kagome’s love for her elder sister as it was obvious to all, but the younger girl hid a hidden resentment--not hate, but a souring emotion regardless. At the age of eighteen, Kikyo was a powerful and skilled miko few could match, not even their wise grandmother could best her in spiritual strength. Even before she was fifteen, Kagome’s current age, Kikyo had been far advanced in every way a miko could be—unlike Kagome herself. Though powerful spiritually, Kagome had a difficult time controlling her raging reiki.

Kagome did not resent her sister’s skill and control; however, she was not happy to stand in Kikyo’s shadow. Everything seemed to come easily for her older sister, while she had to struggle constantly. Even her archery skills were not as advanced as Kikyo’s. Instead of seeing her accomplishments for what they were, the people of the village were too busy praising Kikyo, comparing the siblings, and finding Kagome lacking.

The villagers were never purposefully unkind, Kagome knew, but it didn’t change the fact that no one seemed to realize that she was growing into a woman with power of her own. Not even Kaede.

Perhaps she should feel hatred towards Kikyo...but how could she when her elder sister did everything she could to include Kagome? To help with her lessons, and give encouragement? Kikyo had told her on more than one occasion that even though her skills were not as advanced as her own, that did not mean she was inadequate or less in any way. What came easier for some, may be harder for another. Kikyo was sure that effort and dedication would most certainly outweigh natural ability—meaning her elder sister believed Kagome to be the stronger of the two. Such a concept seemed impossible to Kagome, but she never called Kikyo a liar.

But sometimes her sister’s encouraging words weren’t enough—like now.

Kagome’s village was in danger. Men and women of all ages had been passing through their village or had collapsed in need of medical attention as they brought terrifying news of brutality and destruction. Bandits had been raiding the country side, pillaging, raping, murdering, and burning everything to the ground. Kagome had never seen such carnage, her village a far remote place in the west. An occasional youkai problem arose, or a vengeful spirit attacked, but never anything a miko coudn’t handle. But bandits weren’t youkai. Miko could not purify humans, even ones evil at heart.

For weeks, the village had assured themselves that the bandits would want nothing to do with such a remote residence, but the number of survivors from other villages had multiplied this past week, bringing dire news of the bandits’ approach.

It was too late to run, not if they wanted to take their possessions with them. And where would they go? How far was distant enough to be safe from these marauders? From what the panicked passersby claimed, they were everywhere.

The villagers clamored for the village miko to go to the Inu no Kami’s temple, a day’s journey by foot, and pray for the villagers’ safety. Kaede was too old to make the journey, and Kikyo was in the next village over, helping the village headman’s wife give birth as the woman had lost her previous child the year before in labor. There was no one to go except for Kagome, but Kaede was hesitant to put her in danger of traveling alone at this time.

But Kagome was adamant she go, to prove to her village, to herself, that she was just as capable as Kikyo, too blind in her youth and impatience to truly acknowledge the danger.

“Kikyo won’t be back for days,” Kagome tried to explain calmly but failing in the end. “There’s no one else but me. I’m not a child anymore, Kaede-obaasan! I can do this. All I have to do is go to the temple, offer up an offering to the Inu no Kami, and pray for the village’s safety. The shrine is but a day’s journey on foot. I’ll be careful. I know how to take care of myself.”

Kagome clenched her hands on top of her knees, bunching the fabric of her red hakama of the traditional garb of her trade in her agitation. Her grandmother, too, wore the clothes of a miko as she knelt beside her, taking the kettle off the fire as she prepared the tea.

After another lengthy silence where Kagome was sure she would go mad from waiting for a response, Kaede sighed tiredly and looked at her with a worried but accepting expression in her old wrinkled face.

“Ye are right, Kagome. I just worry for ye, child.”

Smiling in both relief over the older woman’s capitulation and gratitude for her obvious concern, Kagome placed a hand on her obaasan’s sagging shoulder. “I know you do, Kaede-obaasan, and I thank you, but I’ll be fine.”

Her grandmother didn’t seem to react to her confidence, but Kagome was too elated to let the knowledge dampen her mood.

Nodding her grey head, Kaede set the kettle aside and rose slowly to her feet, her knees paining her in her old age. Confused, Kagome watched her grandmother move around the interior of the hut, grabbing a large cloth used to transport items on a person’s back like a pack along with what looked like a sake bottle and small clay cup. Wrapping the bottle and cup in a small white strip of cloth, Kaede then put the bundle in the larger cloth before walking back over to Kagome, who stood and took the proffered sack. Understanding dawned as Kagome looked at her bundle.

“This is the highest quality sake our village has to offer. Give this to the Inu no Kami when you arrive at the temple, and pray for our deliverance,” Kaede said solemnly.

Kagome knew her obaasan did not mean she would be meeting the Inu no Kami personally when bringing her gift, but hoped the god would hear and answer her prayers from the spirit world.

It was an important task. She would not fail her village, Kagome vowed, bowing to her grandmother and rushing to her rooms to add to her pack of necessary supplies for her journey.

In less than half an hour, Kagome was leaving the village, a smile on her face as the villagers bowed to her respectfully as she passed. Word traveled fast, and all knew about her important travels, thankful for her aid on their behalf.

No one interrupted her or commented that Kikyo may be better served to accomplish the task, and if any did, Kagome did not hear.

It was a long walk. Kagome knew she would not reach the temple before night fall. Looking up at the midmorning sky, Kagome judged her way by the sun’s position in the sky, heading farther west where the shrine lay.

All day her spirits were high as she thought how she would prove to everyone her capability, that though not as skilled, she was just as useful as her elder sister. It wasn’t until the afternoon stretched into evening, then darkness fell over the land that unease began to filter through her mind, her step slower, faltering.

The creeping shadows of the surrounding forest, the night sounds made by insects and animals caused the hair on Kagome’s arms to stand up as alarm and dawning fear settled into her conscious. She was alone and it was getting eerily darker by the second.

Deciding now was as good a time as any to make camp, Kagome set her pack aside. She had already collected several fallen branches to make a fire to dispel some of the thickening shadows when she realized it was too dangerous to start one. Anyone would see her, know her location.

She was alone...or so she hoped.

There were predators. Animals, youkai...bandits.

Swallowing her rising fear lest she choke on it, Kagome shuffled over to a tree, deciding she would use the shadows to her advantage as she sought rest, knowing she had to start early tomorrow to finish her journey. She knew she would be expected to kneel at the shrine’s altar for many hours before making the return trip home.

As the forest descended into complete darkness, the sounds of the night kept her eyes darting from one spot to the next as she tried to control her fear. It was then that she realized the folly of her decision, her rash behavior.

One of Kaede’s proverbs filtered through her mind, ‘If eating poison, don’t forget to lick the plate.’ In essence it meant, if you’re going to start something, you might as well finish it—whether or not it was a good or bad idea from the beginning.

Resolved, pride battling with fear, Kagome passed a fitful night in the forest, thinking she would never fall asleep; though, she did eventually—hours later.

The next morning, Kagome once again moved toward her destination, though less chipper than she had been the previous day. After her less than restful night, she was tired and aching from sleeping on the unforgiving, cold ground. She had forgotten how miserable traveling could be, but she was determined to complete her mission.

A few hours later, she exited the forest, coming to a grassy plain with a large hill a little over a mile away where at the apex was a shrine—her goal. Even from this distance, Kagome could see the beauty of the shrine, remembered how its elegant craftsmanship had held her in awe whenever she had traveled here with Kikyo. It had been more than three years since last she had seen the impressive wooden structure, and she was eager to lay her eyes on it once more.

She unconsciously hurried her step, finally bringing herself at the bottom of the steep hill. Her progress slowed by her upward stride, her breath quickly became more shallow, her legs feeling the strain, but she kept going.

Halfway up, Kagome became aware of a commotion below and far in the distance. Turning her head to look over her shoulder, her step faltered. Behind her, men—dozens of them—where pointing and running in her direction. They were still a distance off, but she saw how quickly they ate up the ground in pursuit of her. In growing horror, she noticed a few were even on horseback.

A chill of premonition slithered down her spine. Fear had her turning around and running upward. The men on horseback would catch her before she reached the woods, so she had little choice but to run for the shrine, knowing she would be trapped if she were to make it inside, but where else was she to go?

Already she heard the pounding of hooves thundering over the ground, masculine voices becoming louder with every tortured breath she took. Both the physical excursion and fear had her panting, sobbing for air, her legs and side cramping.

Before they could catch her, she was at the shrine doors, her lungs screaming. The men’s words became horribly discernable as they gained on her, promising to do unimaginable things to her. Yanking on the doors with a choked cry, she threw herself inside, slammed the doors closed and gazed around her with frantic eyes. Finding a long candle stick, she grabbed it, ignoring the unlit candle that fell from its perch to the tiled floor beneath her feet, and thrust the metal stick through the bars of the door to lock herself inside. 

Panting for breath, her hand clenched into a tight fist at her breast where her heart pounded a frantic beat. She waited, fear clouding her wet eyes.

In seconds, pounding sounded against the doors. They shuddered against a heavy weight, and Kagome screamed and fell backwards, stumbling as she turned and ran for the temple steps, ignoring the majestic temple’s interior. Falling to the floor before the three steps that led to the altar, Kagome begged for help.

“Please, Inu no Kami! Help me!”

Frantic, she shook off her pack. Her hands trembled with fright as the pounding at the door intensified. Kagome almost dropped the clay cup when her pursuers demanded she open the door or her punishment for making them wait would only be worse.

Placing the cup on the altar above her kneeling form, Kagome tried to control her trembling hands as she clutched the jug of sake, intending to pour her offering into the cup as an added incentive for the Inu no Kami’s aid. The lewd comments and cat calling made the effort impossible.

Tears spilled over as she prayed for help, begging to be spared between wretched sobs.

“Please, oh kami...oh kami...don’t let them h-hurt m-me! Save me!”

She wasn’t even praying for the Inu no Kami’s aid any longer, but for any assistance. She was going to die, but first she was going to suffer. Why hadn’t she listened to Kaede? Why did she have to care so much what her village thought of her? She wouldn’t complain or try to move out from beneath her sister’s shadow if only someone, anyone saved her!

“Oh kami, ohkamiohkamiohkami...” her words threaded into one sound as the sake splashed into then out and around the cup, spilling the precious liquid on the tiled floor.

A crash against the doors caused her to whimper and close her eyes, her teeth biting painfully into her bottom lip until she tasted iron—her blood.

They were breaking in!

_Tasukete!_

Then she felt warm, long fingers wrap around her own where she held the sake bottle. She gasped, intending to scream but her lungs seized on a spasm of fear. Her eyes opened impossibly wide, tears cascading in fierce waves down her face as she gazed at the one before her.

She feared the bandits had somehow gotten inside, that she was about to be raped and tortured.

Her liquid, brown orbs collided with amber.


	2. The Contract

**Glossary:**

**Ningen—Human**

**Hakama—loose trousers**

**Haori—loose garment resembling a coat**

**Nagajuban—Under Haori**

**Onna—Woman**

**Aijin—Lover**

 

Even blinded by tears, Kagome could not mistake the presence before her for a mortal man. His flaming, amber gaze with its cat like pupils could never exist in the eyes of a ningen. She tried to blink away the moisture in her eyes so she could take in every detail of this being masquerading as a man. Impossibly long, straight, silver hair cascaded down and around his angular face, accentuating the intriguing markings that graced his angelic but unmistakably masculine visage.

Two mauve stripes slashed across high cheek bones, a cerulean blue crescent moon centered squarely on his proud forehead, and magenta colored the backs of his eyelids. The vibrant colors of his markings only made his alabaster skin more prominent—beautiful.

She then noted the stark coloring of his clothes. His hakama were black as he knelt on the altar above the steps before her, bending over her in an almost protective gesture. He wore a black nagajuban underneath a snowy white haori. His obi, a gold to match his eyes, was the only splash of color to offset his almost somber garments. Then she noticed the two swords strapped to his left hip—a warrior.

Her attention moved to the body hidden beneath his clothing. Impossibly wide shoulders, a broad chest obviously heavily muscled even hidden by his apparel, leading down to a trim waist, and what was probably very long, lean legs.   

Her appraisal lasted no more than a few seconds, her mind soaking in his every detail.

“Inu no Kami,” she breathed in wonder and awe, momentarily forgetting her peril.

He chuckled, the sound low and intimate, meant just for her, but Kagome detected mockery in the soft sound of amusement.

When he spoke, his voice was deep, sensual as it caressed her eardrums. “No, onna, I am not.”

It was then that she noticed the pulsing but contained aura surrounding him. It was dark, sinister. Before she could demand who he was, she was brought back to the danger awaiting her on the other side of the shrine doors when another crash echoed around her, signaling the bandits efforts to reach her.

Fear overcame curiosity.

She whimpered, her shoulders hunched defensively.

“Do you wish to be saved?” that devilishly masculine voice asked her?

“Yes! Yes, please,” she cried, gazing up at him with wide eyes.

“My aid does not come for free,” he warned, taking the vase out of her hands, removing his warmth, and setting her burden aside.

With another thundering crack, the shrine doors splintered open.

“Now we’ve got you, girly,” snickered a male voice from behind her quacking back.

“Let’s get her, boys!” hooted another, while others cat called and hollered excitedly.

Looking over her shoulder, Kagome trembled at the intimidating sight of men pouring inside the shrine. Though their words implied eager anticipation, their steps where slow as they caught sight of the man before her, eyeing him warily, wondering if he posed a threat to them.

Grabbing blindly for him, unable to look away from the approaching men, she agreed desperately.

“Yes!”

Another chuckle was his answer, malicious in nature.

A long fingered hand cupped her right cheek, turning her petrified gaze back to meet his calm scrutiny.

“You must be certain, for there is no going back afterwards.”

His words held warning, but deep anticipation for her continual agreement. The approaching men sealed her fate at their relentless advance, and again she agreed.

He grinned at her almost kindly, fangs peeking out of his sculptured mouth, before his lips collided with hers, forcing her own wide open with a sweep of his wicked tongue. She opened with a gasp, allowing him unwitting access to the recess of her mouth. She tasted iron—his blood. Before she could recoil in alarm, pain lanced her tongue. He had nicked her with his fang and now sucked on her abused appendage.

The dire circumstances they were in were too great for her to tell if she enjoyed the exchange or not, but surprise and shock made her submit to the quick exchange. Then she heard his voice echo in her mind, chanting.

_With blood I bind thee, merging two souls into one. I am yours and you are mine until the contract is fulfilled._

Then his lips were gone, releasing her.

A voice from behind intruded on them. “Looks like we’re interrupting, boys.”

More male laughter.

“Stand aside, pretty boy. This one’s ours. Unless you want to be fucked, too. You’re girly enough,” another taunted, threatened.

Seemingly indifferent to their malice, her savior wiped away her tears.

“Aijin, close your eyes if you do not wish to see their deaths,” her savior warned ominously.

Nodding her head mutely, she did as he suggested when he stood and walked around and away from her kneeling form. She stifled the need to have him stay by her side, afraid to be alone. Doubt made her almost call him back, fearing he had lied and planned on abandoning her to a fate worse than death.

Panicked and terrifying screams rent the air, causing her to jump in surprise, her eyes popping open unconsciously. Keeping her back turned, she heard liquid splatter the floor, a tearing, ripping sound, gurgling, and the ever present screams of pain and terror.

Her eyes followed the shadows that played on the floor and wall before her, seeing nightmarish images for all its obscurity. Forms flew through the air, others torn apart, while an endless spray of dark shadows escaped the figures before they were discarded on the ground.

Something splashed across the steps inches from her left, and Kagome saw the crimson splatter stain the tile with dawning comprehension, dread settling inside her breast like a rock. Clamping her eyes shut once more, a tremor of trepidation slithered down her spine. The sounds of the slaughter taking place behind her frightened her unbearably, so she tried to muffle the noise by covering her ears with her small hands, but her efforts were in vain. The violent death taking place close at hand was heard all too clearly.

Suddenly, all was grimly silent. Before she could build the courage to lower her hands and once again open her eyes, fearful to what she might see, warm, sticky hands clasped her own, lowering them to her lap.

Blinking her eyes open, her savior again knelt before her, bending over her kneeling form. The gesture was no longer comforting as blood splattered across his white haori, staining his alabaster skin. One elegant cheek dripped with blood not his own, for there was no wound to see, his neck similarly marked. Even his silvery hair bore testimony to the nightmare she knew lay behind her. Stricken, brown orbs lowered to their clasped hands. More blood coated his clawed hands and now hers, making his look deadly and sinister in comparison.

Shock held her immobile for long seconds, but then she gasped in horror and jerked away from him. Shooting to her feet, her eyes on his bloody form, she backpedaled, then slipped on something slick on the floor and fell painfully on her rump. Beside her, a torso, its inwards spilling out, lay in a meaty heap of human remains. She felt coagulating blood soak into her kimono where she sat.

Gagging, she turned, moving to her hands and knees in an attempt to get away from the blood and gore, but all around her, her eyes took in the carnage. Body parts and entrails littered the floor in impossible amounts. The smell of iron, urine, and bowels infiltrated her nostrils, choking her on its foul stench—the scent of death.

Looking into the eyes of a bodiless head a mere foot away from her, held her petrified gaze. A scream built inside her throat, bounced around inside her tortured mind, until a keening wail escaped to fill the loud silence.

Blackness overtook her vision as shock had her falling to the crimson floor in a dead faint.

When she awoke, Kagome felt herself being held in a strong embrace. Slowly opening her eyes, her mind blissfully blank, she looked up into the amber gaze of her savior. His face, neck, and hair no longer bore signs of blood, but she noticed that his haori was still bloodstained as were her own.

Gasping like a fish out of water, she pushed against his chest and out of his hold. Crawling backwards, away from him, she gaped at him wordlessly. It was then that she realized that they were no longer inside the temple, but in a wooded area by a thin stream.

He tilted his head, watching her in eerie silence.

“W-who are you? What are you?!” demanded Kagome, her voice shrill.

He was silent a moment longer, his eyes contemplating her.

“An Inugami.”

She froze, even her breath, as she stared at him in dawning understanding.

An Inugami was a rare and powerful, dark youkai summoned by dark magic or by the call of bloodshed and destruction. They were devious creatures who made contracts with ningen for the promise of violence, but for a price. Somehow she had summoned him in her desperation, unwittingly entering into a contract with him, and handing him the destruction one of his kind craved.

Understanding her dire circumstance, she asked, “What is it I owe you?”

“Your innocence.”

Sucking in her breath, she wailed, “You want my...maidenhead? I’m a miko! Carnal relations are forbidden.”

His grin was pure evil, and she cringed away again.

“I do not only want your virgin body which you will, in time, freely, willingly offer me, but also to corrupt your pure light.”

Reflexively, she cried, “No!” Horror of what he demanded of her in return made her ill.

“You and I have a contract, aijin. If you do not wish to honor it, then I can rightfully devour you, body and soul.”

Quivering at his answer, one of her obaasan’s many proverbs filtered through her mind. ‘ _If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him._ ’ Essentially meaning, do not blindly accept anything without knowing what awaited ahead, and she had certainly accepted this creature’s aid blindly and without caution. Now she had to pay the price for her impulsive decision or die what she was certain to be a painfully unpleasant death.


	3. First Attraction

**Glossary:**

**Nushi—Master, God, Lover**

 

Kagome froze when the Inugami moved.

His muscular body moved in smooth, languid motions as he leaned forward, palms to the grassy ground before him, and started a slow advance towards her on hands and knees. His hair fell forward over his broad shoulders in long strands that reached the forest floor and framed his elfin features. His golden stare was more intense in that moment then she had previously witnessed as he began to stalk her.

Kagome had never seen a man move quite the way this demon was now, more beast than man as his shoulders rolled with every forward press of a hand against the ground, his knees in perfect sink with his arms as his thighs thrust forward in a long fluid glide. His swords dragged along the ground—ignored—emphasizing the sensual undulation of his lean hips as he advanced.

At his unwavering approach, she lurched backwards on her own hands and feet, but her clumsy, frantic movements were nothing compared to the muscular syncrasy of his body.

“Inu...gami...?” she stuttered breathlessly.

“Choose, aijin. Will you honor our contract, or...”

Intimidated by the heat that entered his amber gaze more than his words, Kagome again pushed away from him. Her body had begun to act strangely since he first started towards her, a warm, tightening sensation low in her belly; her heart fluttered like a caged bird, and her breathing escalated, but not completely from fear.

Confusion over her own body’s reactions kept her mute.

Another smooth glide towards her, his gaze lowering perceptively to her mouth, caused her lips to tremble in answer. “...I shall devour you.”

She whimpered. His words sent a thrill through her body—excitement. Disconcerted by her reaction, she clenched her eyes closed and shook her head to clear her muddled thoughts.

When she opened them again seconds later, he was much closer, almost right on her...and that’s when she noticed the dried blood again. His white haori had ugly brown stains, ruining the garment. Fear slithered across her mind at the sight, remembering the slaughter, but then she froze in her backwards flight at the knowledge of how the bloodstains had gotten there.

He had answered her desperate pleas.

He had saved her when no one else had.

Not the Inu no Kami she had come to beg for salvation, but this creature she was supposed to despise. If the kamis were merciful, why then had they abandoned her; whereas, this Inugami had not?

Then he was crawling over her in her moment of silent contemplation, his hands on either side of her hips, his head and shoulders bent over her, leaning in close, his hair pooling in her lap.

Meeting his intense stare, she felt her own soften as she began to see him in a more favorable light, her savior, a youkai.

“Thank you,” she breathed with sincerity.

It was his turn to pause. He didn’t even seem to be breathing as the heat gradually left his eyes to be replaced with puzzlement and something else, but he blinked, masking his thoughts before she could fully decipher his expression.

Feeling slightly more confident now that she had gotten the words out, she leaned up, her arms straight as she braced herself up with her hands, willingly bringing them closer. “You saved me. You were only doing what I asked and yet...I...”

Tears glistened in her chocolate pools, obscuring her gaze of his angelic features. She had treated him abhorrently for the death he had dealt her tormentors, for doing as she had begged him, for saving her.

She lowered her eyes to the brown stains again and lifted her hand, placing it palm down on a large, dried splatter of blood over his beating heart. Even through his clothes, she could feel the warmth of his skin.

She heard him exhale harshly and her gaze shot back up to his. Through a sheen of her tears that had yet to fall, she saw his eyelids lower, partially hiding his beautiful inhuman eyes. He was gazing at her mouth again and an answering yearning filled her being when she saw his head lower towards hers.

An image of his mouth on hers filtered through her mind, bringing back the taste of blood--his and her own. Their blood contract. She recalled the whispered words in her mind, the binding ritual.

Her trepidation returned.

She pushed back, away from him just before his mouth touched her own. She didn’t get far. A tree stopped her escape, her back pressed hard against the unforgiving bark as she watched him with wide eyes.

He blinked, seeming to come out of a trance as he looked up at her from beneath his lashes, regarding her silently. But then he smiled, a predator’s baring of teeth, and lunged, hovering over her once more. She thought he was going to kiss her, but his lips remained inches above her own.

Gazes locked, breath shared between them, Kagome licked suddenly dry lips, watching as his eyes tracked the movement before returning.

“What’s your choice, aijin?”

His words seemed to mock her and she glared back defiantly. He was purposefully trying to intimidate her! Her ire only seemed to amuse him, for he chuckled.

Remembering his terms, she offered him a confident, albeit shaky, smile.

Her smile wiped away his amusement, his gaze turning watchful. Her smile grew as did her confidence. Words of wisdom and encouragement Kikyo was always saying to her filtered through her mind, ‘ _Give me somewhere to stand, and I will move the earth._ ’ How many times had her elder sister told her, given the right tools, even the most seemingly impossible task could be accomplished?

“You said you wanted my willing participation to be corrupted, right?”

His gaze intensified as he watched her. “Yes.”

“And what if I never became willing? Would you then use force?” This was where she was on shaky ground. Her quickly formulated plan rode on his insistence that she voluntarily give in to him.

He was silent a moment, contemplating her.

“I desire your willing participation,” he admitted. “I will not force you.”

Before she could breathe a sigh of relief, he grinned wolfishly at her. “You will be begging me to corrupt you in every way imaginable.”

Blushing fiercely, she bit her tongue to stop herself from childishly denying his arrogant claim. This was her out clause, for she would never give in to him, never corrupt her pure light no matter his confidence on the contrary. She hoped his failure to change her mind would somehow nullify their contract.

A subtle shift of his body above her own brought her attention back to the Inugami, which had probably been his intention.

“I know your thoughts, aijin,” he whispered in his deep baritone. “You think to beat me at my own game.”

Masculine lips hovering above her own, he added, “You are wrong.”

Then he kissed her, melding his mouth to her plush lips.

Shock held her still then she pushed against his chest and tried to turn her face away. Denying her escape, he angled his head, following her mouth and kissed her harder, his thumb and forefinger gripping her chin to keep her immobile.

Forcing her mouth open with a press of his fingers, he thrust his tongue inside her wet cavern, dominating her mouth with sure strong licks, mapping out the contours of her cheeks, teeth, the roof of her mouth, everywhere.

He masterfully quelled her objections, showing her untutored body the pleasures of the flesh. Unable to counteract his pleasurable assault, Kagome gave in with a whimper, hesitantly moving her tongue against his.

His deep groan spurred her on, his tongue encouraging hers to dance to his tune, stroking the fire of her desire she had never before known existed. All too soon she was having difficulty breathing, unused to the ardor of a kiss as fiercely passionate as his.

He seemed to understand her difficulty as he broke the kiss, making her gasp for much needed air. His fingers at her chin forced her head back against the bark of the tree behind her, baring her pale throat to his heated kisses. His other hand gripped her hip as his tongue teased her frantically beating pulse, fangs dangerously close to vulnerable flesh.

“Wait...” Kagome said faintly, almost desperately as her hands gripping the fabric at his shoulders. “Y-you said...you wouldn’t...force me.’

He stilled instantly, his wet mouth unmoving on her moist flesh. Leaning back, he met her gaze, scowling down at her.

“Do not mistake this as force.”

“But it is. I don’t want this,” she half lied, trying to stop the trembling of her limbs caused by his attentions.

“You lie, but your body does not.”

In one quick move, he stood, and backed away from her, but continued to watch her.

Shakily she got to her feet, leaning against the tree when her legs threatened to deposit her unceremoniously on the ground and watched him warily. He did not seem pleased with her.

Trying to change the subject from her traitorous body’s reactions, she asked, “Why do you keep calling me aijin? My name is Kagome.”

“Does it bother you,” he asked instead.

“Yes.”

“Hn.”

After what felt like an uncomfortable silence to Kagome, she asked, “Um...what’s your name? I can’t just keep calling you Inugami or demon.”

He smiled slowly, sensually at her, before answering. “You may refer to me as nushi.”

She blushed and sputtered. “Not on your life!”

He sighed as if aggrieved by her refusal, then becoming serious, he said, “Sesshomaru.”

Kagome waited, wondering if he was kidding, then realized that he was not.

_The Killing Perfection._

Remembering how the bandits met their brutal end, she shuddered and thought the name suited him. She no longer feared him for the violence he had committed to save her life, but the bloody image still made her quake.

“Sesshomaru-sama,” Kagome said respectfully, moving away from the tree to bow deeply at the waist.

He may be a demon, but there was no denying his power and regal bearing, nor the fact that he had answered her fevered prayers.

Rising, she looked around them curiously. “Do you know where we are?”

His answer confirmed that they were not far from the shrine and in fact on the right tract towards her small village.

More hesitantly she asked quietly, “And the bodies?”

“Destroyed along with the shrine.”

Blinking uncomprehendingly, Kagome then cried, “What do you mean destroyed?! What happened to the shrine?”

The Inugami, no, Sesshomaru, met her gaze squarely without remorse as he answered, “The smell of blood would have brought any number of predators. I melted everything to the ground.”

“Melted?” she whispered.

Without answering he turned away from her, offering his back. At first she thought she had somehow offended him, but then he lifted his right hand and a green spray-like gas shot out from this claws, melting the trees and foliage it touched.

Gasping, Kagome lurched back into the tree still at her back and cringed, the sound of melting, hissing wood searing her ears, the sight of the liquid mess before Sesshomaru a testimony to his power.

He turned back to her, gazing at her impassively as if she were a stranger.

“Oh,” she murmured weakly, not knowing what else to say.

He didn’t comment. Instead he walked towards her. She froze, wondering what he was about to do, but all he did was walk past her.

“It’s time to depart, _Kagome_.”

Ignoring his mocking tone when he said her name, she turned and ran after him.

“Wait! Where are we going?”

“To my earthly domain.”

Surprised by his answer, she said without thinking, “You make it sound like you don’t always live in this...ugh...world.”

She watched his profile, waiting for his answer.

He didn’t turn to meet her gaze but looked at her from the corner of his eye, before looking forward again. “I also have a domain in the spirit realm.”

She wasn’t sure how she was to react to this knowledge, but one thing was clear to her.

“Wait! Stop,” she said frantically, then took a hold of his arm when he continued walking.

He stopped, gazing down at her hands clasped around his arm, then met her gaze.

“If you wanted me, aijin, all you had to do was ask.”

Choking on her next breath, she blushed and released him quickly.

“My name is Kagome,” she insisted, “and I don’t! I can’t go with you and leave my village, my home and family. I have responsibilities!”

“We have a contract,” he reminded her, taking a threatening step towards her.

Stepping back quickly, she raised her hands defensively. “I never agreed to go with you to your domain! I have prior duties that take precedence over your contract.”

“Our,” he reminded her. It was not just his contract both both of theirs.

“Fine, _our_ contract. I still can’t just leave my life.” She crossed her arms over her chest, refusing to budge on this.

He considered her a moment, then nodded. “Then we shall return to your village.” Then he gazed pointedly at her to lead the way.

“But we can’t,” she said desperately.

He lifted an eyebrow at her continual refusal.

“You’re youkai! My obaasan and elder sister will try and purify you, and besides it’ll raise too many questions why we are together.” Kagome was horrified at the thought of her family knowing that she had made a deal with the devil.

His words confirmed her fears. “You want to keep my exitance a secret, aijin?”

Blushing, she nevertheless nodded, ignoring his refusal to use her name.

“Then it can’t be helped.”

Before she could reply to that cryptic response, Sesshomaru transformed. Mouth gaping, her eyes going huge, she watched as his nose and mouth elongated demonically, transforming his beautiful features into something ugly and grotesque. His wide shoulders hunched over, bending him in half as his hair whipped around him from an invisible wind, obscuring most of his shifting features.

She watched in mute astonishment as sliver hair grew at an accelerated rate along his arms as they bent out of shape, accompanied by popping sounds and grinding, shifting of bone as the once proud man went to his hands and knees. His long hair then molded to his body to form more fur, revealing his features to be that of a dog.

Kagome couldn’t believe for a second what she was seeing. Instead of the imposing figure of the Inugami standing before her, a magnificent, although huge, dog stood proudly in the folds of the bloodstained black and white kimono.

The dog’s fur was silver like Sesshomaru’s hair, had the same markings gracing his forehead and cheek bones, even his eyes were that warm amber hue that so beguiled her. The dog took a step towards her, but had to stop as he got tangled in the layers of clothing.

_Do you mind extracting me from my clothes, aijin?_ a voice said in her mind.

Squeaking in surprise, she stumbled back, almost falling as she continued to stare stupidly at the dog.

_Well?_ The dog looked at her with a haughty expression no one could mistake for that of an animal.

Her eyelids lowered as she glowered at him.

“You surprised me,” she defended herself, peeved.

When he continued to stand there staring at her, she grumbled and cautiously walked towards him. He was _huge_. Standing before him, his snout stood as high as her breasts. Admittedly, she was a short woman, only five foot four inches, but this was obviously no ordinary dog.

Reaching for him, she knelt and grabbed the lapels of both of his haori and pushed them further away from his furry chest, which was still wide and well muscled. “Ah...Sesshomaru? What are you doing...exactly?”

She had a sinking feeling, rightfully guessing his intentions.

_Compromising. I shall accompany you to your village in this form for the time being._

When he again tried to step out of his clothes, she moved to his right and grabbed the back of his hakama in one hand and both haori with the other to help him. He stepped free without any more difficulty and turned to regard her. He was taller than her when she knelt before him like this, so she stood, awkwardly holding onto his clothes, unsure what to do with them.

“Um, I’m not sure this will work,” she hesitantly began but was interrupted.

_You do not wish to accompany me to my domain, neither do you wish me to come with you to your village and risk your family discovering our connection. How exactly do you plan on honoring our agreement if I am not allowed to be by your side? Make no mistake, Kagome, we have a contract, and I expect you to keep your end of it. Either I come with you to your village in this guise or without it, or you come with me to my domain. You may not have a choice later._

Kagome stiffened under the threat, but remained silent. He was right. He had every right to demand she honor her word, but he was trying to work with her and all she kept doing was putting him off. Instead she nodded her understanding, her hands clenched tightly in the folds of his discarded garments.

“What do you wish me to do with your things?” she asked meekly.

_Only my swords are of value to me. Bring them. Leave the rest._

His clipped tone made her uneasy. She knew she had pushed him too far, but she wasn’t sure how to fix her error. Silently, she did as instructed, then they were on their way to her village with her in the lead.


	4. Darkness Within

Light filtered from the canopy of trees to land on the forest floor, revealing small animals going about their daily lives, foraging and nesting, and the beauty of nature that was the green foliage and vibrant colors from the many flowers. Birds sang high in the trees, squirrels and other small, ground creatures gibbered to one another in their own language, and the drone of insects filled the air with nature’s music. Truly a magnificent sight, wildlife in all its splendor.

However, it was all but ignored by the lone young woman who hiked amongst the large trees, giving off an agitated aura as she went. By her side walked a massive, white dog whose head stood nearly as tall as her shoulders. A pensive expression graced her youthful visage, while her chocolate brown eyes constantly darted to her canine companion in silent contemplation.

Kagome played with the hem of her wide sleeve, the silence between her and her unusual companion oppressive to her. She knew he could speak mind to mind with her—disconcerting as that may be—but he did not. She wanted to say something, engage Sesshomaru in conversation to ease what she felt was a silent tension between them, but what could she say? What did you talk about with an Inugami bent on corrupting your soul?

Again her eyes flickered over to Sesshomaru’s sleek white fur. Who was he, really? She knew next to nothing about him, and yet he demanded so much from her. There was no way in hell she was going to let him have his way with her, but still...was it so wrong of her to be curious? To want to understand him a little?

 _If you wish to speak, then speak, aijin,_ she heard that familiar masculine voice inside her mind.

She faced forward again, embarrassed to be caught staring. Had he known all along that she couldn’t seem to keep her eyes of him? How mortifying!

To cover up her discomfort, she said, “My name is Kagome. And, um, I was just wondering about your...domain. In this world, I mean.”

 _Yeah, smooth, Kagome,_ she thought with a dejected sigh. Could she have sounded more unsure of herself?

But she was curious about his answer, so she waited expectantly as she stepped over what seemed like the hundredth tree root bent on tripping her up if she was not careful.

_If you are curious, then we may journey there instead of your village, and I shall show you._

“No, thank you,” she said, refusing his offer stubbornly.

She wasn’t _that_ curious. She had a home and family to get back to, along with her daily chores and duties. She didn’t have time to go traipsing wherever with a demon nor the inclination.

She then reflected that questioning him about his home in the spirit realm would probably gain her the same response and she definitely wouldn’t be following him there—ever.

Still, she was determined to learn something about this man, ah, youkai.

“What about your family? Can you tell me about them?”

She shot a miffed look towards him from the corner of her eye. “Can’t or won’t?”

_Won’t._

She gazed at him with displeasure, not liking how he brushed her off, then stumbled over a tree root. Luckily, she caught herself before she fell on her face disgracefully, but Sesshomaru didn’t seem to notice her lack of grace. She wasn’t sure if she should be thankful or miffed at his outward indifference towards her.

“Is there anything you will tell me? Like how old you are? That’s a simple enough question, right?” Kagome was aware that she was getting over emotional over his clipped answers, but she couldn’t help it. His attitude rubbed her the wrong way, especially after his declaration of desiring to corrupt her. Shouldn’t that signify he liked her in some way, big or small? Granted, they had just met, but he was the one wanting to get physical with her! Okay, and blacken her soul, but still! What were his motives...? Should she ask?

 _Why does it matter? You’re prying into things that do not concern you, he_ answered.

“I’m just trying to get to know you a little,” she defended herself. “Is that such a bad thing?”

His canine face turned to impale her with his golden stare, a devilish glint entering his gaze.

 _If you wish to get to know me, aijin, there are more pleasurable ways that I can show you,_ he purred in her mind.

Blushing, she said stoutly, “Forget it!”

Then she subsided, pensive. Her question about his motives nagged at her mind relentlessly. She had to ask. “Hey, Sesshomaru?” she asked in a subdued tone of voice, her eyes firmly on the ground in front of her, afraid to look over at him, afraid of his answer, but she needed to know. “Why...” she hesitated.

She could feel his gaze turning to her, but she refused to meet his curious eyes. She was sure he had picked up on her change in mood.

_Speak plainly, aijin._

Kagome decided to ignore his continual refusal to say her name and to just blurt out her question as fast as she could before she lost her nerve. “Why do you wish to corrupt my soul?”

Long minutes passed as she waited for his answer, hardly breathing. She started fidgeting with her kimono sleeve again, coming to the conclusion that he would not answer, but then she heard his voice in her mind again.

_We have a contract._

What kind of answer was that?

Kagome shot him a disgruntled expression, then demanded, “Is that always the payment you demand in return from the ones you save?”

_It is what I expect in repayment from you, Kagome._

Frustrated by his evasive and even cryptic replies, Kagome clenched her molars and focused on the forest floor before her again, wanting nothing more than to ignore the aggravating presence beside her. Forget conversing. He can remain a stranger to her for all she cared.  

_How old are you?_

His question surprised her. Then she sniffed at him, peeved.

“If you refuse to share, then so do I.”

His chuckle filtered through her mind, aggravating her further. So he thought her amusing, did he?

_I would hazard a guess that you are old enough to be breeding, and yet you are still untutored of the pleasures of the flesh._

She leveled a glare at him, to which he ignored. He didn’t even spare her a glance.

“I’m a miko,” she reminded him. “We aren’t normally permitted to take a husband, so it doesn’t matter what age I am. I’d still be pure in old age.”

Normally she would have become embarrassed discussing her chaste state, but she was annoyed with him, which seemed to cure her of her shy tendencies momentarily.

_One does not have to be bound by matrimony to take pleasure from another._

Now he was calling her a whore?! “Listen here you—” she started to fume angrily, stopping in her tracks to nail him with the full wrath of her glare, but he interrupted her tirade before it even began.

 _Surely you have been curious,_ miko _,_ he mocked her title.

Her words stumbled to an abrupt halt as memories of Hojo, one of many farmers in her village, entered her mind only then to be banished by the memory of Sesshomaru’s human face with eyes full of sexual promise.

 _Now_ she blushed, for it was true. She had been curious upon occasion when Hojo would come visiting her, or when she saw him working in the fields. Golden eyes then filled her mind, reminding her of another who prompted such desire in her. No! She didn’t think of this _youkai_ in that light. Never!

“You pry into things that don’t concern you,” she repeated his words, hoping he would not notice her reaction.

Of course he had.

_You may be innocent of carnal relations; however, I believe you have felt the stirrings of desire._

“You’re still prying,” she muttered, refusing to answer such a personal question.

Still, he refused to relent in his inquiries.

 _Have I stolen your first kiss, aijin?_ he asked wickedly.

Her cheeks flushed red once again. She looked away from him, silently walking beside him.

His knowing chuckle infuriated her.

“Yeah, well it was nothing to brag about! It was hardly enjoyable,” she said derisively.

It wasn’t a lie. Her first kiss, admittedly by him, was not a pleasurable experience. She had been far too focused on the men bent on doing her harm then the press of his lips against her own. Then she recalled the taste of iron and the sharp prick of pain as his fang pierced her tongue. Sesshomaru had exchanged a marginable amount of blood between them to seal their contract.

As if reading her mind, Sesshomaru mentally said to her confidently, _The second made up for the first._ Then he glanced at her from the corner of his eye. _There is much pleasure I would teach you, aijin, if only you would open up to me._

“No!”

 _“‘Sweet is the apple when the keeper is away,’_ ” he quoted to her. _No one is here but you and I. None need learn if you choose to experience gratification with me, miko._

“I said, no!” screeched Kagome loud enough to scare the birds in the tree above her, who squawked in fear and indignation.

Later that night...

Darkness had fallen around the dense forest, creating menacing shadows from the dancing flames from the camp fire Sesshomaru had insisted she blaze. He claimed he hadn’t wanted her to become chilled through the night. She had tried to tell him it was dangerous, that anyone could see their light and come investigate. He had merely assured her that he was capable of protecting her. He had sounded miffed that she had dared doubt his ability to do so.

Sesshomaru, still in dog form, lay across the fire from the sleeping onna, watching her as she slept. It had taken her over an hour after laying down to actually fall asleep, and he was aware of the moment when her heart slowed, her breathing growing shallow, as sleep overcame her.

His mind replayed their earlier conversation, more specifically, one of her many questions. _“Why do you wish to corrupt my soul?”_

He traced his gaze over her pale, heart-shaped face, over her lowered lashes, small noise, and delicate cheek bones. Her hair surrounded her like a black veil. She was curled on her side, facing the fire, the orange light dancing across her serene features, her face unmarked by blemish or age.

She was not the most beautiful woman he had laid eyes upon, human or otherwise, not even close, but nor was she displeasing to the eye. Her facial features were that of a sweet countenance that could beguile a hardened man and believe in the innocence reflected there. His eyes traveled over her small form, taking in her curled body. He could not deny that her form was attractive  then but curved in the right places. Her bust was not overly large, nor was it small, her hips rounded out nicely, and her belly appeared to be flat underneath all her clothing.

However, it would not have mattered to him, he reflected, if she had looked less favorably. It was not her face or body that which compelled him to her. Rather it was because of who she was and what she stood for. There had been many of her ilk, both monks and miko, who had viewed him as a loathsome beast unfit to live in their world. As if his very existence was an abomination against nature that they felt obliged to eradicate.

She was no different from the many before her. A hypocrite who thought just because they wielded the power of purification that they were above all others. But Sesshomaru knew, had witnessed, that they, too, held the same darkness inside their hearts and souls as he carried in his own. Like the bandits bent on doing her harm, a miko such as she could be just as vile. And he wanted to rip the shroud she hid behind and make her aware, to fully acknowledge, that she was just like those men, like him.

He blinked, recalling the moment he had become aware of her predicament. He had been passing by the Inu no Kami’s temple and noticed a large number of ningen gathered around the temple doors. He would have ignored their presence and continued on his way but for a young woman’s cries of deliverance as they reached his sensitive ears.

He assessed the situation with new eyes, actually listened to the derogatory remarks made by the human males as they hooted and hollered, trying to gain entry to the temple. He knew what they had planned for the fearful woman momentarily locked inside. Instead of feeling sorrow and rage at her plight, he was empty. He felt nothing for this faceless woman who would most likely be raped, her body mutilated beyond recognition, before death.

He was no hero, though he knew he could save her easily if he so wished, but he did not. The lives of humans were of no concern to him. Was any life for that matter? None save his own. He had begun to turn away, already turning his mind from the chaos behind him until he heard one word—miko.

Sesshomaru had frozen in his step then turned his head to gaze over his shoulder in silent speculation. Then he chuckled. A miko. A being said to be above reproach who sought shelter in the Inu no Kami’s temple, seeking divine intervention, and receiving no answer. How ironic. If one such as her was truly blessed by the gods, then why were her lease of salvation ignored? It was obvious what her fate would be once the ningen got their hands on her, and they would, soon.

A small grin of pure malice touched his lips as he turned into a shade, unseen by most creatures, and spirited himself inside the temple. This he had to see. As he looked down at the miko’s bent head, her shoulders trembling in fear, he remembered every attack, every spiteful word that had fallen from the lips of a similar being and his enjoyment grew. A just fate for one who would judge another for faults they themselves harbored. He intended to watch her fall from grace, for not even the gods wished to lift a hand to help that which was supposedly one of their own. 

He squatted down before her as she frantically tried to pour her offering of wine for the kami, hoping to elicit his help, wanting to gaze into her terror stricken eyes. And when he did, he was struck by a strange feeling. His eyes stared into her liquid brown pools, frozen where he crouched as he saw a look in her eyes he had never seen in another. It was more than fear he witnessed swirling there. They were eyes without guile, innocent as a babe’s, for only a babe was pure before it grew and became tainted by the world as all beings were.

Before he knew what he was doing, he had become corporal again and wrapped his hands around her own which still held the small jug of wine. Their eyes met and he was lost.

Returning to the present he scoffed at himself for the hundredth time. She innocent? No, there was darkness inside every living, breathing being, and he would prove to himself and to her that she was no different than the others he had come across in his travels. She may pretend, or truly believe, lying to herself, that she was untainted, but he knew different. The darkness inside of him had recognized a similar stirring, though small, from her. She held the darkness within her, too, and he would force her to acknowledge its presence and wipe that deceptive look from her eyes forever.

Then he would kill her. She had been meant to die this day. Who was he to play with fate? He chuckled evilly, the sound coming out inhuman in his dog-like form. Again his gaze swept over her sleeping form. Just the thought of spreading that small glimmer of darkness inside her, of corrupting her further, hardened his flesh. Teaching her the pleasures of the flesh, piercing her innocent body with his, heated his blood. Only when all traces of her pure light was banished, when her soul was as black as his own would he kill her.           

Unable to stay away, he stood, and walked over to the sleeping girl on padded paws, then shifted to his human form to kneel beside her. As if compelled, he reached out and stroked her soft cheek. When she made a soft noise, he stilled, thinking she was waking, but she settled again. Her lashes flickered as if she dreamed.

He wondered what that may be. What did the innocent dream? Did she dream of him?

The pulse at the side of her throat caught and held his attention so much so that his hand unconsciously moved downward to stroke along the slow beating rhythm. Lust pounded in his veins, his shaft aching to be buried inside her body. He moved his hand further down in a light caress to the V of her kimono where cloth met to cover her flesh.

He couldn’t understand the compulsion he had to touch her, to be near her, but he was helpless to deny his longing. Never before had he reacted as such with another. It was more, different, than darkness calling to darkness, but what that something else could be, he didn’t know, and it aggravated him. Before he ended her life, he would have the answer to that mystery. 

For now, he removed his touch and relocated behind her, spooning behind her back, and bringing her close to his chest and in the crook of his hips. He laid an arm around her impossibly small waist, his hand spread wide on her flat stomach, completely spanning it with his large palm. Then he eased his other arm under her, pillowing her head with his biceps before curling more tightly around her, his nose buried in her sweet smelling hair.

He was careful not to jostle her, not wanting her to wake and tell him to leave her. Since his kind required little to no sleep, he spent the long hours of the night gazing at her dark head, and contemplating the day ahead.    

Kagome awoke to warmth and a heady scent that filtered through her drowsy senses, causing her to blindly seek out more. She snuggled closer to the heat, and nuzzled her nose into it, wanting to inhale that potent scent throughout her lungs. As her mind further rose from her slumber, she noticed that the ‘warmth’ she had been nestling closer to was firm beneath her, yet smooth, like steel wrapped in silk under her hand.

Then she noticed a weight wrapped around her waist from behind and heard a steady heartbeat beneath her ear along with a rhythmic rise and fall that lifted her repeatedly ever so slightly. Her eyes popped open. Her cheek was pressed against hard muscle, and she tilted her head back, befuddled. Her eyes found molten amber.

Sesshomaru knew the instant she awoke. Her breathing became more heavy, her heart beat faster as her conscious rose from slumber. After long seconds of her nestling closer to his bare chest, he felt her freeze against his side, before her head tilted back, brushing her glossy mane against his chest, to look up at him without guile. Her confusion was tangible.

When clarity entered her eyes, she blushed, which caused him to smirk at her reaction.

“Good morning, aijin,” he rumbled.

Without answering, she tried to push up and away from him with her hand and forearm against his chest, but he tightened his arm around her, keeping her close, refusing to give up their closeness just yet.

Not knowing how she should respond to the situation with her mind still clouded from sleep, she hesitantly met his gaze once more and whispered back, “Good morning, Sesshomaru.”

Her eyes fluttered away from his as she again tested his hold on her. Nope, she wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon.

His hand caught her chin, forcing her to met his stare from just an inch away.

“I owe you a more memorable kiss,” he said huskily.

Before she could even think to form a response, his lips consumed her. His head tilted, aligning their mouths for a better angle as his tongue pressed against her lips, seeking entrance. She couldn’t help but respond. Later she would blame her reaction upon just waking and unable to form coherent thought yet.

Her mind went blank. All she could do was feel. Her mouth opened, and his tongue swept in, stroking along every dip and crevice. Instinctively, she responded, moving her tongue against his at first hesitantly, then more boldly as pleasure swamped her.

Her hair was like a veil around them, hiding their passionate embrace from the outside world. Her black tresses mixed with his silvery white mane making it seem as if she were the dark angel and he the white. It was a contrast between their natures that was not lost on Sesshomaru, and he burned hotter, aching for the woman above him to surround him with her soft touch.

Kagome was beyond thought as she tried to get closer to Sesshomaru, his touch intoxicated her, his scent once again filling her lungs. She ached in places that had never seen the light of day, her body crying out for more, though she knew not for what.

When she felt Sesshomaru shift his hands down her back and over her hips to grasp her behind, she was shocked at the unexpected but pleasurable contact as he squeezed the globes. She broke the kiss with a startled gasp. She gazed down at him with wide eyes for several long seconds before her face turned red and she began to struggle in earnest.

“What do you think you’re doing, Sesshomaru?!” she screeched.

He moved his hands, thankfully, to her back and kept her pinned half on top of him. Ignoring her struggles, he asked, “Was it better?”

Huffing, unhappy that he refused to release her, she glared down at him and peevishly asked, “What?” not understanding his question.

“The kiss. Did you enjoy it more this time?”

He was teasing her, and she knew it.

Sputtering, she demanded, “Let go!” and commenced with her struggles again.

“Not until you answer me truthfully, aijin.” His arms tightened around her, pressing her lush curves against the hard expanse of his chest, enjoying her wriggling movements.

“My name is Kagome,” she growled, ignoring his demand as she continued to thrash atop him.

It was a futile battle, one she reluctantly, silently, admitted defeat to if ungraciously. “It was fine,” she muttered finally, stilling her struggles for the time being.

His scowl warned her of his displeasure at her answer.

He grabbed her chin again, forced her close to his face. “I shall have to try harder than ‘fine’.”

He tried to kiss her, but she squirmed, trying to escape. Unknowingly, her movements placed her knee between both his own, but she was hardly aware of the long, think, and hard length her knee pressed lightly against. She had her hands pressed against his naked chest in her effort to escape when the absent of fabric between her palms and his flesh gradually filtered through her mind.

She froze and so did he as her hand began to explore the hard muscles of his chest and shoulders, grazing over a nipple. She heard his breath catch, and he shifted slightly beneath her. That hard rod pressed more firmly against her knee.

A memory of picking up his discarded clothes as he transformed into a dog entered her mind, reminding her of his state of undress.

Shocked, she gazed down at him. “You’re naked.”

“It appears to be so,” he answered carelessly.

All she could do was stare at him for long moments as the realization of being pressed so intimately to a naked man hit her. “You’re naked!”

“I believe we have already settled that point, aijin.”

His amusement didn’t seem to penetrate her shock as she lay still above him, on him.

Her eyes lowered, tempted to gaze at the flesh he so willingly flaunted at her. She only had a bare glimpse of his throat and collar bone before she clamped her eyes shut, denying temptation. She yearned to gaze upon his naked flesh, curious to see the male form, his body, but she feared his hold on her. If just a kiss could make her lose her senses, then she feared what seeing his nude body would do to her.

“Shy, aijin?” his voice taunted her in a husky whisper.

She cringed at the sound of his voice, a sinking suspicion settling in. She had woken in his arms. How had she gotten there?

“Sesshomaru? Did...did you sleep next to me? All night? _Naked_?” she squeaked the last word.

“Yes,” he all but purred next to her ear.

She squirmed, aroused but embarrassed. Her knee nudged that thick pole again. She just knew what it had to be, though she had never actually seen one with her own eyes, or felt one for that matter—until now. She quickly straightened her leg. Again she tried to push away from him.

Surprisingly, he let her escape.

She scampered off of him without opening her eyes and turned her back to him. She ran for the bushes saying, “I need a moment.”

Sesshomaru watched her flee with a grin, calling out to her retreating back, “If you need satisfaction, aijin, then there’s no need to hide and take care of your need yourself. I am more than willing to aid you in this.”

“I need to relieve myself!” she hollered back, disappearing from his sight.

“And I told you I can do that for you,” he called back, loud enough for her to hear.

“That’s not what I meant!”

Kagome was embarrassed to tell him she had to use the bushes, but what else could she say to get away from him? Besides...now that she was here, she might as well take care of business.


	5. Great Sorrow

A few hours later of mostly silent travel, Kagome blinked out of her thoughts as she suddenly realized she was walking across one of the fields on the outskirts of her village the farm laborers spent the majority of their day working the land. Joy at returning to her home swept through Kagome as she unconsciously sped up her pace, soaking in the familiar sights around her.

At first she didn’t notice anything out of the ordinary as she walked through the silent and abandoned fields with Sesshomaru in dog form trailing forgotten at her side, but when she saw an abandoned farm rake in her path, she paused. Confusion glazed her eyes before her mind recalled seeing a similar sight upon her return. Looking around her uncomprehendingly, she saw many more rakes and hoes, baskets and hats lying forgotten on the ground around her.

Dawning apprehension caused her muscles to tense as dread settled in her chest. She hastened her step further, running towards the village. It was the middle of the morning. The men and a few women should be out in the fields, tending to their crops, yet no one was there. Farm equipment left in the dirt, abandoned. _Something has happened,_ she thought in growing fear.

She didn’t even notice the large, white dog looping beside her as she ran through the deserted dirt paths of her village. Looking around with frantic eyes, seeing no human life in her desperate search, she ran for the hut she shared with her obaasan and elder sister. However, she caught movement from the corner of her vision. Almost stumbling from her quick stop, she then walked fast towards the old man leaning against the door jam to a small hut.

Recognizing him, Kagome called out to him, her voice laced with fear and worry, “Jinsei!” Rushing to him, she fell to her knees beside him, lifting a hand to rest on his frail shoulder. “Jinsei, what happened? Are you alright? Where is everyone?”

Jinsei lifted tired, cloudy brown eyes, a look of hopelessness and fear unable to miss as he met her worried gaze. “Kagome-miko. You’ve returned. I see you have failed us.”

His words pierced her heart, freezing her in place. “W-what do you mean, Jinsei?”

What was he talking about?

He looked away from her as if it pained him to lay eyes on her. The gesture hurt along with his condemning words. “You were supposed to pray for the Inu no Kami’s intervention to save us all. Yet here you are while everyone has fled. If only your sister had been here in your place. I’m sure the Inu no Kami would have listened to her prayers.”

Kagome couldn’t breathe. Everyone was gone?

Grabbing both of his shoulders, Kagome leaned forward as she asked, desperate for information, “What happened, Jinsei? Where is everyone? Tell me!”

But it was as if he didn’t hear her as he whispered, “We are doomed because of you.”

Kagome sucked in her breath as pain lanced her heart. Pulling away from him, trembling from her inner turmoil, she slowly rose to her feet, unaware of her companion’s silent, watchful stare.

Turning abruptly, she ran for her home, ignoring the few people she saw, the old and frail. She had to get to her obaasan, nothing else seemed to matter now. If she could just get to Kaede-obaasan, everything would be alright. It had to be!

Seeing the familiar hut, she cried out, “Obaasan!” as she ran inside. Still she did not notice Sesshomaru’s presence as he stayed outside, all her attention on finding her grandmother.

She was there, wrapping bandages and medicine in a basket, obviously preparing to depart soon. The older woman looked up at her with her one eye, obviously startled by her abrupt appearance. Kagome fell to her knees before her grandmother, her hands to the floor in front of her as she spoke. “Obaasan, what is going on?! I finally returned home, but no one is in the fields. Everything was laying abandoned, and the village is all but deserted. I found Jinsei and he...he said...”

Remembering his cryptic yet cruel words she stumbled on her words. Distraught, she fell silent, tears swelling in her eyes.

“Oh, my precious child,” Kaede whispered with sadness as she set aside her medicine basket to embrace her.

Like a child, Kagome tried to hide in her grandmother’s embrace as she had done countless times growing up when she was sad and upset.

“There, there, child,” Kaede told her, stroking her hair in a familiar, comforting gesture.

“Tell me what’s going on, Kaede-obaasan,” begged Kagome as she leaned back several minutes later.

Kaede let out a tired sigh. “Word has come from the neighboring village. The bandits have ransacked the town, killing and burning everything to the ground. A few were even taken captive. I fear the villagers have fled our small community, afraid that the same fate will befall us.”

“But I thought the villagers weren’t going to run...that they had agreed it was too late to get away. What if the bandits find them on the road and...” Kagome said fearfully, unable to complete her sentence.

“Fear is a powerful thing, child. Everyone able to get up and leave have done so. Only a few remain, those unable to travel.”

Kagome was silent. She couldn’t speak for long minutes. Even when Kaede picked up her basket and stood, Kagome was unable to say anything. She feared her grandmother was silently condemning her just as Jinsei had done, blaming her for her failure to obtain the Inu no Kami’s aid.

“I have errands to take care of. I will be back later, child.” Before she could leave, Kagome spun around on her knees and asked, “Wait, obaasan! What about Kikyo?! You said the neighboring village was destroyed. Kikyo was there! Where is she? Tell me she’s okay!”

Without turning around, Kaede answered, “I don’t know. No one who came with the news knows of her fate.” Then she was gone, leaving Kagome alone to her fears and despair.

Kagome couldn’t move as shocked disbelief held her immobile. Her sister was missing, possibly captured...or dead. No! Lifting her hands to press against the sides of her head, she clenched her eyes shut in bitter self-recrimination.

It was her fault, just as Jinsei had said, like her grandmother was probably silently blaming her for. If only she had been able to beg for the kami’s aid, the villagers would still be here and Kikyo would be safe.

Kagome opened her eyes in realization. She hadn’t been good enough. That’s why the Inu no Kami refused to come to help them. If it had been her sister who had gone to the shrine to pray for divine intervention, none of this would have happened. Kagome just wasn’t good enough. How many times had that painful fact been proven to her time and again? Kikyo was stronger than her, more skilled, and knowledgeable. Everyone knew it, yet her pride had been too strong to acknowledge it.

It was her fault. Her pride had condemned them all.

Suddenly a wet, rough tongue licked her cheek. Recoiling in shocked surprise, Kagome gaped at the large, white dog before her.

“What are you doing?” she said without thinking, feeling the sticky saliva growing cold on her cheek before wiping it away with her sleeve.

_You are crying._

Lifting a hand to her face, Kagome was surprised to feel it wet. She had been crying without realizing it. Her eyes settled on her companion when a new thought came to her. Instead of the Inu no Kami, he had appeared. Guilt assaulted her. What had she done? Instead of the Inu no Kami, she had summoned a demon.

No. It couldn’t be her fault.

Lowering her head, her bangs hiding her eyes, while she clenched her hands into her hakama, she whispered, “It wasn’t supposed to be you.” Lifting her gaze, she glared at him, her expression a mixture of sorrow and anger as she said louder, “It wasn’t supposed to be you!” Her emotions blinded her as she turned the blame on him, away from herself. Lashing out, she continued her tirade, “I was trying to ask the Inu no Kami for his aid, instead, you interfered. Why couldn’t you have left me alone? Because of you the villagers are gone, Kikyo is missing, and the bandits are—”

Suddenly, Sesshomaru transformed into his humanoid form, crouching over her with a hand placed on the floor by her right hip, while the other squeezed her face, causing her lips to pout. His grip was far from gentle, his sharp claws digging into her flesh yet not breaking the skin. There was no kindness in his expression as he stared down at her, his eyes cold.

Sesshomaru was less than pleased with her words as he said, his voice low but filled with menace, “You wish I had left you alone? Had I done that, those human filth would have captured and raped you, sharing you amongst dozens of men for hours as they beat and tortured you. You would have begged for death long before it was granted. Is that want you want?” He slightly shook her. “Your kami abandoned you, a miko who should be their favored amongst all others. And yet you believe he would have saved your pathetic village? Don’t be foolish.” His expression turned to a sneer. “This is why I despise humans. Pitiful creatures who do nothing but complain and feel discontent with their lives, accusing others for their misfortune and doing nothing to improve their lives. Instead of blaming me, I suggest you make better use of your time instead of wasting mine.”

He glared down at her, his displeasure impossible to miss. She was afraid. His actions and words scared her, made her remember that this was not a creature to take lightly or to trifle with. And yet she was drawn to him. Barely above a whisper, she spoke around his painful grip, “Why?”

Sesshomaru’s featured turned bland, expressionless, as he took in the change in hers. Her emotions changed so quickly, he was having difficulties keeping up. He loosened his grip on her face to allow her to speak easier.

“If you hate humans so much, then why did you save me? You could have ignored me, walked away or even watched as they tormented me. Instead, you saved me.”

His hand turned gentle as he caressed her cheek before moving behind her skull and again turning violent. He gripped her hair, forced her head back at a painful angle, his expression changing not a bit as she gasped in pain at his rough treatment. Her eyes closed for a second before she opened them again to meet his gaze.

“To open your eyes to the darkness within you.”

Not understanding his cryptic remark, she told him so. “I don’t understand.”

“You will in time.”

He was so close, his breath whispered across her face, she thought he was going to kiss her. She wanted to reject his touch, but another part of her wanted it, yearned to feel his lips on her own. Unconsciously, she licked her lips, her eyes settling on his as she waited expectantly. But he pulled back and let her go.

She couldn’t believe the level of disappointment she felt as he stood and moved away from her. When she became aware of his nakedness, she averted her gaze, but not before she caught a glimpse of his sex. That small glimpse had been too fast for her to see any real detail and she was compelled to take a longer look, but when she lifted her eyes, unable to help herself, he was evaporating into smoke.

“Do not leave the village,” she heard him say, before he was gone, leaving her alone.

That night as the moon was high in the sky, Kagome found herself gazing at her reflection in the river at the outskirt of her village near the cliffs, wearing only her white sleeping yukata. She had been unable to sleep as guilt assaulted her, as did Sesshomaru’s continual absence.

She had not only failed her village but unjustly accused Sesshomaru of wrong doing. He had saved her life, and she had repaid him with angry, ungrateful words. She yearned to apologize to him, but she wouldn’t blame him if he now wanted nothing to do with her, contract or not.

After a time, Kagome became aware of the growing smell of smoke. Looking over her shoulder, her breath caught as she saw orange and red flames reaching towards the night sky where her village should be. She stood and ran towards the fire, her fear escalating as her ears heard the sounds of men shouting, people screaming, and horses shrieking.

All around her, all was chaos. Huts were on fire, blood soaked the ground as body parts and corpses lay discarded in the dirt. Kagome gasped in horror as she saw an elderly woman cut down from behind before her eyes, blood spraying in a violent arc as her assailant laughed, as she fell lifeless to the ground.

Kagome ran. The bandits had come. She had to find Kaede and run.

Somehow she made it back to her grandmother’s hut without being attacked, but it was ablaze. Disregarding the danger, Kagome ran into the hut, shouting Kaede’s name only to choke on the black smoke which also caused her eyes to water. Heading further inside, Kagome could barely see for the thick smoke before she tripped and fell over a lump on the floor.

Her hands fell into something warm and sticky. Looking behind her, she saw Kaede, blood surrounding her unmoving form. Seconds later, fire caught on the older woman’s yukata, prompting Kagome to rise and try to move her obaasan to safety. However, an ominous creaking reached her ears before a wooden beam fell, crushing the old miko while sending fire and sparks at Kagome’s face. Stumbling back, Kagome cried out, watching in horror as the fire surrounded her, trapping her.

The thought of burning alive started to sink in as the heat became unbearable, but a load crash splintered the air above the roar of the flames. Strong arms scooped her up as Sesshomaru took her to safety outside the burning building. Fighting him, Kagome coughed out a weak protest, needing to save her obaasan only to be ignored.

“She’s dead, miko.”

Kagome shook her head in denial at his words, incapable of speech as she coughed up her lungs. Just then, a few bandits charged them, blood lust in their eyes as they came at them with swords drawn. A strange green light, like a whip, flashed out of Sesshomaru’s claws as he decapitated them before her grief stricken eyes.

Then Sesshomaru looked at her with an expression she could not name. “Do you want them all to pay for the life of your grandmother and the others? Shall I kill them for you as I did the ones at the shrine?”

She blinked at him in confusion as he knelt before her. Her mind refused to process his meaning.

“Surely you are angry, filled with the need for vengeance for their actions. Embrace it, aijin,” he whispered almost seductively to her, a dark gleam in his golden, inhuman gaze.

Kagome shook her head. How could she think about anything other than the crimson stains that painted the ground, hear anything other than the screams of the dying and laughter of their murderers? Reality fell from her grasp as her mind ceased to function in an attempt to protect her from further trauma.

Sesshomaru frowned as her brown orbs glazed over.

Guessing correctly that she had gone into shock, Sesshomaru picked her up and departed the destroyed village without a backwards glance. He took her to an old well a few miles from her village before he set her down. He thought she would wish for vengeance once she recovered, but for now, she cried, and he was at a loss at what to do.

Her voice hoarse from smoke inhalation, Kagome tried to make sense of her situation, fighting her minds attempts to shield her. “When I was a child, obaasan used to tell me after my mother passed away that there was no death, only a change of worlds. But how can I believe that when death can be so brutal? How can there be another life beyond this one when the body can so easily be ripped apart?” Sobbing, she turned tortured eyes to Sesshomaru, pleading for understanding. “How can another human being do such harm to another?”

His reply was not comforting as he replied without hesitation. “It is human nature.”

At once he knew his mistake.

Instead of the anger and need for revenge he thought she would feel, he noticed her eyes only held sorrow and disbelief towards a world filled with evil men. She was a strange onna, one he fought to understand.

He wanted her to stop crying but instinctively knew he could say nothing to stop her tears, so he sat beside her and did the only thing he could think of. He pulled her into his arms and did what he had witnessed other humans doing when someone wept. He comforted her in a silent embrace. It went against his demonic nature, but if it would stop her blubbering quicker, he held her close, pressing her face against his chest as he stroked her soft, black tresses and thought she might be more trouble than she was worth.


	6. Nightmares

When her sobs finally subsided into tired hiccups, Sesshomaru felt her soon drift off to sleep, having exhausted herself from her bout of tears. However, he did not move. He sat there, holding the woman-child to his chest a while longer not because he wanted to but to make sure she did not wake and start crying again. His ears were still ringing from her last crying fit, the front of his haori soaked in the salt of her tears. He did not relish the thought of having to endure more of her human emotions this night.

Rising to his feet with languid grace, he moved an arm under her knees and another to support her back as her head rested on his shoulder, without waking her. He turned his back to the burning embers that was her home, walking into the forest that surrounded this area but not going far. Seeing a huge tree, obviously a god tree, he sat amongst its large roots, and rested his broad back against the wide trunk, ignoring the roughness of its bark.

He kept the girl close, helping her stay warm with his own body heat as she wore only a white sleeping yukata. Her ningen body was frail. He did not want her to become sick and possibly die from exposure. At least not until he was finished with her. He was not yet ready to part company with this little onna. He looked down at her, the night sky doing nothing to obstruct his vision as his honey, gold eyes observed her red, tear stained visage.  

Sesshomaru had witnessed many tears over the years, tears of those in pain, the fearful, the dying, from those begging him or others for mercy. So many tears, and not a one had ever moved him, not even hers. Such a display merely proved how weak the individual was, no matter the reason behind them. So far he had seen her tears on more than one occasion. When first he saw her, she had been crying from fear, then at her humble dwelling, though, he knew not the reason behind those tears, and now after the brutality that had befallen her village.

She wept a lot, he surmised with an internal sigh at the thought that this was most likely going to be a normal occurrence for her. He resigned himself to the knowledge that he would probably be the one to ‘comfort’ her at such times. It wan’t that he minded holding her close to his body, but he would rather it be for a more intimate reason, not because she was crying all over him.

His gaze again flickered across her peaceful, sleeping face. She was no different from all the other humans he had seen or been in contact with. She had already proven so when she had tried to blame him for the Inu no Kami’s lack of response to her prayers. No, she was no different. After the shock wore off, surely she would become angry and desire revenge against those who took everything from her. It was only human nature to hurt those who hurt you.

He smiled, an upward movement of his lips that was pure malice as he leaned down to nuzzle her temple. Tomorrow would prove to be enjoyable as he watched her soul blacken when she would ask him to help her exact her vengeance. It was never a more beautiful sight than seeing the seemingly innocent turn from the light and embrace the darkness within themselves.

Kagome awoke with a terrified gasp, her breathing rapid, her heart pounding frantically in her breast as sweat coated her body, making her clothes cling to her flesh. At first she knew not where she was, images of the fire and crimson blood held her tortured mind in thrall. While she tried to breathe past the fear that she was trapped in, Sesshomaru watched her.

He had not gone to sleep last night, not needing the rejuvenating powers of rest. Instead he had watched Kagome, noting every time she had a nightmare, seeing how she flinched in her sleep, how her facial features scrunched up as unpleasant dreams plagued her unconscious mind. More than once she had curled into his chest seeking comfort unknowingly from her dreams, calming down soon after only later to again twitch as another nightmare rose to claim her.

Her fearful whimpers still echoed in his ears, but he had done nothing to save her from her dreams, wanting her to remember even in her dreams all that was taken from her to build her anger and need for blood lust when she finally woke. Yesterday, she had been too traumatized, too broken, to do anything other than break down in a pitiful heap. Surely today would be different, filled with the blood and cries from the dying of her enemies.

Wanting her to focus on him instead of the images he could tell were behind her eyes, he called to her, “Aijin.”

A startled gasp left her lips at his voice before large, chocolate brown orbs lifted to pin him with a frightened gaze. At first he could tell she did not recognize him, but then she gave a small sob and launched herself at him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and burying her face in his neck.

Sesshomaru’s eyes were slightly wide in shock at her actions, then dread centered around his stomach as he encircled his arms around her back, holding her against him when she started to tremble against him. Surely she wasn’t about to cry again? He wanted her angry, dammit.

In an effort to get things on the right tract, he turned his head towards hers, his lips next to her ear as he whispered in a low compelling voice, “Are you remembering, Kagome?” He said her name to further gain her attention on him and his words.

She nodded mutely, rubbing her face along the column of his throat while her arms tightened around his neck, though not so much to cut off his breathing.

Encouraged that she was listening to him, he murmured, “Do you remember the fire? How it consumed everything in its path?” Her whimper was answer enough. “Can you still hear the screams of fear and pain, from the dying? Or how the murderers laughed as they cut down everyone you once knew.”

“Stop,” he heard her implore softly, her hold on him slackened but not as of yet drawing away from him.

“Do you want them to pay?” he tempted her, his voice low yet rough. He couldn’t deny the thought of her asking him to kill for her, to use him to exact revenge, was a turn on to his dark nature, to bask in the blood of her enemies before laying her down to rut like animals. His large body tensed and thickened at the thought and he held her all the tighter.

Kagome didn’t feel the change in him, her mind filled with the distressing images from the night before, and the words being whispered in her ear. They were words she didn’t want to hear, not when all she wanted was comfort and understanding, for someone to make everything better in a world gone so wrong.

She averted her face from Sesshomaru as she pushed against his chest in an effort to get away from him and the words she didn’t want to hear. “I don’t want to think about it,” she said, wanting him to understand.

Sesshomaru didn’t allow her to escape when she silently demanded for freedom, pressing her closer to him, using his hold on her back to keep her against his chest. Part of him was angry at her continual dismissal of the subject. Why wasn’t she filled with anger over the death and destruction of her family and home? Another part of him was aroused by his imaginings of fucking this miko while the blood of others coated them both. He wanted, needed, to taint her. It was a strong compulsion inside of him he didn’t want to deny, yet still she resisted.

“They killed everyone, your grandmother included, and burned your village to the ground,” he reminded her angrily.

Unable to get away from him, Kagome begged in a thick voice, “No more.” Her hands were trapped between them, her forearms pressed against his chest, but she could not move him no matter how she tried.

“Do you think it was unintentional? Some kind of accident?” he demanded of her in a fierce whisper, refusing to let her put space between there bodies. “Those men knew what they were doing. You can’t deny the destruction they have caused. They took everything from you, your home, your family,” he repeated. Maybe she hadn’t understood the first time.

“Enough!” Kagome cried, clenching her eyes tightly shut, wishing she could do the same to her ears to shut out his painful reminders.

“You’re all alone in this world now because of them.”

Those words made her freeze as she stopped all of her attempts at escape. She sat in his lap, half turned towards him, her face pressed against his shoulder, her arms trapped between them, while his arms caged her against him.

Sesshomaru felt her reaction and pressed further. “They deserve to pay, to suffer as you now suffer.” Almost comfortingly he stroked her hair and back. He nuzzled her ear. “It’s alright to hate them, Kagome, to want them dead for what they have done. Embrace the pain, the anger. I will kill them for you. You don’t have to.”

 _Yet,_ he silently thought, knowing in the future he would ask it of her. But not this time.

Since she wasn’t fighting him any longer, he leaned back, cupped her left cheek in his large palm, and met her tormented eyes. “Let me help you, Kagome.”

Kagome didn’t understand why he was so persistent, why he wanted her to be angry. Didn’t he know she already was? Just because she did not want to kill those who took everything from her, did not mean she was passive about what happened last night. But more death could not return to her what was stolen. “What would their deaths change? Nothing. Could their blood fill the void they caused inside me? Will it bring back my obaasan? What would their deaths accomplish other than more blood and death? That’s not what I want! I have nothing and killing them won’t change that.”

Sesshomaru felt like glowering at the obtuse female in his arms, his ardor replaced by anger at her refusal to see things his way. Without warning, he stood with her in his arms and flew through the air back to her village, ignoring her cry of alarm. He landed in the middle of the destroyed town, small fires still eating away at wood not yet consumed, bodies of the dead lying in dark, dried pools of blood around them. All was quiet except the cracking embers.

He set her down and demanded, “Look.” Perhaps she needed a visual reminder of the destruction that had occurred last night.

When she tried to avert her gaze, he stood behind her and cupped her face from behind, pressing her back against his chest, her rump into his thighs, their legs touching. He kept her immobile as he forced her to look around. “Look,’ he repeated harshly. “See what they have done? Do you think they deserve to continue living after all the pain and sorrow they have caused you? Have you never heard the saying, ‘what goes around, comes around’?”

“Stop it,” she cried, hating what he was doing, hating him. She tried to wrench away from him, but he would not let her go. She felt his arms cross over her breasts, his hands holding onto both of her shoulders as he kept her against his body.

“Are you not angry? You cry, but you do nothing to avenge the dead,” he told her. He couldn’t understand her. Was she merely a coward? But that couldn’t be right. Hadn’t he already told her more than once that he would kill them for her? Why did she hesitate?

More tears rimmed her eyes as Kagome looked at the destruction around her, remembered every horrible act she had witnessed last night. Her village on fire, bodies discarded on the ground, blood everywhere, even the unmoving body of her grandmother before it was crushed under a fallen beam. How could she not be angry? How could he doubt it?

“I am angry,” she admitted in a whisper, going limp against his body, no longer fighting to get away.

Sesshomaru was surprised by her admission, fearing that he had failed to entice her to violence. He smiled. She was like all the rest. Of course she wanted revenge. Who wouldn’t in her place? He was pleased by their progress. He opened his mouth to speak, but her words stopped his own. “I am angry,” she repeated. “But killing them will not make me feel better.”

His arms slacked around her and she stepped away from him before turning to face him from only a few feet away, her head tilted back to meet his gaze. He frowned at her, realizing what she was saying, liking it not one bit.

Her gaze turned pleading. “But there is one thing that will. My sister. I have to find Kikyo. She was in the neighboring village while it was attacked the other day. Captives were taken. She might be among those taken. I have to save her.” She lifted her small hands and clenched them into his haori, stepping toe to toe with him as she begged, “Help me find her. I can’t do that myself or save her. I need you. Please, help me, Sesshomaru.”

He didn’t move or speak for several seconds, his eyes never leaving hers. She feared he would deny her request, but his hands lifted to wrap around her own. He leaned down closer to her and said, “I will help you.” Hope and gratitude filled her eyes as she opened her mouth to thank him, but he spoke before she could get the words out. “However, I will also teach you the pleasure of revenge.”

She tried to draw back, shaking her head at his words, but he tightened his hands around hers, forcing her to continue holding onto his clothes. “Have you forgotten our contract? You have agreed to cooperate in my attempts to corrupt your soul. You have never tasted the pleasure of vengeance, and I will see to it that you do. I shall show you by killing every one of those bandits and you are going to watch me do it and know that the ones who have caused you such pain are gone from this world.”

Kagome couldn’t speak. What he said sounded horrifying, to kill another for such a reason was foreign to her, but he was right. They had a contract. Though she didn’t want to be the cause of another’s death, she didn’t want to die either, especially when she had to find her sister. She nodded her head and watched as his eyes gleamed with dark anticipation.


	7. Taste of Darkness

After her silent nod of reluctant acceptance, he dropped her hands and hers fell away from his haori. Unable to keep looking into his satisfied gaze, her eyes fell to his chest, seeing the wrinkles she had caused from her tight grip. Though she was unhappy with what he demanded, expected of her, Kagome did not step away from Sesshomaru, the only living, breathing person other than herself left in her destroyed village.

“Can we go now?” she whispered, a hitch in her throat, the smell of burnt wood and charred  flesh a painful reminder of last night’s massacre.

Unable to help herself, she reached out a hand to Sesshomaru, seeking comfort, but he turned away from her. She watched his retreating back with bewilderment, then pain. She followed. At first she looked at the ground, but that too was blackened from fire, grey ash everywhere. She quickly lifted her gaze to his broad, white back, focusing on the fluid sway of his long, silver hair.

Sesshomaru ignored the onna who followed quietly behind him. He felt no remorse in refusing her the contact, the comfort, she felt she needed. Let her suffer alone, feel the sting of loss as they traversed the quiet streets of her destroyed home. Let her be painfully reminded of all that was taken from her. He wanted hatred to build inside her breast even if she was not consciously aware of its presence. Soon, she would be when she witnessed him spill the blood of her enemies.

He also had to admit to himself that he was far from pleased with her, by her continual denial of not desiring retribution. He acknowledged that part of the reason he forced her to make this painful trek through the wreckage was because of his irritation at her. It was a small penance for angering him.

Kagome’s thoughts almost mirrored his own, for she knew Sesshomaru could fly them out of the burnt remains of her village. He chose not to, the jerk. When he walked near an unmoving form, she cringed. Then she gritted her teeth as tears misted her eyes, once again watching the sway of his beautiful hair. He had done that on purpose, was forcing her to acknowledge her surroundings, to remember. She almost hated him for his callous behavior. But she followed him silently. She needed him to help her find her sister. And right now, he was all she had.

Out of seemingly nowhere, a bleak thought struck her, and she froze as the horrible realization set in.

Sesshomaru stopped when he no longer heard the miko following him. He gazed at her over his shoulder in silent inquiry. She was not looking at him but at the ground, her expression hidden by her bangs.

“Aijin?”

At his soft call, her head lifted slowly, and when her gaze reached his own, he knew something was wrong. Her eyes were filled with anger and bitter anguish.

He turned to face her.

“You could have saved them,” she whispered, her eyes accusing him. Kagome’s hands tightened into fists as she took a step towards the inugami who stood coolly before her. “You had the power to save them and you didn’t! Why did you let this happen? How could you?” Her expression turned pleading as she sought understanding. “You saved me back at the shrine. I know you could have stopped those bandits, yet you didn’t. You let them die...everyone.” Her voice cracked.

Sesshomaru tensed. His mind quickly formulated an excuse. “You are wrong, aijin. I wasn’t here.”

“Liar! You came for me. You pulled me out of the burning hut. You were there.” Her aura flared, but she didn’t realize it.

Sesshomaru did, and he knew that if he did not calm her down, she would probably try to purify him. Not that he was worried she would harm him, let alone defeat him, but she would no longer be willing to abide by their contract, and he was far from done with her.

He schooled his expression, shook his head at her words. “I had left.” He raised his right arm as he said, “I was in need of a new set of garments as you are aware. When I returned, the village was ablaze, and I went in search of you.”

He was lying, he didn’t care, felt no remorse to lie to this distraught ningen. In reality, he had seen the bandits coming, had watched with a small, malicious smile as they destroyed, raided, and murdered. Yes, he could have saved the villagers, massacred the aggressors, but he had wanted the village destroyed, wanted this miko to be left alone in the world and watch her heart blacken with the need for vengeance.

He had watched over her from the skies, made sure that she was safe. He had even killed a few men who had gone after her without her knowledge. He had watched her frantic movements as she ran to her small dwelling, knowing what she would find, her grandmother’s corpse, for she had been one of the first killed.

However, her reaction was not what he had anticipated, disappointing him. But he planned to change that. It was only a matter of time. But he could not tell her that. She would despise him and rightfully so.

Kagome tried to read his expression, to find any hint at deception. She found none, only open sincerity. Her shoulders slumped in dejection as she realized she had accused him unjustly, again. How he must hate her. He had saved her life, twice, and this was how she repaid him. She felt awful, ashamed.

She stepped forward with a remorseful expression. “I’m sorry, Sesshomaru. I didn’t mean...you’ve done so much for me. I had no right to think that you’d...can you ever forgive me?” She was muddling up her apology, but she couldn’t seem to help it.

Looking down into her sincere, sad gaze, Sesshomaru felt a twinge of conscious. In that moment, she looked so unbelievably innocent and pure that he opened his mouth to release her from his contract, but then he got a hold of himself, silently berated himself for his foolishness. There was no such thing as a pure being, innocence was a lie. Humans were born with an evil nature just like demons, and just like a leopard, they couldn’t change their spots, their nature.

How could he forget that one simple fact for even a second? Her unbeguiling expression angered him, made him want to hurt her for daring to make him doubt, for hiding from the darkness within her soul. More than anyone else before her, he would relish the moment she realized her innocent facade was nothing more than a lie.

Kagome cringed, not understanding his fierce expression. At first his eyes had clouded over, looking indecisive, and something more, remorseful maybe, but then his eyes had turned flinty, hard. His expression scared her. He looked almost like he hated her, despised her. For a fleeting moment, she thought he would strike her, his body tense, ready to pounce.

She took a hesitant, wary step back, but he merely watched her for a second longer before turning away from her and began walking away again. She hesitated further. Should she follow him?

“Come, miko.”

She almost jumped out of her skin in surprise at his unexpected call. Still she didn’t move. His voice had been emotionless, unfeeling. He scared her, but she forced herself to take a step forward, then another and another. She followed him even though logic screamed at her to turn and run away, get as far away from this dangerous youkai as fast as possible.

Instead, she followed him. For one, she wanted to escape her destroyed home, for another, she needed his help to find, and possibly, save her sister. And deep in her subconscious was a desperate need. Until she found Kikyo, she was alone in the world, but with Sesshomaru there, his tall, indomitable form walking steadily ahead of her, she could pretend that she wasn’t.

Finally they were leaving the village, the scent of smoke and burnt flesh forever seared in her mind when she noticed where they were going, or not going as was the case.

“Uh, Sesshomaru?” she called softly, wary of him still.

He didn’t pause in his stride, didn’t acknowledge her. She wondered if he heard her or purposefully ignored her.

Trying again, she said louder, “Sesshomaru? We’re going the wrong way. The village Kikyo was visiting is the other-”

“That is not our destination.”

Though his reply was clipped, she was encouraged, hoping his willingness to converse with her was a good sign. “But that’s where she was last seen. Shouldn’t we start there?”

“If what the villagers said was true, then that village is already destroyed. We will find no answers there.”

He had a point. Her shoulders sagged, realizing that she had no idea where to start looking for her sister. Then she wondered where Sesshomaru was taking her. His steps were unhurried, but he didn’t hesitate, as if he had a destination in mind. “Then do you...know where we’re going?”

Sesshomaru had quickly regained control over his ire; however, right now, he was in no mood to interact with the miko. He did not want to converse with her, did not want to comfort her, and he most assuredly did not want her making him second guess himself.

He wanted her to silently follow him and leave him to his thoughts. No such luck. Instead of ignoring her like he wanted to do, logic had him responding. He knew if he didn’t give her even the barest of information concerning their destination, knowing she wanted to find her sister, she may not follow him. He didn’t have the patience for any emotional display from her should she decide to look for her sister herself if he did not clue her in.

“We travel East. The ones who destroyed your village are heading in that direction and I plan on intercepting them.”

Sesshomaru didn’t tell her that he had heard a few conversing before they struck her village, knew where they planned to march. He had no worries that he and the miko would not intercede their path tomorrow, possibly that night if he pushed the onna as the bandits forces were more than a few dozen, and many had been on foot.

He wondered if she would ask how he knew where the bandits were going, but she did not, saving him from having to waste his breath on a lie.

Kagome merely nodded at his response, not even thinking to question Sesshomaru and how he came about this knowledge. Honestly, the thought didn’t even cross her mind as her thoughts were filled with horrifying imaginings of finding Kikyo’s dead body. She shivered at the gruesome image, feeling cold and lonely.

Her mind threatened to relive the nightmare of last night, but then she stepped on a rock. She cried out in pained surprise, hopping on one foot as she held the injured appendage. It was then she noticed that she still wore her stained yukata and no shoes.

She saw that Sesshomaru and turned his head to gaze at her over his shoulder. She ignored his raised eye brow, blushing at her clumsiness, and inspected her heel. No blood. No broken skin. Luckily the sharp rock didn’t do much damage. The pain was already leaving her. She gingerly lowered her foot to the ground and took a tentative step. Slightly sore, but bearable.

She gazed at Sesshomaru sheepishly. “Um, do you think we could find a change of clothes for me? And maybe some shoes?”

Sesshomaru nodded, then turned and they continued on their way, Kagome’s eyes glued to the ground not wanting to injure herself further.

An hour later, Kagome’s stomach was growling loudly, but she didn’t complain, didn’t break the uncomfortable silence that had fallen between them after her request to find clothing. She knew her companion was not in a talkative mood. Actually, she wasn’t sure what mood he was in. Her fear of him since exiting the village had waned, but she was still slightly wary, put off by his uncommunicative attitude.

Her stomach roared again. Kagome put her hand sympathetically over her abdomen and continued walking.

Sesshomaru could hear her hunger, had heard the first small rumbles almost as soon as she stopped talking an hour ago. Even when she didn’t speak, he reflected, she was far from silent. He had waited for her to complain, to say something, but she didn’t. He was slightly surprised. Humans were known to complain, to voice their discomfort, yet she did not.

Wordlessly, he had lifted his head to scent the air, silently searching for nourishment for her. There weren’t many options as they were not near a village or in the woods where nature had an abundance of fruits and berries. They traversed on an abandoned dirt road, but he kept his senses open.

When he finally scented ningen another hour later, she had still not complained. In the distance, he saw a small dwelling and turned his steps in that direction.

Kagome had never been on this particular road before, never journeyed in this direction. In fact, she had hardly ever left her small village, so she was surprised when she saw a small hut and beside it, a garden. Her stomach rumbled again at the thought of sustenance. She pictured a small family living here and hoped they wouldn’t mind offering her something to eat and possibly a change of clothes.

As they moved closer to the hut, they heard a woman’s cry and a loud thump, the cry abruptly cut off. Without thinking, Kagome ran for the hut, passing Sesshomaru as she charged for the door flap, pulling it aside and froze in the doorway. Light filtered into the small wooden structure from a large window, sunlight falling upon the two figures on the ground.

A woman was flat on her back, with a groaning man on top. In contrast to his sharp, frantic movements that jarred her, the woman didn’t move, a red pool under her head steadily growing larger.

Kagome felt faint at the familiar red liquid. There was no mistaking it for what it was. Blood.

Her wide eyes moved to the grunting, heaving man, noting in her bewildered shock that the woman’s kimono was ripped, spread wide, revealing pale limbs. He was between them, lunging forward and back in small, quick, hard jerks. At first her mind couldn’t process the scene as it tried to protect her from further trauma. She moved back unconsciously. The man was unaware of her presence as he continued to lunge, retreat, lunge.

Her back connected with a solid mass. She recoiled, jerked back, and gazed up at Sesshomaru fearfully, at first not recognizing his familiar form. He was looking down at her silently with a bland expression. She cringed when the man behind her uttered a hoarse, drawn out cry. The knowledge of what was happening behind her came crashing down on her and she trembled not with fear, but anger.

She swung around and ran at the panting man who had collapsed on the still unmoving woman. She beat at his back, the back of his head, no, _pulling_ on his greasy hair, screaming, “Get off her, get off her!”

The brute roared in pain and rage, blindly swinging at her. Kagome fell back on her bottom, his forearm connecting with her body. He stood between the woman’s spread legs, his brown eyes eyeing her with displeasure, his hakama pooling at his feet while his flaccid member swung limply between his legs.

Kagome wanted to throw up at the sight, disgusted, livid. “How dare you,” she breathed heatedly.

The man laughed and took a step towards her, his hand going to his groin and stroked himself obscenely. “What’s this? Did you want me to fuck you too, girly? Come here.”

Fear mixed with her anger. She started to stand, self preservation kicking in. But before the man could grab her, a white blur moved past her on her right. She watched in dreaded fascination as Sesshomaru wrapped his hand around the man’s throat and suspended him in the air. Strangled sounds emanated from the man’s gaping mouth, his hands struggling to tear Sesshomaru’s steely grip from around his neck.

Kagome lurched to her feet as she watched the brute kick his feet in midair futilely.

“Sesshomaru, stop! What are you doing?”

Kagome watched in alarm as the brute’s face turned red, his eyes bulging.

Sesshomaru didn’t look at her as he asked, “Do you really want him to live?” He barely turned his head, just enough for one golden orb to pin her where she stood. “He had just murdered that woman and raped her corpse and would have raped you as well, miko.”

She gasped at his words, her eyes darting frantically to the unmoving woman. She moved closer, fell to her knees and reached for the fallen woman.

_Please, no. Please, no. Don’t be dead, don’t be—_

There was no pulse. Still in denial, Kagome lowered her head to the woman’s face, turned her cheek over the woman’s mouth and prayed to feel breath against her face. Nothing.

Kagome leaned back slowly, gazed down at the white face, the blood beneath the woman’s dark hair. This time, her mind did not take hold to try to protect her from the gruesome knowledge, the appalling sight of another dead body. Horror threatened to consume her until she head gurgling behind her. She turned her head and saw the man in Sesshomaru’s death grip, his face now blue and purple from lack of air, and felt nothing at first.

The man’s bare foot twitched, his hands growing less frantic as he tried to pry Sesshomaru’s hand loose. She felt a twinge, a need to save a life, but she hesitated. Anger set in, no, rage. How could she save the life of such a vile man? Another twinge of conscious. Life was precious. Kagome, kneeling beside the dead woman’s body, her eyes on the drama before her, was unable to move, to speak, as her morals clashed with raging emotions.

Sesshomaru sneered at the dying man as he dodged the stream of urine that pooled out of the ningen’s limp genitals. Then he spoke to the miko again. “Do you still wish me to spare his life?”

She didn’t respond.

Sesshomaru turned his head to gaze at her, his eyes falling on her face, looked into her eyes and saw her inner struggle, witnessed the moment the conflict ended. She did not stop him, did not ask him to release the ningen filth in his grasp, but she did turn her face away, trying to distance herself from the murder taking place before her.

He was having none of that.

“Don’t look away,” he told her harshly.

His sharp tone must have taken her by surprise, for she gasped, her eyes flying to his face. Again he asked, “Do you wish him to live?”

He saw her hesitate then her jaw clenched, her hands on her thighs curl into fists. Though she didn’t speak, he could see the answer in her eyes. His smile was slow in coming, but it stretched his lips in a wide, malicious smile, revealing his fangs. As the last signs of life left his victim, his gaze continued to capture hers, refusing to release her, wanting to share the moment with her, for her to know that she was just as a part of this as he was.

The silence was only punctured when he dropped the rapist’s lifeless body to the floor. The loud thump made her jump. Moving to kneel before her, Sesshomaru stroked Kagome’s cheek in an almost loving gesture, his eyes filled with pleasure at seeing the darkness he knew to be inside every living being shadow her eyes. “Aijin,” he whispered, his erection straining between his thighs.

He had killed a man, watched her watching him as the filth’s life slipped away, and witnessed a small, dark shadow enter her gaze. He wanted her in that moment, his body primed to plunge in her small, soft body. This was the moment he had been waited for, to see darkness taint her seemingly innocent face.

He reached for her, intending on taking her there, now, amongst the dead and bask in each other’s dark souls, but she flinched, crawled backwards away from him. He saw awareness of what she had done, what she had allowed him to do, filter through her eyes. He saw revulsion, aimed not towards him but herself.

He grinned at the internal struggle that warred inside her mind. Her face was expressive, every thought plain for him to see. She was horrified by her actions, her thoughts. She shook her head at him, denying the truth. He then knew that he still had a ways to go in corrupting her fully, but finally he was making some progress.

“Yes, aijin,” his voice pitched low in an intimate tone. “You let him die. You wanted him to die.”

She shook her head fiercely and whimpered. “Y-you’re wrong. I-I didn’t do anything. You killed him! It wasn’t me; it wasn’t me!”

Kagome felt sick, her stomach roweling. It was impossible for her to look away from the intimate look Sesshomaru leveled on her even though it sickened her further. He was enjoying this, enjoying her horror and pain.

Her throat seized when he said, “You didn’t stop me, didn’t try to protect his life. Aren’t you just as to blame?”

Oh, God, she was going to be sick.

She stood and ran outside, just making it out of the doorway before she fell to her knee and wrenched, dry heaving for there was nothing in her stomach to expel. Her body didn’t care. He was right, he was right. She had let that man die, had wanted him to die. The knowledge tore into her mind, her heart. Her whole being cried out in denial.

After long seconds of heaving, spittle dribbling down her chin, she was finally able to draw breath as her belly calmed, relaxed. Her middle hurt, cramped from her violent retching. Even her lungs hurt as she gasped in much needed breath, breath she had denied the vile man.

Her whole frame was trembling, tears rolling down her face when she heard a familiar, masculine voice, now emotionless, beside her. Her head turned to find Sesshomaru standing next to her.

“There is food in the hut, or if you prefer, in the fields. You’ll find clothing within along with sandals.” 

Kagome gazed up at him, appalled. Her voice hoarse, she asked, “How can you be so callous? A woman was just murdered and...and raped. How can you be so unfeeling?”

She watched as he knelt before her once more, his hand lifting towards her face. She flinched, but he wiped her chin, cleaning her face with his sleeve in a tender gesture.

“How does it feel allowing another human being to die?”

She looked away from him, her body trembling as she wrapped her arms around her sore middle, rocking herself in a vain attempt to warm her chilled body, to comfort herself. He was right. Oh, God, he was right! She had let another human die.

She was shocked when Sesshomaru pulled her into his arms, stroking her hair, down her back. She held onto him, needing, seeking comfort, but she should have known better. He nuzzled his face in her temple, whispered temptingly in her ear. “Just think how you’ll feel when your enemies lay dead at your feet.”

She fisted her hands in his shirt, dug her forehead into his chest and wondered the same thing, horrified at the implication, fearing her own reaction when that moment came. She had just learned something new about herself, something dark. It was a revelation she wasn’t sure she could live with.

She felt Sesshomaru kiss the top of her head, felt his smile. She did not feel comforted as he held her. There was no comfort to be had. Nothing was ever going to be the same, she knew with bleak certainty.


	8. Inner Struggle

Kagome sat straddling Sesshomaru’s hips, sitting on his crossed legs while he stroked her back in gentle, soothing motions as if he cared for her pain. Tears fell unchecked from her eyes though she made no sound. She knew it was a lie; he cared nothing for her. But that wasn’t totally true, was it? She could feel his erection prodding her, almost aligned with her most feminine place. She knew he wanted her physically, had known it for a while now, but had never really acknowledged his interest.

Her mind flashed back to her recent awareness of his physical desire for her. He had just dropped the lifeless body of the murdering rapist and gazed at her with purely sexual heat. She had felt revulsion at his obvious desire when violence and death had just taken place, two dead bodies lying inches from them.

She shuddered in renewed disgust as she felt Sesshomaru nuzzle her temple again. She pushed away from him. He easily released her, surprising her, and causing her to stumble slightly in her backwards escape.

Sesshomaru saw the unflattering look she shot his way, thinking she blamed him for the rapist’s death. He could feel his ire rise as he assumed she was attempting to yet again lay all the blame at his feet, but then she spoke, revealing her true thoughts.

“How can you think about...carnal relations at a time like this? A woman was just murdered then raped and yet you want to...to do a similar act with me while two bodies turn cold? You disgust me, you beast! I can’t believe I started to like you. I hate you! As if I’d ever consent to...to let someone like you touch me.”

Sesshomaru remained seated and gazed levelly at the distraught female, his ire replaced by boredom. He noted almost absently that she yet again shed tears. He was losing track of how many times she did so, not the least bit affected by the display. He could point out that he had smelled her interest in him physically in the past upon more than one occasion, but he tired of her prattle. It was time to get moving soon, and they still had things to do here.

“Change your clothing and find nourishment, aijin. We need to be on our way soon,” he said calmly as he rose to his feet. He turned towards the sun, ignoring Kagome, silently calculated the distance they had to travel and how fast they had to move to arrive on time.

Kagome stood staring at his angelic profile uncertainly. How could he act so cold and distant so easily, as if he could turn off his emotions without any visible effort? She looked away from his deceptively serene visage, wrapping her arms around her middle in a protective gesture and cupping her elbows. Her gaze landed on the hut, her mind’s eye reminding her of the bodies left inside.

Sorrow filled her heart at the unknown woman’s demise. Kagome couldn’t help but place some of the blame on herself. If only she had gotten there sooner. She could have saved that woman. She knew logically that the woman’s death was not her fault, but the guilt remained. She had to do something to make things right.

 _Other than allow her killer and rapist to die?_ her mind whispered to her, making her cringe in acknowledgment.

Don’t think about it.

She turned her mind away from the morbid thought and murmured, “We should bury her.”

Sesshomaru turned his head inquiringly in her direction, but she didn’t see it as she was looking at the door flap of the hut with a forlorn expression.

“She should be buried. It’s the right thing to do,” she said more to herself then her companion. She took a step towards the garden, remembering a small shed at the back of the hut, intending to find a shovel to dig a grave when Sesshomaru’s words stopped her in her tracks.

“It’s a waste of time, time we do not have. Have you forgotten that we are tracking the ones who destroyed your village, aijin?”

Ignoring his insistence at calling her aijin, Kagome continued forward, thinking angrily that Sesshomaru was being his usual callous self, and replied heatedly, “You may not have compassion for others, Sesshomaru, but let me inform you that I do.”

Suddenly he was before her, blocking her path. She glared up at him defiantly then pointed a finger at his chest. “I don’t care if you think there’s evil inside of me, and maybe there is because, yes, I did want that vile man to die, kami help me, but I also have good inside me, too! And no matter how you try, you can never take that away from me.”

Sesshomaru gazed down at her passively, his golden gaze meeting her unflinching brown eyes. He ignored her reference to having both good and evil inside of her. In his mind, what she thought was her ‘goodness’ was merely the binds her conscious clung to, a code she thought she had to follow. He didn’t have the time now to debate the topic with her. They had more pressing matters to take care of.

“If it is your wish to sacrifice the lives of others to concern yourself with the dead, then I will not stop you.” Then he stepped aside, allowing her to pass, though his gaze stayed on hers. He saw confusion enter her chocolate orbs.

“What do you mean? You speak in riddles, Sesshomaru.”

“Surely you are aware that if you persist in burying the dead, the bandits will march on another village before we can intercept them. Is it your wish for dozens or more to suffer and perish as your village and many others have?”

Kagome stared wide eyed at him, sucking in her breath sharply at the truth in his words.

Sesshomaru continued speaking as if his words were of no importance even though many lives were at stake depending on the action she chose to take. “By your shocked expression, I gather you did not already draw this conclusion. However, I wanted you to make this choice with full knowledge of what would happen should your focus delay on the dead instead of the living.”

“Why did you have to say it like that!” she cried, taking a step closer to him, a distraught expression upon her face as she clenched her fists to her chest.

“I only wanted to make up for what happened to her before she...” Kagome choked up before she could say the word, but Sesshomaru had no such problem.

“Died. Yes, aijin, she is dead. Quite brutally, in fact, but she is no longer living. Whatever happens to her body now is of no great consequence.”

“You...you...” Kagome had no words for his cruel words. “She was once a living human being, deserving of compassion and kindness. How can you speak so of the deceased?”

Ignoring her question as inconsequential, Sesshomaru asked again, “What is your choice then, aijin? Bury this woman who is beyond any aid and allow more to die, or reach your enemies before they reach their next destination? Truthfully, it makes little difference to me whichever you decide.”

Kagome didn’t know why it still shocked her that Sesshomaru held another’s life in such little regard. She believed him when he said he couldn’t care less if the bandits killed more innocent people. He truly was a beast, and it was only recently that she realized what sort of man she had bound herself to. No, not a man, a demon.

She gazed at him with perplexed sadness. “Is there any goodness inside of you, Sesshomaru? Any compassion at all?”

The man he had killed, the man she had let him kill, was vile and evil. Was Sesshomaru the same as the other? She couldn’t picture Sesshomaru raping a woman, especially not a corpse, but he murdered without remorse, cared so little, or more likely not at all, for the suffering of others. Was he really any different?

Sesshomaru didn’t answer her, merely stood like an immovable but beautiful statue as he continued to meet her gaze unflinchingly and without expression. She knew he waited her decision, and though it hurt her to leave the woman for animals to find, she could not let more innocent lives be destroyed. Not when she was able to prevent it.

“We’ll continue onwards to intercept the bandits. I won’t bury her,” Kagome said softly.

At least, she thought, that he had warned her what delay would mean to the bandits’ next targets instead of keeping silent and allowing her to stumble upon the knowledge too late. She could almost find comfort in the thought if she did not know that Sesshomaru would enjoy for her to condemn the village to blood and death.

Sesshomaru acknowledged her decision with a nod, internally knowing that she would have done so all along. She was not yet willing to ignore another’s plight. He still had a long way to go in corrupting her, but it was proving an amusing pass time.

“Change your clothing, aijin.”

She shuddered at the thought of walking into that hut, seeing the dead bodies. Already the image was filtering across her mind’s eye. She didn’t want to see it again with the naked eye. She had previously thought death was a way of life, but never before had she imagined such gruesome passings as she had been forced to witness recently. It was more than she could take.

“No.”

Not realizing she was referring more to walking in on the corpses than actually refusing new garments, Sesshomaru said, “Would it not be strange to continue walking around in sleeping attire? Besides, your yukata is filthy.”

Brown eyes lowered to her white sleeping garment and she felt faint at what she saw. Blood. It was everywhere. On the front of her clothes, her bare feet, and even on the hands she raised in front of her. Then she blinked frantic eyes and the blood was gone to be replaced by a few dirt stains.

She felt disoriented and lifted her hand to cover her left eye, breathing too shallowly.

Sesshomaru frowned at her odd behavior. “Aijin?”

Kagome stumbled away towards the hut. “I-I have to change.”

She fled, not knowing what had just happened, but needing desperately to get the yukata off, she entered the small hut with one minded purpose, forgetting for a moment what laid in wait inside.

She froze in the doorway, allowing the door flap to fall from lifeless fingers, unable to look away. Her eyes were too wide, showed too much white, as her gaze settled on the crumpled form of the man. Her mind replayed how Sesshomaru had choked the life out of him, how he had struggled to free himself from a ruthless clawed hand, and failed. She had allowed him to die. She was sickened by her part in his murder until her eyes unwillingly drifted over to the woman’s too white face.

Anger and loathing replaced her sorrow for the unknown man’s death. Why should he live after committing such a heinous act, her mind demanded with blood thirsty fierceness. She had no doubts that this was not the first time he had down something so unforgivable. She told herself she was being ridiculous for feeling bad for his demise; he had deserved to die. But then, a small part of her questioned, who had made her judge and executioner? Her mind at war over what she had allowed to occur, she fled into the next room, but she could not outrun her disquieting thoughts.

When she had stood amongst the wreckage of her village, being forced by Sesshomaru to once again see its destruction, she had thought naively that she had not wanted the ones responsible to meet a similar end. Now, oh, God, now she knew that to be a lie.

A part of her screamed for retribution, a shrill inner voice she had not heard at that dreadful time when her village lay destroyed, her home, family and friends forever stolen from this life...until now. Not until Sesshomaru had opened her eyes to the truth, a truth she had been unwilling to see or believe. His words filtered through her mind, words he had spoken in promise while they stood amongst the ashes of her life.

_“You have never tasted the pleasure of vengeance, and I will see to it that you do. I shall show you by killing every one of those bandits and you are going to watch me do it and know that the ones who have caused you such pain are gone from this world.”_

Back then she had been horrified at the implications of his vow, she still was, but now a seed of bloodlust had been planted. Part of her wanted those vile men who had taken everything from her to cease to breathe.

She paused in the next room, realizing that he had already done it. Sesshomaru had already shown her a taste of vengeance after he had dispatched the murdering rapist. However, that nameless man’s despicable acts had been against a stranger. How strong would her reaction be once Sesshomaru butchered the ones who had murdered her loved ones?

She swallowed convulsively, feeling her stomach churn. She feared the answer, shut her mind to it. She couldn’t, wouldn’t, think about that right now or she’d break down from the mental strain. Logic, emotions, and her moral code were at constant war, clouding her mind, her judgment.

She forced herself to focus on the task at hand, finding new garments. She refused to think about taking from the dead, and rummaged through the rooms until she found a simple dark purple, obviously worn, kimono with an ugly egg yellow obi to tie the garment in place. There was no hakama and haori she could find that would fit, and was forced to settle for the purple kimono, though it had been a long time since she had worn anything other than a miko’s garments.

She found dull white socks and remembered seeing a pair of straw sandals by the door in the main room. She also picked up a white ribbon, a woman’s hair tie, and unconsciously tied her hair back into the style all miko wore without even realizing it, habit and reflex taking over.

That finished, she left in search for the sandals, looking away from the corpses as she once again stepped around them. Still, as she put on the woman’s sandals before leaving the hut, she wished she could bury the woman, knowing she could not. She had to help the living now as the dead were beyond her help.

Her spirits low, she walked meekly towards Sesshomaru and said softly, “I’m ready to go now.”

Sesshomaru eyed her new garments for a moment before looking away from her and off into the distance once more. “You have yet to eat.”

“I’m not hungry anymore.”

At that moment, her stomach growled; though, she couldn’t stand the thought of eating right now.

Sesshomaru eyed her again. “Your stomach has more sense than you do. You need to keep up your strength if you want to reach the bandits in time.”

Unhappy that he was right, angry that he continued to push her, she cried, “Why can’t you just fly us to our destination or run with the speeds at your command? There is no need for such haste with your capabilities.”

He looked down his regal nose at her. “Just because you can do something, does not mean you always should.”

Kagome shook her head in bewilderment. ‘I don’t understand you.”

“If you always choose to take the easy road, you’ll never grow and adapt, and always be dependent.” His voice turned condescending. “One day’s worth of hard travel is no real hardship even for a ningen. Now stop arguing and find something to quiet your belly. We are wasting time, or have you changed your mind in wanting to intercept your enemies before they reached their next destination?”

Shooting him one last glare, she stormed off, first inside of the hut, some of her anger evaporating when she saw the bodies again, to fetch a bamboo water bottle and satchel. She was outside in minutes with her new supplies, first going to the small well she had noticed earlier to fill her bottle, then when that was finished, to the small garden and filled the satchel with vegetables. She was walking towards Sesshomaru with a slightly less hostile expression while munching on a radish, ignoring the small bits of dirt she hadn’t been able to brush off it.

They had only just continued on their way down the dirt road when Kagome thought to ask, “How do you plan on attacking the bandits’ forces? What if I get in the way? How am I supposed to defend myself?”

She was well aware Sesshomaru could easily kill them all, remembered how he had massacred the bandits attacking her at the Inukami’s shrine, but anything could happen while in the heat of battle.

“The best defense is a good offense.”

Kagome paled, knowing he meant that she would have to defend herself by attacking any would be assailants. Would she be forced to kill to save herself, she though bleakly.


	9. Vengeance

As they resumed their journey, Kagome fretted how she was to defend herself. Normally she had her bow and arrows if she were to leave the village to pick herbs in the nearby forest, or go on a short journey, but she had completely forgotten to grab them when her home had been burning around her. Truthfully, grabbing them hadn’t even entered her mind. The image of her obaasan’s unmoving form being crushed by a burning beam filtered across her mind. Pain lanced her heart. Everyone, everything she had ever known was gone, taken from her in one act of cruelty.

Loneliness and desolation crept inside her breast. But she wasn’t truly alone, was she? Kikyo was out there, she had to be. Kagome refused to believe her beloved sister was dead, not until she had solid evidence. Hope and purpose flooded her being. She mustn’t despair. Her sister needed her now, and Kagome would not fail her. 

Looking at Sesshomaru’s solid back, she couldn’t help but feel reassured by his presence, knowing he would keep her safe, but she didn’t want to have to be fully dependent on him. He was an Inugami bent on corrupting her soul. She had to remind herself not to become too trusting as she had begun to do since first meeting him. It was a mistake she would not make again.

“I need a quiver of arrows and a bow, Sesshomaru.”

Sesshomaru kept walking, his long legs eating up the ground easily and with little effort, but his pace was quick for her shorter stature, making her walk briskly. Her kimono was not making it easy for her as the fabric wrapped around her lower calves.

“I will see that you are provided with those items.”

He was outdistancing her. Damn kimono, she scowled internally. She tried to trot to catch up to him, but she tripped from the limited movements her garments allowed her and fell to her knees with a small cry. She caught herself on her hands and knees before she went sprawling face first in the dirt. Sesshomaru was kneeling before her instantly.

“It’s not my fault,” she defended herself mulishly in case he started accusing her of being a weak human and slowing them down. “My kimono is wrapped too tightly around my legs. I can’t keep—”

Her words stumbled to a halt when Sesshomaru shifted to reach around her and the sound of cloth ripping rent the air.

“What are you—oh,” Kagome said dumbly as she saw what he had done. He had ripped a slit up the left side of her kimono to mid-thigh, obviously meant to help her move around more freely. But when she saw her creamy, white leg bare for all to see, she flushed.

Surprisingly, Sesshomaru was kind and helped her back to her feet with a hand at her elbow.

“Thank you,” she murmured, gazing up at him shyly.

He merely nodded his head in acknowledgment before turning and leading her down the road once more. She quickened her pace until she stood alongside him. Admittedly, she chose to stand on his left so Sesshomaru couldn’t see how her widened steps revealed much of her naked flesh. Not that her precaution really helped. Every step she took with her left leg, revealed what she attempted to hide.

She was being ridiculous and she knew it, but she couldn’t help it. She peeked over at Sesshomaru to see if he was paying any attention to her, but she needn’t have worried, for his eyes stayed glued before them. Why she felt disappointed by that, she didn’t know, and silently berated herself.

Her eyes drifted to his hip where his two swords were strapped. She had never seen him draw even one of his weapons, but then, she thought ruefully, he didn’t exactly need them, did he? Not when his claws were just as sharp as any blade and that strange poison gas he could produce from those very claws. Recalling how effective that poison gas was sent a shiver down her spine. What other weapons of destruction did he have at his disposal, she wondered uneasily.

Though she was a miko, she had difficulty controlling her reiki. Her obasaan had attempted many times over the years to teach her as did her elder sister Kikyo, who was a truly powerful priestess, but something inside of her always seemed to block her attempts. The only real control she had was when she infused her powers into her arrows. It was by that means that which revealed just how great her powers were; however, she had never been able to do the things Kikyo was able to do, which only made Kagome feel more inadequate in comparison to her elder sibling.

She had always felt incompetent, as if she were a failure in her inability to control her innate miko energy. She glanced at Sesshomaru from the corner of her eye again. She knew with her limited experience that she could never hope to defeat such a powerful being. Dejectedly, she was sure Kikyo could hold her own against this Inugami. It seemed unfathomable that her sister could ever fail at anything she set her mind to.

She shook her head sharply. Why was she feeling sorry for herself, wasting her thoughts on her inadequacies and envying her sister? She had to focus on finding, and possibly saving, Kikyo. Kagome refused to think that her sister was not yet living. Kikyo was too strong, resilient, and resourceful to be killed by thugs. She was alive. Somewhere. And Kagome was determined to find her.

“You’re falling behind.”

Kagome quickly looked up to see that Sesshomaru was in fact several yards ahead of her. He was not waiting for her. His silver mane swung gently with his long strides that swiftly led him further away from her.

Without thinking, she ran to catch up, feeling unaccustomed air on her thigh. She glanced down quickly to investigate the cause, only to be reminded that her kimono was ripped. Don’t think about it. No one was around to see her.

She caught up to Sesshomaru, bur she needn’t fear his ogling her. He didn’t even spare her a glance. Why that miffed her was beyond her understanding. Resentfully, she recalled the only times he had ever made any sexual advances towards her person was when surrounded by violence. Bitterly, she thought he obviously didn’t desire her as a person, but became aroused by the sight of discord and mayhem, and she was a convenient body to rut with.

She clenched her fists. Sesshomaru didn’t see her. He didn’t even care about her, didn’t like her, viewed her only as a lowly human, undeserving of his regard.

Why should she care about his opinion of her? It shouldn’t matter. He was an Inugami bent on corrupting her, turning her into someone like him. She didn’t care. She didn’t.

But she did.

And she hated herself for that. Resented the fact that his opinion mattered when she meant so little in return.

She told herself firmly to harden her heart against him, to not let him inside and affect her so. This youkai was not going to beat her, not going to get what he wanted from her. No matter what darkness he revealed inside of her, she would still be Kagome, a good person. He wasn’t going to take that away from her!

A seed of doubt grew beside her determination. Or would he?

Hours later, the sun was setting, creating beautiful hues of yellow, orange, and red upon the horizon, while the sky darkened in shades of deep purple and blue. Not that Kagome could see much of the brilliance of the changing sky as she and Sesshomaru were in a groove of trees growing on either side of the road leading to a small village, the bandits’ target.

They were hiding in the tall branches of one of the many tress beside the dirt road, waiting, listening. Kagome was clinging to the bark while Sesshomaru balanced easily on the precarious branch they stood upon. Kagome wasn’t particularly afraid of heights, and even if she was, she was too lost in thought to really care about how high off the ground they were.

Trepidation had Kagome’s mind in turmoil over what was soon to happen, apprehension tightening her muscles as she tried to mold her body into the trunk of the tree she clung to, and wide eyes implored the man before her in one last effort to make him reconsider the action he was about to take.

Calm amber eyes returned her gaze without remorse. She knew he would not be swayed from his course. She was recalling when they had first took up position after Sesshomaru had wrapped an arm around her waist and jumped into a tree to land on this branch, how she had besought him to change his mind and find another way.

“Sesshomaru,” Kagome had hesitantly called to him after he had informed her what he was about to do, “I don’t think this is necessary.”

He had looked at her then. She saw and understood that look. His eyes seemed to glow eerily in the waning light, making them easy for her to locate and catch.

Quickly she had added, “I know we have a contract, and I’ll abide by it. But what you have in mind...please, Sesshomaru, I want to find my sister more than anything, but can’t you find another way?”

“And what other way do you have in mind? Do you know of another to get the information you desire?”

“Ask him?” she had replied hopefully.

Sesshomaru gave her a disbelieving stare, and Kagome had to admit it was justified.

“Well, can’t you just scare the information out of him?”

Kagome had no doubt, after the blood bath Sesshomaru intended, that any being left alive would be terrified of this Inugami. Probably scared enough to talk and give them whatever information they needed. Was Sesshomaru going to kill the unknown man after obtaining those answers? She had a sinking suspicion that he would, intended to. She couldn’t bring herself to ask.

Sesshomaru had surprised her by saying, “I will inquire first, but if he does not answer sufficiently, then it is his error.”

Kagome had swallowed as he had then looked at her with a predatory gaze. She never wanted him to come after her with that dead set determination. She was nowhere near capable enough to standing up against such a powerful, strong willed individual.

Now they stood waiting and it wasn’t long before Kagome heard the muffled voices of men, their heavy foot falls, and the sounds of horses approaching. Oh, God, this was going to be bad. She was trembling at what was to come, dreading witnessing more blood and death.

It was small comfort to realize the bloodlust she had felt a glimmer of earlier that day after the vile, murdering rapist had been slain was nowhere in sight now when retribution for her village was at hand. She felt sick. Men, admittedly bad men, were about to die, and she would be forced to witness their demise.

Sesshomaru was obviously wrong about her to even think she could find enjoyment in watching another’s life be stolen from him. Yes, she wanted them to pay for destroying her life and the lives of others, but not like this. As she had told him before, surrounded by the remains of her village, more death would not repair the damage inflicted or bring back her loved ones.

She wanted to stop him, had a strong urge to call off this whole charade.

_A burning beam falling on top of her grandmother, her village up in flames, the cries of the people she had known all her life echoing in her ears as they were brutally slain._

Her breath caught, a glimmer of darkness arose. She wanted them to pay. Oh, God, it was there, the bloodthirsty nature she had tried to deny was there yet again.

Kagome grabbed the side of her throbbing head, her eyes clenched tightly shut as the battle continued to rage on inside her mind. One minute she was appalled by what Sesshomaru meant to do, the next, her soul cried out for retribution for the lost.

Large hands cupped her cheeks, turned her face up to meet amber fire. Calm cat-like eyes gazed deeply into her own, forcing back the chaos inside her mind.

“Breathe, aijin.”

Kagome was panting, suffocating on her own tortured breathing without realizing it until that moment. She couldn’t breathe! Panic set in. Her air way closed up. She was choking. She was going to die!

She lifted desperate hands to wrap around Sesshomaru’s purple striped wrists in a wordless plea for aid, but he was already acting.

“Look at me, aijin,” he told her in a low, yet intense voice.

Panicked brown eyes looked into his desperately.

“You are hurting yourself. Calm down. Breathe. Watch me, follow my breathing.”

Sesshomaru parted his lips and demonstrated by exaggerating an inhalation of air through his mouth, his chest expanding greatly, then he loudly exhaled, letting the air leave his lungs, his chest deflating. He repeated the exercise, forcing Kagome to watch him.

Kagome tried to follow his exaggerated breaths, to match her breathing to Sesshomaru’s and after several long, agonizing seconds, she noticed it was becoming easier to breathe, the tightness in her chest easing, her air passage opening up.

“What happened?” she panted, still slightly out of breath, not understanding what had just happened to her.

Eyes still locked, he said, “You were like a rabbit caught by a wolf and panicked, scaring yourself.”

Kagome’s heart pounded as she realized he still held her face in his hands, the intensity in his amber gaze capturing her own, and she was helpless to look away. She tried to tell herself the fast beat of her pulse was from the after-effects of her panic attack and not caused by this man before her.

“Are you unhappy with the thought of your enemies dying? Have you forgotten already how it felt to see the life of an evil man come to an end?”

Kagome blinked, at first not processing his words, and when she did, she was able to break his captivating gaze and look away, but his hands angled her face, forcing her to meet his eyes again.

“I don’t understand you,” she murmured after a silent moment, helplessly drawn to the magnetism in his golden stare. “One second you’re helping me, almost being nice, but then you say or do something cruel or upsetting. It’s like you want to hurt me.”

The approaching party was drawing nearer, but neither seemed to hear, too busy with their intimate exchange. Or at least Kagome had forgotten almost everything with Sesshomaru so near.

Sesshomaru didn’t reply right away, but leaned down, and she was unable to move away when she felt his lips brush along hers, but not kissing her. She felt his mouth move as he whispered, “Am I being cruel?”

“Yes,” she whispered back, her lids growing heavy, her lips tingling as she yearned for a true kiss. She wasn’t one hundred percent sure if she was answering his question, or accepting his mouth on hers, though he made no move to do so.

She felt him step towards her, crowding her against the trunk of the tree, his hips and legs pinning her lower body to the bark. He brushed his lips across her mouth lightly, still not giving her the kiss she ached for, needed.

“Am I hurting you?” he asked, voice still low.

“Yes.”

What was she saying yes to? She wasn’t sure, her mind hazy.

Her body was alive with sexual tension. Her breasts felt too full, her nipples tightening, pressing against the fabric of her kimono, and between her thighs, she ached, felt strangely empty. Her hands rose to his chest and clenched his haori in her fists, while her body swayed towards the hard contours of his muscular frame.

He was so much taller than her, having to bend not only his head but half his back, and his shoulder width was so wide, she could see nothing save him, which made her feel small and fragile in comparison. The thought made her lower abdomen clench.

“Sesshomaru,” she whispered, her voice sounding strange to her, low and throaty.

She didn’t care. She leaned towards him and pressed her mouth firmly against his own, finally having the contact she craved.

A second later, a man’s loud laughter cut into the moment, freezing her muscles before she jerked back, or tried to. There was nowhere for her to go, pinned against the tree as she was by Sesshomaru’s heavy frame, hands on her face that refused to release her.

Their lips were no longer touching, but their eyes were locked. Her own were wide with trepidation, his cool and unyielding as he stepped back, away from her, his hands falling from her face to his sides.

Kagome was unable to look away from him even when she heard the bandits march beneath the tree they hid in. She watched as Sesshomaru raised a finger to his lips in a shushing gesture, but his lips were smiling.

“Watch,” he murmured, then he jumped, descending to the ground in a graceful leap.

As she watched him land in the middle of the party of men, their surprised cries and yells echoing into the night, she heard his voice whisper in her mind.

_Watch, or your sister’s life is forfeit, as will be yours, aijin._

Kagome sucked in her breath at Sesshomaru’s threat, forgetting that he could communicate to her mind, disconcerted by it. She was angered that he dared threaten her sister, but a second later she was unable to dwell on his warning when the men below demanded to know who Sesshomaru was.

“Who the hell are you,” a heavy set man demanded, moving his horse closer to Sesshomaru, as he looked down at him from his perch.

Sesshomaru ignored the other men on foot who surrounded him, grumbling and scowling in his direction. His focus was on the fat human motioning his horse to stop before him. An ugly scar marked his left cheek to curl around his upper lip, giving him a permanent snarl. Cruel eyes regarded him under bushy eye brows.

“Are you the leader here?” Sesshomaru asked coolly, unimpressed by this ningen’s show of bravado.

The ningen sneered at him. “I’ll be asking the questions here, now who the hell—”

“No, I am,” a strong voice interrupted the fat brute, another horse and rider moving through the crowd of men to stop beside the other rider in front of Sesshomaru.

He sat his horse with regal pride, his features handsome, long, wavy, dark hair falling over broad shoulders, and dark eyes regarding Sesshomaru with calm unconcern. It was obvious he did not view Sesshomaru as a threat.

The man wore black armor, a sword sheathed at his left hip, his left hand gripping the hilt in an unconscious gesture, obviously accustomed to the weapon being there, a warrior.

“Onigumo-sama, I can take care of this. There’s no need for you to—”

“Silence,” the man named Onigumo commanded, never once looking away from the black and white clad figure before him. The other quietened, immediately falling silent, though he scowled at the order.

“Who are you, and why do you interrupt our march?”

“To kill you all.”

Onigumo looked taken aback, his men shifting restlessly, gazing into the trees, wondering if they had been ambushed.

“Alone? Or do you have men yet hidden like frightened children among the trees?” Onigumo inquired, his right hand going to his sword hilt, which signaled his men to draw their weapons. The ominous sound of dozens of swords leaving their sheaths filled the night air.

Sesshomaru didn’t move, didn’t react in any way, seemingly unconcerned by the hostility surrounding him.

“You insult me. I do not need assistance taking out such weak and small numbered men.” 

Onigumo stared at Sesshomaru silently for a few seconds before tossing his head back, and roared with laughter. The other men joined in after a second’s hesitation, adding their voices in mocking glee.

“You hear that,” one man called, “there’s only one of him and more than two dozen of us and he thinks he can kill us alone?”

“Look out, Onigumo-sama,” another called, “this man obviously means business,” before he hooted with mirth.

Sesshomaru let them laugh, his gaze never leaving Onigumo, and waited for the ningen to meet his eyes once more. When he did, Sesshomaru murmured, “However, you will be the last to die. I yet require your services.”

Without waiting for the ningen to respond, Sesshomaru leaped, clawed hand outstretched as his palm collided with Onigumo’s face, tightening around it as his momentum unseated the ningen from his mount.

His dark head cracked against the unforgiving ground. Before anyone could react, Sesshomaru released Onigumo, raised his fist over his head and brought it down with crushing force as he shattered the ningen’s right kneecap, making it impossible for him to get up and escape while he dispatched his men.

Onigumo was still screaming as Sesshomaru stood and turned to gaze at the surprised, immobile ningen.

The fat, scarred man, the only other on horseback regained his senses first and cried, pointing his sword at Sesshomaru, “Kill him!”

Battle cries from the ningen filled the night as they charged him, swords raised.

Sesshomaru held his ground, his gaze upturned, meeting Kagome’s frightened, brown eyes as he lifted his right hand and swung his arm around his head. A green light manifested from his claws in a long whip, striking the five men closest to him.

Kagome watched in horrified fascination as limbs were severed, terrible gashes lacerated the bandit’s chests and abdomen, easily cutting through their armor. Blood soaked the ground, looking black in the darkness.

The men fell, unmoving. She saw the others hesitate in their mad rush towards Sesshomaru. The Inugami, however, did not pause. He moved towards the man a few feet in front of him and thrust his arm at the ningen’s chest. Kagome saw it emerged from out of the man’s back.

She made a small noise of distress, crouched on the branch, her back pressed into the trunk and wrapped her arms around her bent knees, her eyes clenched tightly shut.

_Open your eyes. Watch them fall. I do this for you._

Sesshomaru’s voice whispered in her mind and her eyes popped open to witness Sesshomaru claw out a bandit’s neck, black blood splattering his haori.

He was already turning to attack another who was running away, screaming, before his cry was cut off by an awful gurgling sound, then he fell unmoving upon the ground. Other men tried to run with fearful screams that were horrible to hear.

Kagome watched Sesshomaru use his green whip to corral them all together again, and she was unable to look away, distressed by his words as much as by the gory sight of the dead and dying.

“How can you say this is for me?” she asked in a horrified whisper as another man went down, blood spurting from his chest after Sesshomaru had wracked the ningen with his deadly claws. “This isn’t for me.” Her voice grew slightly louder, shrill. “It’s for you, for your ends. It’s because of the contract! Don’t you dare say this is for me!”

No, this can’t be her fault. He couldn’t lay the blame on her like that! It wasn’t her fault, it wasn’t her fault!

She didn’t realize she was saying it aloud over and over again as Sesshomaru stood before the scarred man still on horseback. “It’s not my fault, it’s not my fault, it’s not my fault.”

The horse’s shrill cry hurt her ears, her hands lifting to cover them in an effort to shut out the animal’s terrified cry. The horse reared sharply, and the heavy set man fell from his perch with a yell, and the horse bolted.

Sesshomaru heard her above the bandits’ cries.

 _Your enemies fall before me, crying out for mercy as your people had begged for their lives,_ Sesshomaru whispered in her mind as he walked towards the cringing bandit who tried to crawl backwards, away from his advance. Sesshomaru lifted his foot as the man bellowed in fear before he crushed his skull beneath his boot. _Don’t you feel elated that they are paying for their crimes? Look deeply inside your heart and you will know what I speak is the truth. Still waters run deep, aijin, and there is more to you than the kind hearted miko you pretend to be._

There were two men left and they were already yards away, screaming down the road. Sesshomaru ran after them, faster than her eyes could track. He beheaded one from behind, the ningen’s head rolling away from his body, while he ripped the spine from the other.

All was quiet then except Kagome’s heavy breathing as Sesshomaru walked sedately back, black blood staining his clothes. He stopped just under her tree and smiled up at her, showing fang. Even from her perch, she could see small splatters of black on his face. She shuddered in revulsion, horror in her expression as she returned his gaze.

“This is my gift to you,” he told her and turned away, walking towards the only bandit left alive.

Onigumo had crawled from where Sesshomaru had left him, but he was unable to get far with his shattered knee, unable to stand while every movement he made jarred his knee with agonizing pain, and his head pounded abhorrently. He had propped himself up on the trunk of a tree, and Sesshomaru was making his way towards him.

Kagome realized what he was about to do with sudden clarity, knew Sesshomaru’s last words were meant not for the deaths he had caused, but for the act he was about to commit on the helpless Onigumo.

Without thinking, she lunged forward, trying to get to her feet, and cried out, “Wait, Sesshomaru,” but she had forgotten that she was still high in a tree and lost her footing.

She felt strangely weightless for a split second, then she was screaming as she plummeted towards the ground.


	10. Sense of Betrayal

Kagome was falling, screaming as her hair whipped around her face as she plummeted towards the ground. Her hands were reaching towards the sky in helpless entreaty for something to grab onto to save her from death, but all she could grasp was air.

A voice echoing in her mind, whispering the name of the one who was both her salvation and tormentor.

_I am here, aijin._

Something collided with her right side. Arms wrapped around her back and under her legs, holding her tightly to a muscular frame, and Kagome clung to her savior with arms wound tightly around his neck, her face buried against his neck, his familiar scent invading her senses.

His feet landed gently on the ground, barely jostling her as the air around them settled.

Her mind whispered his name once more in thankfulness and something more.

She felt him lean down to nuzzle her head with his own, his nose against her temple.

_You’re safe. I would never allow any harm to come to you._

_You can hear me? Kagome asked silently in wonder._

_Your thoughts called to me, and I but answer._

Kagome opened her eyes, her head on his shoulder, as their eyes met from inches away. Golden eyes regarded her with the softest expression she had ever seen him gift her with. There was the familiar intense attraction mirrored in his amber depths, but it was different. What that difference was, she could not accurately name, but she reacted to it, felt herself relax and soften towards him.

 _How can that be?_ she inquired, referring to their mind exchange.

_We are connected, you and I, bonded together closer than any conventional ties._

Why did the thought of being connected to this man thrill her to her very core? Why did she suddenly yearn for his touch, to have a physical representation of the connection he spoke of?

 _You saved me again, Sesshomaru. You’re always saving me. At_ this moment in time, she didn’t think how strange it was to be conversing mind to mind, sharing each other’s thoughts. It seemed right. The intimacy around them heightened because of it.

At her words, he lowered his head towards her, and she responded instantly, eagerly accepting his advance without hesitation. As his lips settled over hers, she forgot about the stench of death, the dead bandits, and Onigumo. Kagome even forgot about the blood splatter on Sesshomaru’s face, the night and shadows from the surrounding trees an impenetrable darkness to her ningen eyes. Only his glowing amber eyes were visible to her gaze, until even they were extinguished when she closed her eyes when their lips met.

Sesshomaru tightened his arms around the willing onna, need tightening his body to unbearable levels. This ningen baffled him. One moment, she looked upon him with reproach for his actions, and the next, she wanted him, her eyes clear of any ill thoughts, and instead, reflecting acceptance and sexual desire.

Would he ever understand her? Her emotions were erratic, jumping from one to another in an instant without any warning. He saw clearly when revulsion had been overcome by desire. He thought, perhaps, she might be mentally deranged. Right now, it didn’t matter. The scent of spilt blood and Kagome’s desire intoxicated him, the feel of her in his arms, wanting him, while surrounded by her slain enemies, made his blood boil with pent up sexual need.

He could take her. She was obviously willing, clinging to him while he devoured her mouth. But he wanted more. He had not forgotten about their surroundings, was sure that she had not either. Taking her to the ground and sating his lust with her willing body wasn’t enough for him. He wanted, needed, to see her eyes light up with satisfaction, had to hear her words of praise for his help in exacting her revenge.

He shuddered with the strength of his desire when he remembered the look in her eyes after he had killed the murdering rapist hours ago. Though horror had been clear to see, a glimmer of satisfaction over the ningen filth’s death had lurked in her brown depths.

He wanted to see that look now, wanted to lay her compliant body on the bloody ground and see full awareness of where they were and what he had done for her in her eyes, yet still wanting him deep inside her. 

It never occurred to him that Kagome was not aroused by the knowledge that he had killed her enemies for her, but had forgotten everything but him, wanted only him, saw only him.

Sesshomaru broke away from her tempting mouth and gazed deeply into her eyes, his heart accelerating in anticipation for what he would see in her chocolate gaze. When she opened them, meeting his watchful stare, he witnessed how desire darkened her eyes nearly black, but it wasn’t enough.

Using the intimate link to speak directly to her mind, he whispered seductively, _You want me, here, now, don’t you, aijin?_

Kagome couldn’t understand why Sesshomaru had broken the kiss. Didn’t he understand her body was alive with sensation? She wanted him. She didn’t want him to stop. Ever since she had first met him, he had awakened a lust so strong she could think of nothing else, like now.

_Please, Sesshomaru..._

She tried to bring him back down to her mouth by burying her fingers in his hair and tugging his head down, but he didn’t budge and she moaned in denial of his restraint.

She heard him chuckle at her impatience.

Never before had she responded so strongly to him, believing her desire was aroused by the destruction around them. His cock thickened at the thought.

 _Tell me how it feels to taste the sweet nectar of revenge. It’s invigorating, satisfying, isn’t it, to know that the ones who have so wronged you are gone from this world. Can you smell it?_ Sesshomaru inhaled deeply. _Does the heady perfume of blood arouse your baser passions, aijin? Come, let us rejoice in your vengeance._

Kagome lay frozen in his arms as he placed her upon the ground, bent over her, encouraged her to lay flat on her back while he hovered over her. His finger lifted to her lips, rubbing the digit over her plump, bottom lip. She felt something cool and slick slide over her kiss swollen mouth.

_Taste your revenge._

He pushed his finger between her lips, the tip of his finger on her tongue, and she tasted iron. Her mind jumped to their first kiss, recognizing the flavor. Their blood exchange. Following that thought was an image of Sesshomaru’s hand emerging from a man’s back, black blood staining his claws. Another image of him emerged, walking towards her while she sat perched in a tree, his face splattered with black spots.

Unconsciously, her left hand lifted, her fingers brushing over his left cheek, feeling his warm skin, but also something slick, sticky. She could barely see his face in the darkness, but she knew what it was. Blood.

The taste of iron on her tongue, his whispered words replaying in her mind. _“Taste your revenge.”_

A wordless scream built in her mind, knowledge of what he was forcing her to lick, memory of the carnage that had just taken place hitting her mind as if she had truly hit the ground from her fall instead of being saved by Sesshomaru, the man she had mistaken for her savior. He was anything but.

Sesshomaru winced in surprise when a high pitched scream lanced through his mind, paining him with its intensity. He recoiled slightly under the onslaught, unable to hear himself think. Surprise caught him unaware, so he hardly reacted when the onna beneath him started to struggle beneath him, striking him with her fists, kicking out at him, spitting out his finger.

He had just opened his eyes to stare down at her panicked, angry, face, when he felt fierce pain against his chest. He growled when he realized that her hand had went inside his clothing to touch his bare chest and that she was burning him with her reiki.

He was about to retaliate when he felt both of her hands push against his chest, and her powers intensified, pink lightning sparking fiercely between them, before he was blasted off her, flown back and through the air by an explosion of pure energy.

His flesh burned from her purifying powers as he flipped in mid-flight, easily taking control of his body as he landed smoothly on his feet. He snarled, both from pent up desire and anger, baring his fangs.

Smoke was emanating from him, the scent of burned flesh raising to his nose, and with eyes unaffected by the darkness, he saw two small hand prints burned into his chest.

Kagome was surprised by her flash of spiritual powers, but more so by actually repelling Sesshomaru from her person, but other emotions quickly overcame her shock.

She had been livid to realize that once again Sesshomaru had only desired her, not for herself, but because of bloodlust, and she had been revolted to learn that he had thought her capable of being aroused by the blood on his hands.

Kagome’s shivered, grimacing in remembrance at the taste of copper in her mouth. Then knowledge of whose blood it had been had her throat constricting, warning her seconds before she turned on her hands and knees and vomited.

All the while her stomach heaved painfully, her mind cried out at the betrayal she felt towards the Inugami. How could he? Though she knew her feelings were irrational, but despite her best efforts, she found she still cared more than she should about Sesshomaru, cared far too much about his opinion of her. Why did he think so little of her? Was it merely because she was human? A miko?

However, the most predominant thought was that, in her mind, he had betrayed her. And she hated him.

Sesshomaru had taken a step towards the miko, unsure if he meant to strike her for attacking him, or continuing where they had left off, but he was halted in his step when he saw her vomiting. Unblinking, red eyes gazed at her heaving back as he breathed heavily, finally regaining control of himself after one last, deep exhale, and he blinked his eyes, the red receding back to his natural amber hue.

His passions once more banked, he walked sedately over to the trembling onna when her violent hurls had ceased. He would check on her wellbeing, then they had unfinished business with their friend, Onigumo. As he approached, he had yet to realize that the knife cut both ways, that his need to teach her the pleasures of revenge had just backfired on him.


	11. Conflict

Sesshomaru stopped beside her, looking down at the pitiful onna for a brief moment in contemplation. She looked so small and fragile, hunched over in a small ball, her form trembling ever so slightly. He did not understand what had just happened. She had wanted him, pleading with him to continue, but then she attacked him, forcing him off of her. Was she nothing more than a tease? Leading a male on, then denying him in the next breath? He felt his irritation spike at the thought. He would not be led on like this then be forced to stop because she found it amusing to arouse a man before denying him gratification.

Her seemingly defensive posture angered him, because he believed her actions were a masquerade, a silent plea for sympathy for him not to retaliate for her attack on his person. He hadn’t realized that this miko would use such feminine wiles against him, having thought she was...pure? No, he inwardly sneered, congratulating her on her superb performance, for she had been able to deceive him without his conscious knowledge that she might just be a little different from other humans.

How easily she had played him for a fool, and he was angry at her beyond measure for falling for her innocent visage and demeanor. Never again would he make that mistake, he silently vowed as he knelt down beside her. He couldn’t see her face as her hair had spilled over her shoulders, obscuring his gaze in a black, silky shroud.     

Though he was still smarting over the burns she gave him, he made no move to physically strike her, but his words were far from kind.

“Cease this pitiful display. Your theatrics will not work on me.”

Kagome froze, having been unaware that he knelt beside her, too lost in her own tortured thoughts. “I don’t know what you’re talking about,” she said in slight confusion, her mind too filled with thoughts of her stupidity for succumbing to this Inugami to fully focus on his meaning.

Sesshomaru scowled at her, though she did not see it. He didn’t have the patience for her games. “You think to act the wounded animal so as not to receive reprisal from me for having purposely attacked me after teasing me with your body. Listen well, _miko_ , the next time you beg for my touch and try to stop me after arousing me, I will give you what you begged for no matter how much you fight me.”

Kagome couldn’t think for a long moment as she turned her head to gaze at Sesshomaru through the veil of her long tresses with wide, disbelieving eyes.

“You think I threw myself at you, only to deny you after you were aroused,” she asked in a disbelieving whisper. She couldn’t believe he had actually jumped to that conclusion.

Sesshomaru sneered again, and this time she saw it, if barely due to the darkness around them. However, his white fang was hard to miss as he curled his upper lip, the pearly sheen shining in the blackness.

“Still playing the victim, aijin? It’s no use to continue this charade when I am fully aware of it. You wanted me, you can’t deny it. I know when a female desires me, and you reeked of sexual arousal.”

“You’re wrong!” she cried. “I wasn’t teasing you.”

“Then care to explain why one second you are encouraging my advances, then the next, pushing me away—no, attacking me, to get me off of you?”

 _How can he not know?_ she silently questioned, surprised by his ignorance, before anger flashed in her eyes, replacing the confusion.

“You thought I was aroused by the bloodshed, didn’t you? That’s not the reason at all. It wasn’t until you shoved your bloody finger in my mouth that I wanted to get away from you. That’s disgusting! As if I could ever be alright with what you did.”

It was Sesshomaru’s turn to be dumbstruck. He replayed the previous scene in his mind, recalling the exact moment he heard a piercing cry of horror in his mind, and came to the realization that, that cry had come from Kagome, from her revulsion at being forced to lick the blood of her enemy from his finger. Then followed the sharp pain of her reiki burning him, and lastly of her vomiting into the ground.

Sesshomaru gazed intently into her brown eyes, needing to see if what she said was true. He reached towards her, intending to brush aside her hair so he could see the expression in her eyes better, but she flinched away from him.

Needing his answers, not having time for her childish games, he growled, “Remove your hair from your eyes so that I may look into them, or I shall do it for you.”

Obeying immediately, not wishing for his bloodied hands to touch her again, she pushed her hair behind her ears and faced him defiantly. Let him see the truth for himself if that’s what he wished. Kagome could still remember the taste of blood on her tongue, felt the sticky liquid, and felt her throat convulse again, but she swallowed, not wanting to dry heave again. Her stomach was still cramping up from last time.

Sesshomaru saw her reaction, witnessed her revulsion and horror of his actions in her expressive gaze, knew she told the truth. How can this be? How could he have been so wrong? If it wasn’t because of their deaths, then why had she desired him in the first place? He didn’t understand her.

“Aijin...” began Sesshomaru, intending to find out the answer to his question, but she interrupted him.

“Don’t you dare call me that!” Kagome cried, angered at his gall. “It implies you care for me, and we both know you don’t, not even a little. If you did, then you’d accept me for the way I am and not try to change me into someone you think I should be.”

Sesshomaru paused at her words, noting how hurt she was. He felt a strange pang in his chest. He ignored it, thinking it was from his wounds that were going to take a few days for him to heal. Spiritual burns always took longer than any other injury to recover from as the pure energy sought to purify his flesh.

Seeing how upset she was, he tried to calm her down, not wanting a hysterical woman on his hands. “Calm yourself. You are overreacting.”

She made a rude noise in the back of her throat, but he ignored it. “If you were not aroused by the blood, then why were you?”

Sesshomaru believed her now, knew that his previous thoughts were misconceptions. Though he was relieved to know that she wasn’t playing some game with him, he now had no idea what had prompted her desire. Her confession stopped the breath in his lungs.

Without thinking, her emotions high, she said in a loud voice, “Because of you! And how you made me feel.”

Conflicting emotions warred inside his mind. By her admission, it was obvious she meant she had reacted to him as a man, had wanted him for no other reason than for himself. Then his mind took another turn.

“You mean lust.” He chuckled darkly, almost relieved. “You wanted me even though I was coated in the blood of your enemies.” Then he frowned at her, ignoring her gaping mouth. “So you only had issue with tasting blood, but not rutting amongst the dead? I will not make the same mistake twice, aijin.” He whispered to her seductively, leaning towards her, wishing to kiss her and reclaim the moment not long ago. His blood heated at the thought of taking her, here, now, with the carnage around them.

If she didn’t want to lick the blood off his person, he wouldn’t force her, but he pictured her bloodstained, her creamy, white skin splattered crimson, and he would rub the sticky substance into her skin, licking it off every inch of her.

Kagome saw him lean closer, knew from the expression in his glowing gaze what he was about to do, and she was repulsed. She scrambled backwards, away from him, yelling, “Don’t touch me!” From a few feet away, she pointed a shaking finger at him, her anger at him growing exponentially. “Stop twisting my words! That’s not what I meant. I did not want to...to...rut,” she stuttered on the word, before continuing angrily, “surrounded by the people you killed. I forgot all about where we were and what you had done. Sometimes I feel connected to you, think you actually care about me, and cherish me and I liked you. I _liked_ you and wanted to be closer to you,” she all but whispered, her heart breaking all over again.

Kagome felt like crying. God, she felt so gullible, so naive for believing for one second that this Inugami actually cared for her. She hated revealing so much of her stupidity, but she couldn’t let him continue thinking that she had been aroused by anything other than Sesshomaru as a man she admired, or thought she had. But it was all a terrible lie!

Sesshomaru felt his heart skip a beat at her admission, felt it speed up, then clench uncomfortably. He recalled all the times she had responded to him, every time she had looked at him with a soft expression, and know he knew why. It wasn’t because she was submitting to both of their passions, but because she had cared about him, had seen him as a man she felt attached to.

He had been cruel to her, forced her to stand in the burned remains of her village, said hurtful things to her, made her watch him kill dozens of men, and yet she still accepted him as he was. Why did the thought make breathing painful? There was a strange constricting sensation where his heart should be. He clenched his hands into fists.

Attempting to belittle her feelings, her efforts to try and get to know him and accept him for who he was, he said snidely, “The man you think you like is not the real me. It’s nothing more than a delusion your mind created. You don’t know me, not the real me.”

She made an impressive sneer. “I am aware of that. Everything I thought I knew about you is a lie. You’re nothing but a manipulating monster, thinking only about himself. Who could ever love such a selfish being like you?!”

For some unfathomable reason, his chest tightened at her words. Why should he care if no one loved him, accepted him? He had never before needed the opinion of others to dictate how he lived or viewed himself. The only opinion that mattered was his own. Why then when she looked at him thusly, instead of gifting him with her usual tentative smile, caused his heart to ache uncomfortably?

Growling from the hectic emotions he couldn’t name let alone begin to understand, he stood up abruptly, startling the onna. He didn’t care.

“Rise. We have unfinished business.”

Then he turned away and started towards Onigumo who was slumped against a tree, unmoving. Sesshomaru was looking forward to taking out his aggravation on the bandit, and hopefully forget the disquieting thoughts the miko had risen in him.


	12. Failure

Sesshomaru stood over the unconscious Onigumo, face impassive, as he once more took control of himself, methodically discarding all irrational thoughts concerning the miko. He reinforced his resolve, his very being, refusing to be angered any longer about the strange feelings he had just felt in her presence. He reminded himself of who he was, his beliefs, and why he tolerated the onna’s existence. They had a contract, and this human filth before him was to be another key element in his schemes.

The Inugami refused to even consider the thought that he had failed in his endeavors in teaching his disillusioned companion how sweet revenge was, to punish those who have so wronged you. He had seen firsthand how she had reacted to the death of the human filth that had killed then raped a woman’s corpse. She had been vengefully happy of his demise.

Sesshomaru told himself that the miko had felt the same dark satisfaction when he had cut down the bandits; however, since she was unaccustomed to how messy death could be, she was merely in shock. How many times had he already seen her in such a state? Surely it was brought on by her false sense of morality that warred with her true human tendency to destroy. He was confident once she overcame her inner struggle, accepting who she really was, a greedy, self-serving mortal, she would thank him for freeing her of the chains that bound her.

A menacing gleam entered his golden gaze as he perused the unsuspecting bandit yet living, who would be the next key to unlock the onna from her prison.

Eager to begin, Sesshomaru brought the heel of his boot down on Onigumo’s shattered knee. The bandit awoke with a loud shout, his hands instantly clutching his upper thigh in agony, his back bowed against the tree he rested against.

At Onigumo’s curses, Sesshomaru merely removed his boot and continued looking down at the pitiful human with blatant disregard to his suffering.

Kagome lunged to her feet where Sesshomaru had left her at Onigumo’s yell, the pain in his voice sickening her. She rushed to Sesshomaru’s side with conflicted feelings, her hands intertwined before her stomach in a tight grip.

Seeing the bandit clutch his injured knee, she knew without a doubt that Sesshomaru had hurt him. She turned to him with an angry, upset expression, her hands lowered to her sides in tight fists as she regarded the Inugami.

“Sesshomaru! Did you have to hurt him? We haven’t even started questioning him yet.”

His amber gaze impaled her, his expression inscrutable. “There would have been no questioning had he remained unconscious.”

Standing her ground, though her knees trembled at his unnerving gaze, she shot back, “You didn’t have to hurt him to wake him up.”

“Hn.”

Both of their gazes lowered to Onigumo when he began to speak, his voice deep and pleasing to the ear, even laced with pain as it was now.

“Come to kill me, demon?” Onigumo gazed around Sesshomaru, the moon lighting the dirt road, making it easier to see the multiple, unmoving bodies of his men. “I should have known from the very beginning by your strange coloring that you are no man.”

Before either could reply, he looked back up at Sesshomaru, showing no fear, which surprised Kagome. Here he lay, injured and in agony, knowing what Sesshomaru was and that he had no chance of ever defeating the powerful youkai, but he was unafraid.

“No, I doubt it’s my death you seek, at least not yet, or I would have been the first to perish. You came after me, separated me from my men, and wounded me so that I could not hope to escape. I ask again, what do you want with me, youkai?”

Before Sesshomaru could answer, Kagome took a small step forward, saying quickly, “We just have a few questions to ask you.”

Sesshomaru shot her a displeased look from the corner of his eye, which she ignored.

Onigumo’s gaze shifted to meet her eyes. The total confidence he exuded in the face of imminent death was not something she expected to see. Did this man truly not fear Sesshomaru, or was he a fool?

“Woman, who might you be? You travel with this demon?”

Onigumo’s gaze traveled over her face and down her body in a quick but thorough appraisal, before meeting her eyes once more. Kagome couldn’t miss the masculine interest he regarded her with. Even severely injured, he admired her, and she flushed.  

“You will be answering my questions, not voicing any. If you do not respond correctly, you will regret it,” Sesshomaru warned before Kagome could speak, effectively regaining Onigumo’s attention.

“Torture before death, is it?” inquired Onigumo unimpressed.

Kagome had a strong urge to reprimand the bandit, to tell him not to be a fool and antagonize Sesshomaru if he didn’t want to be hurt further, but she bit her tongue. Why should she care if this evil man was in pain? He had taken everything from her, and possibly had Kikyo hidden somewhere. However, she found herself shedding away from forcing the answers out of this man. Killing another in cold blood was awful enough, but torture? No, no one deserved such a fate. Not even a vile man such as Onigumo.

She silently begged him to stop antagonizing Sesshomaru.

If she feared Sesshomaru’s response to Onigumo’s disrespect, he did not react, merely stood stature still, silent. But when Onigumo looked at her for his answer, she couldn’t meet his gaze, dropping her eyes to the ground from guilt and shame.

Onigumo nodded as if his question had been answered, before turning his attention back to Sesshomaru.

“In exchange for the information you seek, my life is to be spared.”

Kagome’s wide eyes shot up, gaping at Onigumo’s audacity.

“You are in no position to barter for anything, ningen,” Sesshomaru said in a low, menacing tone, driving his heel brutally into the bandit’s shattered knee once more, pulverizing the joint until there would be no hope for the human to ever fully recover and gain the use of his leg again.

Kagome cringed violently at the agonized yell Onigumo expelled on a sharp exhale, sucking in his next breath for an animalistic sound of unbearable pain that followed afterwards. It sent chills down her spine, rose goose bumps on her arms, and the hair on the back of her neck to stand up. Her nerves were shot. There was no way she could let this go on, allow this to happen before her eyes, and do _nothing_.

“Sesshomaru, please—“ Kagome began in a tortured whisper.

“Silence, miko.”

Onigumo gazed up at her through pain filled eyes. “A miko? If that is true, then why do you stand by and allow this monster free reign and not stop him? Why do you travel with him?”

Kagome looked away from the condemning accusation in Onigumo’s brown eyes, biting her bottom lip as once again guilt and shame overcame her. How can this bandit not judge her when she had done nothing to prevent the slaughter?

She shook her head sharply as she said loudly in anger, almost defensively, “None of this would have happened if it hadn’t been for you and your men destroying my village. You killed everyone! Helpless villagers who begged for mercy. So don’t you dare look at me like this is my fault!”

Kagome lifted her hands to either side of her head as if in pain. This wasn’t her fault! Not her fault.

Sesshomaru had been the one to kill those men, and it had been Onigumo who had set the Inugami on this path. Why did they both blame her for what happened?

She hadn’t killed that murdering rapist back at the small farm. She didn’t kill Onigumo’s men.

 _Stop blaming me!_ she shouted silently, helplessly, to the memories of their accusations running unchecked through her mind, unable to bear the burden of so many lives on her conscious.

_Then who is to blame, aijin? You could have stopped me at any time if you were so averse to such measures._

Kagome’s head pounded as she replied mentally to Sesshomaru’s accusation. _As if I had a choice in the matter. You took that away from me because of the contract. This isn’t my fault!_

_A contract you agreed to._

Kagome swallowed with difficulty at the reminder, but quickly rallied her wits. _I had no idea what I was getting myself into, and you know it._

Kagome heard his malicious chuckle resound in her mind, warning her seconds before he uttered the condemning words, _You were made perfectly aware that if you did not wish to abide by our contract, all you had to do was say so, forsaking your life. If you had done that, then none of this would have happened._

Her heart beat painfully in her chest. Before she could sink into despair, Onigumo answered her previous accusation to him, interrupting her mental conversation, her torment.

“Then it’s revenge you seek? I was unaware a shrine maiden could have such malicious tendencies.”

“You’re wrong. I only want to find my sister!” Kagome defended herself on a sob.

 _I only wanted to find Kikyo_ , she cried out mentally to Sesshomaru. Yes, everything had been for her sister. How could she die, allowing Sesshomaru to murder her if she did not follow their contract, and forsake Kikyo?

_Have you forgotten already, aijin? You were unaware of your sister’s peril when we first met. You chose life over death that fateful day._

Before she could respond, though it was doubtful she could after Sesshomaru had so firmly put her in her place, Onigumo responded to her cry concerning her sister.

“Onna, if you had not noticed, I traveled with no woman, so I have no idea where she might be. Perhaps she fled to meet a lover? In any case, it is no matter to me. You waste both of our time here.”

Again she was unable to respond as Sesshomaru whispered in her mind. It seemed to her as if she were being attacked from both sides. She was having a difficult time not collapsing in a pitiful heap, and hugging herself defensively for comfort.

_Don’t despair, aijin. It is only natural to want to live. You torture yourself needlessly. The men who have died were scum of humanity. Would you truly offer up your life for theirs?_

Tears glazed her eyes, so she lowered her head, hiding behind her bangs. Why did he keep doing this to her? First Sesshomaru would act purposefully cruel, then he would backtrack and offer comfort. Why did she yearn to turn to him and bury her head against his chest, allow him to shelter her, as she cried her heart out? This need made her angry to such a degree that most of her anguish was dispelled by the fire of her hatred, which only grew for this youkai masquerading as a man. Now she was able to meet Onigumo’s eyes squarely, even if they were still shiny with unshed tears.

“My sister was in a village very near to the one you had just destroyed. That village, too, was laid to dust. You had to have seen her. She is a miko like me. Surely you would have noticed her.”

Onigumo regarded her coolly. Though in immeasurable pain, he still looked down on her, as if she was acting like an overemotional woman, which only made her ire flare higher.

“I saw no miko, and I assure you, if my men had seen such a woman, believe me, I would have been made aware.”

“Liar! She was there! Where is she? What have you done with her?”

“If you doubt my sincerity,” he mocked her with a smile, “then have you checked the corpses? Perhaps your demon here would be able to sniff her out should she be there.”

His callousness appalled Kagome. No wonder Sesshomaru thought everyone was evil at heart with people like Onigumo running around.

She gritted her teeth as she said, “She wasn’t there, so she has to be alive. Now where is she!? I’ve had enough of your lies.”

He had to be lying. Because if he wasn’t, then were was Kikyo?

Onigumo’s only answer was a raise of his brow; his expression clearly stated what he thought of her mind, slow.

Kagome saw Sesshomaru raise his arm from the corner of her eye, curling it towards his body, then swinging it towards Onigumo. It happened so fast, she almost couldn’t believe her eyes. Four thin, green slivers of light, embedded themselves in Onigumo’s right shoulder, easily burning through armor and cloth and into his flesh if his yells of agony were anything to go by.

“Wrong answer,” Sesshomaru intoned.

“Goddammit! I said I don’t know!”

“Sesshomaru…what…what did you do?” whispered Kagome as the smell of burning flesh filtered to her nose, and a strange low, sizzling sound emanated from the wounds.

Somehow, the Inugami heard her over Onigumo’s wails.

“Concentrated acid from my claws. Normally it would erode anything it came into contact with, but I am capable of controlling how powerful the acid is. Do not worry. He will not die from theses wounds; however, human flesh is so very weak. My strike easily went straight through his body.”

Then Sesshomaru pointed a finger at the bandit’s injured leg, and one single sliver of light shot through his thigh in answer to Onigumo’s continual denials.

“For god’s sake, stop! I’m telling you the truth! I never saw a priestess. None of my men commented on her presence, and I’m sure they would have, so she couldn’t have been there!”

Kagome hastily put a hand to Sesshomaru’s arm when he moved to hurt Onigumo again, stopping him. “Wait! I think he’s telling us the truth! So please, stop hurting him already.”

Sesshomaru gazed at her from the corner of his eye, saw that she cried, for this bandit who was supposed to be her enemy. He was angered by her sorrow, that she dared protect the human. Onigumo was supposed to be her enemy, yet she acted as if it was he, Sesshomaru, in the wrong.

Unaware of Sesshomaru’s thoughts, Kagome silently cried as she held onto his muscular arm, but her tears weren’t brought on by Sesshomaru’s heinous acts against Onigumo—though her stomach rolled and her conscious was continuously assaulted by her strong sense of morality. No, she wept for Kikyo, fearing for her elder sister, not knowing where she was, if she was harmed or not.

She desperately tried to tell herself that Kikyo was well, that since she obviously had not been at the neighboring village, then she surely must yet live.

“You defend him?” grated Sesshomaru.  

Kagome tried to blink away her tears. “There’s no point in harming him if he is telling the truth, which I believe he is.”

Sesshomaru lowered his arm, and Kagome promptly released him.

His amber gaze then returned to Onigumo who seemed on the verge of unconsciousness, though he fought to remain aware.

“Since you know not where the other miko is, your usefulness has come to an end.”

When Sesshomaru again raised his deadly claws, Kagome swallowed audibly, knowing what he meant to do. Should she stop him? She gazed down at Onigumo and inadvertently caught his eye. He must have seen her uncertainty.  

“Would you really stand by and allow this youkai to murder me in cold blood, while I am unable to defend myself? Are you so blood thirsty then?”

“Silence,” Sesshomaru warned.

Onigumo ignored him, not talking his eyes from Kagome. “No, I don’t think you are—“ His words ended on a tortured gasp when Sesshomaru kicked him in the stomach hard enough to steal his breath, and making drawing another next to impossible, as Onigumo coughed uncontrollably when he tried to fill his lungs with air.

Yet still he was somehow capable of speech as he gritted out, “Would you show a defenseless man no mercy, miko?”

“As you showed mercy to hundreds of defenseless women and children? I shall first rip out your sly tongue before showing you the mercy you gave them,” Sesshomaru said, bending forward, hand out reached to do just that, for he spoke no idle threats.

Eyes going impossibly wide, Kagome cried out, “Stop!” and once again wrapped her arms around his in an attempt to halt his brutal actions.

“Miko,” he grated out between clenched teeth, eyes narrowed on her face that she dared defy him before another.

“You can’t just kill him.”

Sesshomaru sneered in answer.

“I can’t just sit by and let you kill a defenseless man. Onigumo is right about that. Hasn’t there been enough blood shed?”

“Our contract—“

Kagome interrupted him, declaring loudly, “You failed!”

 Sesshomaru gazed at her uncomprehendingly, pausing in reaching for Onigumo.

“I realize now that, yes, I wanted them to pay for what they had done to my village, but not by killing them! I want them all to be brought to justice and be punished by the law. If I went out seeking their death in revenge, then that would make me just like them. I would be the same as the ones who took everything from me, and I don’t want that. I don’t!”

There was no way for Sesshomaru to declare her liar, for he saw conviction blazing strongly in her brown eyes, and it angered him that he had _failed_. What was it about this onna? He couldn’t understand her. His confusion only angered him more, so after shooting both humans a dirty look, he stepped out of Kagome’s hold and turned his back on them both as he began walking away.

Kagome stood dumbfounded. She had actually stopped him. Then she called, “Wait! Where are you going, Sesshomaru?”

“We have the answers you sought. We are leaving.” He kept walking.

When Kagome turned to follow, Onigumo spoke up in a faint voice. “Do you mean to abandon me, miko? If you turn your back and let wild animals devour me, or anything else that may happen upon me that wishes me ill, it’s the same as if you yourself had killed me.”

Guilt wracked Kagome. She hated having to help this vile man, but her conscious wouldn’t allow her to walk away from him.

“I’ll be right back,” she promised, before running after Sesshomaru’s retreating form without giving Onigumo time to respond.

“Wait, Sesshomaru!”

He didn’t, but she finally caught up with him. She wanted to put her hand on his arm and halt him, but she had already done that twice in less than ten minutes, and she thought she had run out of luck when it came to Sesshomaru. She could tell he was far from happy with her, not by expression, but by his refusal to wait for her to catch up to him and by how he ignored her completely.

“Um…Sesshomaru?”

Still no response.

“I think we should take Onigumo to the village for healing.”

“No.”

Finally, a response, if not what she wanted to hear.

“We can’t just leave him to die,” she said loudly.

He kept walking, and Kagome knew he would not be swayed by her words.

She stopped in the middle of the road, refused to budge, even as he continued onwards. Kagome started to feel uncertain if he would stop, but he did abruptly, though he did not turn to face her. She almost breathed a sigh of relief.

“Come.”

“No.”

“Now is not the time for your games,” he warned, his tone sending shivers of unease down her spine.

“Another’s life is no game,” she replied slowly.

“Is the life of the one who murdered your loved ones and destroyed your home worth so much to you?”

When he put it like that, Kagome winced, but she did not bend.

“We have to help him. It’s the right thing to do.”

Sesshomaru was silent for several long seconds. “You have two choices, onna. Come with me, or stay with Onigumo.”

An ultimatum? Kagome blinked in confusion.

“But…our contract…” she replied uncertainly. Did he mean to abandon her if she continued to stand her ground?

“Make your choice quickly.”

Angered by his attitude, she said firmly, her voice like steel, “I’m staying.” Without waiting for his answer, she turned from him, and ran back to Onigumo.

To say Sesshomaru was pissed was an understatement, that she dared choose Onigumo over him, the man who had ordered her village’s destruction, over him, made him see red. He began walking once more, leaving both ningen without a backwards glance.

“You’ve returned,” Onigumo greeted her with a small, relieved smile.

Kagome tried to push her anger and upset aside as she knelt beside the fallen bandit. She shot a quick look in Sesshomaru’s direction from the corner of her eye, but he was gone. Her heart faltered in her chest.

He left her.

He had truly abandoned her.

A sharp pain lanced her heart. She felt betrayed all over again.

She gritted her teeth when tears threatened. No, she would not cry over him! Focusing on Onigumo, she said, “This is going to hurt, but I need to remove your armor, and use your haori as bandages.”

“Do your worst,” Onigumo said with a half-smile, making Kagome realize that he teased her, and at a time like this. Why did she find that oddly charming?

It took Kagome a while to bandage his many wounds. There was his head injury from when Sesshomaru had cracked his skull on the ground when he had unseated Onigumo from his horse, the four punctures in his right shoulder from Sesshomaru’s acid—which looked like the flesh surrounding the wound was black and burnt—another acid puncture high on his thigh, then his shattered knee—which she splint with long sticks tied to his leg.

All throughout her ministrations, though she tried to be gentle, he made grunts and groans of pain, adding to her guilt.

When she was finally finished, he thanked her, and she was surprised he had yet to pass out from the pain.

“I’m going to help you on your horse. It’s the only one that came back,” Kagome said.

Onigumo chuckled. “He is a war horse, well trained. I admit we have not come across a youkai in battle before, but his training runs deep. He probably followed my scent to return to me.”

“Do you think you can stand?”

“Do I have a choice?”

Kagome helped Onigumo to his feet without further ado, her shoulder pressed hard into his armpit, her hand tight around his right wrist, as he used her as a crutch. Luckily, Onigumo had whistled his horse to stand next to them, so they didn’t have to attempt to walk.

Kagome gazed high up at the intimidating beast.

“I’m not sure how we’re going to get you up there.”

But when Onigumo gave his horse the order to kneel, it actually complied at once, lumbering down to its knees before them. It took several tries to get him on his horse, but finally they succeeded.

Before Kagome scrambled up before him, she noted how white his complexion was, sweat beaded his brow, and his breaths were too quick and shallow. She doubted he would last much longer before he passed out.

As the horse lurched to stand, Onigumo didn’t even groan from the pain that surely had to have caused at least his shattered knee. Was he unconscious? No, his left arm wrapped firmly around her waist, and he buried his face in her hair.

“The heady smell of a woman,” he breathed into her hair. “Enjoying…being so close to you.”

Kagome blushed at his words, unsure if he had a fever and hallucinated.

Guiding the powerful horse, she headed towards the nearby village at a steady, but slow pace, not wanting Onigumo to fall. She doubted she would be able to get him back on the horse. It was still dark out when she came to the edge of the village, almost crying out in thankfulness. She was so tired, both physically and mentally. All she wanted to do was give Onigumo into capable hands and sleep for days.

She was brought out of her thoughts when she felt Onigumo shift behind her.

“Onigumo?” she called softly, halting the horse.

When she tried to look over her shoulder at him, she gasped when he shifted further sideways, falling from the horse as if in slow motion, to land on the hard ground with a loud thud.

“Onigumo!”


	13. Confessions of a Fallen Man

Night was waning, the sun making its sluggish rise on the horizon. Birds chirped, small animals waking up and venturing out of their hiding places from would be night predators, as the new day began. The people in the small village, too, rose from sleep, preparing for another day of work, but there was one among them, a stranger, who had been awake all night, blurry eyed from fatigue.

Kagome knelt beside her comatose companion, wiping his burning brow. Her back muscles twitched from bending over for long periods of time, her shoulders slumped in exhaustion, but no matter how weary she might be, she did not have the luxury to rest as she so longed to do.

She gazed down at the handsome man who lay before her, face red with high fever, lips cracked, but moving, mumbling in restless unconsciousness. When she first arrived at the small village with Onigumo, she had not been overly pleased to realize that she would be the one expected to look after him, as the villagers did not possess a healer of their own. A traveling monk would stop by once every two months or so to look after the injured and ill, but he was not expected for at least another three weeks.

Upon arriving at this desolate village, Kagome had frantically knocked on someone’s humble home to beg for help to assist with the fallen bandit. A husband and his very pregnant wife had answered her desperate pleas, gazing at her with unveiled suspicion. News of the bandits traveled far and wide, and any newcomer was looked upon with suspicion. But after she had informed then that she was a miko, though she was not dressed as one, the husband reluctantly followed her to take a look at Onigumo.

The bandit yet lived after falling from his horse, but he was out cold, and nothing they could do would rouse him. It took longer than necessary—in Kagome’s opinion—to wake the village headman and ask his permission to house Onigumo and herself.

The headman’s mistrust had been plain for Kagome to see, and she had feared revealing Onigumo’s true identity, thinking that if they knew that he was a lord in the bandits’forces, the villagers would kill him when he was most defenseless. 

Normally, she would never think someone capable of such atrocities, but ever since her village’s destruction, the dark side of human nature had been brutally revealed to her, and she was taking no chances with Onigumo’s life. Though she hated the bandit with a passion, she wanted him to be brought to justice before a magistrate, not murdered while he lay unable to defend himself, even if he didn’t deserve the consideration.

Kagome was not like him; she was no killer. If he was to die for his crimes, it would be for the court to decide, not men and women looking for revenge. She did not believe killing one defenseless man could ever compensate for the lives he had destroyed, but she knew not everyone thought as she did. Violence only created more violence. She had learned that horrifying truth from Sesshomaru after he had slaughtered the ones who had taken everything from her.

Their deaths had not assuaged the pain of losing her loved ones, her friends, and her home. It only caused a greater sorrow to grow in her breast, the knowledge that she had allowed others to die, evil men, yes, but their blood was, nevertheless, on her hands. She felt dirty, unclean. Their deaths had only proved one thing, that she was no better than they, believing death was the answer to solve her problems.

Yes, she had been against the slaughter from the very beginning, but she had not called a halt to the Inugami’s destruction, had not allowed their contract to be dissolved, and allowed her life to be forfeit. She had realized, with bitterness, that she had been naïve to think she could outsmart the cunning demon, believing that if she could prove that she was not a heartless person, only looking out for herself and her wants, then she could prove him wrong. 

Instead, her stubborn pride had blindsided her, just as it had when she had insisted that she could beseech the Inu no Kami’s aid at his temple to protect her village, instead of waiting for Kikyo to return and take up the important and honored task.

Though she was fifteen, considered a woman now, she continued to act the child.

Now she was alone, her home gone, her life as she knew it forever altered, and Kikyo, the only person left alive who knew and cared for her, was missing. What was she to do? With ill feelings towards him, Kagome also missed Sesshomaru, for at least he was someone she was familiar with, even though she cared for him not, at least that was what she continuously told herself as the night waned.

Now it was morning. She was in a strange place, surrounded by people she did not know, homeless, alone, and forced to take care of a man she had every right to despise. But where was she to go? She knew not where to begin her search for her sister. Sesshomaru was gone, probably forever, so there was nothing she could do but sit beside this bandit, and help him heal. Perhaps when the traveling monk arrived in a few weeks’ time, he would take over Onigumo’s treatment, informing him of his patient’s identity, insisting on secrecy until Onigumo’s recovery, and then…

She didn’t know. Search for Kikyo without direction, walking aimlessly from village to village until she found her? That solution bordered on stupidity. She had no way to defend herself, knew not where she was going, and didn’t have the provisions she required for an extended journey.

Which left her stranded here, with Onigumo.

If she wasn’t so tired, she knew she would cry from despair. Instead, she continued to bathe Onigumo’s face and bared chest, for he only wore baggy hakama, and bandages wound his injuries. Likewise, she too wore new garments, an ugly brown kimono one of the village woman had allowed her to borrow. It was old, the material rough, but it was clean. Kagome couldn’t care less about her appearance. She had far too many more pressing concerns to worry about.

She paused, brought out of her thoughts when Onigumo thrashed about, mumbling incoherently. Before she could restrain him yet again, he subsided, too weak to continue, but he continued to murmur wordlessly, his head moving back and forth as did his eyes behind closed lids.

She wondered, not for the first time, what he dreamed about. It didn’t seem to be a pleasant one. What demons plagued his unconscious mind? Perhaps in his dreams, he was besieged by his wicked deeds. If that was the case, Kagome though he deserved his nightmares for the atrocities he had committed, a small penance for his past misdeeds.

 

All that day, Kagome spent tireless hours bathing Onigumo, trying to bank the fire that was his flesh. She wasn’t sure if he would live, wondered if she would care if he would die. She wasn’t certain she wanted him to live after all he had done, but she continued to nurse him, forcing water and broth constantly down his parched throat and giving him cooling baths.

No one helped her or ventured near the abandoned hut the village headman had allowed them to stay in. None trusted her, a stranger who had a deathly wounded husband. Or at least they thought he was hers. There was no way Kagome could have passed him off as a relative. He looked nothing like her, and though she was a miko, it was not unheard of for shrine maidens’ to marry; however, it was unheard of for a miko to travel alone with a man and not be considered a fallen woman, used goods, if he were not some of relation to her.

She hardly even thought about Sesshomaru in the long hours nursing Onigumo, too tired and busy to dwell on much, other than making Onigumo well. However, when she did think of the Inugami, mixed feelings of pain, anger, and betrayal surfaced, but underneath her chaotic emotions, she missed the silver haired demon, though she would never admit it.

The next morning, Kagome was dozing, propped up against the wall nearest Onigumo, an uncomfortable position, but she did not want to venture far from his side should he need anything, but was too weak to call out for her.

“Onna, wake up.”

At first, Kagome didn’t hear the voice calling to her, sleep dragging her down, but the male voice persisted, until she woke with a start, her eyes quickly falling to Onigumo. His brown eyes were open and aware, staring back at her.

She saw him swallow.

“Water, please.”

Muffling a groan as she forced sore muscles to move, she picked up a pitcher of water, and poured some in a clay cup, then shuffled closer to him. She curled her arm beneath his shoulders, lifted him up a few inches, and helped him sip the cool liquid by placing the rim of the cup to his cracked lips.

“Slowly,” she advised, making sure he did as she said by dribbling water into his mouth. She didn’t want him to drink too fast then vomit it back up.

“Thank you,” he murmured, eyes closed as she settled him back down.

“Do you need anything else? The privy? Food?” she inquired as she felt his forehead with the back of her hand. He was covered in sweat, but at least his fever had finally broken sometime in the night while she rested.

When he struggled to sit up on shaky arms, her hand fell on his shoulder, intending to stop him, but his strength gave out a second later.

“Careful,” she admonished him. “You just had a strong fever. You’ve been out for two nights.”

“That explains why I feel as weak as a babe,” he said in his rough voice, made gravelly by sickness and disuse. Then he grimaced, before meeting her stare. “Yes to both, but I fear I may need some help.”

Kagome flushed. Yes, she had assisted him with his bodily functions, but he had been comatose, unconscious. Now he was awake, and there was no one else to help him. Though she was a miko, her grandmother had always taken care of any male’s bodily needs if he was too sick or injured to help himself and had no wife to assist him.

He saw her discomfort, his eyes alight with both his pain, and mischief, but he said nothing, guessing correctly that if he teased her, she may refuse to help.

Trying to ignore his stare, she glanced away, stood to get the privy, and came back, kneeling by his left hip. She took more care than necessary to lower his blanket to his knees, hesitating briefly at his hakama ties.

“Please?” he rasped. “My need is very pressing. I’d rather not wet myself as a babe or elderly might.”

Her face scarlet, unable to talk past her embarrassment, her hands slightly shook as she untied his hakama. Though she had seen his male organ before after having to clean him up when he had, indeed, wet himself as a babe would while  he was sick, she told herself to act professional, and yanked down his clothing to his knees with more force than she meant to. 

He hissed in pain, his right hand moving to his thigh as the agony from his shattered knee and the hole in his thigh, escalated.

“Sorry,” she mumbled, mortified.

“Just give me a minute,” he rasped, eyes tightly shut, his teeth clenched in pain.

He didn’t seem to care that his male anatomy was hanging free between his thighs, dark hair surrounding the appendage Kagome had heard about but never actually seen until she had been forced to nurse him.

She couldn’t help but let her eyes wonder to that strange part of him. It rested across his left thigh, limp and…ugly. Bellow his shaft, she saw two round balls, knew that a man’s seed came from them, but they, too, were unappealing to her eyes.

She was vaguely disappointed by this discovery after years of mortified curiosity. Did they all look like this? It was almost…purple in color, the tip shaped like a mushroom.

Then, before her eyes, it twitched, making her jump, slightly startled her. She was unable to look away, eyes wide, as it thickened and hardened before her bewildered gaze. It rose from Onigumo’s thigh, and lengthened, straightening above his chiseled abs.

Dear Kami, had she though him small? It had grown almost twice its original size and was a couple inches shy of reaching his naval. It reared over the thin line of black hair leading downwards to the patch surrounding his enlarged organ.

As she looked, it jerked.

She gasped and raised her wide eyes to Onigumo’s smug face, a cocky grin plastered on his lips.

“Though I enjoy a beautiful woman’s appreciation, I now find myself in a conundrum. Not only do I need to relieve myself, I need to _relieve_ myself.”

Kagome blinked, not understanding, but then she turned scarlet, finally realizing what was happening to him. He was aroused! She saw the same look in his eyes that Sesshomaru had given her on more than one occasion.

Mortified, she sputtered, which only made Onigumo throw his head back and laugh, the sound rasping and hoarse, but she knew once he recovered from his illness, it would be boisterous, infectious.

Right now, however, she was far from amused at being the brunt of his mirth.

“Oh, you!” Grabbing the wet rag from the water bowl she had used to cool off his overheated flesh, she threw the soggy cloth at his chest, where it splattered water over his muscular frame with a loud smack.

Her outburst only made him laugh harder, then cough horribly.

She glowered at him as he fought to catch his breath, though he still chuckled.

“I think you’re capable of relieving yourself,” she said darkly, rising to her feet and turning her back to him. “I’ll heat up the broth, and feed it to you after you’re finished.”

“Hey! Wait! Onna, come back here! I still need some help,” Onigumo called after her as she went into another room, ignoring his shouts.

He tried again.

“Onna!”

He waited a second, giving her a chance to meekly return to him, but she did not.

Scowling at the ceiling, then at the privy bowl, he reached for it, knowing she would not be back to help him, and he had to go—now.

Almost an hour later, she returned, bowl in hand.

Onigumo turned his scowl on her. “It’s about time you showed up. I finished a long time ago, no thanks to you. Now I’m starving. What did you bring me?”

Outwardly calm, ignoring his ire, she knelt beside him as she responded, “Chicken broth.”

When she moved to lift him into a seated position, propping him on a wooden crate she had found in another room, he growled at her. “Are you trying to kill me? I need real food. Go get me some meat, onna.”

She ignored him, dipping the spoon into the steaming bowl, before offering it to him, looking at him expectantly.

He turned his face away with a scowl. “Onna—“

“My name’s not onna,” she interrupted him. “Now open your mouth.”

“Wench, I do not—“

“It’s not wench either.”

He glared at her, ignoring the food she held out to him, until she put the spoon back into the bowl, her expression calm. “If you’re not hungry, then I’ll feed you later.”

At that moment, his stomach rumbled loudly.

He didn’t even blush, but continued looking at her, making her nervous.

“I do not know your name,” he said unexpectedly.

Kagome blinked in surprise. “Oh.” She blushed. “It’s Kagome.”

Of course, he didn’t know. She had never introduced herself. She hadn’t seen the point while Sesshomaru and she was…interrogating him, nor when she had bound his injuries, and she certainly hadn’t been able to when he was out of his mind with fever.

“A bird in a cage,” he murmured, gazing at her with an expression she couldn’t define.

“Hardly,” she replied, looking away from him, and again spooning the broth before holding it out to him silently.

This time, he leaned forward, and she obligingly lifted the utensil to his lips, She watched his adam’s apple move as he swallowed. As she fed him, she was again reminded how handsome he was, his black, curly hair flowing over his powerful shoulders and down his chest, the rest cascading down his strong back. His skin was bronzed from the sun, his chest hairless, save for the thin trail starting just below his naval.

He had a very strong, masculine face, bold with sharp check bones, and a square chin, covered in thick, black stubble. Without conscious thought, she asked, “Would you like me to shave you today?”

When his brown eyes leveled on hers, she regretted offering. She was already seeing to his basic needs as he healed; there was no need for her to offer any further aid, but before she could take back her words, he replied.

“If it bothers you, then yes. I’ve never had such a beautiful woman groom me before. It’ll be a novel experience I look forward to.”

The spoon clanged against the bottom of the bowl in her agitation as she spooned more broth.

“You can stop with the flattery. I haven’t forgotten who you are. We aren’t friends; we never will be. I am only helping you heal from your injuries until another can take over the chore. When you are sufficiently healed, you will be brought before a magistrate, to be judged for your crimes. Also, I don’t like you.”

Kagome said the last with such feeling, he lifted an elegant, black brow at her.

“Fierce little thing, aren’t you?”

She ignored him, silently offering him another spoonful of the broth, which he took without complaint.

“How long will I be starved like this?” he asked when he waved away another spoonful.

Kagome set aside the bowl, and moved the crate from his back, before helping him lie back down as gently as she could. Still he groaned.

“A couple days,” was her clipped response, covering him once more with the blanket. She had no desire to continue conversing with him.

Onigumo was tired. Sitting up had taken what little strength he possessed, but he didn’t want to go to sleep just yet. He didn’t want this woman to leave him, so he wracked his brain for anything to say.

“Where am I? I never thought to ask until now. The last thing I remember is approaching a village.”

Kagome nailed him with a dirty look. “Yes, the village you and your friends had planned to destroy.”

“None of those men were my friends,” he denied absently. “So we made it to the village? Why do they accept me amongst them? Surely they would not aid the enemy.”

As he was, they both thought at the same time, their eyes locked together.

“They do not know who you are,” she admitted reluctantly.

“You didn’t tell them?” he asked with some surprise.

Kagome glared at him, then spoke as if she talked to a dim-witted lout. “They would have killed you.”

Not appreciating her tone, he, nevertheless, allowed it to pass without comment.

Before he could speak, she moved to stand. He reached out and grabbed her wrist with his left hand, the hand nearest her, and the one that didn’t have a shoulder attached to it, riddled with wounds.

“Let go,” Kagome said, frowning at the hand that caged her.

“I know you hate me, and rightfully so. What I don’t know is why you’d go to such lengths for one you so clearly despise. You said I had been out of my mind with fever for two nights. Why would you help instead of abandoning me to these villagers to do with me as they will? They do not know my origins, as you have just stated. You could have abandoned me. Why do you stay?”

He was looking at her with such a deeply concentrated stare, that Kagome was having a hard time meeting his eyes, but she did not look away. Not wishing to reveal the whole truth, she hedged.

“No one here would have helped you. We are strangers here, and since bandits—you—have been terrorizing the countryside, everyone who is not known is looked upon with suspicion. Now will you release me?”  

She glared at him, then his hand that stayed her, and back at his face, making it blatantly obvious she did not appreciate being detained.

He must have seen something else in her expression, for he said, “No, there is something you are not telling me. Tell me the real reason why you could not abandon me.”

After staring each other down for long seconds, Kagome glanced away, unable to look into his indomitable gaze. Though he was physically weakened—though she couldn’t tell by the tight grip he had on her wrist—his will was as strong as ever.

What harm was there in telling him? Though none of the villagers had ventured close to the hut they shared, that didn’t mean they wouldn’t at some point. Her lie would be found out if she did not let him in on it, and, ultimately, play along.

“It would look badly for me to leave my husband,” she mumbled.

Onigumo jerked, then gritted his teeth at his sharp movement.

“We’re married?” he gritted between gritted teeth, sounding angry because his molars were clenched in pain. His fist unconsciously tightened as he rode the waves of agony.

Misunderstanding his tone and brutal grip, she yanked on her arm, trying to free herself. “Let go! You’re hurting me!”

Onigumo loosened his grip, but not enough for her to escape. Then he repeated, his voice more normal as the pain ebbed to a bearable level, “We’re married?”

She scoffed at him. “Of course not! I only said we were because they were asking too many questions.”

Why did he feel slightly disappointed by that news, he wondered.

“I see,” he lamely replied.

But then he chuckled.

“What’s so funny?” she demanded, glaring at him, while futilely trying to free herself.

“Stop that. You’re only hurting yourself,” he said absently before replying to her question. “Married to your hated enemy, even if it is pretend. How unpleasant that must be for you.” He chuckled again.

Kagome found nothing humorous by the situation.

Her hatred and anger for this man reached its boiling point. Snidely, she said, “To lie there helpless, forced to allow another, a woman, to care and provide for you. How you must hate it.”

Instead of becoming angry at her taunt, he turned a contemplative gaze on her. “No, I don’t think I do.”

Then he released her, saying, “Leave me. I am weary. I shall rest now.”

Kagome left him without a second’s hesitation, though she left confused by his admission.

The next time he saw her was later that day. She came in and told him she had to change his bandages. He had been awake for only a short time, probably not even an hour, when she sailed in; however, he had been calling for her since he had opened his eyes, and she had not responded. He was angered by her neglect, but he forced himself to calm. It would not do to push this woman too far. She may change her mind and abandon him, and he was in no shape to care for himself, though he was loath to admit it.

She had been correct when she had previously said he would hate being weak and helpless, forced to rely on another for everything, but he found he did not mind having her assist him, and he wasn’t sure why.

“You’re a little spitfire, aren’t you,” he commented when he was sitting up, and she had begun to unwrap the bandages around his right shoulder. “You’re not like other miko I have come across. You’re too outspoken and aggressive for the shrine maiden’s docile lifestyle.

Angered by his assessment of her character, hating that he may be right, she said, “That’s none of your concern. You don’t know me.”

He surprised her when he said, “I’d like to.”

Her hands paused before she continued and took away the last bit of his bindings, removing the patch that covered the four holes in his chest she knew went all the way through and out his back. She remembered clearly how he had gotten the strange punctures. An image of thin beams of green light searing through armor and flesh entered her mind before she dispelled the memory.

“That’s not going to happen.”

“Surely you don’t expect us to be silent for however long it takes for that monk to arrive you’re planning on abandoning me to.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” she replied shortly, cleaning the dried blood before applying an ointment she had made from herbs she had picked from the fields to help stave off infection and ease his pain.

He didn’t make a sound, though she was sure she was hurting him, no matter how gentle she tried to be. However, she noticed his muscles flex and tense beneath her fingers. She refused to feel bad for him.

“Then if you don’t wish to speak, I will.”

“I’m not interested in what you have to say.”

“Well, the only way you will be able to keep me silent is if you gag me.” He smiled at her while saying it.

“Don’t tempt me,” she muttered, which only made him laugh, as if he enjoyed her attitude.

As she worked on his other injuries, his cracked skull, the hole in his left thigh, and retightened the bindings on his splinted knee, he told her about all the places he had been while traveling with his men, regaling her with tales of things she had never seen, such as large cities, the jungle, the people he had met, and the animals and plant life he had seen. Never once did he bring up the destruction he had surely caused while traveling with his men.

Angered by her interest in places far away, at things she had never seen, she tied off his leg splint, and said in an unkind voice, “You probably raided and destroyed every place you just told me about. I have no desire to hear about the evil you have done, even when danced around the subject as you are now.”

“Not all were destroyed,” he replied.

When she rose to leave, not wishing to be alone, hungry anyway, he meekly asked, “Do you mind bringing me that broth you insist on feeding me? I’m hungry.”

Clearly she wished to deny him, but she nodded wordlessly. First, she helped him lie back down before leaving to heat up the leftover broth.

She came back thirty minutes later, helped him to sit back up, and though he trembled with the strain, feeling fatigued already, but neither of them commented.

Between spoonfuls, he told her about his childhood, that he grew up on a farm miles from the nearest village. He was the oldest of five siblings, four girls, and he the only boy. He told her about the farm, the chores he used to do, his dreams of leaving home and doing great things with his life, instead of wasting it away as he was.

“But you didn’t grow to do great things,” interrupted Kagome. “You murder, rape, and pillage. You’re nothing but a crook.”

“Half-true,” he admitted. “I may not have contributed for the greater good, but my deeds are known far and wide. I am a legend, feared.”

“So you’ve been a rotten seed since you were young, huh?” Kagome said, eyeing him distastefully as she fed him another spoonful.

“No,” he said simply without explaining.

Kagome reluctantly found herself intrigued. What would move a boy to such evil?

“Why did you become a bandit?”

His answer was flippant. “I thought you didn’t want to hear about that aspect of my life.”

She glowered at him. “Just answer the question. You’ve been open with me about everything else. Why not reveal how you started your debauchery?” 

“You’re a bossy little thing,” he said with obvious admiration.

“We’ve already established that,” she informed him, setting aside the bowl when he declined to have anymore. Then she flushed. Was she…could she be actually enjoying their verbal sparring? She hated him! As if she could like anything about him.

Focusing on the task at hand, she helped him lie back down, making him comfortable, then knelt beside him, waiting for him to continue.

“As you noted, I wasn’t born a bad seed,” he began. “However, I left out key points in my childhood. My father was an abusive drunk. He kept my mother pregnant more times out of the year than not. He needed help with the farm as he didn’t have the money to hire help. Though, that didn’t stop him from beating her when she was pregnant, causing her to miscarry countless times.”

Kagome felt ill by his revelation, but she did not interrupt, but gazed at him, fighting back sympathy.

“Truthfully, I’m surprised she was able to carry the five of us to full term, considering the circumstances. My father not only beat my mother, but all of his children, especially me. I suppose he thought I could take the brutal punishments on the account that I was a boy, his only male offspring. My father was none too pleased that my mother couldn’t seem to give him any more sons, and blamed her for it. Once, that I recall, he beat her to within an inch of her life when she gave him another girl child.

“Though my mother never abused any of her children, she never intervened when our father would strike us for fear he would kill her. When I was twelve, the farm was failing, there was no chance to save it, and so, he decided to sell off all his children, not wanting the burden of so many mouths to feed any longer, yet still make a profit. Needless to say, I ran away before he could. I have no idea what became of my sisters or my parents.”

What Onigumo described, horrified Kagome. How could anyone treat a child and wife thusly, she had no idea. Without meaning to, her heart went out to the little boy he had been, afraid of the one man who should have guided and protected him and bring him up to be a decent man. 

Onigumo continued, his voice holding no emotion, nothing like when he was telling her about his exploits with his men. Obviously, his past still bothered him. She hurt for him, forgetting for just a moment, who it was that laid before her.

“For the next three years, I moved from place to place, village to village, half-starved, and unable to find a place to call my own. I had grown to drink heavily, whoring around, uncaring about the life I had. It could have all come to an end, and I wouldn’t have given a damn.”

How lonely he must have been, was Kagome’s sympathetic thought, her heart in her eyes. She laid a comforting hand on his uninjured shoulder, feeling his warm flesh beneath her fingers. He didn’t seem to notice her gesture, lost in his memories.

“Then one day, after getting roaring drunk on cheap sake, I was tossed out of a tavern for trying to start a brawl. I landed in a mud puddle, but I was too intoxicated to care. When I had draggled myself to my feet, using a water barrel nearby, I looked down and saw my reflection. I did not like what I saw. My life came flashing before my eyes at that moment, and I despised my reflection. I was a no good drunk just like my father. I was…insignificant, scum of the world.

“It was then that I vowed to make something of myself. A week later, I met a foot soldier in a bandit’s army, who was regaling everyone with tales of glory and riches. Without really understanding what I was doing, or who I was consorting with, I signed up.”

When he fell silent, Kagome asked in a hushed voice, “Why did you stay with the bandits when you realized you’d have to…kill innocent people?”

“Because the only way to leave their service was to die, and I admit, I was a coward. I wanted to live.”

Kagome removed her hand from his shoulder, at first feeling contempt for him, but then she recalled that she had done the same as he. If she had been strong enough to let Sesshomaru kill her instead of agreeing to abide by their contract, she wouldn’t be at least partially to blame for so much death, no matter whose life had been taken.

Onigumo noticed her withdrawal. In an offhand voice, hiding his true hurt, he asked, “Do you condemn me for my choice? Believe that I was a coward, preferring to take innocent lives instead of dying?”

Kagome met his gaze squarely, emotions swirling in her chocolate brown depths. “I have no right to judge you.”

At first Onigumo thought she was merely trying to get out of answering by claiming she was no judge, and that only the kami’could, but when he saw her pained expression, he knew there was more to her answer than she revealed. Before he could inquire, she stood and said she needed to collect more herbs for his wounds. Both ignored the fact that she had plenty in the hut, and he allowed her to escape, intrigued once again by this strange onna.


	14. Contemplations

That night found Kagome in another room, lying down on a few blankets and covered with another, a makeshift bed she had constructed this night. The last two nights she had been too busy sitting beside Onigumo as she battled his fever to really have a sleeping pallet of her own. Not that it was very comfortable, but it would suffice for her weary body.

However, though she was exhausted, her mind refused to settle down and allow sleep to claim her. Her thoughts were too jumbled, racing through her mind, making sleep impossible.

Giving up, she lay there, and allowed her many thoughts to reign so that she could contemplate her predicament and everything she had learned in the past few days.

Her thoughts first drifted to all Onigumo had revealed to her yesterday, especially the heart wrenching tale of him as a child, his father’s abuse and neglect. No child should ever have to fear his own parent. Kagome didn’t really remember her own parents, but her Obaasan had taken very good care of her, even in her advanced age.

Kagome had never been struck out of anger, never been verbally abused or neglected in any way.

She felt somewhat guilty that her childhood was far better than Onigumo’s, even though she knew it wasn’t her fault their lives had been dealt the way they had been. She was only grateful she had a caring and loving Obaasan to look after her and shelter her.  

 _Onigumo_ , she though his name.

She should hate him for the things he had done, for destroying her village, and taking everything from her. Well, almost everything. Kikyo was still out there, somewhere.

She relived her villages destruction, saw the flames consume everything and everyone in its path. Smoke was everywhere, choking the very air she breathed. And her Obaasan, crushed beneath a wooden beam in their own home, blood pooling everywhere.

Screams echoed in her mind’s ear. She closed her eyes, but all she saw was blood.

Her breathing escalated, she was beginning to pant, and she belatedly recognized the signs of hyperventilating. But no one was here this time to help her.

Calm, she had to be calm.

Deep breaths. That’s what Sesshomaru had taught her.

Sesshomaru…

No! Not now. She wouldn’t think of the Inugami just yet.

She had been thinking about Onigumo, and how he had changed her life forever, and not for the better. She should despise the very air he breathed but surprisingly, she had learned a totally different side to him other than his sad childhood.

He was engaging, smiling, laughing, and acting like a man without a care in the world. He flirted outrageously with her, told her wild stories of his adventures without adding anything horrific and graphic. Not once since she had met him had he acted threatening towards her or said anything unkind.

This man who killed innocent people without remorse…

She felt a shiver of fear run down her spine. He was like a chameleon. If she had met him under any other circumstance, if he had shown her only his _good_ side, she would never have guessed at the corruption that hid beneath the surface. The thought terrified her, for she now realized that there were people out there that could hide their wickedness with such ease, and no one would be the wiser.

How naïve she had been growing up! She had always thought, been sure without a questionable doubt that she would be able to spot a bad man when she saw one, and yet, the Onigumo that lay injured did not come across as an evil man.

He was surely a wolf in sheep’s clothing. The perfect enemy, able to dazzle and bewitch those around him without anyone being the wiser. Not even her.

Yes, she was afraid, not really of Onigumo per se, but the fact that the world hid such horrors. This was not the world she had grown up in, but her universe had been shattered…by none other than Onigumo. She must never forget his true nature.

She frowned as she gazed up at the ceiling.

Surely Onigumo was no threat to her. He lay injured, unable to stand, or care for himself. But then she recalled his strong grip on her wrist. She lifted said arm, held it into the light of the moon that filtered through her window, and rubbed the finger bruises that had formed there. It still ached.

No, he was still dangerous.

Thoughts of another man filtered through her mind, and this time she allowed herself to think about him—Sesshomaru.

He wasn’t truly a man, but an Inugami bent on her destruction.

She forced herself to remember every bad thing he had committed since she had met him not so long ago, every hurt, and every horror.

That first day, he had only agreed to save her for a price. She knew he would have allowed those bandits to do unimaginable deeds to her person, perhaps would have watched or merely walked away, uncaring how they would have hurt her. He wouldn’t, no, he didn’t care.

Then, after her village had been massacred, burned to the ground, he had forced her to relive the horror when she had not been ready to face it, had even taken her back to her destroyed village and forced her to look upon the embers. He had wanted, demanded her to remember, not to help her get over the pain, but to force her heart to feel the burning need of revenge. He had not done it for her, but for himself, to further his own agenda in regards to her. Again, he had shown how little he cared for her.

He wanted to have intimate relations with her, uncaring that neither liked the other, as if she were a body to satisfy his lusts. He didn’t see her, not the real her. She was nothing, inconsequential.

How that knowledge hurt, to be deemed unworthy of acknowledgement for who you were, and in fact, wishing to change her.

Tears welled in her eyes, and she did nothing to stop them as they fell from the corner of her eyes and into her hair. 

It was hard, but she forced herself to see the good he had done, to remember how he had helped her.

Though he had done it for the wrong reasons, he had saved her that first day from certain death and from the vile acts those men wished to do to her. Afterwards, when they had returned to her village, how did she repay him? By accusing him of interfering with her efforts in seeking the Inu no Kami’s aid, blamed him for everything that was going wrong, and none of that had been his doing. She still felt guilt over her childish actions, her need to put the blame on someone’s shoulders.

Even so, he had not allowed her to die in her own home when she had been trapped by the fire. However, again she had blamed him, accusing him of not saving her village. At first she had been unbelieving when he had claimed to have not been there when the bandits had first attacked.

How could she blame him for disliking her when all she had shown him thus far was how ungrateful she had been to his aid? 

When her village had been destroyed, he had comforted her, held her close to his chest, and allowed her to cry. He could have been callous and let her grieve alone, but he had not. But most importantly, he had agreed to help her find Kikyo, without asking anything in return. Why, she didn’t know, but she had been grateful.

She forced herself to relive the horror of witnessing a man raping a woman he had just killed, her corpse not yet cold. Sesshomaru had killed him when the wicked man had come after her, intending to rape her as well, possibly killing her afterwards…or during.

Sesshomaru had shown her, her own desire to witness that man paying for his crimes; however, it had only been when Sesshomaru had killed the ones who had destroyed her village that she realized it wasn’t their deaths she craved in retribution, but seeing them stand trial before the law, for an eye for an eye, death for death, was not what she wanted.

Yes, he had saved her many times over, but she could not get past the fact that he only had done so because he wanted to change her. He couldn’t fathom anyone capable of being caring, unselfish, and not self-serving.

No, she wasn’t perfect. She knew her faults. She was jealous and envious of Kikyo, had put the blame on Sesshomaru when it was not deserved. She could be naïve and clueless, but she was nothing like the man who shared this dilapidated hut with her; however, Sesshomaru thought otherwise, refused to think differently.

She wished she had had the chance to prove to him otherwise. She was more than a little sad that he thought goodness and kindness did not exist without an ulterior motive. How lonely he must be. What kind of past did he possess that would cause him to believe without a doubt that only evil reigned in this world? Had no one ever shown him kindness?

More tears fell, for Sesshomaru, and how he came to be the unfeeling being that he was.

If given the chance, she would like to prove him wrong only because his world was full of darkness. How anyone could survive in such beliefs without going mad, she did not know. But he was gone. He had abandoned her. And for some reason that devastated her.

Again she wondered why she cared so much about his opinion when he cared not at all for her own.

Just then, Onigumo’s words came back to her.

_‘You’re not like other miko I have come across. You’re too outspoken and aggressive for the shrine maiden’s docile lifestyle.’_

Maybe he was right. Maybe Sesshomaru saw her little faults as not being the actions of a miko, and so held doubt about her character.

Perhaps…perhaps she was not meant to be a miko?

She shook her head hard, and turned onto her side in the fetal position unconsciously as she thought.

No, she _was_ a miko, and even though her powers were erratic, she _did_ possess spiritual energy, so fate had decreed her calling, and truthfully, she enjoyed being a miko and helping others.

She may sometimes regret she may never get the opportunity to have a husband and children, for few miko ever were permitted to, but she had fulfillment in her calling—or so she told herself after such thoughts of having a family of her own.

She remembered when Sesshomaru asked her that second day on their journey towards her village if she had ever desired sexual gratification, and she had thought of Hojo, a young man around her own age, who had lived in the village, but had been one of the ones to leave when news of the bandits imminent arrival to their home was at hand.

She remembered seeing Hojo, thinking how kind and nice he was, and that he was very handsome, if a bit shy. She had sometimes had wistful thoughts concerning him. He would have made a great husband and father. But even then, she knew it was probably not meant to be.

However lately, it wasn’t Hojo she saw when she thought about carnal pleasures. She flushed as she admitted to herself it wasn’t Onigumo either—thank Kami—but the silver haired, amber eyed Sesshomaru—not like he was any better than the bandit.

But she couldn’t deny her attraction for him. It was purely physical, she was sure. What she had heard her Obaasan tell other village girls was lust, nothing more.

Even though she would never under any circumstance enter a purely sexual relationship, she allowed herself to dream, to think how it would feel being with Sesshomaru. Thoughts were harmless, right? It was what you did with such urges that counted, and she wouldn’t act upon them. Not like she could with the Inugami being gone…

 _I miss him_ , she thought forlornly, shifting to her other side to look out the window at the crescent moon that reminded her of the mark gracing his regal forehead.

Banishing her thoughts of his abandonment, she allowed herself to imagine herself in his arms as he touched her, whispered wicked things in her ear until her face burned scarlet from embarrassment and arousal.

She was ignorant of the subject, but her body burned, ached. Her nipples hardened and she felt her core weep with what she understood to be her own desire.

She shifted her thighs, trying to assuage the burn between her thighs, but that didn’t seem to work. She clenched her eyes shut, but the erotic image of Sesshomaru naked and reaching for her with lust in his eyes could not be banished.

Sleep finally claimed her not long after, but the Inugami followed her in her dreams.

She wasn’t even aware that she murmured his name as sleep claimed her.


	15. Jealousy's Reign

The next morning Kagome was kneeling beside the propped up Onigumo, spoon feeding him his breakfast of chicken broth with added small bits of chicken. When she had made his breakfast, she denied her reasons for trying to make his meal more bearable, but she knew, even though she still disliked him extremely for his part in her current homeless circumstance, she still felt a twinge of conscious for the small boy he had been, beaten and abused, and for the young man he used to be, forced to kill or be killed.

However, he too noticed his meal change, and of course he had to comment with that handsome, roguish smile of his that would have—on any other man—caused her to blush in maidenly shyness.

“So I am to be given slightly more edible fare today, little bird? What is the occasion? Am I to receive an unpleasant visit today by angry villagers or has that priest arrived early, and this is your way of a parting gift?”

Normally his outrageous flirtation would annoy her greatly, but her mind was too filled with missing the Inugami, that she felt only mild irritation.

“My name is Kagome, not little bird,” she reprimanded while spooning his breakfast and offering it to him. “And no, there’s no occasion. I figured you were right, and could be given something more solid to help regain your strength more quickly. Depending on how well your stomach takes this, I’ll see that you have something more substantial for the afternoon meal.”

Onigumo was forced to chew and swallow before he could make his reply, but she saw that his eyes danced with mirth.

“Splendid. I am not a plant to live off of water. I need meat and lots of it,” he teased.

Kagome didn’t comment, amber eyes again flashing in her mind, causing a strange pang in her chest. Perhaps, she reflected, she only missed Sesshomaru because she had grown used to his company, and he was the only familiar face she knew, and, too, because he knew what had occurred recently, how much she had lost. It was strange comfort knowing someone else was aware of her loss, but he was gone. She had to remember that he wasn’t coming back.

How foolish of her to think for even one second that he would have returned for her these past few days.

Onigumo noticed her downcast mood, wondering what its cause was. He felt a strong, unfamiliar urge to offer comfort but knew she would only reject his innocent desire. Instead, he tried to shift her thoughts in hopes of—if not cheering her—then diverting her from her current musings.

“What are your plans for today, little bird? Yesterday, I almost expired from boredom. Surely there is something that could preoccupy our time during our stay here.”

“And what, pray tell, do you suggest we do?” she challenged mildly, feeding him. “You are injured, unable to move around freely on your own, and the villagers barely tolerate us. We are strangers here. It’s not as if we could invite friends over for tea and gossip.”

He grinned at her.

“Surely you have more imagination than ‘tea and gossip’. We could play a game. I’m sure you can obtain some playing cards, or dice, or some such harmless pastime.”

“This might seem strange to you,” she said, staring him squarely in the eyes, “but I have no desire to entertain you. I am not one of your comrades or your friend. You are nothing more than a wounded man I am taking pity on to care for, regardless of your appalling past deeds.”

“So you have mentioned in the past,” he smiled wryly, not put off by her attitude towards him.

He knew he deserved far worse from her, was surprised she did as much as she was doing for him after all he had taken from her. There were times during his journeys that he had stumbled across such selfless beings, but he had always scorned their ability to overlook another’s abhorrent actions in favor of attempting to see the good inside the individual, to try and relate to the human heart everyone possessed. He had always thought them naïve.

Perhaps, in reality, he was the jaded, cynical, close-minded fool to be pitied. Always before dispatching decent people such as this miko, he would have a grand time fooling them, playing on their heart strings, making them believe he wished to change his wicked ways, before betraying them in some way, and ultimately sending them to the afterlife.

Truth be told, the only reason he had mentioned his unfortunate childhood last night—while not a lie—was to gain this miko’s sympathy, to manipulate her in such a way that she would look past his misdeeds, and view him in a better light. To pity and empathize with the child he had been.

His only aim at the time, during his revelation, was to stop her from abandoning him to some unknown priest who may or may not have his best interest at heart, and to ultimately be turned in to the law and made accountable for his past crimes.

Surely he had been somewhat successful considering her reaction to his tale, but today? She was distant, barely responsive to him. She again viewed him as an unwanted burden, and that knowledge rankled his pride as a man and his ego.

For some strange, unfathomable reason, he had also wanted her to like him, so he had endeavored to charm her with his recollections of his past—other than the one concerning his childhood, of course.

Her innocence called to him, made him yearn to reach out across the small distance between them that felt like miles, and hold her close to his chest, to a heart he had long since felt cold and unmoving. It wasn’t just her young, beautiful face, for he had seen far more beautiful visages, and it wasn’t because his battered body desired to possess hers physically, to sink deep inside her body. It was something more. The skip of his heartbeat when he saw her appear this morning to feed him, how it raced when she drew near, and the strange longing he felt to keep her by his side.

How could he have such feelings for a woman he didn’t really know?

Perplexing, but undeniable, and he was not a man to deny what he was feeling and what he wanted.

And he wanted her.

They had months yet together before that bothersome priest appeared. Surely he could make her feel the same for him in that amount of time? Women loved him, flocked to him to gain his attention. He had no doubt in his mind that he would make it so, for it had never been so important to him until now that he succeed.

He blinked, shook himself from his musings, but he grinned in self-mockery.

This had to be obsession. How else would he explain seeing her face before he drifted off to sleep and waking with her name upon his lips? This was not the first time he had felt such all-consuming desire to possess, to take for himself, for he had always been a man of huge passions, desiring things—a horse, position, riches—and going after them with single-minded determination.

His eyes flickered over her face. He almost pitied her for being the object of his desire, for there was no getting away from him. He would have her, his injuries be damned.

He cared not if he would never regain the full use of his leg. He would adjust to the limp he was sure to have. He was still young, strong, rich and influential. There was much he could offer her. 

He was brought out of his thoughts when Kagome set aside the bowl. He blinked, realized long minutes had stretched between them in silence while they had both been lost in their own thoughts.

She reached for him.

“Allow me to look at your wounds. The bandages probably need changing and more ointment.”

“Of course,” he replied, taking enjoyment in the touch of her small hands on his chest as she untied the bandages covering his shoulder wound.

He clenched his teeth at the sharp stab of pain her ministrations caused his wounds. They were sore and felt like hellfire. If it had not been for the powdered pain mediation she had kept close at hand for him, he knew he would be in worse shape than he already was.

In an effort to distract himself from the agony, he asked, “Where do your thoughts take you?”

“That is none of your concern,” she replied absentmindedly, removing the last of his bandages, leaving his bronzed chest bare to her gaze, and the four punctures on his shoulder.

“Am I left to wonder? Perhaps we can make a game of this. What do you say, little bird? If I guess what is on your mind, will you tell me if I am correct or not, and of course give me small hints if I am close to discovery or not?”

During his ridiculous prattling, Kagome had fingered the flesh around his wound. It was inflamed with infection, but not as of yet oozing pus. Her worry turned to annoyance as she raised her gaze to meet his own.

“Will you be serious for five minutes? And I told you my name is Kagome. Why do you insist on referring to me by that ridiculous name?”

He chuckled.

She glared at him.

“Your name, ‘Kagome’, means ‘bird in a cage’, does it not? And you most surely are one. A spitfire of a woman, but forced into a tame, sedate calling.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about,” she muttered, gazing down to again inspect his wound, frowning as she drew nearer for closer inspection.

“See anything you like?” he teased.

Ignoring his flirtation, she replied seriously, “Your wound seems to be enflamed with the beginning signs of infection. I do not have the herbs at present to fight it off.” She moved to his leg and removed his blanket. “I’ll check your other injuries before leaving to collect them.”

Her hand hesitated over the ties that held his hakama, looking up at him, silently asking for permission.

He grinned, showing all his teeth in a roguish smile.

“Never would I say no to such a beautiful woman bent on removing my clothes.”

She rolled her eyes at him in answer and fumbled at his ties, her hands clumsy in her embarrassment. He just had to make this situation as uncomfortable for her as he could, she thought unkindly.

He helped her by rising his backside off the floor, groaning from the pain the action caused him, his shattered knee not thanking him.

“I’m sorry,” she murmured without thinking, pulling down his garment passed his knees.

“Worried about me, are you?” he asked through gritted teeth, riding the pain.

She ignored his comment and focused first on his thigh, unraveling the bandage. She told herself to keep her gaze fixed squarely on her objective, but she couldn’t help but give his flaccid member a sideways glance. It was as ugly to her as ever, but she was still curious about this part of him that she had such little knowledge of.

His chuckle was slightly strained.

“Give me a minute, and I will be up and ready to impress.”

She frowned, not understanding his meaning at first, but a second later, she did and flushed. She knew she had been caught staring.

“You shouldn’t say such inappropriate remarks,” she scolded, her eyes on his revealed wound—a singular puncture similar to the ones on his shoulder—her face scarlet.

“You’re no fun,” he joked in obvious amusement at her discomfort.

“You should remember that,” she shot back, while she inspected his injury, noting that there were no signs of infection to worry about.

Wordlessly, she ran her hand lightly along his bandaged and splinted knee, making sure they held, and that his knee would heal aligned, and hopefully not cripple him to the extent of being unable to ever walk again.

She didn’t care if he never stood on his own again, she knew, but it was her duty to provide the best of her healing arts in an attempt at the furthest recovery possible. He wasn’t going to be walking ‘free’ anyway after he was handed over to the law. But on principle, she had to do all she could to help heal him.

He was silent during her inspection, which surprised her. She gazed up at him in silent inquiry only to see his jaw tightly clenched and beads of sweet lining his brow. She felt a pang of remorse to see anyone in such agony and endeavored to offer empathetic words.

“I’m sorry if I hurt you, but I am only trying to help. You are doing remarkably well for someone in your condition.”

“Sweet praise from a sweet woman,” he said, offering her a tight smile.

She tried to return his smile, but it cracked along the edges. She could not get over what he had done to her. She doubted she would ever be able to forgive this man. However, she hoped her bitterness and anger would lessen after time. She did not want to be embittered for the rest of her life but return to the happy, carefree girl she had been before this mess had occurred. She was doubtful she ever would be the same again, though.

The thought only made her sad, so she dispelled it. She had had enough of self-pity. It accomplished nothing but making her more miserable.

“After I’m finished re-wrapping your leg and dressing you, I’ll leave your shoulder wound exposed for now until I get back with the herbs I need.” As she spoke, she worked, bandaging his thigh, and helping him get his hakama back on.

Then she stood and picked up the old bandages with one hand and bowl with the other.

“I’ll be back soon,” she promised.

“Even a few minutes without your company feels like eternity, but I shall faithfully await your return,” he replied, ever flirtatious.

She shook her head as she exited his room, doubting his ability to ever be serious.

Minutes later, she exited the hut, basket on her arm, and walked with a fast pace.

Unbeknown to her, not long after she left, another entered the hut.

She didn’t walk through the village as the dwelling she shared with Onigumo was on the outskirts of the village and the herbs she needed would be found growing in the forest. Luckily for her, the village was surrounded by trees, almost as if it were protected by the shrubbery.

The path she followed was on the other side of the village from where she and Onigumo had entered on horseback, so she didn’t have to worry about stumbling upon the bloody scene from a few nights ago; though she was sure the village men had already moved the bodies of the fallen bandits. The memory alone caused her to shudder in renewed horror.

She had noticed, the last time she had ventured this way to collect the medicinal herbs she required, that there was a river. She had used its cleansing, yet chilly, waters to bathe and knew she would have to give Onigumo a bath soon. He was starting to smell—not his fault—and she was sure he would appreciate a bath. She should probably do that later this afternoon, she thought.

Kagome was brought out of her thoughts abruptly when sounds of splashing and gurgled, desperate pleas for help reached her ears.

Heart pounding, she raced towards the water’s edge and several yards further down before she saw what looked to be a small person—a child—thrashing wildly in the water.

 _Oh my God!_ she thought with some panic.

“I’m coming!” she screamed, hoping she was heard over the child’s struggles. “Just hold on!”

She dropped her basket, struggled out of her ugly, brown kimono until she was only in her white under yukata, then kicked off her sandals, and ran into the water, before diving in when her feet could no longer touch the ground and her head still be above the water.

It took her no time at all to reach the squirming small bundle, thankful she had been in time to reach the child before he or she went under.

“It’s okay,” she sputtered, trying to get the child to stop fighting her. “I’m helping you, now hold onto me!”

She wasn’t sure if the child had understood her words or realized that she was there to help, for the small body then clung to her. Little legs wrapped around her hips and thin arms held a vice like grip around her neck, making breathing more difficult, but she didn’t reprimand the child, only kicked and moved her arms as best she could through the icy water until she could finally touch her feet on the river’s bed.

Sopping wet, Kagome splotched her way through the ankle deep water before coming to dry land and fell to her knees upon the grass. She was trembling uncontrollably from the chill, her clothes heavy with water, hair plastered in wild disarray over her face and down her back.

She tried to set the child down, but the small body refused to release her.

Still unsure of the child’s gender, but going by the short mop of black hair and wet clothes, she’d hazard a guess that he was a boy. She patted his back soothingly, her arms holding the shivering body close to her own.

“Hey, there, there, little one. You have nothing to fear anymore,” she tried to soothe, but she needed to look him over to make sure he was alright, and there was still the threat of exposure if she didn’t get him out of his soggy clothes.

She tilted her head back and encouraged him to release his strangling hold around her neck by prying them loose and setting him on the grassy ground before her.

“I know you’re scared,” she cajoled, “but I need to make sure you’re alright.”

Just then he started coughing, raw, terrible sounds that sent alarm through her.

Without asking permission, she gently but firmly turned him over and laid him out on his stomach and began pressing on his back, forcing the water from his lungs. Though he was no longer in the river, water in the lungs could be fatal if not expelled.

More coughing followed by retching heaves as the water was forced out of his body.

Seconds later, he collapsed, unmoving other than the huge gusts of tortured breathing that shuddered his small frame. Empathy and pity creased her brow as she turned him over on his back, propping his torso against her arm, holding him up to help him breathe easier.

“Shhh, it’s alright now. You’re safe. I’ve got you. I’ve got you,” she murmured to him softly, stroking his wet hair from his round face turned white from the cold, lips blue and trembling. “What’s your name?”

The boy merely gazed back at her silently. He couldn’t be more than half a decade old, she surmised. Maybe five or six years of age.

Perhaps he was in shock?

She wasn’t finished saving him, she knew. She had to get him out of his clothes and somewhere warm. Her eyes darted to her discarded kimono, figured she could use that to wrap around him after she had taken his dripping clothes off.

Her hands moved to his haori, intending to remove it.

“Here, let me take this off. You need—hey!” she exclaimed when the boy scrambled out of her lap, his eyes wide and fear filled as he darted a quick glance at her before running off towards the village.

Kagome stood, hand outstretched as she called after him, but she hesitated to follow. Even though she had saved him, for some reason he was afraid. Of her?

She shook her head. No, he must still be terrified from his near death experience and ran from a stranger and to his family where he felt most safe.

She sighed and glanced at her discarded clothes.

She frowned at them and not for the first time wished she still wore the garments of her trade. Perhaps then these villagers wouldn’t look at her with veiled mistrust.

Glancing around, she quickly stripped off her soaking socks and yukata, blushing at her nudity as she quickly struggled to put on her kimono, then her sandals.

Running her fingers through her wet hair, she tried to bring order to the tangled mess, half-wishing she had brought a hair tie to put the wet mass up instead of leaving the hut without one.

Normally she would have put her hair up in the traditional style all miko preferred, but today she had truly forgotten, her mind too preoccupied with the absent Inugami and the injured Onigumo to remember the subconscious ritual. It seemed trivial given the circumstances.

Folding her wet yukata as small as she could, she put it at the bottom of her basket, and with one last glance towards the village where the unknown boy had run, she turned and set off to collect the herbs she needed for Onigumo. Just thinking about the injured bandit made her sigh. He was sure to notice her wet state and comment on it.

Over half an hour had eclipsed before she made her way back to Onigumo. Because of her rescue attempt, it had taken her longer to return and renewed worry quickened her steps as she recalled the infection Onigumo was starting to show signs of having. She still had to beat the herbs into a sticky solution, the milky substance inside the plant transforming it into a very effective ointment for infections and that took time. She had to hurry. Who knew if the infection was even now spreading, worsening.

Shouts and angry yells grew steadily louder as she made her way to Onigumo. She frowned, then her heart pounded with fear. What was happening? Walking faster, unable to run in the confining kimono, she almost growled in frustration, wishing Sesshomaru was there to slice away at the fabric to make movement easier.

Exiting the forest, several yards ahead was the hut she shared with Onigumo, but dozens of villagers surrounded the small building, angry shouts barely heard above the roar of the flames.

The hut was on fire.

Kagome stood, gaping at the inferno that shot impossibly high into the sky, the smell of smoke impossible to miss. Memories of her Obaasan lying dead in their burning hut, the flames licking at Kagome’s clothes, ready to consume her too in a painful death.

Horror and remembered panic kept her immobile for long seconds as her brown, wide eyes reflected the dancing flames. She moved closer on shaky legs, unaware that she did so, still caught in her memories, unable to break free from the fear that gripped her.

Voices intruded in her chaotic thoughts, shouts and cries echoing in her ear. At first she feared she was back in her village, watching it be destroyed all over again, and the screams she heard where that of the scared and dying.

But no…she could distinguish voices, words and sentences, and none cried out in fear for their lives.   

“Make him pay! Don’t let him live!”

“Despicable man. Die!”

“Kill him!”

“Kill the bandit!”

Kagome blinked, sucked in her breath, her paralysis broken.

“Noooo!” she cried, dropping her burden and running for the burning hut.

“Stop this! What are you doing?!” she screamed, coming up to a heavy set man holding a farming tool high in his hand, dragging on his arm to get his attention.

He scarcely paid her any heed, but he did answer. “We’re giving the bastard bandit what he deserves.” Then he was ignoring her, shouting in malicious joy as the flames shot higher, consumed more of the wooden structure.

This couldn’t be happening, Kagome thought frantically, her wild eyes darting around, looking for some way to put out the flames. There were none.

Eyes settling on the doorway leading into the hut, she saw that the flames had not yet made entry impossible. Without thinking, remembering the flames that had tried to consume her along with her grandmother’s body, she ran towards the opening, but someone grabbed her arms, pulling her back.

“Let me go! I have to save him!”

“What are you doing, you crazy woman? Are you trying to get yourself killed?” roared an unfamiliar, muscular man, shaking her.

“We have to save him,” Kagome pleaded, grabbing onto the stranger, looking up at him with panic filled eyes.

“Are you crazy? Do you have any idea who that man is? He’s a killer! He deserves to die a painfully slow death,” spat the man, who scowled down at her, before confusion crossed his eyes. “Who are you? You are not from around here.”

Ignoring him, she tried to yank free of his grasp, a grasp that turned brutal, painfully tight.

“Onigumo!” she screamed, trying to get to him.

“She’s his wife!” the man holding her bellowed with anger.

He looked around himself, gaining the attention of the villagers around him. “She’s his whore!”

“Let me go!” she cried, trying to get away from his punishing grip.

Others began shouting—at her.

“She’s his wife.”

“His wife”

“Whore!”

“She’s not a miko. No miko would dare marry such an evil man.”

“Kill her!”

“Kill the lying whore!”

Before they could get any closer to her, fire roared out of the open doorway, flashing close to Kagome and the unknown man who held her as they stood too close to the flames.

However, the man was a little in front of her, having moved to keep her contained.

Fire shot out, engulfed his back.

He yelled in shock then pain, his clothes catching fire. Kagome gaped in renewed horror as he released her and ran in mad circles, arms flailing about him the deadly flames raced along his body, over his head, his hair catching fire. His curdling screams were awful to hear.

The other villagers ran away from him when he got too close, afraid to share his fate, but one man wasn’t fast enough. His arm caught fire, and with a shout, he beat at the flames.

As the drama unfolded, other villagers surrounded Kagome, not forgetting who they thought she was—Onigumo’s wife.

A woman picked up a rock, spat, “Stone the bitch!” and threw the rock. The projection hit her left temple, drawing blood, and Kagome almost fell to her knees with a cry of pain.

“Stop! You’ve got it all wrong,” she tried to explain, her arms raised to protect her face, but they wouldn’t listen.

They jeered and scorned her as they picked up more rocks, arms drawn back, ready to throw, to stone her to death.

Kagome had yet to wrap her mind around what was to be a painful death, when self-preservation kicked in, and she cried out for the only man who had ever been there for her to save her from death’s door.

“Sesshomaru!”

Rocks went airborne, and Kagome saw almost in slow motions as they came for her, not realizing rocks came at her from all sides.

Just then, something large dropped from the skies to land just inches before her, and from the corner of her eye, a familiar green beam of light flashed around them, shattering the rocks meant for her.

Panic, fear filled eyes shot up a familiar white and black haori and hakama and gold obi, to crank her neck way back to clash eyes with cool amber. The pupils were shaped like a cat’s, golden eyes, inhuman eyes, regarding her steadily.

“Sesshomaru,” she cried softly, tears in her eyes.

A second later, she was scooped up into his strong arms, and they were airborne, soaring across the sky.

* * *

_Forty-five minutes earlier…_

Onigumo watched as Kagome left the room, heard her rummage around in another part of the hut before leaving. He sat there, propped up against a crate, his body aching, and his thoughts were centered on the remarkable woman who had just left.

Why was he obsessing over this young woman? Did it matter?

He grinned to himself. No, it didn’t matter.

While she was gone, he decided to amuse himself with how he was going to obtain his new prize.

“Kagome,” he whispered, lost in thought.

“Touching. The bandit who fell in love with a miko,” a snide voice whispered with veiled menace.

Onigumo jumped slightly in surprise, then hissed at his fast, unconscious reaction, as pain from his already throbbing wounds screamed at him louder.

“You seem to be in quite a bit of pain, ningen. Perhaps you shouldn’t move around too much.”

Onigumo turned his head towards the doorway, glaring with pent up fury at finding the white devil at his door, literally.

“I am in this sorry state, no thanks to you,” Onigumo spat, remembering how this demon had tortured him, enjoyed inflicting pain on him. He had a strong desire to return the favor and giving this ethereal beast a slow and painful death.

“You were a means to an end. Your part was unavoidable after you converged on the miko’s village.”

Onigumo gazed at him skeptically. “So I’m supposed to believe you assisted the girl for unselfish reasons, to kill the ‘bad men’? Please,” he sneered, “I am not as gullible as she is.”

“You have outlived your purpose, ningen,” the youkai told him without preamble, taking a threatening stop closer, allowing the sun’s rays from the window to reflect on his inhuman eyes.

Onigumo stiffened.

“I do hope you enjoyed your extra days of life, savored them, for I fear it is about to end,” continued Sesshomaru.

“Come to finish me off have you,” Onigumo replied bravely, refusing to cower in front of this beast. “But I warn you, I do not live here alone—“ he began to bluff, hoping to buy some time, to figure out how he was to get himself out of this mess.

“You refer to the miko, do you not?” interrupted Sesshomaru. “Hiding behind a woman’s skirts, now are you?” he taunted the injured human.

Onigumo blinked, then scowled at his own stupidity. Of course this monster would be aware of _who_ shared the hut with him.

“Unfortunately, the miko will be…delayed,” predicted the Inugami, his mind flashing back to when he had commanded one of his underlings, Jaken, to throw a small human child into the river once the miko had journeyed closer, knowing she would do everything she could to save the little boy. She was so very predictable.

Onigumo froze, his breath suspended for several long seconds before he expelled the air in his lungs with a loud, rough exhalation as he asked gruffly, “What have you done to her?”

Fangs appeared as the youkai smirked at him.

“Answer me, vile beast!”

Instead of answering, Sesshomaru cocked his head, regarding him with unblinking eyes. “Do you really think she could ever return your feelings?”

Onigumo blinked owlishly.

Sesshomaru chuckled darkly. “Oh, yes, I am fully aware of how you regard the girl. Romantic really. A man with a brutal past as a child, who grew up alone and unwanted, only then to be recruited by an army who gave him a choice, kill or be killed. Then comes the innocent miko, your savor to turn you away from your wicked deeds and become a better man, for her.”

Onigumo’s face burned, unable to speak.

Correctly guessing his humiliation, Sesshomaru again chuckled, “Oh yes, I have kept a close eye on the two of you.”

“You’re spying on me?” rumbled Onigumo with barely leashed fury.

“You have something—no, someone—of mine, and I wish her back.”

Something clicked in Onigumo’s brain, a shocking thought that had him muttering in surprise, “You have fallen for her, too.”

It was Sesshomaru’s turn to blink in surprise.

Then he scowled when the human dared laugh uproariously. Sesshomaru growled menacingly, but Onigumo merely returned his angered stare with amused eyes.

“A demon who fell in love with a priestess,” Onigumo mocked the youkai with his own words. “You dare claim she could have nothing to do with me? It’s my belief that you refer to yourself.” Making another wild connection, he continued, saying, “You’re here—wanting to kill me—because you’re jealous. I remember,” Onigumo recalled, “that you wanted her to follow you, but she chose to stay with me.”

“I tire of your prattle,” Sesshomaru said emotionlessly, inwardly howling in anger, knowing this worthless ningen was right. However, a gleam of sinister delight entered his gaze, unnerving Onigumo. “Do you hear them yet?” he murmured.

At Onigumo’s confusion, Sesshomaru smirked, flashing his canines.

“Didn’t you know? I’ve invited the villagers to come and pay their respects to Lord Onigumo, a commander of the bandit forces who have been terrorizing the country side recently.”

It was then that Onigumo heard them, shouts and yells of anger, all directed towards him, and here he lay, helpless and defenseless. Ignoring the smug demon, Onigumo looked about himself, trying desperately to think of a way to get himself out of this mess. No ideas were forthcoming. He was about to die, for those villagers did not sound like they wanted him in some jail cell, waiting for the law to take him off their hands. No, they meant to seek vengeance on him.

“No need to rise and meetthem. They won’t be staying. Lie, rest. It will be over quickly,” Sesshomaru said in an almost kind, soothing voice.

Just then, a flaming arrow sailed through the open window and embedded itself in the wall, catching the hut in fire in seconds. Thunks sounded against the hut from outside, and Onigumo knew that more flaming arrows were raining down on the building around him.

They meant to burn him alive, he realized in panic.

Sesshomaru smiled at Onigumo’s desperation. “But not too quickly,” he finished, enjoying the thought of Onigumo dying by fire, a slow and painful death.

Flames licked across the walls surrounding Onigumo, smoke obscuring his vision, making breathing difficult. He coughed violently and yelled at the demon who turned to leave him to this hell. “You think these games will end well for you?! Sooner or later, Kagome will learn of this, learn of your manipulations, and spurn you for the monster you are. You’re a fool if you think you could ever win her over. If you don’t save me know, you’ve already lost her!”

Sesshomaru turned, gazed at him from the corner of his eye, and then turned away from Onigumo, leaving him to die. “Rest in peace, Onigumo,” he mocked before he was gone.

Onigumo’s angered cry howled above the roaring flames, the enraged sound turning into an agonized bellow seconds later.

Sesshomaru felt immense satisfaction at hearing the human’s pain before he dissolved into smoke and rematerialized high up in the sky, away from the elated villagers who cried out in joyous malice as the hut went up in flames.

His anger at Onigumo’s assessment of him and his feelings for the miko dissipated as he continued to hear Onigumo’s tortured cries.

However, a commotion below drew his attention, and he watched the drama unfold as Kagome tried to save Onigumo but was stopped by a brute of a man, who recognized her as Onigumo’s accomplice. He watched with an unfeeling gaze as they shouted incriminations at her and advanced on her with deadly intent.

He allowed her fear and desperation to grow, wanted her to learn a valuable lesson for choosing to go against his decree. However, he couldn’t contain the anticipation that sang through his entire being that soon she would be with him again. All his with no Onigumo to come between them.

Even though he did nothing to stop the rock from hitting the side of her head, he frowned when he saw her obvious pain, the blood that spilled from her wound. Why he cared that she suffered bodily injury, he did not know, but he refused to allow any more harm to come to her. She had learned enough after this.

Before he could move to her side, he was surprised that she called his name for aid. As he moved to intercept the rocks thrown at her vulnerable body, he wondered for a brief second if she had sensed his presence, but that was impossible. He had hid his aura from her. He almost grinned when he realized that she had called out for him instinctively when danger threatened.

Onigumo was wrong. She was already his, whether she realized it yet or not.

He landed before her, used his green whip to disintegrate the missiles aimed at her.

After she whispered his name, gazed up at him with thankful, tear glazed eyes, he felt a swell of satisfaction at her welcome response and picked her up with an arm beneath her knees and the other around her back, and took them to the skies.  

He couldn’t hide the demonic gleam in his eyes or smug smirk that graced his lips when she wrapped her arms around his neck and buried her wet face against his neck, holding him in a desperate grip as if she would never let him go.

She was his, finally back where she belonged—with him—and he would be damned before he allowed another to take her from him. He was far from finished with the little onna.

But all too soon, when she realized that they travelled farther and farther away from the village, she leaned back and shouted, desperation heavy in her cry.

“Wait, Sesshomaru! We have to save Onigumo. I don’t know how, but the villagers found out about his identity. We can’t just let him die like that.”

He cupped the back of her head, returned her face to his neck, and stroked her hair as if he truly cared, and Kagome was too traumatized to realize he was probably playing her like before.

“It’s too late, Kagome,” he answered.

With a muffled cry, she once again clung to him, allowing him to take them far away from a world where seemingly good people changed before her eyes to commit heinous crimes all in the name of revenge. She not only cried for Onigumo’s gruesome end, but for her lost disillusionment.

The world was full of anger and violence, of people killing each other, so she clung to Sesshomaru, hiding her face from the painful reality if only for a little while.   


	16. Warm Embrace

The distraught girl didn’t know where they were going, didn’t look around as they flew through the sky, didn’t feel any fear from being so high up off the ground nor wonderment for flying for the first time; she didn’t care at all. Instead, Kagome closed her eyes, hid her face in Sesshomaru’s neck as tears spilled down her cheeks, wetting his skin as she cried for the unfairness that dwelled in this world.

She wished fervently for the life she had lived for the last fifteen years with her sister and grandmother to return to her. If only this was a bad dream, a nightmare she would soon wake from, but she knew that this was no dream. This was reality, and it was not one she wished to have to bear.

Sesshomaru said nothing as he flew miles away from the village they had just departed, uncaring that the girl cried except, perhaps, mild irritation that she shed tears for Onigumo. He still couldn’t believe that she had chosen the bandit lord over him.

Onigumo had destroyed her village, killed everyone she once knew and cared for, and yet she still wished to help him.

 _“I hate you!”_ he remembered her screaming at him.

Was it possible that she despised him so much that Onigumo seemed like the better option to her?

Sesshomaru gritted his teeth, for this was not the first time his mind dwelled on this question. Yes, she hated him for trying to change her, but there was nothing to change, he inwardly insisted. He merely wanted to open her eyes to the darkness inside of her and show her that she wasn’t the little innocent flower she thought herself to be, that though she was a miko, that didn’t mean she was far removed from selfish human nature. Being a miko didn’t make her better than anyone, didn’t mean that she was faultless, and he was going to prove that to her, and how she thought about the matter be damned!

However, if he was so sure that she was like all the other humans he had come across throughout the centuries, why then did he have a seed of doubt that perhaps she was not like all the rest?

She didn’t want to kill the ones who had wronged her, didn’t want to see a man being burned alive even though she knew him to be a murderer himself.

At that moment, she gave a choked hiccup, and he smoothed her hair at the back of her head in a gentle caress meant to comfort.

Sesshomaru felt like sighing, for she wept—a lot. How many times already had he played the comforter? She was so fragile, easily hurt, and he wasn’t referring to her weak ningen body. She always cried as if her heart was breaking, bearing an immeasurable weight that sought to crush her with despair.

At first, he had thought she wept only for the ones she lost, or in fear, or because she was unaccustomed to the gruesome sight of death, but now he thought it might be something more. Perhaps she shed tears because of the evil he had shown her humans were capable of and didn’t understand how such vile acts were possible, especially when decent people could so easily allow hatred and fear to fuel their actions and commit heinous crimes.

This thought did not speak of a person who allowed the darkness within to cloud his or her mind, but an innocent who thought the good in a person should overcome the darkness.

 _Was she really like the others?_ he wondered. And if she was not, then what did that make her, for he had never—in his long— life stumbled across one such as her, who was innately ‘good’. If she was as she portrayed herself to be, than could he corrupt her? Would he want to?

It was one thing to open her eyes to the demon inside herself and coax it out, making her realize she didn’t have to hide behind a false façade any longer, but it was completely different to corrupt a pure soul as he was beginning to believe she possessed.

He almost growled in irritation. He was doubting himself, _again_ , because of _her_.

How could she possibly be the one exception when every other human he had come across was selfish and self-serving? It wasn’t logical to believe she alone could be any different from all the others.

Or were there others, and he just hadn’t seen it?

If this girl was different, then he had been blind.

How many others had he condemned unjustly?

No! He banished these disconcerting thoughts. He refused to doubt himself, to consider that he might have been wrong.

Focusing his thoughts once more on the task at hand, he flew onward, getting closer to their destination.

Kagome was distraught—for now—but when she calmed down, she might recall her hatred for him and never allow him close to her again. He had to distract her, get back in her good graces if he wished to…what? Corrupt her?

Again his doubts surfaced, but he resolutely banished them once more.

Finally they arrived.

He descended and landed gently upon the grassy ground next to a large boulder, one of many that surrounded the heated waters of the natural hot spring in a small clearing surrounded by the forest.

Kagome had stopped crying by the time they landed and merely rested against Sesshomaru. She purposefully kept her mind blank, her subconscious well accustomed—recently— to allow her to float in a numb, dream-like state.

She didn’t want to think, to remember; she just wanted peace for a little while so she could rest her battered mind from all the atrocities she had had to face since the day she was trapped inside the Inu no Kami’s temple with bandits bent on raping and mutilating her body.

Later, when her mind could heal, she would remember and try to move forward in this world she knew not. She would have to adapt, she knew, or be crushed under the weight. But not just yet. Not yet.

She was barely aware when Sesshomaru set her down in front of him, heard his words, but couldn’t muster the will to respond, to care.

“I’m sure you’d wish to bathe, aijin. The hot springs should warm and relax you.”

When she didn’t respond, barely glanced at the hot water in question, he knew she had retreated into her mind again. Once again he saw how frail her mind was, how innocent she truly was, but he squashed the thought, and reached for her.

Untying her obi with quick tugs, he allowed it to fall unheeded to the ground.

Kagome felt her clothes part and a breeze tickle across the thin line of bared flesh down her body from her parted yukata, and her hands instinctively clutched the fabric together.

Coming out of her haze slightly, she stepped back when Sesshomaru reached for her again.

“What are you doing?”

Was that her voice, so dull and lifeless?

Not allowing her to retreat, Sesshomaru gently, but insistently pulled her clothes off, leaving her naked to his gaze. She gasped in embarrassment, using her arms to try to shield her breasts, but he ignored her slight protests and picked her up in his arms, and carried her to the water’s edge, lowering her slowly into the its warmth.

“My motives are pure, Kagome,” he murmured in her ear as she shiedaway from him, trying to hide her nudity in the clear water. A futile gesture. “I won’t touch you if you don’t want me to, but this will help you. Let me take care of you.”

 _Take care of her?_ she thought dully, eyeing him over her shoulder in disbelieving confusion, but she didn’t fight him. It seemed like too much effort. She sighed as the warm liquid swirled around her body like a warm blanket. When standing, it reached her waist, so she sat at the edge, and rested her back against the heated rocks.

She closed her eyes, feeling oddly calm, and if memory tried to slither into her conscious, she forced it into the back recess of her mind for now.

She was jerked out of her peaceful mood when she felt the water ripple around her. Her eyes popped open, and before her stood a nude Sesshomaru, walking towards her in all his masculine glory.

His genitals almost at eye level, it was impossible not to see them. She blinked owlishly before squawking and turning away, flushing. However, she’d had enough of a view in those few seconds to note that he was aroused—which intimidated her—because he was huge, making Onigumo’s shaft look small in comparison.

She heard him chuckle, the sound seductive.

“Calm yourself, aijin. I cannot help the way that part of me responds to the sight of a beautiful, naked woman, but I won’t do anything you don’t want me to.”

“Why not be considerate for once and allow me to bath alone in privacy?” she replied in a high voice.

She felt his finger under her chin lifting her head, and she couldn’t help but open her eyes. He was kneeling before her, still much taller than she, as he captured her gaze with his own. She was captivated by the almost tender expression she saw in his eyes.

“I am trying to be considerate if you’d only let me,” he told her softly.

Before she could respond, his left hand reached for her face, and she flinched when his fingers lightly brushed against the wound on her temple. She was unable to dwell on how she had received the shallow cut, because Sesshomaru used the hot water and his gentle touch to clean away the dried blood.

It stung slightly, but she didn’t stop him, soaking up his tenderness like a sponge. This was what she needed, a gentle touch and comforting presence. Kagome didn’t question his motives, taking solace in from the Inugami, the fact that he was there.

Then he was pulling on her arm, gently dragging her away from her spot against the rocks and moved behind her. When he settled her between his thighs, his chest against her back, inner thighs on the outer sides of hers, and his erect shaft an imposing presence low on her back, tension shot instantly through her.

They both were naked. All that bare flesh moved and glided against each other, lighting a fire in her blood she recognized all too well.

She tried to pull away, but he wrapped his arms around her middle, just beneath her breasts, his forearms pressing against the lower half of her round bosom, stopping her.

“Sesshomaru…” she protested in mortification, clutching his forearms in a tight grasp.

She felt him rest his cheek atop her head.

“Calm yourself, Kagome,” he breathed softly. “I shall not take advantage of our nude state despite the condition of my body. It is harmless and has a will of its own. I can’t control how I thicken and harden any more than you can breathe.”

Unable to respond past the embarrassment choking her at his words, she decided to say nothing at all and sat stiffly against him, wary.

However, as the minutes passed and he did nothing more than hold her, she gradually relaxed and was once again comforted by his presence.

Unable to help herself, she whispered, “You came back.”

“Were you waiting for me?”

And like that, the dam broke, releasing the memories of the burning hut, Onigumo’s tortured screams, and the angry shouts of the villagers.

Almost as if he sensed her inner turmoil, he leaned down and kissed her left temple.

Desperately wishing to keep the memories at bay just a little longer, she turned to him and clumsily pressed her mouth against his, intending to kiss him, but her mouth fell short, and her lips fell to the corner of his mouth.

A small sob escaped her.

Wordlessly, understanding what she needed from him, Sesshomaru cupped the back of her head with his left hand, positioning her, and claimed her lips in a heated kiss.

She responded with more eagerness than experience, opening her mouth for his invasion and boldly met his thrusting tongue with her own.

Her ardor had surprised him, but he didn’t question her actions or hesitate to take what she freely offered. By her desperation, he guessed correctly that her protective, numb shell had collapsed, but she didn’t want to face the demons plaguing her mind and sought distraction, to lose her senses in desire.

He was amused by her reasons in finally seeking intimacy with him.

He cared not that she was using him in a way because his need for her was strong. Being away from her for those few days while she nursed Onigumo had been maddening. He wished to stamp his claim on her somehow, to make her his. Never again did he want her to turn from him and choose another man before him, in any way, ever again.

Though she was hurting, needed comfort, his kiss was not gentle. He may fake gentleness for her when she was distraught and cried on his shoulder, but in this, he would not tamp down his desire but give her all of his raging passion and force her to respond in kind.

Moving the back of her head to his shoulder while he continued to plunder her dark cavern, he couldn’t seem to get enough of her heady taste.

Seconds later, he freed both of his hands so he could cup her breasts.

She didn’t stop him when he thought she might. Instead, she made the most erotic, feminine sound his ears had ever heard.

However, soon her hand was cupping his jaw as she tried to remove his mouth from her plump lips.

“Can’t breathe,” she whispered, panting for air as she gazed into his eyes with lowered lids.

She wasn’t denying him as he thought she was attempting to do, and he groaned low in his throat as he kissed her cheek. Moving his mouth to her jaw, he nibbled on the bone gently as he pinched her nipples between his thumb and forefinger. 

He hissed in a sharp breath as her ass ground against his erection when her back arched beautifully, as she cried out softly in surprised pleasure from his touch.

Before she could move, he kept her back arched as he gently tugged on her hardened nubs, knowing it would add to her pleasure.

Kagome writhed against his powerful frame when he allowed her to settle against his chest once more as he pinched, pulled, and rolled her nipples between his expert touch. She had never thought the little nubs could be the source of so much pleasure. It was maddening, and she never wanted it to stop.

She forgot why she had encouraged him, thought only of the need that built unbearably under his masterful hands.

When his hands moved to her hips, she moaned low in denial, not wanting him to stop.

Instead of heeding her silent entreaty for more, he lifted her, turned her, and she willingly straddled his hips. Sesshomaru wanted to look at her face, into her passion glazed eyes, and settled her over his lap. His erection pulsed between them, drawing her attention.

The hot water did nothing to hide him from her gaze, and without thinking, curiosity got the better of her, and she reached down to grasp his thick shaft.

He was not ugly to her as Onigumo had been; though why she thought different of this male’s length, she could not fully say. She was slightly surprised it felt hard, yet silky smooth all at the same time. Tentatively, she tightened her grasp gently, wishing to test its firmness even though her small hand could not fully wrap around him.

He groaned, the sound vibrating out of his chest.

Fearful that she had hurt him, she snatched her hand back, about to apologize, but his larger hand grabbed hers, and returned it to his shaft.

“Don’t stop,” he rasped, their eyes meeting.

Encouraged by his obvious enjoyment, she never broke eye contact as he showed her how to please him by moving her hand upon him in pumping motions.

As she mastered the strokes, he let go of her hand, allowing her free reign.

The tip was softer than the rest. Curiously, she tightened her fist around the head and felt him shudder and make that sound again that did strange things to her heartbeat.

Their eyes met again.

“Am I hurting you?” she whispered.

“Yes, but not in the way you are thinking.”

Then she felt his hand graze her inner thigh, her only warning, before he cupped her between her thighs, touching her most secret place. She instinctively tried to close her thighs, to stop him, but his hips impeded her movement. She had forgotten that she was straddling him, unable to close her legs.

Before she could make any further—obvious—objection, lithe fingers caressed the petals of her sex, surprising her with instant pleasure.

Her hand had stilled around his girth, but with a silent thrust of his hips, she was reminded of her earlier exploration. Taking the silent hint, she began stroking along his shaft again, all the while she panted for breath as Sesshomaru touched her where no man had before.

Just like her nipples, he was teaching her how ignorant she had been about her own body, but what he did next went one step further. He pinched her gently, causing her to jerk, gasping in surprised pleasure before his thumb found her nub, and showed her she could experience even more ecstasy.

Unconsciously, she tightened her fist around Sesshomaru’s erection, heard him growl fiercely over her own cries.

He took his hand away from her moist folds and removed her hand from his flesh before grabbing the back of her thighs, lifting her, positioning her core over his length.

When she felt the head brush her entrance, Kagome froze.

What was she doing?

Reality came crashing back as fear set in.

_He’s too big!_

Before Sesshomaru could make them one, the girl started to wiggle, struggling against him, breaking the alignment of their sexes.

“No! Wait, Sesshomaru,” Kagome said frantically.

Pleasure fled in the face of her fear of his size and the unknown. He couldn’t do this! She was a miko, subjugated to remain pure unless by some off chance she was able to take a husband. She hardly knew him, this man who was more beast than the latter.

Mortification at her boldness surfaced, killing the last bit of her desire. She did the only thing she could do. She pushed at his shoulders, banged her fists against his chest, and tried to wiggle away.

“Calm down, Kagome,” Sesshomaru commanded, surprised by her actions, confused as to why she would call a halt _now_. He had been so close to delving inside her virgin body, to feel her delicate flesh hold fast to his aching shaft in wet, soft warmth.

But she refused to heed his words, continued to try to escape his arms. He realized that he would not be able to convince her to continue with what she had started in this frantic state without raping her, and he refused to take what he sought for her to freely give.

Angered that she had aroused him to such a state yet refused him satisfaction in the end, Sesshomaru had to bite his tongue to stop himself from unleashing his sexual frustration out on her and antagonize her for starting this interlude between them.

Instead, he grudgingly released her, watched her stumble off him and run, heedless of her nudity, out of the water.

But he was faster.

With narrowed eyes, he appeared before her, capturing her in his arms before she could reach her clothes.

“Let go, let go!” She struggled against him.

“I will not force you,” he growled, the sound fearsome and deadly, stopping her struggles instantly. She looked up at him with wild, fear filled eyes.

Sighing, he led her to his clothing and gave her his white outer haori.

“Here, take this. Your clothes are soiled. Until we find you more suitable wear, this will have to surface.”

Dumbfounded by his generosity, grateful that he did not press her to finish what they had begun in the hot spring, Kagome mumbled her thanks, and quickly adorned the proffered clothing.

Both dressed in silence, aware of the other’s presence, but neither spoke, deep in thought.

Feeling awkward and shy, Kagome wasn’t sure how she would approach Sesshomaru as they were both finally presentable, but she needn’t have worried. He spoke first.

Coolly, he said fatefully, “Do you still wish to find your sister?”

 


	17. Renewed Purpose

The awkwardness Kagome had felt not seconds ago, vanished in the echo of Sesshomaru’s unexpected words. Hope, a fickle thing, filled her chocolate brown eyes, spreading across her whole expression in seconds.

“You know where she is?” whispered Kagome in a hoarse voice, gazing up at him with longing, not realizing that she did so. 

Kikyo.

If she could just find her, fall into her maternal embrace, and confide in her the horrors she had seen, then everything would be alright. She didn’t have to face this corrupt world alone, not with her strong sister by her side to help guide her. She wouldn’t have to fear anymore, because Kikyo would be there to take care of her, teach her how to survive in this strange place she had found herself in.

Sesshomaru didn’t look away from the naked expression in the girl’s eyes, saw far more than she probably realized. She had always been an open scroll to him, her face—especially her eyes—giving away her thoughts at any given moment.

Sometimes, he could not understand them, for a human could feel so much more than a demon such as he, but the longing in her gaze could not be mistaken.

He felt cheated by that expression, angered that another could cause such need in the girl, for he found he wished she would gift only him with this degree of stark want. That she desired another’s company so greatly, someone other than himself, rankled.

She was his now for as long as the contract was in effect. She had no business looking to another for anything while he was around.

He was very possessive, territorial of that which was his, and she undoubtedly was.

Sesshomaru ignored the newfound feelings she inspired in him and attributed his rising jealousy to the fact that now—while they shared a binding contract—she was his until he released her. Only his.

Perhaps it was not such a good idea to find the missing mortal, for wouldn’t Kagome’s loyalties waver when under the influence of her elder sister? Was Kikyo not a priestess, also? A powerful one, he recalled. No match for him certainly; however, would Kagome wish to try to escape their blood vow through the help of her sister?

Uncertainty filled his mind.

The blood rite was weak, incomplete. She was unaware of this fact, but he was not.

The girl took a small step towards him, her hands clasped over her chest, while a beseeching expression crossed her face. “Please, Sesshomaru. Do you know where my sister is? You must take me to her. She—she’s all I have left.”

Sesshomaru watched—unfeeling—as a tear fell from the corner of her right eye, sliding down her cheek.

Another tear.

Again she wept.

She had never wept for him.

Cold calculation filled his mind.

“I do not.”

Brown eyes went dim.

Face fallen.

Hope dashed.

 _This Kikyo obviously means the world to her_ , thought Sesshomaru. _Then perhaps I can use this to my advantage._

Sesshomaru had to force himself not to grin at the thought, a scheme forming inside his insidious mind. It was obvious his miko believed her elder sister could do no wrong, could conquer any disaster. What if he corrupted that image?

But how?

No matter. He had time to contemplate such a scheme. Kikyo was not yet found.

Sesshomaru took a step towards the girl. Her head was downcast, so she did not see him approach until he was inches from her. She lifted her gaze to his face, but his arms were already folding around her slight built, drawing her close to the heat of his body.

She stiffened instantly, probably remembering what they had recently shared in the hot spring.

“Sesshomaru, what—“

Interrupting her before she could struggle against him again, he said, “But I can find her for you.”

Her hands pressed against his chest as she tipped her head back so she could look into his eyes, hope sparking to life in her gaze again.

“Can you? How? The bandits—“ she stumbled across the words, obviously remembering their demise at his hands. “Onigumo…he—he said…” turmoil was evident in her expression, for she was recalling how he, too, had died, by fire.

He was patient with her, didn’t interrupt again, or prompt her, didn’t make it easier for her. However, he held her close, offering the comfort of his presence, of his warm body pressed so close to hers in a semblance of an embrace.

She swallowed, forced herself to forge on. “Kikyo wasn’t at the neighboring village. They were our only means to find her. Without them…”

“We do not need their aid,” murmured Sesshomaru. “All you have to do is rely on me, Kagome.”

Kagome shook her head in despair. It was hopeless. Speaking her thoughts aloud more than to him, she said, “We can’t just move about the country side, searching every village near our own. Most are probably destroyed, the people fled or killed. How can we find her in all this chaos?”

He lifted her face with a curled finger under her chin, gently forcing her to look at him.

“That will not be necessary. I had already planned another means in finding your sister should Onigumo fail to locate her for us. All is not lost.”

Her eyes widened and she clutched his haori in her small fists. “You did? What? Tell me?!”

“We will return to your ruined village,” he began, noting instantly that she did not like this idea, didn’t want to see the charred remains of all she had lost again, but he continued. “There, I will be able to cast a spell, a very powerful one, that will assist us in locating her.”

“Why didn’t we do that before?” wailed Kagome, wanting to shake him in frustration. “We could have found her a long time ago, but days have already gone by. Anything could have happened to her during that time. What if she’s hurt? What if she’s in danger?”

Kagome was working herself towards anger during her tirade, her expression no longer lost or hopeful, but filled with wrath directed towards him.

“She would have been found by now if it hadn’t been for your insistence to teach me revenge. Obviously, that didn’t work out the way you planned,” she sneered.

At that moment, Kagome recalled everything, that she had the devil’s contract with Sesshomaru—no, this Inugami—and that he cared nothing for her. She was less than dirt beneath his boot.

Sesshomaru could see the hatred in her eyes as she shoved away from him, and he let her. He had been silent all through her enraged speech without defending himself. Strangely, he was reassured by her hatred, for didn’t that mean she was as corruptible as any other human? Surely, she was not so special.

Again she wished to spar with him verbally? Had she not learned in the past that he could twist anything she flung at him with half-truths and flat out lies?

Child’s play.

“Before you condemn me beyond possibility of redemption, there are two facts you are under the wrong impression of.”

The girl glared at him, obviously not wanting to hear what he had to say in her anger, but she did not storm off and allow her emotions to rule her actions. She was slowly learning not to allow her feelings to rule over logic, he mused. A small improvement but not much of one, he thought wryly.

“And what’s that?”

Kagome hesitated, recalling her inner reflections she had had when she had lain awake, alone in her room in that rundown shack she had shared with Onigumo. She remembered that she had accused Sesshomaru unfairly in the past, had vowed never to do so again, and if she was given another chance to be with the Inugami, she would prove to him that not all humans were bad. Was she doing it again? Guilt slowly worked its way inside her breast as she waited for his answer.

Sesshomaru noticed the slight change in her expression, her body language, as both changed, shifted, and became less aggressive, more uncertain.

He could have smiled.

She was learning even if she was being deceived by a master.

“First off, you continue to blame me for abiding by my end of the contract you agreed to.” He saw her stiffen at the reminder. “You may be young in years compared to me, but you are old enough to make your own decisions. You chose, of your own free will, to agree to the pact I stipulated. Despite how our contract came about, you had given your word, and yet you continuously blame me for a choice that was yours to make. I did not have to save you from those bandits. It was not I you were calling to for aid. Nothing, _nothing_ in this world is free, and yet you complain.”

“Alright all ready. I get it,” she almost shouted gruffly, emotion clogging her throat.

He was right. Everything he said was true. And yet she blamed him. It hadn’t been his fault that she had been threatened by bandits. He didn’t know her; she wasn’t his responsibility. And yet, for whatever reason, he had saved her. She didn’t lie to herself. If he hadn’t been there, horrible things would have happened to her before she was murdered.

“I know you’re right, Sesshomaru,” she admitted. She shook her head, not at him, but at herself. Then she flung her head back, her hair flying behind her as she met his gaze, this time without anger but sorrow. “I realized, finally understood, that I had been acting like a spoiled child who wasn’t getting her way. I told myself I would do better, be better, but it seems I have fallen into a bad habit. But I’ll do better,” she quickly reassured, and he couldn’t help but believe her after seeing the conviction in her eyes. “Be patient with me, if you can. I am learning. So…I’m sorry, truly I am, for treating you so unfairly.”

 _So innocent, so naive, so very easy to manipulate,_ thought Sesshomaru, pleased to see that returning to her good graces was much easier than he had previously thought.

“You are young, impulsive,” he dismissed good naturedly.

Kagome was surprised about his nonchalance. Wasn’t he angry that she had treated him unfairly again?

Not sure what to say in the face of his easy acceptance of her faults, she asked, “Ahh…what—what was the second thing you wanted to inform me about?”

Kagome felt…disheartened. She had failed, already. Barely in his presence for five minutes and she was already proving herself no better than any other human Sesshomaru thought them all to be. How was she to show him differently if she was already messing up?

Failure sat heavily on her and he had only given the one out of two reasons he had not found Kikyo by now. Why did it hurt so much? Why did she care to this extent?

“Yes, secondly, the spell is draining,” Sesshomaru informed her. “It is powerful magic most creatures are unable to perform. But, I can,” he stated proudly. “However, if I could avoid expending such unnecessary energy for doing you a favor, which I get nothing out of,” he reminded her, making her feel smaller, “then I will exhaust any other possible means first.”

“And I thank you for doing this favor for me,” she quickly interjected, lest he believe otherwise, considering her less than mature behavior recently.

He nodded his head in acknowledgment to her gratitude.

“So…” Kagome began hesitantly, floundering under his intense gaze, wishing desperately to know what it was that he was thinking, fearing that she had—once again—lowered his opinion of her. “What is this spell you were referring to? Is it dangerous?”

He lifted his brow as if silently challenging her, daring her to doubt his ability in performing such a task.

Eyes wide, she quickly added, “I mean, you said it was powerful magic, right? I don’t doubt you can do it, but I wasn’t sure if it was dangerous and might…hurt you?”

He gave her that sexy smile of his that always did strange things to her heartbeat. “Worried about me, aijin?”

Ignoring that nickname she despised, not wanting to fight with him again, not when he was willing to do her a huge favor, she simply said, “Yes,” and blushed.

He walked towards her with a look in his eyes that made her heart trip in her chest, but she didn’t retreat, but stood her ground.

He grinned when she stiffened her spine and lifted her chin when he halted inches before her. She knew he was silently laughing at her show of backbone, however, his mocking manner comforted her. It was so familiar. She had missed him when he was gone.

He tenderly cupped her cheek, but she knew he felt no real affection for her. She wasn’t naïve, but right now, that didn’t seem to matter, because he was here. However, she gave him a look that clearly stated she knew what he was doing and she wasn’t about to fall for it.

Amusement danced in his inhuman eyes as he correctly read her silent message. He leaned down but stopped a hair’s breadth away from kissing her.

She waited, refusing to breach that small gap between them, though her body screamed at her to do just that, remembering how it felt to have his mouth on hers.

Untamed passion.

Uncontrollable desire.

She would be consumed by him if she allowed it. Part of her wanted to, but she forced herself to remain firm. She was not a faceless conquest. She had duties that came before her wants, and he would not distract her from her goals. To find Kikyo and to prove to him that not all humans were sick and twisted.

“Why do you deny the passion between us, aijin?” he murmured, his breath lightly brushing her lips with warm, moist air. “There is nothing wrong with taking pleasure where one can find it.”

Swallowing hard under the force of his sexuality, of her answering response, she whispered, “This discussion is not up for debate.”

She licked her lips, tasting his breath.

His eyes locked on her tongue’s movements, her lower body tightening in need.

“Is that so?”

“When I want your advice, I’ll ask for it.”

Then she purposefully stepped away from him.

“Now, if you don’t mind, what was this spell you mentioned? Shouldn’t we get started?”

He chuckled. _Run while you can, little mortal. But soon, make no doubt, I will catch you._


	18. Dark Magic

Instead of answering her question about how the spell worked, Sesshomaru said, “First we must return to the last location your sister was last seen.”

“The neighboring village from our own,” Kagome whispered, not liking to be reminded of all that she had lost.

“Then that is where we must go.”

“Um…” Kagome hesitated, uncertain.

Sesshomaru leveled her with a questioning gaze but remained silent.

“How are we getting there? Are we walking?”

She recalled how he had flown them through the sky when he had saved her from the villagers earlier that day, but she also recalled another day, another conversation with Sesshomaru. When he had insisted they walk to meet up with Onigumo’s forces instead of using his demonic speed and abilities, she had been petulant about his choice. Sesshomaru had obviously been in a hurry so that they would intercept the bandits, but had made no move to get there as quickly as possible. In answer, he had given her a firm set down, telling her it was not always wise to take the easy road.

If he insisted they make the return journey on foot, she wasn’t about to argue even though she dearly wanted to find Kikyo as fast as possible.

Instantly she saw comprehension in his golden hues, hearing the words she had not voiced.

“No, we will not be.”

She sighed in relief and offered him a small smile of gratitude. “So we’re flying? How do you do that anyway?”

Since she had been too numb to really enjoy the phenomenal experience of soaring through the air, she found that she was excited—if a little apprehensive—to fly again.

A strange gleam entered his eyes. “In a way, yes.”

Confused, she said, “I don’t understand.”

“You will,” he promised.

His cryptic reply only made her more nervous.

He took a step towards her, closing the distance between them.

She took a step back at the predator gleam in his eyes before she could stop herself. 

Then he walked around her.

She blinked in confusion, feeling the borrowed sleeve of her haori rustle as he glided past her—so close. Before she could follow him with her eyes, she felt him at her back. She stiffened. He didn’t touch her, but his warmth spread across her back.

His silken hair fell over her right shoulder, spilling across her breast, and her eyes were drawn to the silver strands.

His breath ghosted across her cheek. She could see him from the corner of her eye. She couldn’t move, struck immobile when his moist, hot breath moved down to her throat, and she heard him inhale, breathing in her scent.

“I smell your unease, aijin,” he murmured darkly, sensuously. “Do not be afraid.”

She shivered, unable to control her body’s response to his nearness.

“I’m not,” she said barely above a whisper.

She felt his lips, like a gently breeze, caress the side of her neck, over her pulse. He spoke while his mouth moved butterfly soft against her flesh, heating her blood.

“Your heart is pounding.”

She felt her eyelids lower at the low, rough timbre of his voice, reawakening the ache deep inside her body she knew to be her own arousal.

“Not from fear,” she couldn’t help but reveal under his sensual spell.

Why were they whispering? In fact, why was she panting, reacting so strongly to him when he had barely touched her?

He curled around her back, the side of his face pressed against the side of her head, one hand gently clasping her left hip, while his other arm wrapped snuggly around her waist, plastering her back against his chest.

“No, not from fear,” he agreed, chuckling darkly.

Then she felt energy, a strong surge of Sesshomaru’s youki surround them. His demonic aura didn’t harm her. Her reiki remained dormant, not threatened by the beast who held her so closely.

Sesshomaru surrounded them in a ball of pure, controlled, demonic energy before lifting off the floor and racing through the sky.

From the ground, if a human chanced to gaze up, all he would see of the two companions would be a light blur. Youkai, however, with some power at their disposal, would be able to see a sphere as it travelled through the air at impossible speeds, but none could see who travelled inside the ball of demonic energy.

However, the occupants inside the sphere could see clearly. At least Sesshomaru could. Though the wind didn’t buffer them, Kagome grew dizzy quickly when the world around them sped by, blurring before her eyes. She turned, eyes closed, and pressed the side her of her head against Sesshomaru’s chest.

Understanding her problem, Sesshomaru gently turned her in his embrace, allowing the girl to hide her face in his chest.

Ever since she had been returned to him, Sesshomaru couldn’t stop himself from touching her, feeling a strong desire to have her near. He couldn’t explain it, didn’t understand why, but he silently dared anyone to take her from him again.

Next time, he would stop whoever tried before she could possibly leave his sight.

She was like a drug, an addiction he couldn’t get enough of. If he allowed himself to think too heavily on the reason behind his obsession, he would never come to a conclusion that would make sense to him, so instead he focused on enjoying having her near.

He didn’t yet realize, like all addictions, no matter how sweet and satisfying it was, it could also be poisonous, deadly.

Their journey was relatively short. What should have taken them nearly an entire day, took less than an hour.

When Sesshomaru set them safely on their feet, Kagome leaned back, blinked a few times, before tilting her head back to look up at him in awe at his abilities.

“That was…” Kagome began, halting, not sure what to call that strange ride. _Thrilling? Intriguing? Frightening?_

Sesshomaru gifted her with a small, cocky grin, the point of one fang flashing.

Realizing she was still plastered against his chest, she tried not to blush and pushed against him, testing to see if he would release her. He did, readily. Why did that disappoint her?

She took a couple steps back and looked around her. What she saw brought sadness to her heart.

“Is this the village?” she asked him, though she already knew.

“Yes.”

All around them were the charred remains that once housed the villagers, long gone or dead. Birds of prey slunk around, on the ground or flying in the sky, investigating the rotten and decayed carcasses, picking at them with their deadly beaks, eating what once had been life.

“How awful.”  

The dead had not been buried, but left to rot in the sun and eaten by carnivores.

Sesshomaru made no comment to her words, gazing around him with unfeeling eyes.

Kagome tensed, something evil slithering across her senses.

Before she could voice her worries to her companion, Sesshomaru’s youki flared, sending out strong waves of pulsing energy throughout the village. A warning of his presence.

Kagome heard horrendous shrieks, the sounds making her jump in surprised shock and fear. Small level youkai emerged from the village’s remains, fleeing, running from the powerful presence that had warned them off, demanded they leave or perish.

Kagome watched Sesshomaru from the corner of her eye. _Just how powerful is he?_

“It is time.”

Kagome jumped at the sound of his voice, amber eyes turning to meet her stare.

“Uh, right.”

Excitement thrummed through her body at the thought that they were about to find her sister.

“What do we have to do?”

“The spell is a type of conjuring,” began Sesshomaru. “I will summon the image of your sister, manipulating time through an illusion. By calling the past, we will be able to see what occurred. When we find the image of your sister, we follow her trail.”

Kagome had never heard of such a spell, but it sounded powerful, impossible to accomplish, however, she didn’t say as much, not wanting to voice her doubts and anger Sesshomaru. If he thought this was the only way to locate her sister, then she wasn’t about to discredit him.

“How long ago was she here?” Sesshomaru asked her.

“A week ago.”

Sesshomaru nodded once.

“How does the spell work? What do we need to do?”

“The best way to find the one you seek, you must have a drop of their essence, blood, a strand of hair, or something personal, such as a comb, a weapon. However, in this case, we have neither. The next best thing is the blood of a close relative, the closer the family ties the better.”

Kagome blanched. “You need to use my blood?”

Sesshomaru raised his brow, silently asking her if she had a problem with that.

“How much?”

Though Kagome wasn’t at all sure she liked the requirements necessary for the spells activation—for blood should never be used lightly in magic, especially dark magic one knew nothing about—she would trust Sesshomaru and allow him to do whatever he thought necessary to locate Kikyo for her.

“Coming from the person directly, not much, but since you are not she, more will be required.”

Seeing the hesitancy in her eyes, guessing correctly at the worry she hid, he said, “You have nothing to fear, aijin. This spell will have no lasting, harmful effects on you, despite the blood requirement.”

She believed him even though she had many reasons not to.

She nodded her head. “Alright. Let’s do this. What do I have to do?”

Without answering, he stepped close to her and gently took her wrist in his large, clawed hand. Raising her slim arm, he bent his head until his lips brushed across the pulse at her wrist.

Finally he answered. “You must bleed.”

Without waiting for her reply, he struck, sinking his sharp canines into her fragile flesh.

She gasped in pain, her whole body gone tense from the white, hot agony of his none too gentle bite.

Sesshomaru almost groaned when the taste of her life giving blood coated his tongue. He wanted nothing more than to suck, to draw her essence inside his body, almost did just that, but now was not the time to sample her, no matter how he craved it.

His bite lasted no more than a few seconds before he retracted his fangs.

He continued to hold her wrist even as her blood welled and spilled over, dripping onto the ground to be soaked up by the greedy soil.

She met his gaze when she finally realized he had yet to release her.

That was what he had been waiting for.

Sesshomaru licked his blood stained lips, making her watch him taste her essence.

Kagome should have been repulsed, would have been had the blood been from any other source. Instead, watching him enjoy her blood heated her body, aroused her instantly. She was shocked, dismayed by her reaction, but it was undeniable.

His nostrils flared and she knew he could smell her interest. She blushed.

Right before she was about to yank her arm back, he kissed her wrist, right below the wound. Her fingers curled in pleasure even while her wound throbbed with pain.

“Do not move,” Sesshomaru instructed her as he continued to hold her wrist, allowing her blood to drip to the ground.

Kagome nodded silently, never taking her gaze from him, curiosity overcoming her embarrassment. What was he about to do?

Again she felt his youki swell, pulsing around them in a demonic display of power.

“Speak you sister’s full name while I recite the incantation, aijin.”

Kagome did as instructed when she heard Sesshomaru speak in a strong, commanding voice in a language she could not name. It sounded dark, hypnotizing.

Again, though his demonic aura shivered across her skin, her spiritual powers did not rise to strike out at the evil force as if knowing he meant her no harm.

Unnatural clouds formed around them, light at first, barely there, but the haze thickened, blinding them to their surroundings. Green, jagged strikes of lightning arched around them, so close, Kagome could have reached out and touch them, but she dared not. The hairs on the back of her neck stood on end as grumbling thunder echoed around them.

All the while Kagome continued to say Kikyo’s name while Sesshomaru continued speaking in that strange, unnerving language.

When his voice rose louder, more commanding, she unconsciously raised her voice as well. Their voices spoke above the unnatural storm that slithered around them, making a strange eerie sound as if their words bounced back to them.

Then when Sesshomaru spoke Kikyo’s name loudly, Kagome somehow knew she should stop chanting.

Kagome didn’t know what to expect when the lightning dissolved, the thunder quietened, and the clouds faded.

Looking around her, her wrist still bleeding, sluggishly now, but nothing had changed. She still saw the destroyed village. There was no sign of Kikyo anywhere.

Did it not work?

Kagome glanced at Sesshomaru, wanting to ask him if something had gone wrong with the magic, but she didn’t want to seem rude or question his ability to perform the conjuring.

She saw him look around with a small frown on his face before his eyes lowered, meeting her own.

Before she could voice the question she was compelled to ask, he spoke.

“She was not here, aijin.”

Her eyes widened. “That’s impossible. She had to be here! She came to this village to help a pregnant woman give birth.”

“The magic does not lie.”

“Are you sure you didn’t do something wrong?” she asked before thinking, then clammed up when he scowled at her.

“I’m sure.

A thought sprung to her mind and she gasped, fearful for her sister. “What if she was caught on the road coming here? Anything could have happened to her!”

Sesshomaru leveled her with a strange look. “Perhaps.”

“What? What is it?”

“It is possible this village wasn’t her destination.”

“You mean…she lied about where she was going?” questioned Kagome in disbelief.

That was impossible. Kikyo would never lie to her and their obaasan!


	19. One Truth Revealed

Kagome stared up at Sesshomaru in disbelief that only settled more firmly in her heart at his next words.

“It is possible.”

She stared up at the perfection that was his face, those strange markings slashed across skin that looked impossibly smooth and unblemished, pure alabaster without a hint of a mark from age or disease. His hair was like a waterfall of silver, catching the sun, reflecting it, and those eyes of his. They should have unnerved her—used to in fact—but they were far too beautiful in their unnatural hue, the pupil splitting the amber almost in half. She had to remind herself that even though he looked like a deity, he was anything but. Sesshomaru wasn’t perfect, was evil and corrupt in ways she couldn’t even imagine. What was more? He didn’t know her sister, didn’t know how strong and courageous Kikyo was, how kind and compassionate she was towards others.

Though her sister could be stern and focused, her personality usually serious, Kikyo was no liar. She would never tell her or their Obaasan an untruth, would never betray or hurt them—or anyone. Kagome’s eyes narrowed as stubbornness tightened her features. Sesshomaru didn’t know Kikyo. He didn’t even know _her_ , and he’d been traveling with her for a few days now. He’d seen nothing but the worst in her, judged her by her human failings without even attempting to delve deeper to get to know the real her. Worse, he didn’t care too, so what would he know about her sister? Nothing. Something had happened to intercept Kikyo from reaching the village, and she was determined to find out what had befallen her—and prove Sesshomaru’s ridiculous claim false.

Kagome wanted to voice a heated defense of her sister to this demon, to inform him just whose reputation he was attempting to ruin, but bit her tongue in time to quall the likely argument that would transpire between them afterwards. Sesshomaru wouldn’t believe her, would discard her words as if they held no true value. It was times like this, when she really looked at him, that she realized just how naïve she could be. She wanted to change him, to show him that she was more than a pitiful human filled with darkness. Was she only fooling herself, being conceited to think she’d ever succeed in such an endeavor? But how could she not try? The familiar arguments flashed through her mind, but right now, she didn’t have the time or luxury to dwell on the matter. She had to find Kikyo, and just maybe she could show Sesshomaru that not all humans were vile, corrupt beings by showing him just who and what Kikyo stood for—the goodness in all men, women, and children.

Taking a deep, fortifying breath, she pasted on a smile and said, “Since we can’t know what happened for certain at this point, let’s go back to my village for our answers.”

After her own words, the smile fell from her lips, despair threatening to cripple her when she realized she would be forced to once again witness the carnage and destruction that had befallen her beloved home—her family and everything within the community gone.

Sesshomaru stared down at the small woman before him, noting how she quickly looked away from him, and it didn’t take a mind reader to know what she was thinking. Even the salty quality of her tears, the scent floating towards his nose on the slight breeze, gave her away, despite her efforts to shield her reaction from him. It took everything in him not to heave a resigned sigh at the realization that she was in tears—again. How many tears could one onna possibly contain? Surely she had wept enough for one lifetime if not two in these past few days? It didn’t make sense to him. Yes, her village, her home, her entire family and friends had been killed and destroyed. However, shouldn’t such circumstances fill any living being with hatred? To then cause them to desire to seek retribution?

And yet, in the aftermath where he had all but forced her to watch as her enemies fell one by one, bathing the soil in their blood, Kagome had not been soothed, had not even wanted their demise. She hadn’t even relished their deaths. What manner of human was she? She had even felt compassion for that Onigumo when she had known perfectly well that the man had been a part of her village’s destruction. He had seen her at her most pitiful, her most hypocritical during their association, which only fueled his sense of rightness in believing she only fooled herself to think that she was just a kind hearted miko. However, like now, he could see her sorrow over the deaths of the deceased, had witnessed her compassion for one who shouldn’t have been granted a seed of her worry.

Could he be wrong? Was there really some good in the world? He dug his claws into the palms of his hands in growing agitation. What he was learning from this onna clashed mightily with his hundreds of years of experience. Humans, any and all being that walked this earth, were filled with selfish desires, their souls tainted in darkness, and yet _she_ had a light within her he had never seen before.

A new thought stiffened his spine. What if she was right? If she did truly possess a pure soul, his actions may very well extinguish something rare in this world. He couldn’t be wrong that the majority of humanity were corrupt creatures, some hiding behind veils of the righteous. He narrowed his eyes contemplatively at the woman before him before he moved to stand within inches of her, noting how her shoulders shook slightly with repressed sobs. Without preamble, he curled her close to his chest, offering not only the comfort of his body, but also took them to the skies with his youki cloud, soaring towards the place Kagome used to call home. If she truly was what she portrayed herself to be, then it was possible he possessed one of the very few phenomena this world had to offer—a human possessing an untainted soul.

A smirk slathered itself across his lips, more a baring of fangs as he tightened his grip around her, a silent warning to all that she was his possession, a jewel to be admired and treasured for its rarity. Without her knowing it, his plans had just shifted. Instead of bringing out the darkness within her, he would be further testing her pure nature just to be sure that what he was beginning to suspect was true. No, it was impossible to draw out her darkness if she didn’t possess it. He could taint her and extinguish her bright light, dragging her with him into the darkness, but why turn a diamond into a rock? No, he wanted her, wanted to bask in her pure light, to revile in the knowledge that he, a demon of darkness, was capable of possessing that which he had no right to even look upon, let alone touch.

He no longer looked forward to ravishing her when her soul blackened, to bask in each other’s darkness for a short time before tiring of her. What he wanted, craved above all things, was to instead ravish her while she yet held her illuminating soul. The ultimate perversion. A chuckle threatened to spill forth from his throat, possession like a living thing clawing at is gut as he was consumed with thoughts of taking the one pure thing from this world and having it for himself. Swiftly, he stifled the laugh, not wishing to upset the woman further or have her guess at his ulterior motives. A dark glimmer reflected from his eyes as his thoughts turned deadly, even more monstrous. Should Kagome fail his tests and prove his new suspicions wrong, she would pray for death before it was granted to her for causing him to doubt himself and thinking she was worth something.

He doubted she understood the precarious position she now found herself in, for a demon would pay, trade, and give much to possess a human with a soul such as hers. While he had no desire to sell her, he did wish to be the envy of all and to gloat to other miko and monks that she was his without them being able to do anything about it. Many from far and wide would come in search of her, to try and take her from him by force if he did not agree to sell her, and he relished the thought of many great battles to come. He’d fight and kill to protect her, and though he doubted he would be able to take her body covered in the blood of his enemies, he grew hard at the thought of taking her after he’d washed up when a battle was won, to lose himself in her silken softness and bright light. His victory, his prize, his conquest.

Soon, they arrived at her village, and he floated over the charred remains, gazing down at the blackened ground, and moved to settle before what he remembered to be where Kagome’s home had been. He did not release her, and she continued to hide her face against his chest, and he knew she had no desire to see the physical proof of her loss again.

Feeling more kindly towards her since he was beginning to believe he held something quite precious and valuable, he decided to show her compassion even though he had never actually felt such emotion. But he’d witnessed it often enough, was quite capable of emulating the actions and voice to deceive her. Lifting a hand to her hair, he stroked her black, silken stresses.

“We’re here, Kagome.”

When she trembled in answer, he lowered his head and nuzzled her temple, and whispered in her ear, his voice laced low, filled with understanding and empathy. “You’ve been through much in such a short amount of time. I know that your heart is filled with sorrow, and I have only added to your pain, but right now, it is not my intent to hurt you further. My only aim is assisting you to find your sister.”

She pulled away from him far enough to look up at him, and he obliged her by moving back slightly to meet her wet gaze. She searched is eyes as if looking for something.

“Do you really mean that?” she asked, her voice hoarse. “Why are you helping me? What could you possibly gain by helping me locate Kikyo?”

Thinking quickly, having already come up with this very excuse should she ever question his motives, he replied, “I left you at the village, alone with Onigumo. You were put in harm’s way, and now I seek to rectify my absence.” 

It seemed she saw far more than he had intended her to.

“Does that mean the contract is broken? You…you left without it being completed one way or the other.”

Almost gently, he answered, not wishing to cause her undue distress. “No, for I had never intended to leave you for long, and in fact, I was watching over you, so I wasn’t really gone. The contract is still in effect.”

“Then why didn’t I sense you? Why didn’t you save Onigumo?”

Figuring he couldn’t always get away with claiming he was not around when danger struck, and he’d be damned before he told her that he had instigated the ningen’s demise, he decided not to even try to go that route—to lie. He took a different approach, more truth than not.

“Must I save everyone who is in danger?”

Since saying such put him in an unfavorable light, he decided against speaking more on the matter and swiftly tried to turn her thoughts on different concerns. It wouldn’t do to turn her once again against him. There was only so much even she would take from him, he had no doubt, before she’d had enough, contract be damned. All he had left to keep her to her word and not break their contract, though she knew it would mean her death, was her sister Kikyo. She wanted her found, was desperate to find word of her, and she only had him to help her in that endeavor.

It was best she remember that, so he said, “Do you still wish to find your sister Kikyo? Only I can locate her for you, but if it is too painful to be here—“

She interrupted him. “No! I mean…” Her small hands tightened on his haori, desperation in her eyes before she forced herself to relax and calm down. “I still wish to find her. Thank you for helping me, whatever your reasons.”

Still, he could see that she was saddened that he had not saved Onigumo and it pissed him off. Why was she so obsessed with that worthless human male’s life? Especially after all that he’d taken from her. They were in the broken ruins of her village, an act led by Onigumo, and still she mourned his passing. Hopefully soon, she would forget the human. It couldn’t be soon enough to suit him.

Nodding his head, he took her wrist in hand as he had before, his intent clear in the gaze he impaled her with. She did not look away. Still, to make sure she did not succumb to her grief, he spoke.

“Keep your eyes on me. Do not look away.”

It was her turn to nod, understanding in her brown eyes, knowing he was attempting to stop her from seeing what remained of her home. Then her eyes softened, as if grateful for his show of kindness. _Foolish mortal_ , he almost grinned. Brushing a small kiss of apology across the wound he had previously made that had barely stopped bleeding, he reopened the wound by sinking his fangs once more into her flesh. He felt the zing of her reiki, a small burn on his tongue, more erotic than painful, scented her heady aroma, and yearned to partake of her essence, but unfortunately, like last time, now was not the time for such pleasures. Besides, it was obvious she did not agree with his inner assessment as she did not find pleasure from his bite—for now. Later, he planned on showing her just how pleasurable his bite could be.

Her blood trickled on the ground, a waste that was unavoidable at present. Once again he began forming the words to the incantation, heard her voice whisper her sister’s name repeatedly, beseechingly. Energy left him as an unnatural fog surrounded them, the same one with strange, green flares of lightning flashing around them, the booming thunder almost louder than the words they chanted. Power pulsed around them, dark and sinister, but oddly enough, like before, Kagome’s reiki did not appear and flare in agitation, as if the woman before him trusted him completely not to harm her. Though she was foolish to continue believing in him after all he had done and said to her, Sesshomaru was nevertheless grateful that she did. If she was indeed one of the few pure souls that walked this earth, she would be his. He would never let her go.  

When the fog began to dissipate, Kagome looked around them hesitantly, not wishing to see the burned buildings and the villagers’ carcasses left in the open for scavengers; however, she had to know if the magic had worked this time. Though she had no idea what she was looking for, a gasp spilled from her lips as she blinked in confusion, looking this way and that. Huts were once more constructed, unburned, and villagers walked the dirty streets, talking and laughing, going about their day as if nothing had happened.

Behind her, the door flap to her home fluttered as someone exited the hut, and a familiar voice had her stiffening, her heart panging painfully in her chest.

“I won’t be gone long, Obaasan. Kagome, take care of things here while I am away.”

“Kikyo!” Kagome shouted, a sob choking any more words that might have come forth as she turned around swiftly, forgetting about the demon at her back as her beloved sister stood before her.

The older woman didn’t turn to her, didn’t act in any way as if she had heard her cry, and adjusted her pack and quiver of arrows on her back to a more comfortable position, before walking away.

“Kikyo, wait! It’s me, Kagome!”

Hand outstretched, Kagome ran towards her sister, and when she tried to grab onto her, her hand went through her elder sister’s back. Blinking in confusion, Kagome stumbled to a halt. First she continued to stare at Kikyo’s retreating back before gazing down uncomprehendingly at her palm. From the corner of her eye, she saw something white and black stand beside her, and Sesshomaru’s voice filtering to her ear.

“Calm yourself, aijin. That is not your sister, at least not anymore. She and everything around her, your entire village, is nothing but an illusion. My magic brought us into a glimpse of the past, just as I told you it would previously.”

Bringing her curled fist to her chest as her heart began to beat painfully, Kagome looked around herself, at her thrumming village, at the people who walked by without seeing them, before landing on her sister’s retreating form once more.

“It’s not real?” she whispered, before the truth of her words struck her like a blow.

Insane laughter bubbled up in her throat and a small chuckle escaped before she could stifle the sound, her palm pressed firmly against her lips. She wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream in despair. Of course this was all an illusion. Hadn’t she seen her village’s destruction first hand? Heard the death cries of the images of the people around her, seen their blood spill onto the ground? How foolish she had been to believe for one second that everything had been unreal, that she’d been stuck in some nightmare only to finally awaken to everything being normal, just the way it had always been.

“Right, of course,” she said when she had her laughter bottled up inside, knowing Sesshomaru probably thought that she had finally lost her mind, and perhaps she had. “We have to follow Kikyo, right? Let’s go before she gets out of sight.”

Before she could take one step, a large palm caught her left hip, an arm wrapped around her shoulders bringing her right side up against a lean, male body. Looking up at Sesshomaru’s profile, she opened her mouth to question him.

He spoke first.

“It will take too long to follow her on foot. Come.”

His youki cloud surrounded their feet, taking them to the air again as he flew over her sister, then something strange happened. With one command from Sesshomaru, in a language she could not place, Kikyo went into a faster pace, much faster. Though it seemed her elder sister continued to walk, time seemed to move at an accelerated rate. Her sister moved towards the neighboring village, but as soon as she was out of sight of her own, she veered off course, heading into the trees. There, a man met her sister. This was no ordinary man, for his hair had the same silver sheen as Sesshomaru’s, the same golden colored eyes she could not miss even from this distance; however, unlike Sesshomaru, this man had dog ears upon his head, signaling his status as a half-demon.

She felt Sesshomaru stiffen beside her, and she was about to ask him if he knew this man who looked so much like him, yet not, but the words never left her lips. In wide eyed disbelief, she watched as the man embraced her sister, saw how Kikyo wrapped her arms around his back, and allowed him to kiss her, deeply, passionately. Still in hyper speed, Kagome watched in silence as the man knelt, offering his back, and Kikyo’s willingness to be carried. Then they were moving quickly through the forest, and Sesshomaru raced after them. He, too, was silent. The significance of that was lost on her as they followed the couple who continued to speed through the trees.

It was only until the couple came to a small cove of trees, rocks forming a circle around steaming water—a hot spring. The beauty of their surroundings was lost on Kagome as she watched with growing understanding as the couple on the ground began kissing in earnest. Once clothes began coming off, Sesshomaru uttered another command which put time back to its regular pace. Kagome wished he hadn’t as feminine moans, heated cries for more, and male groans of pleasure echoed to her ears. Worse, Sesshomaru floated them down for a closer look.

“What are you doing?!” she shrieked, mortified, turning to bury her face against his ribcage.

“Mmm, Inuyasha! Please, more…” she heard Kikyo moan in a deep, throaty voice.

“Oh, God!” Kagome covered her ears with her hands, her mortification turning to horrible understanding as she realized what was happening only feet from her.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at the sight of his half-brother, his father’s bastard, half-breed child. When he had first seen the insolent pup emerge from the foliage to embrace Kagome’s sister, he’d been shocked. He was not pleased to see Inuyasha. He couldn’t care less that the little bastard was a hanyou. Whether one was human, half-breed, or a full-fledged demon had never mattered to him. All were held contemptible in his eyes to some degree. No, why he truly despised the pup was because his great and terrible father died protecting him and his human mother when he’d already been wounded previously in battle from a far greater opponent that had felled his sire. If not for the human bitch and newborn child, placed in mortal danger at a time their father was not at his strongest, Inu no Taisho would not have met such an unsightly and embarrassing demise, killed by a human of all things.

Such an end dishonored the greatness that had been attached to his house’s name. Sesshomaru was fully aware that it was not a babe’s fault, that Inuyasha was not to blame for their father’s choice; however, every time he saw the brat or heard his name, he was forced to recall the shame and ridicule that now followed his family’s name, and he hated it, hated there to be any blemish to such an esteemed house—his house. In effect, he had nothing to do with his younger sibling. Sesshomaru didn’t deny the bastard’s bloodline, didn’t keep him from their ancestral home even though he was within his right to do so as heir and lord, for that would give more room for the gossips to wag their tongues, and he’d be damned if he’d give them one more thing to froth over. As Inuyasha had aged, Sesshomaru had rarely taken up residence in their ancestral home, and when he did, he kept as far away from his brother as he could.

He did not encourage brotherly fondness between them, didn’t want the mutt to look to him for guidance or protection. Thankfully, when Inuyasha aged, he desired to go out into the world, to travel, leaving the castle open for Sesshomaru to reside in at more lengthy intervals. In time it dawned on Sesshomaru that Inuyasha had not been happy in their father’s home. He’d been looked down on and subtly snubbed by other high-ranking demons for his hanyou state, had been gossiped and ridiculed about unmercifully. So he’d left when he was old enough to care for himself. Sesshomaru had not cared, still did not care that so many shunned him, both demons and humans alike. He didn’t even care if the boy thought his elder brother thought the same, that he was nothing more than a worthless half-breed.

Inuyasha was on his own, as he had been left alone as a child growing up, whose father—their father—had been too busy to take much interest in a son who was unable to show love and compassion to even his father and mother. 

Now, gazing at the coupling forms, Sesshomaru smirked, realizing this could be used as yet another test for Kagome, and the perfect opportunity to weaken the emotion ties she held for Kikyo. If he could make her rely only on him, trust no one but him, he would have that much more control over her life, her very existence. Finally, his brother could prove to be of some use to him, if unknowingly. It mattered not.  

He glanced down at Kagome’s dark head.

“Why do you look away, aijin?”

She sputtered before she could choke a few words out, amusing him greatly with her obvious discomfort and embarrassment. “You know perfectly why! They…They’re…”

“Having sex?”

His only answer was an outraged squeak before she stilled when her sister let out another womanly cry. Sesshomaru ignored the fornicating couple, his entire focus on the woman beside him, huddled against him as if she could hide from this revelation about her sister. Just to make sure she was completely aware what exactly transpired before them so that she did not attempt to rationalize the situation away later, he gripped the back of her skull, easily forcing her to face forward despite how she tensed and tried to look away.

Moving behind her, crowding her, he framed her face from behind in the palms of his hands, forcing her to look. He lowered his head until his cheek grazed her own, and from the corner of his eye, he saw that hers were clenched tightly closed. That wouldn’t do.

“Open your eyes,” he murmured silkily.

“No,” she whispered, barely loud enough to be heard.

Moving his hands, modifying his hold, he gripped her chin securely in his left hand while the other drifted lower, his fingers caressing her collarbone, pushing the fabric of her kimono aside so that he touched bare flesh.

“If you do not, I will take you here, beside the memory of your sister allowing my brother to fuck her.”

Too late he realized his mistake.

“Your brother?”

He’d succeeded in getting her to open her eyes, but instead of watching the now naked couple just feet away, she tried to turn her head, to gaze at him in wide eyed shock. He almost cursed. He’d had no intention of making her aware of his close association with her sister’s lover. It was too late to bite his tongue now. However, he had even greater desire not to deter their conversation. His strength was fast waning, the power of the enchantment taking its toll on his body. Even one as powerful as he could not spend limitless energy on such a high-powered spell without weakening.

He yanked her gaze forward just when both Inuyasha and Kikyo cried out. Sesshomaru spared them but a small glance, noticing the half-breed had finally entered his lover and began a quick, pounding pace inside the writhing woman. Going back to nuzzling his nose against Kagome’s temple, he whispered darkly in her ear, both threat and promise.

“Remember when I told you the next time you aroused me, offering your body in blatant invitation that I would continue until we are both sated whether you had a change of heart or not?” He felt her stiffen, either at his words or the image before them, he could not say, but continued speaking as if he whispered tender endearments to her.

“Despite my warning, you again incited my lust by rubbing you naked body against mine, stroking my erection with your own hand. I stopped then when you once more pushed me away without one word of complaint from me. Look away, and I will rectify my past actions in breaking my word, and take you now.”

His hand briefly caressed the swell of her breast, his touch gentle, nonthreatening, and yet the action was indeed sinister in its implications that he would use force if necessary, his touch capable of turning forceful and bruising if she made one wrong move. She tried to shake her head, and since he wasn’t sure if she would ignore his warning or not, he needed her to see this to drive home his intent, so he spoke again, his voice temptation itself.

“Perhaps I was wrong to break my word and leave you innocent…”

At his threat Kagome shouted, “No, wait!” before biting her lip, glancing at the moaning, squirming couple before them as if fearful her cry had interrupted them. Of course it had not, the illusion continuing, retelling the past as if it were happening today—now.

“Please, don’t. I—I’ll watch.”  

Kagome swallowed thickly, cringing at what she thought was a brutal pace the strange, silver haired man was inflicting upon her sister, pounding his male flesh over and over again into Kikyo’s womanhood. She was forced to watch as Kikyo performed an act Kagome had always been told was forbidden of most shrine maidens. What was more, they weren’t married, but that didn’t seem to stop them as Inuyasha began suckling at Kikyo’s breasts as if ravenous.

Remembering how it felt when Sesshomaru had touched her thusly and far too intimately, her body heated, her core pulsing with need to be filled, her womb clenching. Even her nipples hardened as her breathing turned into small pants for air. Oh, God! What was happening to her?! Horrified, Kagome realized that she was _aroused_ by the sight of others performing an act she had only ever dreamed about participating in. She’d always been ashamed when she’d lain awake at night, her body burning for things she had no conception of understanding fully, fearing there had been something wrong with her, for a shrine maiden to have such carnal desire. Reacting to Sesshomaru, desiring to touch and be touched by him had only made her shame grow, and yet here Kikyo was, eagerly throwing away what they had been taught all their lives by their grandmother. They were not meant to partake in the pleasures of the flesh, at least not unless they survived to be middle aged and it was time for a younger woman to take over, to settle down with a man and bring new life into the world, to create another generation of miko and monks. Usually this was the older sibling’s task, not the younger’s.

“Why must I watch?” she asked desperately, wanting to look away, to get as far away from this carnal scene as possible before Sesshomaru realized her body’s betrayal.  

He nipped the shell of her ear, and she gasped lightly, feeling the tiny bite down to her toes, making her arousal worse. It was clear he was all too aware of her body’s response, but she was not alone in her growing lust. She could feel his erection blatantly resting against her lower back. 

“To make you aware of your sister’s deceit. To show you that it is no great sin to succumb to the pleasures of the flesh. Your sister understands this, despite her upbringing that it is not wrong or something to be ashamed of. It is your turn to learn this lesson.”

Heart pounding, but not in fear, she opened her mouth to speak, though she was unsure of what she  would say in response to his words, but Kikyo cried out a feminine sound of completion and unrestrained pleasure, stopping the words before they reached her tongue. Wide eyed, Kagome witnessed how Kikyo’s lover reared back, giving her and Sesshomaru a clear view to their joined bodies and how he pounded into her a few more times before thrusting one last time, shouting his own release.

Her womb spasmed in need, but not for this stranger. No, she lusted after the man behind her, and without conscious thought, her body called out to his, her core weeping for his possession. Kagome refused to heed her body’s desire.

“I’ve seen enough!” she shouted, wrenching her head to the side and closing her eyes.

Sesshomaru allowed her to look away, a small grin curving his lips.

“As you wish, aijin. Let us fast forward through time to locate your sister’s destination.” 


	20. Revelations

At Sesshomaru’s words, Kagome waited a few seconds more, hoping that when next she opened her eyes, her sister would no longer be in such an intimate embrace. Blinking her eyes open, she saw time being fast forward as it had before, and Sesshomaru was already on the move, lifting them higher into the sky on his strange cloud, following the two lovers.

Lovers.

Kagome couldn’t believe she was referring to her own sister with such a…scandalous term. Kikyo was a priestess, just as she was! How could she..? Oh, God. Not again, she internally shrieked, flushing when she noticed the couple were at it again, this time performing the sexual act standing up, half undressed—with Sesshomaru’s brother of all men—pinning Kikyo to a tree. Kagome turned her face away, once again squeezing her eyes tightly shut, waiting for Sesshomaru to begin the torture all over again and force her to watch. She continued to wait, but nothing happened.

He said nothing. Merely held her close to his side with a hand on her hip to make sure she did not fall from her perch. She glanced up at him tentatively. Sesshomaru didn’t even spare her a glance, blatantly ignoring her. What was his deal? One minute he was being provocative and threatening all in the same breath, the next, he acted like she didn’t even exist. Taking a closer look at his face, she noticed a tightness around his mouth, barely discernable, but nonetheless there.

Was something wrong? What was he thinking about?

Right now, it didn’t matter. She’d worry about his strange behavior later. Her first priority was to find her sister. Just the thought of locating her, finding Kikyo alive and well, filled Kagome’s heart with such longing. Did Kikyo know what had happened to their village while she was away with her…lover? If so, did Kikyo think that she had died or fled from the village before the bandits had arrived to ransack the place?

Sesshomaru was having a difficult time hiding his fatigue from the onna beside him, the powerful, time spell finally beginning to take its toll on him. In hindsight, he realized, perhaps, it hadn’t been the best idea to waste time forcing Kagome to watch her sister allow a male—his bastard brother of all men—to fuck her senseless. It took great energy to cast and wield this particular spell. Controlling time in even this small way was strenuous, and even he had his limits. He was fast approaching his. He mentally cursed the couple below them even though they were mere glimpses in the past, not real. He wished they’d hurry up and reveal their location to him.

And what would he do once Kagome was reunited with her sister? The elder priestess would no doubt sense what he was, and if Inuyasha was still sniffing around, he’d most likely inform his lover exactly who he was. Though Sesshomaru was not ashamed of who he was and what he’d done in the past, should Kikyo pass judgment on him and attempt to remove Kagome from his side, there would be a confrontation. He seriously doubted Kagome would be pleased if he hurt her sister in any way, large or small. It was a complication waiting to happen and one he didn’t need. First Onigumo and now Kikyo? They all wanted to take Kagome from him, and right now, he didn’t have a strong enough hold on the onna to assure that she stayed with him for as long as he wanted her. Yes, there was still the contract between them, but there were two problems with that.

One, he no longer wished to kill Kagome if she tried to break her vow, and two… He hadn’t created a true blood contract between them. More blood was needed for the exchange, and he hadn’t had the time to do so, what with the human filth breathing down their necks at the Inu no Kami’s temple. And foolishly, he’d thought it would be unnecessary to make a true contract. Kagome hadn’t—still didn’t—realize it was a farce, and he was using her ignorance against her. Another reason that had stopped him from insisting they forge a true contract was because he hadn’t been able to come up with a good enough reason to exchange the blood necessary for the bond. There was no way Kagome would willingly drink from him, and if she knew there were no real ties holding her to him, she’d run as far away from him as fast as she could without looking back. 

Perhaps it hadn’t been the best idea to offer his aid in locating Kikyo for her…

There was no turning back now. He’d set them on this path, and he had little choice but to see it through and make damn sure Kagome wasn’t stolen away from him. If Kagome truly was the priceless gem he was suspecting her to be, he wanted her for himself—for always.

Finally, the couple below returned to the sisters’ village. Considering Inuyasha followed Kikyo into the village instead of keeping his presence secret, he had scented the burnt buildings and the stench of old blood and rotting corpses. With more effort this time than the last, Sesshomaru brought time back to its normal pace, though he kept the past firmly before them, hoping to figure out where Kikyo was headed after she learned of her home’s destruction.

He lowered them to the ground, his youki cloud dissipating like smoke when his and Kagome’s feet settled upon the dirt. Inuyasha and Kikyo were only a few paces ahead of them. He must not have returned time to its normal pace to catch the beginning portion of the lovers’ discussion. It hardly mattered.

“She’s dead. They both are…” Kikyo murmured, gazing around with impossibly sad eyes.

Inuyasha stepped closer to her, placing his hand on her shoulder in a show of comfort and support.

“You don’t know that, Kikyo. Maybe your family escaped, left before the bandits arrived. I can find them for—“

“—Kagome and my obaasan are dead!” Kikyo interrupted with a sharp shout before modulating her voce in a calmer tone. “They’re dead, and I wasn’t here to…” She choked on a sob before stifling the sound by pressing her lips tightly together.

Inuyasha dragged the stiff woman into his arms and stroked her back. “It’s not your fault,” he told her in a low tone. “You didn’t know this would happen.”

“No, but I did know that the bandits’ forces continued marching closer and closer, yet I left them here to be with you.”

Inuyasha stiffened.

“Are you…blaming me for this, Kikyo?” he grated out, obviously hurt and angry at the insinuation.

“No, of course not,” Kikyo replied with a shake of her head. “Even if I had been here, there is no guarantee that I wouldn’t be counted amongst one of the dead.” Then she leaned back and stared up at Inuyasha, her voice turned hard as steel as her ire grew. “I want them to pay for what they have done.”

“What do you mean,” hedged Inuyasha, his expression showing his surprise at Kikyo’s vehemence.

“I’ve had enough of countless villagers running for their lives or dying at the hands of these….vile men. Worse? They stole my family from me, and I want them to pay for what they have done with their lives. Every last one of them.”

While initially shocked by her words, Inuyasha got a determined look upon his face, and he nodded. “I’ll find the bastards who did this, Kikyo. I’ll track their scent. They couldn’t have gotten too far ahead. We’ll catch up with them in no time.”

Kagome couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Wide eyed, she stared at the sister she thought she knew, realizing she was seeing a completely different side of Kikyo she’d never even dreamed about. First, Kikyo had intimate relations with a man not her husband, now she was talking like Sesshomaru with words of vengeance falling easily from her lips. Would she really… Would Kikyo actually kill another human being for such a reason? They were miko! They were supposed to eradicate evil spirits and demons, not murder human beings.

Then came the realization that Kikyo would be tracking the same bandits that Sesshomaru had slaughtered when he tried to teach her about revenge. How close had she come to being reunited with her sister, only to miss her by…days? Mere hours? If Onigumo’s identity hadn’t been found out, if the villagers’ hadn’t turned violent and burned the bandit to death and turned on her, Kagome probably would have been reunited with Kikyo by now. The thought nearly had her digging her hands in her hair and pulling strands out by the roots one by one. How could fate be so cruel?

Suddenly, everything around her seemed to waver. Kikyo and Inuyasha’s voice warped, becoming more distant as their image began to fade.

“What…” murmured Kagome, bemused.

And then they were gone, but the village remained relatively the same. The fallen, burnt heaps that had once housed the villagers were all that remained of their humble abodes, crows circling and picking at the dead bodies…and then Sesshomaru stumbled.

“Sesshomaru?” Kagome called, turning to him, wrapping her arms around his waist, trying to help keep him on his feet, but damn was he heavy.

His arm fell across her shoulders, using her as a crutch as he bent forward at the waist a bit, his long, silver mane falling around his face, hiding his expression from her, but she could hear his heavy breathing, how he panted for air. His strong body trembled, and for a second, she feared they were going to fall to the ground if he gave her all his weight.    

“Sesshomaru?! What’s wrong? Are you alright?” she cried, worried.

He seemed to regain some of his strength back as his knees locked, preventing him from collapsing—and taking her with him.

“Must you screech so close to my ear?” he grouched, his voice sounding strained, tired even. He kept his arm around her, his fingers digging into her shoulder in a punishing grip until she winced. His claws were so long and sharp, she felt them pierce her flesh.

However, she didn’t complain or voice her discomfort. Something was wrong. She’d never seen the Inugami like this before, so she ignored his surly tone.

“Are you hurt?”

He scoffed at her, and stiffened his spine, righting himself, and she could see locks of his hair sticking to his sweat slicked face. He was still breathing more heavily than usual, and a fine tremor continued to shake his frame, if slightly.

“I’m fine. Stop hovering over me like a mother hen with her chick. I merely need to rest awhile.”

It was then that Kagome realized that the spell had taken a lot out of him. She was desperate to find Kikyo, but she bit her tongue, refusing to ask that he perform his magic again. She opened her mouth, then clicked it shut audibly, barely stopping herself in time at voicing his obvious weakness. She was no fool. Sesshomaru would not take kindly to even a murmur from her concerning his strength—or lack thereof in this instance. He was likely to bite her head off.

Trying not to seem like she was coddling him, Kagome tried to help steer him out of her ruined village, hardly noticing it, not when her whole focus was on the man beside her. However, he shrugged her off and stepped away from her, walking on his own steam. They didn’t travel far. There was no shelter around these parts anymore, so they found themselves by the god tree in the forest close to her village. Slowly and with more grace than she thought he had at the moment, Sesshomaru sat down at the trunk of the massive tree, and rested his back against the bark. He was almost hidden amongst the roots at its base, so large and high they sprouted from the ground.

Kagome stood there, shifting from one foot to the other, unsure as to what to do. It was late in the afternoon, the sun still high in the sky. There was plenty of daylight left to travel, though she wasn’t sure where to start.

“Ah… Sesshomaru… what—“

“Leave me in peace, onna,” he commanded, his eyes closed and head tilted back. He looked so beautiful with a few of the sun’s rays peeking through the large leaves, leaving some of his face in mild shadow, and making his silver hair sparkle. “You prattle incessantly.” 

Kagome clammed up, watching him helplessly. Did he have to be so rude? She was worried about him. Then she shook her head violently, her hair whipping around her sharply at the ridiculous thought. Fine. If he wanted to pretend that he wasn’t as weak as a kitten, fine by her. Turning sharply on her heel, she began walking away when Sesshomaru called after her.

“Where do you think you are going?”

Kagome didn’t even turn to look at him. It was on the tip of her tongue to give him attitude after he’d done it to her, but she kept her sarcasm to herself—barely.

“I’m hungry. I thought I’d return to the village and see if one of the villagers’ gardens was left undestroyed. Is that a problem?”

Okay, maybe she couldn’t help herself and be _a little_ short with him.

“Hn.” His reply was disinterested.

What? Did he really think she was trying to run away from him or something? Not that she enjoyed his touchy attitude and perverse, twisted ways, but she wasn’t stupid. She needed his help to find Kikyo…and there was still the problem with that contract of theirs. There was no doubt in her mind that Sesshomaru would hunt her down if she even tried to flee. Perhaps kill her for trying to break their contract. Jerk.

Kagome had only taken a couple of steps before his voice reached her ears again.

“Do not be gone long.”

Now he was _really_ getting on her nerves. She continued silently on her away, hoping a wild animal or something disturbed his _precious_ rest.

Thankfully, Kagome’s mind was blank as she made her way to her village, ignoring the destruction around her with marginal difficulty, and scrounging around until she found a vegetable garden that held promise. Deciding to take one of the melons so she didn’t have to clean her food first, she cracked it open with a large rock and dug in.

Juice dripped off her chin and onto her hideous and filthy kimono. She should really think about getting a new one. As she took another bite, her mind decided now was a good time to stop being idle and contemplate on what she had learned in the past hour.

Kikyo hadn’t been in the neighboring village as she had claimed, meaning she’d lied.

Kikyo had instead left to meet up with a man and spend a passionate interlude with him for a few days, meaning she was no longer chaste and basically broke a cardinal rule set for a priestess.

Kikyo vowed to take vengeance on the bandits who killed and destroyed their home, meaning she had a darker nature than anyone had ever thought, one supposedly antithetical to miko.

All in all, everything Kagome thought she knew about her kindhearted, strong willed, elder sister was a lie. It was difficult to associate this new woman with the sister she had grown up idolizing, even envying. She couldn’t seem to wrap her mind around it—any of it.

Who was the real Kikyo, the sister she knew and loved, or this stranger she’d had a glimpse of? More importantly, where was she?

Kagome tossed aside a hard shell and dug in to another piece of her melon. About to take another bite, she paused as another thought filtered through her mind, somehow more disquieting then all the others. Had Sesshomaru been right? Not only had he told her—on more than one occasion—how it was no great sin to experience pleasure of the flesh, but also about human nature, that vengeance was a part of all of them. Because of her revelations about Kikyo, Kagome began to second guess everything she once thought to be true.

Was it alright to….consort with a man in that manner despite her calling? Should she have taken a greater part in avenging her friends and family? Or perhaps even relished their deaths?

So many questions, too much confusion, and no answers to be found.

 

 _She is taking a while_ , though Sesshomaru with a small frown. He refused to admit that he might be worried about her. Just to be sure, he tilted his head back and sniffed, scenting the air, and allowed his senses to stretch outward, feeling for any danger that might be close and waylaying Kagome. Nothing. He settled back against the tree he rested against, inwardly cursing his fatigue.

The reverse time spell he’d cast was not only advanced magic few could perform; it was not meant to be used for lengthy periods of time, usually spanning no longer than fifteen to twenty minutes tops so as not to drain one’s energy to far. And yet, he’d allowed it to continue for close to an hour. It had been foolhardy to waste time and energy to watch his bastard brother fuck Kagome’s sister. Then he grinned, flashing a sharp fang. Oh, but how sweet it had been to witness his miko become aroused by the sight of another copulating. The scent of her need had permeated the air, swirling around in his head and deep within his lungs.

His smirk melted, forming into a frown. Who had she been yearning for to assuage her need? A low growl spilled from his lips, a snarl curling his upper lip at the thought that Kagome might have been lusting after Inuyasha and not _him_. She was his, dammit. And she’d better remember that. Perhaps, he needed to remind her…

Regardless, it had been well worth his current tiredness—he refused to call it weakness. Surely, even now, Kagome was having doubts about her precious sister. There was more than one lesson to be learned from their glimpse into the past. But one thing was for sure. Now that Kagome was vulnerable and second guessing Kikyo, it was the perfect opportunity to interject himself into her life more firmly, to make her less dependent on her sister and rely more fully on him.

To achieve this goal, he needed to completely destroy her self-image of how she was supposed to conduct herself and tear down the wall that inhibited her. Though he was coming to crave her pure soul, he still needed to corrupt her just enough to allow him entrance and gain her unwavering loyalty. He’d had it all wrong before. He shouldn’t be trying to extinguish the spark that made her so unique. _He_ should be the object of her corruption, the only thing she allowed to cast a shadow over her pure light. Her one, dark vice.

Sesshomaru chuckled darkly, his good mood restored. He relaxed, waiting patiently for her to return. He had much to do once she came back.

 _Come, aijin,_ he beckoned. _Return to me._

Kagome returned a little over a half-hour later. Once she caught sight of Sesshomaru, reclining in the same spot she’d left him in, his eyes shut, her worry flooded back, though she tried to beat it back and failed. Guiltily, she realized she’d been so caught up in her own thoughts, she’d forgotten to bring back something for Sesshomaru to eat. What if he was hungry or thirsty? She’d never seen him eat, but surely even he had to get hungry once in a while.

No, he didn’t even _want_ her concern, so she refused to feel bad about her inconsideration. If he wanted something to eat, he could get it himself. Now she sounded like a bratty child, and she hated it.

Sighing softly, she knelt near him but out of touching distance, resting her back against one of the many roots that protruded from the ground around the god tree. All of a sudden, she felt bone weary. Too much had happened in her life recently without enough to time to take a break and relax, to enjoy a new day.

“Ne, Sesshomaru,” she called to him in a low voice. She knew he would be able to hear her.

“Hn?”

“I’ve been thinking…”

“Yes?” he prompted when she remained silent too long.

Perhaps she shouldn’t be talking to him about this, that it was the better choice to keep her thoughts to herself, but she couldn’t. Maybe if she spoke aloud, her voice would unlock the answers to her many questions and solve a problem or two. Or she just wanted to talk and get this weight off her mind.

“I think you might have been right.”

“You will have to be more specific. On what occasion do you refer to?”

“You once said I needed to learn the pleasure of revenge. I was so obstinate… And yet… Kikyo didn’t hesitate. After she learned what had happened, she wanted to make the ones responsible pay. To kill them.” She whispered the last, still unable to truly believe it had been _her_ sister who had said such bloodthirsty words.

Sesshomaru blinked his eyes open, staring at Kagome in open surprise, but she didn’t notice, wasn’t looking at him, and he quickly masked his reaction. This felt…strange. He’d been planning on bringing this very subject to her attention once she had come back, but Kagome had beat him to it. A knowing smile curled his lips slightly. So he had been correct in his earlier musings. She _was_ doubting her sister. He could hear it in her voice. Even better? Kagome was rethinking her whole life, perhaps believing it all to be a lie, a gilded cage that trapped her spirit.

He opened his mouth to respond, but he was silenced when she spoke again.

“But it didn’t make me feel better…” she murmured, feeling conflicted about her feelings. She turned to him, even leaned towards him slightly, though still out of reach. Not that he couldn’t catch her in the blink of an eye if he so chose. “Even after you…killed my enemies for me—” God, was it hard to say he’d done it for her, putting the weight of all their lives on her shoulders. “—it didn’t change anything. It didn’t make me feel better, only worse. Why am I so different? You, even Kikyo, talk about murdering people so easily, as if it was so simple.”

Sesshomaru could hear how lost she was feeling, could hear the vulnerability in her voice and see the doubt in her eyes. Somehow, though he’d been in her company almost nonstop this past week, it never ceased to surprise him with how open she was, how expressive, completely without guile. Did she not realize that she could so easily be taken advantage of because of her inability to mask her feelings? How sweet she appeared, how innocent and naïve.

He had to admit, silently to himself, her pained expression filled him with desire. It made him want to hurt her just a little more just to see that expression painted on her face.

Her confusion was palpable, and better yet, she came to him for guidance. Sesshomaru had to will himself not to show any of the excitement he was feeling, easily masking his thoughts, because if she was given even the smallest inkling of what he was thinking, she’d clam up and mentally withdraw from him.

When would she learn, he wondered, not to rely on him? After everything he had put her through, she still had this child-like innocence about her, and unconsciously sought guidance from whoever was around her when she was confused and unsure. He wasn’t complaining. Whatever her reasons were that she’d continue to put faith in him, he was not about to question them. He’d take it as the gift it was with relish.

“You believe yourself to be flawed, Kagome? That there is something wrong with you?” he inquired, making sure to sound almost disinterested, yet meeting her gaze in silent encouragement to continue their conversation, to remain open with him and reveal all her fears and doubts.

“I…” her voice cracked, forcing her to clear her throat and nervously move her hair behind one ear. “Maybe,” she admitted.

Though she didn’t go into more detail than that, her answer spoke volumes.

“You are not so different from your sister,” he told her seriously, purposefully seeming more interested in the conversation, acting as if he were striving to help her.

The subtle change in his demeanor, the more interest he displayed in his body language and expression caught her, and Sesshomaru knew it, saw it. At times, Kagome proved to be too easy to manipulate. But then she’d have moments of surprising him, catching him off-guard. It always kept him on edge and challenged him in intriguing ways.

“You once admitted that you had wanted the bandits to pay for their crimes. The end results may be different, but you both desire justice.”

“I hadn’t thought of it like that.”

A light had entered her eyes after she mulled over his words, dispelling some of her melancholy.

 _Caught you, little bird,_ Sesshomaru though with satisfaction. _You are mine._

“That is not the only similarity between you two,” he informed her silkily.


	21. To Be Selfish

 

“Kikyo slept with Inuyasha.”

Kagome stiffened at the reminder. As if she needed to be! That was one of the things she couldn’t _stop_ thinking about. She shot Sesshomaru a dirty glare even though her face was hot with embarrassment, remembering how he’d forced her to watch. He didn’t even have the decency to look away from her accusing gaze, but stared at her intently, forcing _her_ to look away.

God, she couldn’t look at him without remembering how she had reacted to the sight, her body and mind yearning for Sesshomaru’s touch. Worse, he’d known she was aroused! But then she couldn’t help but wonder who he thought she was responding to, him or Inuyasha? Not like she was going to ask and find out, she inwardly sniffed. She doubted she could live with the embarrassment to vocally tell him it had been he that she was thinking about in that instance.

“And?” she asked tightly, picking at the edge of her kimono sleeve nervously. Did she really even want to hear what he was about to say?

He decided for her.

“Did you ever wonder why that is?” he asked her conversationally.

“You know I do,” she shot back a little unhappily, revealing her inner turmoil unconsciously—again. Kagome didn’t notice that she was digging her own grave.

“Happiness,” Sesshomaru stated simply.

As if it were that simple!

“You lost me.” Kagome returned her gaze to him with open curiosity. What was he getting at?

“Like you,” he began, “your sister has restraints put on her in your society because of your stations in life. A miko has many more rules to follow than most of humanity, I have noticed. Your name suits you, _Kagome_. A bird in a cage.”

Kagome stiffened at that and opened her mouth to blast him with a retort, but he was already speaking.

“Miko help people. They heal the injured, see those dying to the afterlife as comfortably as they are able when they are too wounded to survive or sick, and they fight evil spirits and demons. So much bloodshed and carnage, so many crying out for their aid, and so much death. Not only is it their responsibility, it’s their burden. Haven’t you felt the weight of your duty, Kagome?”

That shut her up. Though she wasn’t sure where Sesshomaru was going with this line of talk, he spoke the truth, and she nodded mutely. But she liked helping others, to be useful. However, she couldn’t say that, because she also hated all the pain and death that accompanied her duties, and that was one point she understood Sesshomaru was trying to get at, so she didn’t attempt to interrupt him.

“Wouldn’t you like to find a shred of happiness, to be selfish once in your life without someone condemning you for it?”

How he said that almost choked Kagome on the longing that swelled within her.

“Isn’t it plausible your sister took a lover because he makes her happy? While in a man’s arms, she no longer bears the weight of her station, but feels like an ordinary woman for once in her life.”

This news struck home for Kagome, hit on every one of her insecurities and doubts. Yes, she’d always felt like she was different from everyone else, especially the women from her village. She’d see them with their beaus, sharing hugs, kisses, and secret smiles, but also love. She’d seen it shining in their eyes as they looked up at the man in their life. She’d seen happy couples and children hanging on the folds of their kimono. Kagome was secretly envious of them, because a family was usually denied to a miko.

True, the first born was able to have a family of her own, but only after several years of service as a priestess. But then, it was usually only to have daughters that could take over her duties. And Kagome was second born. Sesshomaru was right yet again. Her name fit her perfectly—a bird in a cage. And at that moment, she hated it, felt resentful that such happiness of a husband and children should be denied her because society decreed it so.

Why shouldn’t she find some shred of happiness? Kikyo appeared to have done so. Why couldn’t she as well?

Little did she know that Sesshomaru was purposefully twisting logic, no matter how true it might be. Easily, he manipulated her feelings, using her hidden bitterness caused by the restrictions placed upon her for being a miko, and her hero worship towards her sister.

He could see the impact of his words clear on her face, how her brows scrunched closer together in a frown, the pinched quality to her mouth, and the fire of defiance in her eyes. Even her fists were clenched on top of her thighs.  

Temptingly, he murmured, “Life is too short, aijin, to deny yourself happiness just because someone else claims you’re not worth having it.”

He had been about to say ‘pleasure’ but quickly replaced the word with ‘happiness’ in hopes that it would strike a stronger cord within her, without her denying his advances in the future out of pure stubbornness. 

“Not worth—” Kagome began, before anger and hurt feelings cut her off.

Was that what everyone thought of her? That she wasn’t worthy enough to be happy once in a while? To give and give without having anything in return? She grinned mockingly at herself. How foolish she’d been, how naïve. She’d always felt such pride to be a miko, to have been given a higher purpose in life that she hadn’t seen the shackles that’d chained her so securely.

“It’s not fair,” she muttered, looking away.

Seeing an opening, Sesshomaru ignored the weakness in his body from his spell casting and moved closer to the onna. She must have been deep in thought to have not heard his subtle approach. On hands and knees, he loomed over her.

Her head whipped around so fast when she caught sight of him from the corner of her eye, her hair brushed his chest before settling around her shoulders. Kagome’s eyes widened to find him so close.

Sesshomaru reached out and stroked her hair gently. “No, it’s not fair,” he murmured. “Be selfish, Kagome. For once, do what you want, not what you think you have to.”

The air in Kagome’s lung all but stuck there, making it impossible for her to exhale the swift breath—more of a gasp—at his presence. What he was saying, offering, made her expel her breath in a strangled wheeze of a sound. Looking into Sesshomaru’s golden eyes, she all but drowned in them. There was male interest, that was for sure, and yet it wasn’t as fierce as usual, but more…gentle? Or subtle than she was used to. He didn’t touch her in any way, was allowing her the choice to accept his sinful proposal or refuse him—again. And yet she could feel the heat radiating off of him, burning her.

She couldn’t think rationally when he was so close. She never could, but what also made her hesitate to rebuke him once again was her inner turmoil. Sesshomaru’s logic ate at her, made her want to be reckless and give in to the desire she tried so hard to deny between them. However, what made her reach for him was the deciding factor for her.

If Kikyo thought it wasn’t immorally wrong to find happiness in a man’s arms, than she wanted to agree. What she didn’t want to admit, even to herself, was that she wanted an excuse, _any excuse_ , to give in to her lust for this Inugami. Inuyasha was a demon, albeit only half, so surely it wasn’t wrong to choose a demon for herself, too?

She didn’t verbally agree or even nod her head. Couldn’t force herself to visibly acknowledge what he offered with any sign of agreeability other than leaning forward on her knees, placing a hand on his shoulder, and tentatively laying a chaste kiss on his mouth. Inwardly, she prayed he didn’t want more of an assent from her and took her actions as such.

Thankfully, she felt his arms wrap around her back and bring her fully against his muscular chest, and press his lips more firmly against hers. Before he even demanded she open her mouth in word or action, Kagome was already parting he lips in welcome. A small, feminine moan became lost in Sesshomaru’s mouth when his tongue stroked along her own, and she followed his lead, an erotic mating of their mouths.

Oh God, it felt so good to let her inhibitions go and let her desire take control. It was freeing, liberating. Until she felt his hands at the front of her kimono, parting it. Though she _wanted_ this, another part of her was shy and embarrassed. So, when he lowered the cloth from her shoulders, baring her from the waist up, she stiffened, and grabbed onto his shoulders to stop herself when she would have instinctively crossed her arms over her chest. She didn’t want him to think she was backing out or regretting her decision, but God was it torture to just kneel there while his eyes roamed over her breasts.

Her nails bit into him when he remained silent and continued to just stare at her. Kagome was just about to cross her arms and lean away from him, thinking he might be displeased with what he saw, but his husky timbre stopped her, causing a shiver of renewed desire to run down her spine.

“You take my breath away, aijin.”

That he thought her beautiful, though he didn’t say those words exactly, made her nipples harden, silently begging him to do something, _anything_. She had no idea what a man and woman did together, but after watching Kikyo and Inuyasha, she wanted Sesshomaru to reach out and—

As if he read her sinful thought, he cupped her breasts and gently squeezed. Face hot, Kagome looked away from his face and at his chest, but when he made a circular motion, his rough palms rubbed tantalizingly against her nipples. A strangled sound was forced from her throat, her flesh more sensitive than she had ever thought. However, it wasn’t until he plucked one of her nipples between his thumb and forefinger, pinching and pulling at it, that had her back arching when electrical sensations of pleasure hit her.

Unconsciously, she thrust her breasts more fully into his hands in encouragement for more of _that_. And he gave it, and much more.

Taking both of her nipples between his fingers, he began the same torture, but with both of them, making her squirm, pant, and moan breathlessly from his attentions. He was barely touching her, and yet he was driving her wild. Had she always been this sensitive and just didn’t know it?

Thought scattered when he lowered his head to the side of her neck and found a sensitive nerve or two with his sucking mouth and hot, slick tongue. Kagome barely noticed when he used his larger frame to push her back until she was laid out on the forest floor beneath him. Lifting her arms, she wrapped them around his neck, undulating her hips against his stomach in growing agitation.

Sesshomaru panted against her neck. The sexual tension between them had done a number on his control. He wanted to bury himself in her tight sheath _now_ , and damn foreplay. The only thing that stopped him was her innocence. He’d surely hurt her in his haste, and there was no way in hell he was going to ruin her first time and cause her to deny him her body at a later date—and there would be another and another. This onna had led him on a merry chase, denying him time and time again. No, he was going to show her exactly what she had been denying them even if it killed him.

He’d show her such unadulterated pleasure she’d never conceived of and addict her to the feelings only he could wring out of her. She’d crave him, desire him, lust after him. He wanted the memory of his touch to be so firmly planted in her subconscious that she’d remember at odd hours of the day and burn with sexual frustration at night, and turn to him to assuage it with open arms.

But also, while he learned every inch of her body, she’d be tutored in how to please him in all ways. Just the thought of the ecstasy to come made him shudder in want.

Moving down her body gradually, he kissed her shoulder, nibbled on her collar bone, and kissed the valley between her lush breasts, tasting her, basking in her aroused scent. He heard her breath hitch as his lips continued farther down, building her sexual tension with the knowledge of where he was headed.

Finally, his tongue found her, using the rough pad to lick over her nipple, felt her arms tense around him. Kagome moaned deep and low in her throat when he suckled the hardened nub, lashing it with his tongue in the moist cavern of his mouth. Her back arched off the ground, thrusting her ample breast more fully into his mouth. He rewarded her enthusiasm with a hard suckle and pinched the other trapped between his fingers.

It wasn’t enough.

Reigning back, he released her nipple with a soft pop and knelt above her. Sesshomaru smirked down at her flushed face when she cried out in denial after he’d stopped. Kagome tried to drag him back to her breasts, but he silently refused to budge as he shrugged out of his two haori.

 _No, don’t stop!_ she silently begged Sesshomaru, only for her thoughts to splinter at the sight of his bare chest. Of course, she’d seen it a few times before, but she’d never allowed her eyes to linger or appreciate just how physically beautiful he was. His muscles bulged at every small movement he made, his abdomen flexing, the ridges of his abs tantalizing her. 

Her hands itched to touch him, and without thinking, she lifted them to his stomach, and stroked the hard contours of his abdomen. A heated look entered his amber gaze, and when he slowly lowered to all fours over her, caging her beneath him, a sexual thrill went straight to her weeping sex. The moisture embarrassed her, not realizing exactly what it was, and she tightened her thighs to hide the affect he was having on her body.

His hand went behind her skull, titling her head back, and he was kissing her again, flaming her blood with every lick and bite. When his hand went back to her breast, her thighs shifted, rubbing them together in hopes that would assuage the ache. It didn’t work, and soon she began to shift and make small mewls of frustration.

She tried to tell him that she ached and burned horribly, but her frantic movements seemed to transmit her frustration to him. With one knee, Sesshomaru easily parted her clenched thighs. And after only a moment of hesitation, she stopped fighting the inevitable and allowed him to settle between her legs. The feeling of his rock hard chest against her sensitized breasts was profound. With a tilt to her back, she was able to rub her tight peaks against him.

But she needed more.

“More…” she murmured between kisses, raising her knees on either side of his hips and tightening them around him in entreaty.

He chuckled, the sound deep and sinful to her ears.

“You desire more, aijin?” he murmured huskily next to her ear, moist heat bathing her flesh, causing her to shudder.

“Yes,” she whispered back, her voice so low, she barely heard herself speak.

“Do you ache?” he asked on a rumbled growl, moving down her body again, making her tense, her flesh jump in expectation for his mouth on her breasts again.

He kissed one peak and then the other before licking the underside of one breast.

“Do you burn, Kagome?”

“Yes, yes!”

His fangs scrapped against her rib cage, moving ever downwards. She didn’t stop him, but squirmed for more. Her hands moved restlessly over his shoulders, nails digging in. when his tongue swirled around her belly button, her hips shot off the ground and a low moan spilled from her parted lips.

Sesshomaru had to pause his wicked tongue when her kimono impeded him further access to her body. With nimble fingers, he yanked her obi open and parted the folds of her kimono, fully exposing her to his gaze and the forest around them. If anyone should happen upon them now, Kagome doubted she would notice, too caught up in their intimate play to take heed of her surroundings. Her kimono was like a blanket beneath her, protecting her from the forest floor.

He was moving again, shifting downwards. Lower and lower until he kissed her hip bone, nibbling on it, which sent a spasm of pleasure through her overly sensitized body.

“Yessss…” she hissed.

Wait… Not yes. What was he doing?! Propping herself up on her elbows quickly, her hair fluttered against her naked back as she stared down at Sesshomaru wide eyed.

His fingers found her first, sifting through the small, dark hairs between her legs, until he found her wet folds, and began to fondle her, running his fingers through her moisture, causing her to blush to the root of her hair. Before she could voice words of reprimand from her parted lips, his thumb found a hidden nub on her clit, and with rough, circular motions, he showed her she hadn’t known pleasure until _this_ moment.

Falling back with a sharp cry, Kagome bucked her hips into his hand, intensifying the sensations that racked her nerve endings. At first, she hardly noticed when he’d thrust a digit inside her, not until he rubbed the roof of her channel and sending a shock wave of intense pleasure that built her closer and closer to some sort of precipice. Sobbing, she moved her hips in time to his shallow thrusts, whimpering her delight when he added a second finger, and all the while, he continued to circle his thumb around her, again and again, over and over.

Her thighs tensed, her womb spasmed as she was about to hurtle into the unknown…when he stopped.

“What?!” she screeched, bewildered.

Glancing down at him, she saw Sesshomaru eyeing her intently.

Licking her lips, she asked, her voice husky, “W-why did you…stop..?”

 _Oh, God! Please, don’t stop!_ she inwardly screamed at him.

Sesshomaru was kneeling between her legs, rubbing her thighs, and murmuring nonsense sounds as she thumped back to the ground with a sound of frustration. What was he doing?! Or not doing? Dammit! Didn’t he realize she was in agony here? Why did he just… stop?!

“Please, Sesshomaru,” she entreated on a breathy moan, shaking her head back and forth on the ground, curling her fists in her discarded kimono. 

Sesshomaru chuckled as Kagome begged him to finish her. Though his shaft ached unbearably, the head red and inflamed with over excitement, precum sliding from the tip, even his balls hurt, it was worth the pain in his lower region when she begged him for an orgasm.

“Yes, aijin? What do you desire? Tell me,” he implored with a husky murmur.

Again she shook her head back and forth, arching her hips up for his touch.

“I-I don’t… Please… Touch me… like before…”

Leaning down, he lifted one of her legs, and kissed her inner thigh.

“How about a little more?”

“Yes, yes! More!”

Her scent called to him, the wetness betwixt her thighs glossy, her pink flesh beautiful. Watching her, his eyes never leaving her face, his lips moved lower, lower, waiting for her to realize just what he planned. When his cheek grazed her womanly folds, she jerked, and again she was up on her elbows, staring down at him wide eyed, as if she couldn’t believe his intentions.

“I’m going to kiss you here, Kagome, right where you burn the most.”

Just as his lips settled over her folds, her hands were in his hair, and she yanked—painfully.

“Sesshomaru!” she cried, shocked and embarrassed.

However, no matter how she yanked his hair or squirmed her hips in a desperate attempt to get away from his tongue, he refused to be dislodged. Persistently, he lashed her with the flat of his tongue, paying special attention to her clit, just under that tiny hood that hid the small nub that was the key to her pleasure. After a few seconds, his attentions worked, and Kagome’s hands ceased pulling against him, and yanked him closer.

He was eager to oblige, but he was forced to place a heavy forearm against her flat abdomen when her hips began to move frantically. Her cries escalated, heightening his lust to unbearable degrees. Sesshomaru ground his hips into the ground, trying to relieve some of the tightness in is groin. He would have liked to torture her further, but he was at his limits.

Still…

Just as she was about to orgasm, he stopped—again.

Her scream of dismay and frustration made him chuckle wickedly.

Tearing at the ties to his hakama, he allowed the fabric to pool around his knees, refusing to take the time to disrobe completely, and moved over her purposefully, and gripped the base of his shaft.

He crooned to her, petting her hair, and brushing the strands off her sweat slicked cheek. Lust glazed eyes stared up at him as he took position between her thighs. He rubbed the flaming head against her slick entrance, watched the full knowledge of what he was about to do enter her mind. She tensed but didn’t stop him.

“I know what will stop the ache,” he murmured to her, his voice gone rough and gravely with desire.

Then he was moving his hips, pressing forward, the head gaining entrance into her slick heat. Hell!

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he gritted out between clenched teeth as he slowly entered her, gaining leverage with each inch he forced into her.

“Relax,” he rasped as she went rigid from his intrusion.

Sesshomaru didn’t have to see the pained look on Kagome’s face to know that he was hurting her. Not only was she innocent, he was large. Without sounding vain, he knew he was considered huge and could easily hurt her if he wasn’t careful. That was why he’d had to get her wet, practically flooding with arousal. But still, she was tight. God was she tight!

Her knees rose and clasped his hips tightly, and her nails bit into his forearms. When he finally came to her barrier, he tensed in preparation.

“Just this once,” he said hoarsely to her. “Be wounded by me.”

Unable to stop, he thrust inside, intending to sheath himself in one thrust, but she was so tight, he was only able to go halfway inside her. He groaned. Kagome shrieked. He’d broken her barrier and was already pulling back for another thrust. This time, he went a couple inches deeper, but he wanted deeper still. Kagome was shoving against his chest, trying to get him off her, even bucked her hips to dislodge him, but only managed to impale herself farther. The scent of her blood reached his nostrils, and even though he wasn’t trying to hurt her, he was.

However, he was _not_ stopping. Not _now_.  

When Kagome dug her elbows into the ground in an attempt to crawl away from him, he lowered his chest on top of her, pinning her to the ground.

“It hurts!”

Her palm settled over his forehead and eyes as she tried to shove him away, and Sesshomaru only gritted his teeth. Reaching beneath her, he settled his hand at the base of her spine, and angled her hips upwards to make it easier to thrust inside her. At the new angle, his next thrust met success as he thrust home, going balls deep.

Sesshomaru groaned deep and low, the sound vibrating out of his chest.

Kagome cried out and bit her bottom lip until he scented blood.

Remaining still, his body trembling at the strain as he fought the urge to thrust, he freed her abused lip with his thumb, and licked away the droplet of blood, before thrusting his tongue in her mouth. She was crying. The scent of her tears reached him. Sesshomaru refused to feel guilty over causing her pain, because it was a woman’s lot in life to be hurt upon her first mating.

Still, trying to be considerate, he held still deep inside her, allowing her to grow accustomed to his length and girth. She trembled under him, but at least she’d stopped trying to push him away and kissed him back.

Purring in approval, he kissed her gently, despite his body’s demands, and moved a hand between their sweat slick bodies. Angling his fingers downwards, his palm stroked down her belly, passed her small curls, and located her clit, rubbing that sweet spot to get her desire raging inside her again.

In perhaps a minute or two—too damn long!—she finally responded, moaning and undulating her hips against him. Sesshomaru groaned as her silken walls rubbed and squeezed his pulsing cock. Removing his hand, he placed his palms on either side of her and broke the kiss, leveling above her. Slowly, he slid out of her until just the head remained, testing her. Then just as slowly, sweat beading his brow as he forced control over himself, he pushed back in all the way.

Watching her face, he did that a few more times, and when Kagome clawed at him, whimpering for more, he pushed harder, speeding up his thrusts slightly.

“Ah! Sesshomaru!”

Though lust was riding him hard, he grinned at her enthusiasm and bucked inside her—hard. Instead of crying out in pain, she shouted with pleasure, her head thrown back, hips arching up to meet his thrusts. Groaning, he finally did what he needed. As he sped up, Kagome wrapped her legs around his hips, the heels of her feet digging into his lower spine, egging him on.

It was the only encouragement he needed to go harder, faster, deeper.

His voice echoed her moans, voicing his own pleasure as she milked him from all sides. Fuck! He wasn’t going to last much longer.

And neither was she, it seemed. With a scream that blasted his eardrums—his name—she climaxed, tightening around him like a fist, making movement damn near impossible as he shallowly but deeply pistoned inside her, his thighs slapping against her buttocks, the wet sounds of their coupling ringing in his ear.

“Damnation!” he cursed, pounding through her quivering folds until he, too, found release.

Even as his seed shot from his balls, up his shaft, pouring into her hot depths, he continued to thrust shallowly inside her, growling his release in a vicious snarl that was terrifying to hear.

“You are mine,” he rasped, shuddering over her in aftershocks of ecstasy, spilling the last bit of his seed into her womb.


	22. Lovers

Kagome awoke to the sun in her eyes. Squinting, she blinked heavy lashes and turned her face away from the bright rays. As she did, she felt warm flesh against her averted face, a masculine scent invading her nostrils as she took a deep breath. Still groggy, her senses slowly came awake and sent signals to her brain; her front was plastered against something rock hard and warm, her leg thrown over and between hard calves, and her hand rested against a firm chest, a heartbeat thrumming against her palm.

It wasn’t until the hand around her waist tightened, drawing her closer, and fingers brushed her hair out of her face that her eyes blinked open as realization hit her like a punch to the gut. Tilting her head back, she stared into the Inugami’s honeyed eyes and saw deep satisfaction lurking within those inhuman depths as well as renewed lust.

All at once, she stiffened.

What had she done? What in all the kamis’ names had she done yesterday and several times afterwards?! At the time, it had felt like the right thing to do. Her body had been yearning for such intimacies between her and Sesshomaru, and if she was truthful to herself, she had some feelings for this Inugami, despite his past deplorable actions towards her. However, now, in the light of a new day when her emotions and body’s desires weren’t clouding her judgment, regret came swiftly, trying to drag her down with self-recriminations.

“Aijin,” Sesshomaru murmured in a low, husky timbre, reawakening the woman inside her.

However, when he cupped the back of her skull and angled down to kiss her, she panicked. Flailing the best she could while so close to his nude body—and it did not escape her notice that she was likewise unclothed—she tried to push away from him, getting nowhere when his arm tightened around her waist.

“No! Wait, Sesshomaru,” Kagome said frantically, turning her face away from his kiss.

Sesshomaru frowned at her averted face.

“Why?” he asked, lust gripping him, his groin already hardened in eager anticipation. “I want you again,” he murmured wickedly, nuzzling her temple.

When his free hand landed on her upper thigh and began caressing her flesh intimately, she batted his touch away. Again she tried to squirm away from him.

“Because we can’t!” she said desperately, huffing when he refused to let her go.

He scowled at her, though she didn’t see it. Then he grinned, the heat in his gaze intensifying. He grabbed her hand easily and placed her palm over his erection. 

“I assure you, we can. Feel me, aijin. Feel what you so effortlessly do to me.”

In answer, she jerked her hand back as if burned, and yet, he caught the tantalizing scent of her growing arousal, barely there but unmistakable.

Kagome shook her head, valiantly ignoring how she instinctively responded to him. She wanted him, too, desperately, like she needed her next breath. This was madness! But she also felt guilt along with her regret.

“I used you…”

God was it hard to admit. She’d felt slighted, cheated because she’d begun to think everyone she once knew and loved secretly felt that she wasn’t worthy of happiness, of…this, what she had done with Sesshomaru. She’d wanted to prove to everyone, especially herself, that she didn’t need anyone’s approval to act on what she wanted.

“Speak plainly,” he commanded her, not understanding.

She couldn’t look at him as she confessed, “I… You know I…desire you, and I knew you wanted me, too, but… I used you, Sesshomaru. I was being selfish and shouldn’t have used you to make a point that I’m not unworthy.”

If she thought her words would tick Sesshomaru off, she was about to be proven wrong. He grinned at her, his eyes full of sexual promise.

“I’m not complaining, aijin.” He moved his lips to her ear, whispering to her. “Use me, brand me with your touch. You desire me, and I desire you. No matter what prompts you to turn to me for gratification, I will not turn you away.”

Instead of encouraging her as his words implied, she continued to shy away from him.

“Yes, I desire you,” she said with an unhappy tone of voice. “But I don’t love you.” And that’s what mattered.

“I do not ask for your love,” he returned, sensually running his tongue around the shell of her ear, making her shiver, and her arousal to spike.

“Be that as it may, this isn’t right. What we did… It was wrong.” Again she tried to push him away.

Now, Sesshomaru was beginning to feel angry. So she regretted what they had done together, did she?

“And yet you still want me. Your body burns for my touch,” he murmured to her, rolling her effortlessly beneath him, pinning her to the ground so she couldn’t possibly get away.

“Don’t deny it,” he continued after her surprised squeak. He buried his face in her neck and forced her legs wide open with his knee, making a place for himself between her thighs. Then he cupped her possessively, her hot core burning his hand and her moisture giving away her growing desire. “You’re already wet for me, and I haven’t even touched you yet.”

“Sesshomaru!” she said in reprimand, but he was through listening to her excuses and kissed her—hard.

When she shoved against his hand, trying to stop him from petting her wet folds, he grabbed her wrists and brought her caged hands above her head, easily restraining her with one large hand wrapped around her tiny wrists. She wanted him; he knew she did. It was only her human sensibilities that were trying to make her regret what they had done together, and he was going to make her realize that.

He thrust two fingers inside her sheath, and Kagome arched into his touch, a cry leaving her mouth, swallowed by his own. He groaned and moved his fingers faster, rubbing the top of her channel where he knew her sweet spot to be, encouraging her to let go of her doubt and give in to her desire.

Kagome stopped trying to deny herself what she desperately wanted. Despite Sesshomaru’s forceful assault on her senses, she knew deep down that if she had really wanted him to stop, he would have. His past actions spoke clearly that he wanted her willing, and kami help her, she was. She’d unwittingly encouraged him in the past, especially that one time when they’d shared a hot spring together, but when she’d called a halt, he’d stopped—if unhappily.  

And that was one of the reasons why she was growing more and more attached to him despite knowing how stupid such a thing was. He could be considerate in his own twisted way.

She kissed him back, showing him just how eager she was by swiveling her hips into his thrusting fingers, grinding against him. As she flexed and moved against him, her fat stomach repeatedly brushed against his rock hard abs, her breasts rubbing against the muscle of his chest, and her nipples tightened as they brushed against him. Pleasure swamped her, and now that she knew where these feelings of lust led, she was eager—even desperate—for release, and encouraged Sesshomaru in any way she could for him to continue, to give her more.

When Kagome wrapped her legs around his hips, he seemed to understand her unvoiced acceptance and released her wrists. Instantly, she clawed at his back, and when his mouth left hers to graze his teeth along the column of her throat, she implored him for more with heated whimpers of ‘please’ and calling his name in entreaty.

She was riding the edge of an orgasm when he unexpectedly moved. When his mouth found her clit and suckled on her flesh, her hips would have left the ground had he not settled his forearm over her stomach to keep her in place. With a hoarse cry, her womb contracted, thighs trembling, and body quaking as another mind shattering release took hold of her again. Sesshomaru prolonged her orgasm, thrusting his fingers inside her and continued to use his tongue in wicked swirls and licks, until she couldn’t take it anymore and shoved his head away, panting for much needed air.

When Sesshomaru moved over her again, settling purposefully between her legs, she stopped him with a hand on his chest. “Wait, Sesshomaru.”

He glowered down at her, but he did stop. “Now what? If you think I’m stopping _now_ after you received your pleasure, you’re very mistaken, aijin. When I said you can be selfish, denying me and not yourself is not what I meant.”

“No! That’s not what I meant.” She looked away, blushing fiercely.

“Speak quickly, aijin. My patience grows thin.”

“I just… What you did with your mouth… Forget it. Never mind.”

Grudgingly intrigued, despite his groin clamoring to be encased once again in her moist heat, Sesshomaru wouldn’t allow the subject to be dropped.

“Tell me.” It was a command, his lust making his voice firmer than it might have been at any other time.

Shyly, she met his gaze, her face beet red.

“I was just wondering…if I could do that…for you. Or do women not do such things?” she added the last quickly, inwardly cursing her lack of knowledge when it came to intimacies.

Sesshomaru stiffened, his heart pounding faster at her insinuations. He’d thought he’d have to encourage her at some point for such contact, yet it seemed that she was already thinking along those lines. What was more, she was willing and didn’t need any encouragement from him. His blood heated hotter just imagining her mouth around his aching shaft.

Before she could change her mind, he was rolling onto his back, bringing Kagome with him so that she was the one on top.

“Yes,” he purred at her, stroking her back with both hands. “Whatever you desire, you have just to voice them, aijin. As your body is mine to do with what I will, mine is also yours.”

Kagome only hesitated a moment before she moved on him. Though he was eager for what her words had implied, he didn’t discourage her when she didn’t instantly move down his body and rush her.

As he had done countless of times to her, Kagome’s lips settled along his neck, her tongue tracing the fast beat of his pulse, before suckling against his flesh. He groaned, his hands tightening on her hips, knowing she would leave a mark if briefly, before his body healed. She didn’t seem to be in any hurry as she learned his body with hands and mouth, using his previous actions as her guide. She nipped at his collar bone with her blunt teeth, even swirled her tongue in the hollow of his throat.

Her nail scrapped over his left nipple, hardening the flat disk. Her tongue was a wet glide that sent answering pulses of pleasure to his cock. Though he wanted her to continue downwards, he cupped the back of her head in one hand, encouraging her to linger at his nipple and give him more of that.

“Harder, aijin. Don’t be afraid to use your teeth. Bite me,” he implored heatedly.

Kagome did just that, and he gnashed his teeth audibly, and _his_ hips jerked off the ground this time in growing agitation. His sexual frustration seemed to amuse her, for she giggled and bit him again.

“You find this amusing, do you?” His voice was rougher, more gravely in his need.

“Yes,” she answered, unabashed. “It’s nice to know I can equally affect you as you do me.”

Though she didn’t mean it the way it sounded, Sesshomaru chuckled darkly.

“I plan to ‘do you’ shortly.”

She blushed and quickly ducked her head, biting along his flesh in silent reprimand. His mirth left him on a deep, masculine groan of pleasure when Kagome reached down and grasped the base of his cock in her fist. He shuddered violently when she moved against him, and he reached down to show her exactly how he liked it. A tighter squeeze, a fast pace, and paying close attention to the sensitive head.

Kagome learned quickly, and soon she was stroking him without his aid. However, when she cupped his balls in her other hand, squeezing and fondling him with just the right amount of pressure, he cursed on his next rough exhalation.

Kagome jerked her hands away, glancing up at him with a contrite expression.

“I’m sorry! Did I hurt you—”  

“No!” he said quickly, capturing her hand and placing it back on his shaft. “You’re doing everything right,” he rasped.

Kagome gazed at him dubiously for a second, before taking him at his word, but instead of continuing with her ministrations, she moved further down his body, and the closer her mouth got to his erection, the harder he became. And then—finally!—her tongue found him first, swirling around the head, before paying special attention to the slit at the tip.

One of his hands curled in her hair, cupping the back of her skull to keep her there.

“No games, aijin,” he said through clenched teeth, precum slipping out of his shaft only to be licked up by her wicked tongue. “Open your mouth.”

Again she had the audacity to laugh at his torment.

“But I thought you said I could touch you any way I please?”

Her seductive reply surprised him but also enflamed him more, and he forced her head closer to his erect shaft, her lips bumping the head.

“Later,” he replied, his chest heaving, and thrusting his hips towards her in growing impatience to feel her silken mouth wrapped around him.

And when she did, his abs tightened as he forced himself not to thrust into her mouth and hurt her. Not only was he large, Kagome wasn’t accustomed to this sort of thing, and he’d be damned if he made her regret offering and never want to do _this_ again.

Kagome sucked on the head tentatively, prompting him to demand, “Harder, aijin!”

And she did.

Watching her gave him almost as much pleasure as her mouth. Her cheeks hollowed as she sucked him, and when she moved her head up and down along his shaft, taking a couple inches at a time, her hand moved with her mouth stroking and squeezing what she couldn’t fit comfortably in her moist cavern. Wanting a better view, he shoved her hair out of her face and watched, his face flushed and panting for air.

When her teeth grazed against his flesh, probably an accident on her part, it almost sent him over the edge. Not wanting to spend inside her mouth—this time—he forced her off and, and pushed her roughly beneath him, ignoring her surprised exclamation. Mounting her swiftly, he wrapped his hand around the back of one of her thighs and thrust inside her, going balls deep in just one, smooth glide, and they both shouted in pleasure.

He was far from gentle with her, moving at a brutal pace, but Kagome didn’t stop him. Instead, she encouraged him with heated moans and words entreating him to go fast still, harder. He obliged her readily. Even though he had been ready to spend just seconds ago, Sesshomaru rode her for a long time, making her climax again and again before he found his own release.

Not an hour later, after Sesshomaru had taken them to the river to wash up, Kagome’s mood had darkened once again. She had half a mind to yell at him, but she couldn’t. She would either be a hypocrite or lying if she accused him of forcing himself on her when she’d obviously encouraged him to continue. At times like this, she really wanted to get as far away from him as she possibly could and find Kikyo on her own; however, danger was everywhere, and a woman travelling alone was just asking for trouble. The safer choice was to stay with Sesshomaru—for now.

Just as they were about to head off, while Sesshomaru attempted to track down her sister’s scent, the skies opened up and it began to drizzle rain.

“No!” Kagome wailed, glaring up at the sky, though drops of rain stung her eyes. “Not now!”

Why was fate punishing her like this, repeatedly? It wasn’t fair!

“Calm down, aijin,” Sesshomaru told her, seeming unperturbed by this new delay in finding her sister.

“Calm down?” she asked incredulously, gazing at him as if he had lost his mind. “I have to—”

“—find Kikyo. Yes, I know.”

Feeling helpless yet angry, she asked, “Then how will we find her now?”

“If we find the bandits’ main forces, we’ll undoubtedly find her.”

“You know where they are?” she asked hopefully. Perhaps not all was lost after all.

“I do not.” Before his answer could deflate her spirit, he continued. “It seems you’ll be visiting the spirit world after all, but for now, we’ll have to leave off going to my home.”

This news did not encourage her in the slightest, only succeeded to making her trepidation increase.

“Uh, Sesshomaru? Why do we have to—”

He sighed, interrupting her.

“Must you always question me?”

“I wouldn’t have to if you’d just tell me what you have in mind,” she shot back with a scowl.

“Hn.” Sesshomaru lifted a brow in the face of her ire, unperturbed by her annoyance. “Firstly, you need new garments. While we find you more suitable attire, I will inquire about the humans’ whereabouts. I know someone who will undoubtedly have the information we seek.”

Kagome wasn’t sure how she felt about his plans to take her into the spirit world, a place most likely crawling with even more demons than this world. But if she must go, she was sticking beside Sesshomaru and not letting the Inugami out of her sight for even a second.

Saddling closer to him, she stood a little to the side and just behind him as he lifted his hand and made a waving motion. With a flare of power, he easily opened a portal into what she could only guess was the spirit world. At first, the image wavered, then settled, and a bustling market place appeared in the large circle just a couple feet in front of them. No, she did not like this plan at all, and grabbed Sesshomaru’s hand without thinking. After a second’s hesitation, his clawed fingers wrapped around the back of her hand.

“Do not be afraid, Kagome. You will be safe so long as you remain by my side.”

Nodding her head, she swallowed nervously, her eyes glued to the portal. “Right.”

“Come.” And he was pulling her forward, giving her little choice but to obey.

Her hand tightened as she stepped through the portal and glanced behind her to see their way out close up behind them. She sincerely hoped he knew what he was doing and could just as easily open another portal into her world.

Though filled with unease, Kagome couldn’t help but look around with wide eyed curiosity. It seemed like they were in some kind of market place. Sesshomaru easily led them to a walkway lining the many shops on one side of the main street. It didn’t escape her notice that Sesshomaru kept between her and the bustling street. Though Kagome had never been to a large town before, she was almost sure this one would be like any other in her world—save for all the demonic pedestrians milling about. Creepy three eyed vendors screamed their wares, scaly lizards slithered in and out of the shops, creatures with wings either walked on two legs or flew through the air, strange, white robed figures wearing noh masks went through solid object, and so much more. Some demons looked more grotesque then the last her eyes fell on, while some—like Sesshomaru—were beautiful, magnificent creatures. Sometimes she had a hard time telling apart their genders, so femininely ethereal some of the males were.   

The air was clear and yet it seemed oppressive to Kagome, filled with demonic energy. Though none attacked her, or hardly even gave her a second glance, she felt threatened, and her reiki felt like it was rising just under the surface of her flesh, itching and rolling about, just waiting to zap any that tried to harm her. It was disconcerting, because her powers had never reacted like this before, and she couldn’t help but worry she’d accidently be the one to start a fight, should her reiki get out of control.

Despite her worry that her powers might go out of control, her eyes continued to wander around, going left, then right, and left again, back and forth. If it wasn’t for Sesshomaru having ahold of her hand to keep her by his side, she probably would have accidently wandered off and been totally and completely lost. There was something else she noticed, more strange than all these demons ignoring a human priestess in their midst when it was obvious she was probably the only human around. When she actually began to pay attention to the demons closer to her, she noticed how they took one look at Sesshomaru and quickly skirted away, giving them plenty of room so as not to bump into other pedestrians on the walkway.

Was that a good or bad thing, she wondered with a frown, glancing up at Sesshomaru from the corner of her eye. Just who was he, and why did it seem like he inspired both fear and awe in the demons around them? Again she was reminded of just how little she knew about this Inugami, while he probably knew a lot more about her. However, when she’d tried to get to know him better, he’d seemed disinclined to cooperate with her attempts. Well, whatever the reason everyone wanted to keep a wide berth from him, Kagome decided to count it as a blessing in disguise. At least then that meant they just might continue on their way unmolested. She feared what would have happened to her had she been travelling in this world all on her own.

A shiver went down her spine at the thought, especially when she again glanced at the monsters around her. Both low level and high ranking demons walked the streets or traveled on mounts of various creatures or in wooden conveniences she knew the wealthy and nobles must use.

Not watching where she was going, Kagome missed the wooden plank that wasn’t properly nailed to the ground and stumbled over it. She would have fallen flat on her face had Sesshomaru not yanked backwards on the hand he held and caught her up against his side. Blinking quickly, she flushed crimson at her clumsy misstep and whispered her thanks and apologies without looking up at him.

“Careful, Kagome.”

That was it, just two, simple words, and yet the sound of his voice had her heart skipping a beat. It was low, too intimate, meant just for her. She felt goose bumps sprout on her forearms, and helplessly, her mind conjured up thoughts of that wicked voice murmuring heated words to her while they were wrapped in each other’s arms…

Stop thinking about it! The blush on her face now had nothing to do with embarrassment and everything to do with her growing arousal. She hoped to kami Sesshomaru wasn’t aware of her arousal with all the scents around them, but when she heard his low, husky chuckle, she _knew_ he was aware of her body’s response to him.

“Weren’t we going to an informant of yours?” she asked quickly, nervously.

“In a moment. First we need to find you more suitable garments and weapons.”

“Weapons?” she asked bemused, turning to him in question.

A silver brow lifted as he returned her gaze for a moment, before pulling her forward once more.

“A bow and quiver of arrows, or would you prefer to remain unarmed and rely on my protection, aijin? Though I will continue to keep you safe regardless, I would think you would feel more secure with a weapon in hand, am I correct?” 

“Don’t call me that!” she almost shrieked, ignoring the rest of his explanation, and glancing around them nervously, hoping no one had heard Sesshomaru use the term ‘lover’ with her.

“Hn,” was his only response, and she knew her reprimand had fallen on deaf ears like usual.

“Why does it bother you?” he surprised her by asking not a minute later. “We are lovers—”

“Sesshomaru!” she hissed. Again she looked around to see if anyone had heard, while he had the gall to chuckle. “Don’t give me that…lame excuse! You’ve been calling me that before…before…”

“We had sex?” he teased her again.

She jabbed him with her elbow, but that only seemed to amuse him more, so she seethed in embarrassed silence.

However, she all but forgot her embarrassment and anger when he propelled her into a clothes shop, where he ordered the shop keeper around like he owned the place to find her suitable garments. Surprisingly, he asked for a pair of hakama and haori for her. It was doubtful the shop had miko garments, but at least she’d finally be wearing something similar to what she was accustomed to. In a matter of minutes, a set was picked out for her, and she was ushered into a changing room before she really had a good look at them. Though she was thankful Sesshomaru hadn’t insisted on following her inside, Kagome couldn’t help but be apprehensive at being alone in this strange place filled with youkai, so she dragged her ugly, torn, and stained kimono off with a sigh of relief and yanked on her new clothes.

The inner haori was black, but the outer one was a beautiful pearly white with black embroidery along the hem, while her hakama was pitch black with glimmering stitch work of the same pearl hue in the shape of spider lilies at each hip. At first, she couldn’t help but admire the obviously expensive fabric…until she stepped out for Sesshomaru’s inspection and realized they almost matched, what with Sesshomaru’s haori white and black hakama, with just a gold obi to offset the somber tones.

Why did they have to wear similar garments? she inwardly grouched, feeling less than satisfied with her new clothes after this new knowledge. However, Sesshomaru gave a nod of approval and promptly paid for her clothes and had her hand in his once again, leading her out of the shop, and presumably towards one that sold weapons. Holding hands with him took on a whole new meaning now. Did everyone think… Did these demons believe she was his _woman_ or something? Sumptuously, Kagome tried to pull against her hand and free herself, but when Sesshomaru’s clawed hand tightened, she ceased with an internal sigh. What did it matter anyway if these strangers thought she was his? Perhaps that was a good thing, and Sesshomaru was making sure no one tried to accost her.

Yeah…maybe. She still wasn’t too thrilled about this whole situation, though. She _wasn’t_ his. No matter what they had done together in the past—like having mind blowing sex. Nope, she still wasn’t his.

Not fifteen minutes later, she felt the comfortable weight of a quiver of arrows slung over one shoulder and the smooth wood of a long bow in her free hand. She hadn’t realized until this moment how much she had felt naked without her weapon. What was more, they gave her added courage to traverse these strange streets with demons so close at hand. Her mood improved so much, she no longer felt self-conscious holding hands with Sesshomaru, or being mistaken as his paramour. Things were finally looking up.

“Sesshomaru! It’s been ages since last you’ve come to see me,” a male’s voice Kagome didn’t recognize called out farther into the next shop they entered.

“Kazuo,” Sesshomaru acknowledged, releasing Kagome’s hand as they walked farther inside what looked like a mystic’s shop.

“Ah, and I see you have a companion. A human. No, a miko. Now this is a surprise. Why are you keeping such strange company, hmm?”

Silver eyes trapped Kagome when she met this shop keeper’s stare. The irises swirled strangely yet beautifully. Eyes shouldn’t be able to do that, and Kagome had never heard of even youkai eyes having this strange quality to them. She tried to look away, to take in more of this strange man’s feature but couldn’t. She wasn’t even capable of blinking even when her eyes began to burn from lack of moisture. Fear began to snake down her spine as she willed herself to look away but getting nowhere fast.

“Enough,” Sesshomaru demanded, his voice low and filled with an icy promise of retaliation should his will not be followed.

The other youkai blinked, and as easy as that, whatever spell she had been under lifted. Shaking, Kagome took a step back and to the side, closer to Sesshomaru, not fighting the Inugami when his arm settled possessively around her shoulders, pulling her up tight against his side. Her eyes never left the silver eyed demon, but she made sure never to meet his ominous gaze again for fear they would trap her once more.

“W-what…” she whispered, uncomprehendingly.

“Kagome, this is Kazuo, a seer. Kazuo, meet the miko Kagome. She is not to be harmed,” Sesshomaru warned softly, staring the other demon down.

Kazuo only laughed in the face of the Inugami’s ire, waving a nonchalant hand in the air. “Forgive me, miko Kagome. No offense was intended. I couldn’t help myself, not when a miko walks into my shop for the first time.”

“In the future, I suggest you control your curiosity, lest it drives you to an early grave,” Sesshomaru said smoothly, with dire consequences implied but not spoken.

While they conversed, Kagome stared at Kazuo, making sure never to meet his gaze, which was easy enough, considering he seemed to have forgotten all about her presence, though she stood so close to Sesshomaru.

He was beautiful. Not as ethereal like Sesshomaru, but there was no denying how becoming the seer was. He was tall, though perhaps a couple inches shorter than the Inugami. His hair was short, spiked, and the color of blood. Also like Sesshomaru, his skin was alabaster white, but instead of demonic markings adorning his face, a gold stud flashed on his left cheek bone, just under his eye. He was clothed in rich fabrics. Though he wore silver hakama, his chest was bare, showing off his muscular physic, but over his shoulders was a robin’s egg blue kimono with a white diamond shape design lining the fabric. And on his feet he wore simple sandals, but on closer inspection, they were gold, just as expensive as the rest of his garments.   

However, she blushed and looked away before she was caught staring at the nipple ring that flashed gold when he made the smallest movement. Why was he half undressed?! she thought almost wildly. And he was a shop owner?

“It seems your human has an interest in me,” Kazuo said, his voice shifting, more seductive than before, deeper.

Kagome stiffened, realizing she hadn’t gotten away with ogling the man. Her blush, along with her discomfort, intensified.

Hearing Kazuo’s statement, Sesshomaru scowled and glanced down at Kagome, but she wasn’t looking at him, but thankfully, she wasn’t looking at the other male either. She was his, dammit. If she felt the need to stare at a man, it should only be _him_.

“You overstep,” he warned Kazuo, eyes narrowing when he saw male interest in the seer’s gaze as he studied his miko far too closely in his opinion.

Getting down to business, wanting to get Kagome as far away from Kazuo as possible, he continued. “You undoubtedly know why I am here.” Reaching into the folds of his haori sleeve, he threw several coins at the other demon, who caught them without even looking. “Give me the information I seek so that we may leave.”

“Impatient as always,” Kazuo said good-naturedly. “I keep telling you I don’t see all. In fact, I was not aware that you’d be arriving with a miko.”

“The bandit forces in the mortal world, their main stronghold. Where is it?” Sesshomaru asked, though it was more of a demand than anything.

Kazuo gave Kagome a sympathetic look, one she quickly averted, pretending to gaze at the many objects in his shop. There was magic here. She could sense it from everything within, the crystal balls, the strange boxes, the many books and there were herbs and many jars with eye balls floating around, animal feet and much more—spell components.

“I don’t know how you can stand this Inugami, miko, and I empathize with your suffering.”

Before she could answer, Sesshomaru said Kazuo’s name warningly.

“Fine, fine. Yes, I know where these humans dwell. Or at least I will shortly.”

With that, Kazuo went farther into his shop and took a seat behind an impressive mahogany desk. A rich, red fabric blanketed the top, and there were many object cluttering the surface, save for a clear space in the center—cards and more herbs, a large crystal ball and small pouches, papers and quills.

Curious, Kagome watched as the seer picked up a blue, velvet pouch, stuck his hand in and tossed a few small objects onto the table, murmuring something she did not quite catch, in a language she did not recognize. And were those…bones he’d tossed on his desk? Blinking, Kagome stepped closer when she saw something else. A map. One of the bones glowed a light blue, but she couldn’t tell where it had landed on the map.

“Here,” Kazuo said, pointing at the glowing shard, and Sesshomaru stepped nearer for a closer inspection. As he moved, he snagged her hand again, bringing her with him.

“Hn,” Sesshomaru said, eyeing the map.

Kagome barely had a glimpse of their supposed destination when he was turning and dragging her behind him, obviously intending to leave. Kagome had to walk a little faster to keep up with his long strides, but Kazuo stopped them by calling Sesshomaru’s name.

They both turned to the seer questioningly.

Without meaning to, Kagome stared into Kazuo’s silver eyes, and saw them swirl and light up with an inhuman glow. She glanced away quickly, fearing he meant to trap her again, but he didn’t seem to be seeing them, but gazing into a realm far beyond her perception.

“Beware, Sesshomaru. Your enemy is on the move. You’ll be seeing him very soon, I wager.”

“Speak more plainly. I have many enemies.”

Kazuo’s sight focused on Sesshomaru, coming back from whatever realm his foresight had taken him to.

“Oh, I’m sure you’ll remember this one. Tatsuo.”

Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed. “What of him?”

Kazuo shrugged. “I but had a mere glimpse, but it seems he has made a contract with a man you thought recently dead.” Then he glanced at Kagome meaningfully and grinned.

Sesshomaru stiffened, while Kagome’s face scrunched up in confusion.

“Who are you—” she began, only to be interrupted by Sesshomaru.

“We are leaving.”

And he was pulling on her hand, forcing her to comply.

“Hey!” Kagome exclaimed, miffed that he’d drag her around like a rag doll.

“Be sure to come back soon, Sesshomaru, and do bring the lovely miko along. If you both survive,” Kazuo called after them with dark humor lacing his voice.

Kagome had a few questions to ask Sesshomaru after Kazuo’s last few remarks, and she was pretty sure the seer had had a vision, and going by his parting statement, she had a sinking suspicion it hadn’t been good; however, when she called out to him, he only glanced at her from the corner of his eye, silencing her with just a glance. Her mouth snapped shut with an audible snap as she continued to jog after him. She was starting to get really annoyed that he continued to drag her along, but when he tugged her into an alley and waved his hand to open a portal back to her world, she allowed him to pull her out of the spirit world.

Instantly, her volatile reiki subsided, the demonic pressure all but vanishing as they stepped into the woods. Looking around, Kagome had no idea where they were, but her focus went back to Sesshomaru when he finally released her.

She waited for him to speak, but when he remained silent for long seconds, staring off into space, probably lost in thought, she again opened her mouth to speak.

“Who’s Tatsuo?”

She wanted to ask more, but thought it best to keep her inquires short and sweet, just in case he thought to interrupt her. She wasn’t sure he’d answer, but surprisingly, he did.

“An Inugami.”

Kagome blinked and waited for him to elaborate, but Sesshomaru remained silent, obviously thinking that answered everything. Not quite.

“So he’s like you?” she hedged.

He shot her a glare, causing her to take a step back. As if thinking she meant to flee, he snagged her wrist again and brought her up against his chest.

“Never run from me. I will not harm you.”

“Right,” she muttered, placing her hands on his chest, unsure as to what to do in this situation.

Ignoring how her body instantly responded to the closeness of his was hard—damn near impossible, but she’d try. She still had questions. But he was already speaking before she could voice even one.

“I am nothing like that vermin.”

“Ah… okay. Sorry. It’s just, he’s an Inugami, too…”

“That is the only similarity between us,” he said adamantly.

She was quick to nod her head, lest he think she didn’t believe him and became angry again.

“So… Who is he exactly? Kazuo seemed to think he might be a problem for us in the future.”

“You have nothing to fear. I will protect you.” Sesshomaru seemed to mule over something in his mind before continuing. “Tatsuo and I met briefly many years ago. We had an altercation, and we fought. I won. But before I could kill him, the coward fled.”

“And I’m guessing he’s out for revenge,” Kagome concluded slowly, wondering at the details of this ‘altercation’, but didn’t ask.

“Perhaps,” Sesshomaru replied noncommittally. “Come,” he continued, moving a hand to the small of her back, encouraging her to start walking with him once more. “After finding you nourishment, we shall hunt down the bandits’ main forces, and perhaps we’ll meet your sister there.” 

Finding this plan suitable, Kagome didn’t hesitate to follow after him. She just hoped they’d find Kikyo before anything bad happened to her. It was still drizzling rain, but at least the canopy of trees protected them from most of the droplets.


	23. Everyone Lies

Kagome sat huddled close to the small fire she had made, though it smoked more than it gave off flame as the wood was slightly damp, and the air was chilled, the wind blowing outside the small cave she was in. She and Sesshomaru hadn’t travelled far before the skies started to pour heavier rain, dark clouds obscured the sky, lightning flashed, and thunder clapped almost deafeningly.

Sesshomaru had picked her up and used some sort of strange energy ball to transport them at impossible speeds, before depositing her here. He’d left not too long ago, promising to find her something to cook and eat, so she’d best try and have a fire going. He’d even been kind enough to supply her with kindling he’d found. However, looking at her measly fire, Kagome wasn’t sure how effective it would be to cook game, even something small like a squirrel or a rabbit.

Her stomach growled almost painfully, informing her that it had been too long since last she’d eaten. Her gaze lifted to the barrier the Inugami had erected at the cave’s entrance for her protection. At times, she envied his ease with the use of his powers as it reminded her about her own lack of control. Sometimes—like now—she couldn’t help but feel like a failure as a priestess. The best she could do with her reiki was infuse her power into her arrows. Creating barriers and other powerful magic was beyond her, and she couldn’t understand _why_. And then she’d recall her inner jealousy and envy she felt for her elder sister.

Kikyo was a powerful miko, one of the strongest of their calling, or so Kagome had heard, which made her feel even more inadequate considering she was the younger sibling. Shouldn’t she be just as, or near as, powerful as Kikyo, considering that they were blood related? And yet, Kagome was one of the weakest of their calling. However, though she envied Kikyo, Kagome did not hate her or have hard feelings for her. She still loved Kikyo, even hero worshiped her to some extent.

With a small sigh, she poked the measly fire with a stick.

Outside, the wind howled again, rain beating heavily against the ground. She was thankful that Sesshomaru’s barrier not only provided her with protection against any and all threats but also to keep out the elements. She was miserable enough as it was, cold and her clothes were damp. An added bonus, it kept the fire from going out. Kagome stared at the rising smoke, watching it escape the barrier. At least Sesshomaru had weaved the magic where things could leave or she’d die of smoke inhalation. She could leave, too, if she was so inclined, which she was not.

Until the saw the child.

She was small, filthy, and sopping wet. Before Kagome could get over the shock of seeing a child here of all places, a low rumble began. At first, Kagome thought it was thunder, but when a wolf stepped out of the trees behind the little girl, the sound was actually its fierce growls. Eyes wide, Kagome stared at the child and saw what the rain tried to hide; she was bleeding, her small arm hanging limply at her side, with her kimono torn at the shoulder, revealing a vicious wound.  

Jumping to her feet, Kagome quickly yanked an arrow out of her quiver she had on the ground, picked up her bow, and notched her arrow. She didn’t have much time to aim as the wolf tensed to jump his prey. With a snarl, it launched itself into the air, teeth bared at the little girl, who had stumbled and fallen to the ground with a cry. With a _thwank_ that was almost soundless in the pouring rain, Kagome released her arrow, where it imbedded itself in the wolf’s hind leg. The animal made a high pitched whine, landing ungracefully next to the screaming girl, before lurching to its feet again, and limped away.

Fearful of another attack as wolves usually travelled in packs, Kagome quickly flung her quiver of arrows over her shoulder, and ran out of the little cave to kneel beside the unmoving form in the mud.

“Hey! Girl? Girl! Say something. Are you alright?” Kagome shouted above the storm.

When the child remained unresponsive, Kagome reached down to place her hand on her small back…only to have her palm go right through the girl. Kagome blinked in confusion. The little girl’s image flickered, then vanished—an illusion. Before the ramifications of that discovery could completely process in her mind, she felt an unfamiliar, demonic presence behind her.

She started to turn—too late.

Blackness invaded her senses, unconsciousness rushed up to drag her down into nothingness, and she fainted.

 

“Miko? Are you awake? Kagome?”

_That…voice… It sounds familiar…_

Just as Kagome was blinking her eyes open, trying to focus on the man who hovered over her, she felt a large, warm palm cup her right cheek tenderly.

“Sesshomaru?” she murmured, but as soon as she uttered the Inugami’s name, she knew it wasn’t he.

“No, Kagome. Don’t you remember me?” the man asked, drawing his hand away from her face.

Her sense of touch told her that she was lying on a futon, on the floor, a large kimono blanketing her, and a small pillow under her head. However, as soon as her sight came in to focus, she saw someone she never thought to see again.

“Onigumo?! Is that… It can’t be. You died!”

A bewildered Kagome stared up at the handsome bandit commander, her eyes travelling over his face, not understanding how he was kneeling beside her. He was wearing different clothing, dark blue hakama and haori, though his haori had a green and yellow bow pattern along the fabric, and he wore a sleeveless, purple robe over it. Even his long, black hair was pulled back into a high ponytail, though a few tresses spilled over his shoulders. He was alive, and though his face was pale, it was the same complexion as she remembered, not cold and lifeless. Or so she thought. It was dark in the room, no candle was lit, and outside it still sounded like a storm was raging.

Onigumo’s small chuckle held no amusement. His dark brown eyes regarded her strangely, but there was still warmth behind that emotion she could not seem to place.

“I would have, no thanks to your…friend.”

“My friend?” Kagome asked in confusion, her face scrunched up in a frown, not sure who he was referring to.

“Are you thirsty?” he asked unexpectedly, reaching by his right side to pick up a pitcher of water and pour the liquid into a small cup.

Just then, lightning flashed, and Kagome had a clearer view of the room she was in for a few seconds. It wasn’t small nor was it large, and on her right was a closed screen, keeping the elements from rushing into the room. A barren room. The only thing inside were them and the futon she was on. The lack of furniture and décor made her uneasy. In fact, this whole situation made her uncomfortable. How had she gotten here—

“Kagome?” Onigumo asked, calling to her when she did not answer right away.

“Ah, yes. Thank you.”

Sitting up, she reached for the cup he held out to her, their fingers touching. While she drank, lubricating her dry mouth and parched throat, she eyed him, trying to remain calm even though she wanted to demand answers and go into hysterics.

“What happened, Onigumo?”

Kagome meant how had she gotten there. The last thing she recalled was a small girl who’d been injured, trying to escape a wolf, only to learn that it had all been an illusion. She remembered feeling a demonic presence then nothing. However, Onigumo thought she meant what had happened to him, and how he’d escaped with his injuries.

“It was a miracle,” began Onigumo. “I tried to escape the burning hut, but with my shattered knee, there was no way for me to escape.” The smile he had was self-mocking. “A just end for a bandit such as me, wouldn’t you say?”

“Then how did you…”

“Escape? Not on my own, that’s certain. Do you know who informed the villagers of my identity, Kagome?”

Onigumo watched her carefully, to see if she had been a part of his attempt in murder. He didn’t want to believe such a thing of her, not after all she had done to try to help him, but he had to be sure. He’d missed her these last few days, his little bird. Had Kagome missed him, too? Mourned for his supposed death? Gazing at her new clothes, he was pleased to see her out of those ugly rags he’d last seen her in, but the fabric was expensive. Obviously, the Inugami had given her better clothes. Funny how Sesshomaru dressed her in garments so similar in coloring to his own. Had that been on purpose? Was it a sign of his possession of the girl? More importantly, had the beast taken her innocence? Just the thought of that bastard touching Kagome intimately boiled his blood with anger and jealousy.

At his question, she shook her head, denying having any knowledge to the perpetrator who’d sold him out. He believed her, for her expression was without guile, and her eyes met his squarely. Kagome had far too expressive a face, but at least it served him well when he questioned her.

A feeling of profound relief swamped him, and he smiled gently at her, before lifting his hand to stroke the back of her hair. Her black tresses were silky soft, beautiful, just like the rest of her.

“You travel with Sesshomaru.”

Her chocolate eyes turned wary. “Yes.”

“And you have many questions that need answering.”

This time, she nodded her head. Lifting her left arm, she gently, but firmly, batted his hand aside, stopping his petting, causing him to chuckle.

“Still uneasy around me, little bird?” he murmured wickedly. “Do you really believe I would attack you?”

“Enough games, Onigumo,” she said in a low, commanding voice. “How did I get here? Why am I here? How are you…healed so quickly? I have many questions, and I’d like them answered, please.”

“You’re no fun,” he complained good-naturedly. “Alright, business first.” Then he grinned mischievously at her. “Then perhaps we move on to the pleasure.”

Kagome rolled her eyes at him.

“Can’t you be serious for five minutes? This is serious here!” she chastised him.

And like it had never been, Onigumo’s smile vanished.

“Sesshomaru told the villagers of my identity. Is that serious enough for you?”

Kagome stiffened, her back going ramrod straight. She’d heard him wrong, right? Surely Onigumo hadn’t just said that…that Sesshomaru was the cause of the whole, gruesome ordeal? She stared blankly at the man beside her for long seconds.

“Sesshomaru..?” she whispered.

 _No, please tell me I heard wrong, or that this is some kind of sick joke,_ she silently thought, trying to will Onigumo to retract his words.

However, Onigumo nodded, dashing her silent hope. Worse, he went a step further to describe exactly what had happened.

“After you left, Sesshomaru appeared,” Onigumo began in a hard, tight voice, obviously still angry—more than angry, actually—about what had happened. “He made sure that I was aware that I had outlived my usefulness concerning my failure to know the location of your sister, and that he’d come to reclaim you for himself. Even as the angry villagers approached, I could hear their screaming and shouting, the bastard let me know that they’d come to take their revenge on the commander of the bandit forces that has terrorizing the country side of late.”

Kagome emanated a small sound of dismay. This can’t be true. Onigumo was wrong, _lying_. That grisly day not so long ago filtered back into her mind easily. The shouting villagers, the angry faces, the burning hut, and Onigumo’s screams of agony. It was all too clear in her mind’s eye, every last detail, even when a villager had struck her with a rock. She still had a bruise on her forehead from that time, though thankfully her bangs hid the small wound.

Then she remembered Sesshomaru saving her out of nowhere, and even he had admitted that he’d been watching over her without her knowledge. He hadn’t lifted a finger to try and save Onigumo, not that she should blame him for that, or expect him to save everyone in need. But she couldn’t stop herself from feeling some resentment towards his attitude towards human life, his blatant disregard for anyone other than himself. He was right; he _didn’t_ have to save everyone. But it was the right thing to do, regardless. Ignoring another’s plight when it was within one’s power to give aid was…

Kagome shook her head. She shouldn’t be judging Sesshomaru, and yet she couldn’t seem to stop herself. It was wrong, wasn’t it?

And if Sesshomaru had been watching her, knew of her dire circumstances when the mob turned on her, then he’d allowed that rock to strike her. Why? As punishment? She wouldn’t put it past him. He’d told her that he’d never hurt her so long as she followed their contract, but he’d never said he wouldn’t teach her a lesson by another’s painful hand.

Sesshomaru claimed that he’d protect her. He had, but he’d also allowed her to come to harm. The only answer she could come to as to why he’d do that was to teach her a lesson. And what was that? The answer came to her readily; it was so obvious, even she could see it.

Sesshomaru hadn’t been happy with her for choosing to help Onigumo instead of leaving him to die and follow Sesshomaru. Had he been trying to tell her—silently—that she couldn’t survive in the world without his protection? She sure as hell had felt grateful for his rescue, indebted to him, thought more kindly of him for saving her—again. If that had been another one of his aims, he’d succeeded.

“Are you saying that Sesshomaru had been jealous of…you and me?” Kagome asked on a whisper, already knowing the answer before Onigumo confirmed it.

Yes. She knew Sesshomaru was possessive, that he considered her his for as long as the contract remained active between them.

Oh, God! The things he’d done to her, the things she’d _let_ him do to her. Just thinking of the sexual acts they’d done together made her sick with revulsion. Sesshomaru had lied to her. She had let a murderer…

Trying to distract herself, she asked, “How did you heal so fast? Your knee seems to be much better.” _Impossibly better. There’s no way you could have healed in just a few days, not with a shattered knee. In fact, that injury should have crippled you for life._ She didn’t say what was on her mind, but she was thinking it, eyeing said knee with confusion.

Onigumo gripped the knee that had been broken, prompting her to look up and stare into his eyes again, waiting for his answer.

“Magic.” He winked at her. “But I’ll get to that part later, but first…”

Kagome couldn’t believe he’d just dismiss something so important without telling her! Magic? What did he mean?

“He’s been lying to you, Kagome, from the very beginning,” murmured Onigumo.

Kagome blinked, momentarily confused as to what he was talking about. Then she remembered. They’d been talking about Sesshomaru, and his part in the villagers trying to murder him. Onigumo’s words implied that there was more she was yet unaware concerning Sesshomaru. Did she even want to know? Yes. No. Maybe… 

She didn’t ask, but Onigumo told her anyway.

Onigumo could see the hurt in Kagome’s eyes, and somehow knowing that she blamed Sesshomaru, judged the Inugami for his murderous actions even though Onigumo was not a saint himself, filled him with contentment. No. It was more than that. He was happy about her reaction. Gratified by it, for it gave him hope that he could win her for himself and make her his. He wasn’t sure why, but Kagome had become an obsession of his. Her kind spirit and innocence had ensnared him, and he wanted her.

“I have it on good authority that Sesshomaru was there when your village was destroyed.”

“You mean my village _you_ destroyed,” Kagome reminded him, glaring hatefully at him for the first time since seeing him.

 _She hates me,_ he realized, trying not to show his surprise.

Of course she’d hate him, he chastised himself not a second later. He had been a part of her village’s destruction, killing everyone and burning everything in sight. And yet, her bad feelings towards him, her anger, hatred, and resentment had surprised him. She’d helped him, spoken kindly—if shortly—to him, that he’d almost forgotten about all that he’d taken from her, and to remind her now when he was trying to make her hate Sesshomaru, to reject the demon, was not a smart move on his part.

He felt like kicking himself, cursing his stupidity. However, it was too late now to take back his words, and far too late to take back what he had done to her home. He couldn’t turn back time, couldn’t bring back the dead. He’d hurt her; Onigumo could see the accusation and pain in Kagome’s expression, and he felt…sorrow for the pain he had caused her.

 _If you hate me so much,_ he wondered, _then why did you help me?_ _Why didn’t you let me die?_ He didn’t ask, couldn’t. He didn’t think he’d like the answer or deserved to ask, to question her motives.

Trying to rectify the situation—if possible, though it could never right the wrongs he had done—Onigumo went back to the point he had been making before she’d interrupted him and given him her death glare.

“Yes, I have not forgotten,” he said gravely, before moving on to what he’d been about to say. “However, Sesshomaru was aware that the bandits, my forces, were coming. He could have sounded the alarm or tried to stop us, but he did not.”

Disbelief was predominant on Kagome’s face, and Onigumo was sure that she was being stubborn not because she didn’t believe that the Inugami was incapable of such a thing, but because she was reminded of his involvement in ransacking her village. She was going to be purposefully stubborn, he knew. Her intentions were all too clear on her expressive face.

“I don’t believe you,” she spat, her hands bunching her blanket in her anger. “Why would Sesshomaru do such a thing? He has no reason to lie to me about that. I admit, even if he had been around, he probably wouldn’t have saved the village, but he had no reason to lie to me about not being present upon your arrival.”

“So naïve,” an unfamiliar, male voice cut in, surprising both humans.

Two pairs of brown eyes turned towards the doorway to eye the stranger standing there. He was tall and impossibly gorgeous. Onigumo was a very handsome man, but even the bandit paled in comparison to this stranger. His hair was long, spilling over his shoulder to his broad chest, wavy and dark brown. He had a sculptured face the gods’ themselves would envy, almond shaped eyes, and a striking ice blue color that glowed in the shadowed room. Looking at his collar, she saw that he wore two garments under his haori. The layer closest to his body was white, the other a pale blue, and his haori was a darker blue but not the midnight color of Onigumo’s. His haori even had small, gold swirl patterns across the fabric, and his hakama was a deeper shade of blue, similar to Onigumo’s. 

But unlike the bandit, this stranger had a long and short sword sheathed at his left hip. And he was a demon, Kagome sensed, tensing at the realization. Before she could ask who he was, he spoke again, his deep voice low but easily heard.

“Do you really believe that Sesshomaru had no ulterior motive, miko? What is the one thing he’d wanted you to do after all your friends and family had died?”

“I don’t—” Kagome began with a frown only to have the answer pop into her mind.

Revenge.

Kagome sucked in her breath on a soft gasp, remembering. Sesshomaru had wanted her to become angry at the bandits for what they’d done, to take her revenge upon them and make them pay with their lives. She lifted a hand to her head, feeling a headache coming on. Sesshomaru hadn’t let her village be destroyed because he hadn’t felt inclined to play the hero, he’d wanted them all to die, for everything to be destroyed to further his aim in tainting her, to corrupt her.

Pain made every beat of her heart pound uncomfortably against her chest, and she moved her hand from her head, to place it over her chest, as if she could stop the pain, but that was impossible.

“Y-you’re lying,” she whispered. He had to be lying!

“Am I?” the stranger asked her conversationally, as if it didn’t matter to him if she believed him or not. “He’s lied and manipulated you into many things. Take your contract for example. It’s not real.”

“What?”

She hadn’t heard him right. Surely, she was misinterpreting his words, and yet dread pooled low in her gut, for she had a sinking suspicion that he might just be telling her the truth.

“You heard me. Your contract. It doesn’t exist. Neither of you exchanged enough blood. It takes more than a small prick from each of you to form a contract with an Inugami.”

Angry now, Kagome got to her feet, refusing to stay on the ground while this man looked down his nose at her. Onigumo was quick to follow her example and rise, but when he said her name worriedly, before attempting to put a hand on her lower back, she pushed his arm away, ignoring him.

“And who are you to voice such accusations? What proof do you have?” she demanded heatedly, glaring into his ice blue eyes. 

“Why, I’m an Inugami as well. If anyone, I would know how a contract is made between one of my kind and a human.”

Realization struck. “You’re Tatsuo, aren’t you?”

“Heard of me, have you? So Sesshomaru’s been gossiping about me behind my back, has he?” Tatsuo asked lazily.

He crossed his arms and continued to meet her gaze, unfazed by the emotions swirling inside her breast, uncaring how his words savaged her heart and mind.

“As if I’d trust you! You’re Sesshomaru’s enemy. You’re just trying to turn me against him. Well the jokes on you ‘cause I don’t believe a word you’ve said!” Kagome said heatedly, her voice raising.

“I admit that I am not the most trustworthy demon, and I do have a certain dislike for Sesshomaru; however, I am not lying to you,” Tatsuo replied calmly.

His calm in the face of her anger only set Kagome’s teeth on edge.

“You have no proof,” she said again. “If you do, then let’s see it.”

“Kagome,” Onigumo said, regaining her attention, but she only spared him a glance before returning her gaze to the Inugami standing in the doorway.

“So this is what you meant by magic healing you. Tatsuo saved you, healed you. You made a contract with him, didn’t you?”

Now she cut him another sidelong glance, looking Onigumo straight in the eye though she kept Tatsuo in her periphery vision. She didn’t trust this Inugami, and she sure as hell didn’t trust Onigumo either.

Onigumo stared helplessly at Kagome. Things were not progressing as smoothly as he had planned. He supposed that was an idiotic oversight of his. He should have realized that convincing Kagome would be difficult, but Sesshomaru was a demon. Surely a miko would not place much trust in such a being? Or at least, that had been his thoughts concerning the matter. Was Kagome blind and had misplaced feelings for Sesshomaru?

The thought angered him, for that creature did not deserve her regard. Neither did he, but he dismissed the thought quickly. He could change, redeem himself. Something. However, a demon was nothing but pure evil, especially in Sesshomaru’s case. He had to open Kagome’s eyes to Sesshomaru’s deceit.

“Can you really say that you trust Sesshomaru, Kagome?” he asked. “Look at me! I’m living proof that he’s lied to you. Who else would have known about my true identity? He told the villagers. Sesshomaru is the one who’d tried to have me burned alive!”

“That’s enough! I don’t have to believe you,” Kagome cried, glaring at Onigumo, even taking a step back from him. “Who are you to call another a deceiver, a murderer when you have committed the same crimes countless times?”

“Kagome,” Onigumo said through gritted teeth, stepping up to her and grabbing her by the shoulders. “Listen to me. He’s lying to—”

“Don’t touch me!”

She jerked away from him and moved farther back, out of his reach.

“I don’t believe you!”

“You don’t _have_ to, but you do,” Tatsuo said.

Before she could turn back to him, the Inugami moved fast, crowding her against the wall, though he didn’t tough her physically. He was too close, unnerving her by his intimidating presence. Though he wasn’t really threatening her, Kagome didn’t want him this near her. She was forced to tilt her head back far just to meet his gaze.

Tatsuo’s eyes seemed cold, and not just because the color was such a light blue, striking really, and unnerving as hell staring into them this close.

“You believe everything we’ve said,” Tatsuo said.

“Tatsuo,” Onigumo said, his voice hard, not liking how close he was to Kagome.

“Do you believe I plan to cause her harm, Onigumo?” he asked without glancing away from her. Then he seemed to dismiss the other man’s presence.

He was right, damn him! Kagome did believe them, because, while she didn’t know Sesshomaru that well, she knew enough, and she wouldn’t put it past him to lie to her. Why did it feel like a betrayal? Sesshomaru hadn’t betrayed her, he’d just lied to her. Monstrous lies. They didn’t have a contract? Why? Why hadn’t he forced a true contract on her? Instead of doing so, he’d lied about it. Which mean, everything he’d forced her to do, to watch, was for nothing. The thought was painful.

All those lives she’d stood back and allowed to be snuffed out, all that blood on her hands—for _nothing_. With bleak realization, Kagome recalled everything Sesshomaru had done to try to corrupt her. Though the people he’d murdered were vile, evil men, she was a miko. It wasn’t up to her who lived and died. She was no man’s executioner. That was up to the law, not her.

She’d let him inside her body. They’d had sex. Kagome only now realized that Sesshomaru was probably only taking advantage of her confusion concerning Kikyo and her lover. He’d used her insecurities, her station, against her, twisting logic, and easily manipulating her feelings to get what he wanted. Her innocence. That was part of their ‘contract’, not only to corrupt her soul but to possess her chaste body. And she’d given _that_ to him.

She thought she’d been using him that first time they’d lain together, when in actuality, he’d used her. Worse, he’d played her. She was such a fool.

Kagome looked away from Tatsuo, unable to hold his penetrating gaze for a second longer. All the fight went out of her. However, the resentment she’d felt for Sesshomaru since meeting him festered, growing inside her, almost choking her with bitter anger.

Her family and home was gone, her peace of mind and naïve innocence concerning the world and the people who lived in it was shattered, but what really made her hate Sesshomaru was that she’d allowed him to get inside not only her mind, but her heart. He’d made her care for him, to believe that he wasn’t as bad a person as he appeared. Because of her stupidity in thinking that he was not fully a terrible being, she’d allowed him to have her body. It was a gift a woman could only give once, and she’d given in to a monster.

And she _despised_ him for that.

Tatsuo chuckled, the first sign of emotion from him, which had her glaring up at him, wanting to slap that smirk right off his face for laughing at her. And he _was_ laughing at her; she knew it.

“What a fierce expression, miko. I can feel your bitterness and hatred emanated off of you in waves. It leaves a noticeable dark spot on your pure light.”

He leaned in towards her, placing his left hand on the wall inches from her face, and put his face right before her own. Kagome leaned more heavily against the wall, not liking how he hovered over her.

“If you don’t back up, I’ll give you a taste of my pure light,” she warned him softly even though she wasn’t sure she could back up her claim.

“Threatening me?” he murmured, his breath brushing her cheek. He didn’t sound afraid or even concerned about it, which angered her. “I’m not going to harm you, little miko. However, I will give you the power and resolve necessary to obtain the revenge you would otherwise deny yourself.”

Before she could even think to form a reply to that cryptic comment, Tatsuo placed his palm over her heart and began to murmur in a language she did not know. Blinking up at him in confusion, Kagome hesitated too long, realizing too late that he was performing magic—on her.

“Stop!” she shouted.

 

Sesshomaru stood gazing at the empty cave. Though his barrier was intact, Kagome was not within, so she had to have willingly stepped out. He could smell her scent just outside the cave, right where he was standing. Why had she left the safety he’d provided her with? And that other scent. Anger built inside him that the Inugami would dare come after one of his possessions. Was Tatsuo aware of Kagome’s unique soul, the natural purity in her nature, and sought to have her himself?

Underneath his anger was worry, because regardless of Tatsuo’s knowledge concerning Kagome, there was no knowing what he had planned for the girl. However, with everything he knew about the other Inugami, Sesshomaru knew that it didn’t bode well for his miko. Rape. Torture. Tatsuo could easily make her mad, insane from both physical and mental torture. Sesshomaru didn’t want to think about all the ways one could go about accomplishing such a deed, but he did, and every imagining only made him angrier and more worried.

Not only was his pissed at Tatsuo, his ire was also directed towards Kagome, that stupid girl. Why had she left his barrier? Right now, that hardly mattered. What _did_ matter was reclaiming her before too much damage was done to her. Just the thought of what state he was going to find Kagome in filled him with dread, but also anger.

 _Tatsuo, you bastard,_ he inwardly seethed, clenching his molars and his hands into tight fists, his claws digging into his palms, drawing blood.

Sesshomaru inwardly berated himself. He hadn’t been aware of Tatsuo’s presence, had even moved farther away from Kagome when he’d sensed a few demonic presences nearby. They were weak demons, low level, but possible threats to Kagome, and he’d hunted them down and slain them as quickly as possible, before killing a rabbit for her dinner. He’d even skinned and gutted it for her, but now the small carcass lay abandoned and forgotten in the forest as he moved closer to where he’d left her, picking up Tatsuo’s scent. Now he realized how stupid _he_ had been. Those low level demons had been a distraction while Tatsuo abducted the miko, and right under his nose.

It made him feel gullible, like an idiot, but above all, a failure. Kagome was his to protect, and he’d failed her.

Sesshomaru’s eyes settled on a tree not far away, finally heeding the pulse of youki that emanated from the spot. Ignoring the rain, his wet clothes that hung heavily on him, even the mud that sucked at his boots, Sesshomaru’s eyes narrowed on the bark. A large chunk had been stripped away from the trunk of the tree at his eye level, and a message cut into the wood.

All it gave was directions. Obviously, Tatsuo wanted him to go there. There were no demands, no assurance that Kagome or even Tatsuo would be waiting, and it was most likely a trap.

It didn’t matter.

Though Sesshomaru had lost to Tatsuo by allowing him to get past his guard and take Kagome, he would win her back and kill Tatsuo once and for all.

Turning on his heel, Sesshomaru used the fastest means of transportation under his command, allowing a ball of energy to surround him, and headed towards his destination. In the back of his mind, he wondered why he worried for the girl so fiercely.

What was she _doing_ to him?


	24. Even the Mighty Fall

“What the hell do you think you’re doing, demon?!” Onigumo shouted, charging Tatsuo.

Tatsuo didn’t glance at him, didn’t raise a hand in his direction; however, a strong force struck him in the chest, sending him flying backwards, only to strike the far wall painfully. Onigumo’s back crashed into the wood, and his skull cracked sickeningly against the wall. Even as he fell awkwardly in a heap upon the floor, darkness lined his vision, nausea threatening to spill his stomach’s contents upon the floor, which he barely kept at bay.

“You are becoming a nuisance, _human_ ,” Tatsuo told him after he’d finished chanting in a language Onigumo didn’t understand. “Have a care that you do not anger me further.”

Lifting his pounding head, Onigumo winced, forcing his vision to focus on the two standing several feet from him. Tatsuo had an arm around Kagome’s back, while his other hand cupped her elbow, and she was leaning into his body, looking almost child-like next to the towering Inugami. Her hand was cupping her forehead like she was either dizzy or experiencing a headache. Worry got him back on his feet, though Onigumo had to place a hand on the wall behind him for support.

“What did you do to her?” Onigumo demanded, disregarding Tatsuo’s warning.

“Fulfilling our contract,” Tatsuo answered easily. “You wanted two things, for me to save your worthless, human life, and to see Sesshomaru die for attempting to have you killed.” Now, he turned his cunning, ice blue eyes on him, unnerving Onigumo. Tatsuo drew Kagome a step closer to Onigumo, prompting him to look at the girl. “Here is the key to your vengeance.”

“The key to my—” Onigumo began incredulously, only to scowl at the Inugami. “You can’t mean to pit this girl against Sesshomaru. He’ll kill her! How does that accomplish anything?” he spat.

Tatsuo tenderly stroked the back of Kagome’s head. If that gesture wasn’t strange enough, then Kagome’s meek acceptance of his touch was. Her hair veiled her face as she leaned her head against Tatsuo’s chest, so Onigumo could not tell what she was thinking or if she was alright after Tatsuo had… What exactly had he done to her? Onigumo didn’t know and that worried him.

“Did you hear that, little bird?” Tatsuo asked, mocking Onigumo for the endearment he was wont to call the miko. “Our Onigumo lacks faith in your abilities.”

At his words, Kagome finally lifted her head, her hair falling back from her face to reveal an expression Onigumo had never seen there before. The grin that split her mouth was ugly and mocking. And her eyes. They were black, even the whites of her eyes, leaving nothing but a dark void. Pure evil. Trepidation and unease slithered down Onigumo’s spine at the chilling sight. This was not Kagome standing before him, but a twisted version of the girl.

“Onigumo, do you fear for my safety?” she purred at him.

Even her voice was different, sultrier, but what really caught his attention was the malice he heard beneath her seductive tone. He swallowed thickly. 

“This is not what I wanted,” he said in a low tone. “Kagome isn’t a part of this. I will not have her placed in danger!” he ended in a stronger voice, glaring at Tatsuo.

“You don’t have a choice in the matter,” Tatsuo replied without expression or inflection in his voice.

“The hell I don’t!” Onigumo took a threatening step forward, his hand going to his side reflexively, but ended up empty handed as his sword was not at his side.

“Once you agreed to our contract, all your choices were taken from you.”

Onigumo narrowed his eyes in confusion. “What did you say?”

“Did you really believe there would be no price for an Inugami’s aid? Always something precious is taken from the human who agrees to one of my kind’s aid—wealth, station, family and friends, _something_. In Kagome’s case, Sesshomaru wanted to corrupt her innocence, in body and mind, to open her eyes to the darkness within herself and for her to bask in its existence.”

“He wanted to take what made her a priestess and corrupt it,” he surmised, understanding completely. Foreboding sank Onigumo’s heart. “And what is my price..?”

He knew before Tatsuo answered.

“This girl.” Again Tatsuo stroked Kagome’s hair. “This miko is the one person you care about in this world.”

“You want her to die!” he charged. Fear for Kagome gave him courage. “I dissolve our contract effective immediately!”

“Going back on our contract means your life,” was Tatsuo’s ominous reply.

That gave Onigumo pause, but only for a moment. “Kill me. Do your worst,” he spat. “Just leave Kagome out of this.” Even thieves had some honor, or at least it seemed he did—for Kagome. 

He tensed, waiting for death to take him, but Tatsuo never struck. Instead, he chuckled, the sound soft and filled with dark amusement.

“I’m afraid your sacrifice would be in vain. Even if I killed you now, I would still use the girl.” Now Tatsuo narrowed his eyes at him, for the first time showing a spark of his ire, obviously not pleased in the slightest by Onigumo’s attempt to dissolve their contract prematurely. “I should kill you now for your impudence; however, I find myself in a benevolent mood. For informing me of Sesshomaru’s strange attachment to this girl, I will allow you to see your vengeance through.”

Onigumo wouldn’t accept this decree easily. Kagome’s life was on the line, for God’s sake!

“What about what Kagome wants?! It should be her choice if she is willing to sacrifice her life for your vendetta. This isn’t about my revenge, it’s about yours.”

Suddenly, Tatsuo turned Kagome towards himself and cupped her face in his large palms, looking deeply into the void of her eyes. “What do you want, little bird? What do you yearn for?” he murmured to her, surprising Onigumo that he would actually ask her. 

“Vengeance,” she said silkily.

No. This wasn’t right, thought Onigumo. Tatsuo had done something to her. This wasn’t the Kagome he knew, and he doubted she would have ever answered thusly and meant it.

Tatsuo leaned down, bowing his back so that he could place a mockingly tender kiss upon her brow. He acted like he truly cared for the miko, but Onigumo wasn’t a fool. Both of them were merely pawns for Tatsuo’s amusement, toys to be used and discarded without care.

Then Tatsuo and Kagome turned to gaze at him, both eyes demonic and filled with malicious glee.

“There’s your answer,” Tatsuo murmured to him.

 _What have I done?_ Onigumo thought, staring at the vile woman who looked like the miko but wasn’t really her.

_I’m…sorry, Kagome._

 

It was a trap. That knowledge was predominant in Sesshomaru’s mind as he entered the abandoned manor of some human lord who obviously no longer took up residence here. Or perhaps he’d died, his men and servants fled. Perhaps they all had died. If so, there was no evidence of a slaughter or battle. No corpses. No signs that the castle had been under siege. Nothing. Merely abandoned.

It was still dark out, though night had yet to fall, the storm continuing to rage, the wind howling, and he was soaked. His wet garments bothered him not in the slightest, a minor discomfort easily ignored as he walked into the receiving room. His footfalls echoed around the vast room, shadows only dispelled with the frequent flashing of lightning through the large windows, but no shadow was dark enough for his keen sight not to see through regardless.

He’d thought that Kagome, perhaps even Tatsuo, wouldn’t be here when he arrived, but they were. He could sense their presence, even caught their scents. Even Onigumo’s. The wretch was still alive, and he could guess how. Tatsuo. He must have been watching Sesshomaru for some time to be able to come to the bandit’s aid in time. And Tatsuo had done it without his knowledge. An oversight he was beginning to regret. There were ways to spy without even Sesshomaru being aware that he was being watched.

It mattered not which means Tatsuo had used, only that he save Kagome and kill that bastard, as well as Onigumo. Was Kagome already aware of his involvement in the man’s attempted murder? Would she blame him? Despise him? More disconcerting was the thought that Tatsuo had informed Kagome of their lack of a true contract, because another Inugami could sense when a human had forged such bonds with one of his kind.

Did Tatsuo plan to take Kagome from him and forge a contract with him? But on what grounds? It was unlikely that Kagome would willingly make such an arrangement with Tatsuo. Unless she was under some type of duress.

Was Kagome praying that he’d come save her once again? Or would she spit in his face at the sight of him if she knew about all the lies he’d given her?

Someone was here.

Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at the doorway yards away from him, leading out of the room and farther into the manor. He knew not who it was, but he was tired of waiting.

“Show yourself,” he commanded. “I know that you are there, coward.”

A twinkling laugh filtered towards him, the sound filled with mirth and something else.

“Come to rescue me, nushi? How gallant of you.”

Sesshomaru stiffened at that familiar voice even before Kagome stepped out and stood staring back at him, a small, mischievous grin on her face. His eyes narrowed at hearing the term she called him. He recalled teasingly telling her, that first day that they had met, that she could refer to him as such, but it went against her nature to do so. Kagome was far too contrary a woman for such endearments.

As he gazed at her, he knew instantly why she’d mocked him thusly. Her eyes were back, darkness completely taking over. If that wasn’t telling enough, her aura was different. No longer could he sense her purity.

Something akin to a dark miko stood before him. Worse, a soul completely taken over by darkness.

“You seem displeased to see me,” Kagome commented when he refused to speak, only stared at her. “Surely you’ve noticed what’s happened.” She walked towards him, her movements more feminine, seductive, than before. “Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted from me?”

“No,” he stated.

He allowed her to approach, didn’t stop her when she lifted her hand and trailed a delicate finger across his chest, circling him. He didn’t turn with her, letting her stand at his back. A pulse of power, wind brushing against his legs, and he knew that she was hovering off the floor to whisper in his ear, her breath hot.

“No?” she inquired in a low, intimate tone. “Really? I think you lie.” Her right arm reached around him, across his body so she could stroke his left cheek, even as she leaned her own against his other cheek. Her left hand rested lightly upon his left shoulder blade. “You’ve been a very bad man, Sesshomaru. I know all your lies. Did you really think I wouldn’t find out?”

She tensed the barest bit, her dark aura flaring, his only warning.

Like smoke, he vanished from her embrace before she could strike, knew she had intended to blast through his back and strike at his heart. Sesshomaru rematerialized a few feet before her. Kagome seemed unconcerned at his escape, unfazed, actually happy to prolong the fight he knew was coming.

She hovered about a foot above the ground. How? She was exhibiting powers even a dark miko could not perform without some type of spell. The answer came to him instantly. Tatsuo. Not only had be managed to blacken her soul, but he’d gifted her with some of his powers. That was why her eyes were black pits, why her aura was so corrupted, all but wiping out her pure light. Or was it gone forever? He could not sense even a hint of the woman she’d once been.

“You lied about our contract.” As she named his sins, she flung her arm outward, sending a wave of dark energy at him, intending to cut him down.

Using his own arm, he easily defected the blow, hitting it with his forearm and sending it away from him, only for it to slam into the wall and blast a hole through the wood.

“You lied when my village had come under attack.” Another wave of her arm. Another blast. Again he deflected it like last time. “You let them die not because you didn’t want to save them.” Again she attacked, again he sent it flying into the other wall. “They died because you wanted me to be in pain.”

Pointing her index finger at him, electricity pulsed down her arm and flared out of the digit aimed at him. Sesshomaru tried to catch it in the palm of his hand and deflect this new attack as well; instead, the bolt zapped him, going up his arm, and racking his nerves with sharp, pulsing waves of agony that went through his entire body. Sesshomaru merely gritted his teeth, refusing to cry out.

“You wanted me to feel loss.” Her voice began to rise, her anger leaking through even as she attacked him, firing her lightning at him, forcing him to dodge. The blast hit the far wall behind him with a loud crash. “To lose everything, to thirst for vengeance.”

Her attacks came swifter, and she was screaming the words at him. Flinging the accusations in his face even as she tried to land another blow, probably intending to kill him. He summersaulted in the air, leaping this way and that, even back flipped at one point, landing on the wall, only to push off the surface to dodge another strike.

As he landed in a crouch, Kagome was suddenly before him, crouching, too, so that she could look him in the eye.

“But you wanna know the worst part?” Her palms settled over his chest, somehow freezing him in place. His muscles stiffened, turning to ice, and though her hands did not touch his bare flesh, they burned him. A cold so glacier it felt like it was burning the flesh right off muscle and tendon.

Even as she leaned in to whisper in his ear, Sesshomaru tried to fight the hold she had on him, but not a muscle twitched, his body no longer his own. He could only crouch there as she seared his flesh.

“You made me care for you, and that I cannot forgive. Ever.” Kagome’s voice was calm as she whispered to him, before a blast so powerful shot out of her hands and nailed him right in the chest, sending him flying backwards at such speeds he went through the wall and into a smaller room.

Debris fell around him, dust choking him as he landed hard on his back, sliding across the floor. Before he came to a stop, he back flipped, regaining his feet as his body was his to command once again.

She came for him through the rubble so fast she was nothing but a blur. But he was still faster. Twisting his body, Sesshomaru did a roundabout kick, his heel catching Kagome in the face, and sent _her_ flying to the side. When she hit the floor, he was on her, his sword drawn, but when he lifted the demonic blade over her prone form, he could not finish the strike.

No, his body was not frozen in place as it had been just moments ago. Staring down at Kagome as she got to her hands and knees, coughing up blood, he found that he could not kill her. Sesshomaru gritted his teeth and commanded himself to end her now. Kagome was far from saving. If he didn’t strike her down, she could only continue to attack him in her efforts to kill _him_. However, when she turned and lifted her head to look up at him, he didn’t see the black eyes, only Kagome, the woman he knew her to be. When he saw the blood spilling down her chin from the split lip he’d given her, he wished he had not hit her. Regardless, he tried to swing his sword, but he could not force his arm down and end her.

To save his life, he knew he had to kill her—now. Still, he hesitated.

_Why?_

Kagome opened her mouth. To speak? No. With a banshee like scream that shattered the windows, a great force slammed into his chest, sending him through the air again. A few ribs cracked but didn’t break under the force of her blow.

Male laughter echoed around them as both Kagome and Sesshomaru got back to their feet. From behind Kagome, Tatsuo appeared. He pulled Kagome against his chest by wrapping an arm around her, grasping her chin as he held her close. She didn’t fight him, merely glared hatefully at Sesshomaru.

“Isn’t she a magnificent creature, Sesshomaru? I can see now why you keep her around.” Chuckling again, he leaned down and licked the blood from Kagome’s chin and bottom lip, before ice blue eyes returned to meet Sesshomaru’s gaze. “But it’s more than possessiveness on your part, isn’t it? You care for her.”

Tatsuo stood back to his full height and moved his hand to grasp Kagome’s far shoulder, laying his arm across her breasts. “Onigumo claims you love her. Is that true?”

Sesshomaru sneered at that. “He is a fool, as are you if you believe such rubbish.”

“Is that so?” Tatsuo asked, unconvinced. “Why then did you not kill our dear miko when you had the chance? Why hesitate if not out of love for her?”

Sesshomaru was asking himself the same question. Why had he hesitated? Was it because Kagome was rare amongst her kind, a pure soul? Staring at Kagome, he knew that was no longer the case. The gem he’d once thought her to be was rusted and broken, beyond salvageable. A worthless stone now, and yet it didn’t change anything. He still could not kill her.

Why?

He did not love her. But if she was no longer a means to an end or a priceless jewel to keep as his own, then why did he hesitate? What was she to him? Did he…care for her in some small way that prevented him from ending her life?

Onigumo claimed his jealous attempt at having him murdered was because he loved the girl. Sesshomaru had been aware of the slight change in his thoughts and feelings towards the girl, but if they were so obvious that Onigumo had been able to detect them then he felt more than mild affection for her.

Sesshomaru blinked. Affection?

The answer came to him, as if it had been locked away inside his mind, only to be revealed when he just opened the door. Kagome had cared for him, accepted him as he was, even after all the cruel things he had done to her, after everything he’d made her do. She hadn’t seen a monster when she looked at him, but a man. Some part of him must have realized that, prompting his feelings to gradually change.

And he’d realized that they were changing. Consequently, he’d rationalized them into a concept he was able to accept—that his feelings derived from desiring to possess a creature of the light. Kagome had been right. He _was_ a liar. He’d been lying to himself.

 _I am truly pitiful,_ he inwardly mocked himself.

New resolve tightened his muscles as he tensed, preparing for battle. Perhaps if he killed Tatsuo, the magic coursing through her veins would dissolve, returning Kagome to her original self. As if sensing his change in demeanor, Tatsuo kissed the top of Kagome’s head and released her without a word.

As if it were a silent signal, Kagome rushed him, floating through the air, flying straight at him, her hair and clothes rustling wildly behind her.

Even as he danced around her, his sword still drawn, Sesshomaru wondered how he was to attack Tatsuo with the miko trying to kill him. While her back was turned after dodging another attack, Sesshomaru turned towards Tatsuo, lifting his blade, intending to send a powerful blast his way, but the other Inugami was gone.

However, he remained close, watching. Sesshomaru could sense his presence.

An arrow pierced his back. He’d heard the projection flying towards him but hadn’t been fast enough to fully dodge it. Instead of going through his heart, it jutted out of his shoulder. Even as he turned to face Kagome, the magic infused in her arrow zapped him with powerful bursts of electricity.

Kagome was standing several feet before him, the bow he’d given her that very day armed with another arrow and aimed at his heart. Where had she..? Tatsuo wasn’t far behind her, and when he caught Sesshomaru’s stare, he grinned. He’d given Kagome the bow and quiver of arrows.

Twisting his whole body, Sesshomaru dodged another projection, feeling the air shift as it missed his face by inches. Even as he finished his turn, dancing in a circle to once again face Kagome, he threw his sword, embedding it into the wall near him. His hand free, he grabbed the arrowhead protruding from his shoulder and yanked the shaft out. The pain of removing the arrow was fierce, but as it lay forgotten on the ground where he dropped it, the energy infused within it no longer savaged his flesh.

Even as she fired off another arrow, Sesshomaru swiped his arm, breaking it into splinters with the green whip that flashed out of his claws.

He noticed that Tatsuo had again vanished from sight but knew he wasn’t far.

“Why won’t you just die?!” cried Kagome.

If it had been her intent to toy with him, to drag out his pain from her attacks, she was obviously fed up with such tactics, wanting to kill him now. She’d only been playing with him before. Now that had come to an end.

She was crying.

Sesshomaru hesitated at the sight of the tears spilling from her black eyes. Why was she—?

Pain flared as a blow came from behind forcing him to take a step forward to remain on his feet. Gazing down uncomprehendingly, Sesshomaru saw a blade sticking out of his chest, glistening red with his blood.

“That was foolish of you to dismiss my presence, Sesshomaru,” Tatsuo murmured behind him, before yanking his sword out of his chest.

Even as Sesshomaru fell to his knees, he glanced up to meet Kagome’s wide eyed stare. There was such sadness and pain etched in her expression, wiping away the malice that had been there before as she stared at him. 

 _Don’t look at me like that,_ he silently told her.

“Die, Sesshomaru,” Tatsuo said from behind him, and Sesshomaru knew the next blow would kill him.


	25. To Live or Die

She was falling, falling, into darkness. A black void that swallowed her whole, stealing her senses, threatening to crush her beneath its weight. Her eyes were sightless, blind to everything around her. No sound penetrated her ears. The silence was deafening. When she opened her mouth, she didn’t know if she even gave voice to the words she screamed into the void. Was she mute or deaf to her own voice?

She was choking. The darkness surrounding her pressed in on all sides, yet her flesh felt nothing, no pressure or weight. However, it shrouded her eyes, clogged her ears, and filled her mouth like a gag. She couldn’t _breathe_. Where was she? Was she suffocating? Dying?

Then she felt it. Power. Someone was here with her on the shadows.  

Kagome reached out and grabbed onto it desperately, hand outstretched towards the source of that strength, fearful of being alone. Once she’d grabbed onto the clawed hand reaching for her in the dark, she was lost. As if just by that touch, her willingness to grab onto whoever shared the void with her, the darkness crowded closer, seeping into her pores, flowed through her veins and swirled inside her mind. 

It whispered to her insidiously about promises of retribution. Vengeance.

 _He hurt you,_ the dark whispered to her though she did not hear a corporal voice. _Lied to you. He took everything from you. Kill him. Kill Sesshomaru!_

Bitterness, anger, hatred, and resentment flooded into her heart. Darkness invaded her soul as her heart responded to those negative feelings, blackening it to match the pitch void she was trapped in.

Her eyes cleared, sound flooded back into her ears, and her tongue gave voice to the one thought on her mind.

“Vengeance.”

Her promised retribution had come. He was here, and she would make him pay for all the pain and suffering she held within her heart. She attacked Sesshomaru with eyes mirroring her hatred, tongue spewing all the resentment she felt and flinging it at him like the accusations they were. All true.

Sesshomaru didn’t defend himself against her verbal onslaught, denied nothing, just stared at her even as he dodged her attacks. At least he didn’t offer up anymore lies. She would have cut out his tongue had he made the attempt before feeding it to him. Maybe then he’d see how his falsehoods tasted like ash upon her tongue by having a bite of it himself.

Finally, he struck her. She caught the blow in the face and went down hard. No time to get up. He was going to kill her. Kagome could feel his approach, knew he stood above her. Long seconds passed with nothing happening. Confused, she turned to him. Sesshomaru had drawn his sword, had lifted it high above his head to pierce her flesh with one downwards swing, but the blow never came.

There was an expression on his face. Confusion?

Not knowing why he hesitated, Kagome struck him before he could complete his attack, but even as he went flying back, her heart panged once, out of sync to the controlled rhythm. As she watched him fall, one thought rang like a bell in her mind.

_This was wrong._

When she regained her feet, Tatsuo embraced her from behind. Kagome ignored him, never once taking her gaze off the object of her hatred. The darkness within her came flooding back, easily extinguishing her stray thought that something was not right.

At least until Tatsuo’s words whispered along her senses.

“—it’s more than possessiveness on your part, isn’t it? You care for her.”

Her heart beat strangely again, and the fog shrouding her mind shifted, making her aware of its presence.

“Onigumo claims you love her. Is that true?”

Kagome couldn’t breathe, the air in her lungs getting trapped as she waited, as if on a precipice, waiting for Sesshomaru’s answer. For some reason, it was vital to her. She _needed_ to hear his answer. Was hoping he’d say ye—

“He is a fool, as are you if you believe such rubbish.”

Sesshomaru’s obvious contempt washed away the light that tried to save her from the darkness that consumed her. She hated him. _Despised_ him. With his callous words, he’d savaged her heart all over again and made her want to stab his, to make _him_ feel her pain.

“Is that so? Why then did you not kill our dear miko when you had the chance? Why hesitate if not out of love for her?”

Kagome barely heard Tatsuo’s questions, hardly caring about this useless prattle when all she wanted to do was kill the man who’d so wronged her, the one who’d made her care despite everything he’d put her through. He would pay. She’d make him—

Why wasn’t he answering? The shroud slithering around her mind shifted agitatedly by her observation. In her unguarded state, a small window parted, allowing Sesshomaru’s thoughts to be filtered inside. Though they did not have a contract as he’d claimed, they were still connected. A small amount, perhaps, but blood _had_ been exchanged, which allowed them to converse to each other telepathically. However, somehow she knew he wasn’t attempting to speak to her. And yet she somehow had an image of his thoughts. It was her, smiling at him.

Sesshomaru was thinking about her.

The darkness writhed and screeched at her, shouting at her to exact vengeance upon Sesshomaru. And before she could stop herself, she charged him again, even struck him with an arrow. Notching another, the darkness within her soul was still too powerful for her to overcome, to see past the black that veiled her senses. She fired and would have again until she saw the blood.

Sesshomaru was bleeding, her arrow yanked out of his flesh only to be dropped upon the ground. Now _she_ was the one to hesitate in killing _him_. Blood stained his haori where she’d struck him so close to his heart. She had almost killed him. The thought made her recoil, her eyes wanting to shed away from the proof of her actions.

But hadn’t that been her aim? Didn’t she desire his death, to be the one to end his lies once and for all?

“Why don’t you just die?!” she screeched at him.

_No. This isn’t me._

She notched another arrow, and everything in her screamed at the wrongness of her actions as she aimed for Sesshomaru again. Vengeance? She didn’t believe in such a bloodthirsty concept. She’d learned firsthand after Sesshomaru had killed her enemies before her eyes that their deaths had not made her feel better. The emptiness inside of her had not been filled. She’d only mourned for the uselessness that was murder. The weight of their lives had only added to her sorrow, so what was she doing now? Trying to kill Sesshomaru just because he’d lied to her?

She’d even blamed him for making her care for him when it hadn’t been his fault at all. It had been hers. And like a scorned woman, she blamed him, not herself.

Out of nowhere, Sesshomaru’s words rang in her ears, an accusation he’d flung at her, and back then he’d been right.

_“This is why I despise humans. Pitiful creatures who do nothing but complain and feel discontent with their lives, accusing others for their misfortune and doing nothing to improve their lives.”_

As if he had spoken the words aloud now, Kagome’s heart began to thud painfully in her chest, for this rang true even now at this later date.  

The darkness within her tried to force her to release her arrow, but she held onto it tenaciously. Her fingers twitched uncontrollably. The battle within her mind seemed to take hours when in actuality it was mere seconds. Even so, she felt tears fall down her cheeks as she struggled to keep her fingers locked around her arrow.

This wasn’t right.

The blood on Sesshomaru’s clothes put her vile thoughts into perspective, made her aware that these were not her thoughts. There was corruption inside her not wholly her own, and the taint felt like a demonic aura—Tatsuo.

Just then, Sesshomaru lurched forward a step as a sword protruded from his chest just below his heart. More blood. It spread in a widening circle, wetting his white clothes, making the red stain all the brighter. Then he was falling, landing heavily on his knees. Instead of turning to defend himself when Tatsuo lifted his sword, intending to cut Sesshomaru’s head from his shoulders, amber eyes stared back at her with regret and another strong emotion that had her heart pounding.

Awareness leaked inside her mind, a flash of light sparked within her soul, dispelling the shadows lurking there.

Even as her reiki came rushing out, flooding through her heart and body from her newly cleansed soul, the darkness that took over her vision receded. Just as the last shred of Tatsuo’s spell dissolved under her purification powers, her powers infused her arrow. Kagome took aim and released just as Tatsuo swung his sword towards Sesshomaru’s neck.

To save the man she was coming to love, Kagome fired with the intent to kill.

Her arrow struck true, imbedding deep into Tatsuo’s forehead. A thin trail of blood slid down his flesh, between his eyes, only to hang for a moment on the bridge of his nose. Tatsuo’s ice blue eyes were wide and staring at her in open surprise, before he dropped his sword where it clanged on the floor. Tatsuo fell backwards, landing heavily, unmoving.

Without checking to see if he were dead, Kagome dropped her bow, allowing her quiver of arrows to fall off her shoulder with a clatter, and ran for Sesshomaru. He was bent over, his head hanging, pressing a hand to the grievous wound on his chest. Blood flowed swiftly over the back of his hand as she fell to her knees before him.

“Sesshomaru?! I’m so sorry,” she wailed, distressed by all the blood.

Right now, she no longer cared that he’d lied to her. Sesshomaru was _wounded_ , possibly _dying_ right before her eyes! And it was all her fault.

As if he’d heard her thoughts, Sesshomaru coughed up blood before whispering, “It’s not your fault. You are not the one to give me this wound.”

“You’re not going to…die, are you?”

He lifted his gaze to hers finally only to grin mockingly at her.

“Worried, are you? Weren’t you after my blood just seconds ago, Kagome?”

She slapped him.

Sesshomaru’s head cracked to the side, but when he turned back to her a moment later, he didn’t flinch or make a sound, merely stared back at her.

“Now is not the time to ridicule me.”

“So you decided to slap me?”

She snorted. “That was for lying to me,” she muttered before turning serious. “You didn’t answer me.”

“No,” he said, his voice turning more labored by the minute. “He missed my heart. I’ll live.”

 _Thank God,_ she thought, but her relief was short lived. Sesshomaru was bleeding more than a little. If he said he wouldn’t die from his injury or blood loss, then she believed him. Otherwise… No, she didn’t want to think about it.

“Get my sword for me, will you?”

Kagome hesitated for only a second before getting up and running for the blade still imbedded in the wall. Grabbing the hilt with both hands, she yanked. It didn’t budge, so she pulled harder. Finally, she had to put her foot against the wall and put her back into her jerky movements to get the sword out—

With a small cry, Kagome fell painfully on her rump with Sesshomaru’s sword in her hands.

“Ow,” she whispered.

A wracking cough from Sesshomaru, the sound wet and awful, had Kagome on her feet and scurrying back to him. She awkwardly sheathed his blade for him next to the other he wore.

When he struggled to his feet after that was done, Kagome scurried to his side, and put her shoulder under his arm, helping him. He let her, and the fact that Sesshomaru wasn’t pushing her away and actually leaning on her for support—heavily, she might add—spoke volumes at how injured he was. Though she hadn’t been the one to give him the injury, she still blamed herself. None of this would have happened if she hadn’t been foolish enough to succumb to Tatsuo’s spell that had corrupted her.

Though his vile taint was gone and she was back to normal, that didn’t erase what she had done. She’d attacked Sesshomaru, too, hurt him, had intended to kill him herself, and all because she’d resented him so much that it had given Tatsuo an opening to blacken her soul.

She wasn’t naïve. Kagome knew what had happened. Tatsuo had fed off her resentment and bitterness, magnifying her feelings to the extent that she’d sought revenge.

As they took their first stumbling step forward, Kagome’s eyes fell on the fallen demon, his eyes glazed over, staring sightlessly up at the ceiling. She stifled a shudder. He looked too much like a human, lying there, dead—because of her.

“Is he..?”

“Yes, he’s dead,” Sesshomaru panted, stumbling forward with her help.

 _He’s heavy,_ she thought, but didn’t complain.

Then she remembered.

“Onigumo! He’s here… Somewhere.”

“Leave him. I’ll hunt him down later.”

“Oh, no you will not!”

Sesshomaru chuckled, before the sound was cut off by more blood spilling from his lips.

“Sesshomaru?” she whispered, genuinely worried.

“We…are leaving,” he wheezed.

However, his knees gave out on him not a second later, and he was too heavy for her to keep him on his feet alone. Kagome shouted his name even as they landed heavily on their knees, making her grit her teeth at the pain of her landing.

Sesshomaru cursed heatedly. Ignoring her pain, Kagome put a hand on his chest only to have her palm coated with his blood. Just then, a cloud formed beneath their knees, and Sesshomaru lifted them off the ground with his youki cloud.

“Hold on…to me,” he rasped.

 _Always,_ she thought, projecting it to him.

He heard, for Sesshomaru turned to gaze at her from the corner of his eye. The arm he had slung over her shoulders tightened, drawing her closer to his side. Kagome had to look away, though she didn’t pull back; she was so confused. She was angry at him, so very angry, and though she’d thought she’d never be able to forgive him, she found that she still cared. Sesshomaru was gravely hurt, though he’d reassured her that he wouldn’t die. Right now, making sure that he would really be alright was what mattered most.

“Are you sure you can get us out of here?” she whispered to him.

“Of course, aij—”

“Kagome’s not going anywhere with you, bastard!”

They both turned to see Onigumo who was glaring hatefully at Sesshomaru, but what caused Kagome to stiffen was the fact that he’d picked up her discarded weapons and had an arrow notched, aiming at Sesshomaru.

“No!”

Reacting reflexively, Kagome shoved against Sesshomaru, making him tumble off his youki cloud. As he landed flat on his back with a pain filled grunt, the cloud dissolved, depositing Kagome atop him, probably hurting him further with her weight upon his chest. The arrow narrowly missed embedding itself in her flesh, but as it whizzed past as she fell, the arrow head grazed her back in a long line, drawing blood. The cut stung, but it was nothing compared to the agony Sesshomaru had to be in.

“Sesshomaru?! Are you alright?” Kagome asked worriedly, moving to her hands and knees above him to remove her weight from his heaving chest as he breathed heavily.

“You would protect this beast?” Onigumo interrupted, both angry and incredulous at her actions.

“Onigumo, you have to stop!” Kagome shouted at him, curling around Sesshomaru protectively.

She placed her forearms on the floor on either side of Sesshomaru’s head, curling them under his head and pressed his face against her chest protectively. She covered as much of his large body as she could with her own, not wanting the arrow Onigumo notched next to hit Sesshomaru. He was already losing too much blood. He might not survive another wound along with the others. Sesshomaru might actually _die_.

For some unfathomable reason, Kagome did not want that to happen. Almost ruefully, she thought to herself, _I must really love this hateful jerk._ _I’m still pissed at him for lying to me, though._

Sesshomaru didn’t deserve her love, and another part of her hated him, but that didn’t stop her from trying to protect him.

“So, he’s already gotten to you, little bird?” murmured Onigumo, his baleful glare moving to her.

What she saw in his eyes caused a shiver of fear to run down her spine.

“You’ve already succumbed to him, haven’t you?” he guessed, and when she didn’t deny it, he chuckled self-mockingly at himself, before aiming his arrow at her. “And to think I was actually falling for you, a demon’s whore.”

“Onigumo, you don’t have to do this,” she said desperately.

“Oh, I think I do. Good bye, little bird.”

Before she could think of anything to say to dissuade him, he released the arrow, letting it fly straight for her face. However, it never struck—her at least. Suddenly, in a move so fast that left Kagome breathless, Sesshomaru put a hand on her side and shoved, rolling on top of her.

He took the projection between his shoulder blades, gritting his teeth as it scrapped the edge of his vertebrae, and whipped his free arm to the side, the one closest to Onigumo. His acid whip emerged from his claws, severing the human filth’s head clean off his shoulders in a wide spray of blood.

Too weak to support himself on one arm, he fell atop Kagome, breathing heavily, but a small grin plastered itself firmly on his lips. He’d saved her.

Kagome grunted beneath him, his weight pinning her to the floor, his blood flowing between their bodies, the sticky fluid staining her clothes crimson.

Darkness ate at his vision, and his head was too heavy to hold up, so he sank fully on top of her. He wasn’t meaning to crush her beneath him, but all at once, his strength deserted him. The onna grunted as she heaved against his shoulder, trying to push him off her. Gritting his teeth as the wounds on his chest flared agonizingly, Sesshomaru used what strength he could muster and flopped onto his side next to her—hard.

He couldn’t suppress the groan that rumbled out of his chest as the jostling aggravated his wounds further. Then he cursed foully.

“Sesshomaru?! Sesshomaru, are you alright?”

Opening his heavy lids, he saw her hovering over him, felt her place a hand on his uninjured shoulder. Damn, he just had to roll over onto his injured side, the pain where he’d ripped Kagome’s arrow out of his shoulder a blaze of white hot pain. It had been a long time since he’d been so grievously wounded, he’d forgotten how weak it left him, how painful it was.

“Perfectly…fine…” he panted, her face going in and out of focus as his vision wavered, darkness eating at the edges of his sight.

Kagome gave a disbelieving sound, but her tone was gentle when she spoke to him.

“Why did you save me?”

“Why…does a man…do anything…foolish…when concerning the woman…he…has come to…like..?”

She was crying, he could smell the salt of her tears. Kagome was always crying, he thought not unkindly this time.

“Please, don’t die, Sesshomaru,” she said on a sob, before lying on her side beside him, moving close to his chest. Her hands gripped his bloody haori, her forehead pressed against his collar bone, and Sesshomaru painstakingly curled his arm around her in a loose embrace.  

He no longer had the strength to speak, so he whispered in her mind.

_I couldn’t kill you._

She stilled against him, listening.

Sesshomaru wasn’t sure why he was revealing these things to her. He’d probably regret his words later—if he lived.

_Even though I knew I probably couldn’t change you back to the way you were before, when I feared that you were lost, I couldn’t end you. Not even to save my life._

She sniffed, the sound nasally from her tears. He’d witnessed so many tears over his long life, had seen hers on many occasions, and yet this was the first time they moved him, twisting his heart strangely. Or was that because his heart labored to beat from all the blood he’d lost? He wasn’t sure.

_Don’t…cry anymore…_

And then his world went black.


	26. Everything's Changed Part I

Kagome knelt beside Sesshomaru, worried.

After he’d fainted, which had been hours ago, she had been unable to wake him. Perhaps that was a good thing. She had been doubtful that he would have been able to get them very far when Sesshomaru had tried to take them away from the manor before Onigumo had stopped them. Now, hours later, she was actually glad that they had remained. Although she was sad about Onigumo’s death, Kagome could not—refused—to blame the Inugami for killing the bandit, not after Onigumo had tried to kill them first.

She hated all the senseless deaths and bloodshed, but she’d come to learn that sometimes it was a necessary evil when one was forced to defend oneself and others. In her naivety, once upon a time Kagome had never condoned the murdering of another human being for any reason. However, on the other hand she’d been raised on the belief that it was a priestess’ duty to eradicate evil spirits and demons terrorizing and killing humans.

That was why she’d been so horrified and uneasy when Sesshomaru had first told her that he would kill the bandits for taking everything from her. She was no man’s judge and executioner, but she was a miko, and that meant that she was a demon’s executioner.

Now she realized that she’d been close-minded and foolish. No, she still knew that Sesshomaru had been wrong to slaughter the bandits who had destroyed her village, but after Onigumo’s death, she remembered the first time that she’d met Sesshomaru. He’d killed for her then, too. He’d defended her, protected her. Kagome hadn’t condemned him then because she’d realized that. She also understood that he’d killed Onigumo for the very same reason. He’d even taken the arrow meant to kill her in his back.

No, it wasn’t right for a man—or woman—to kill another, but when you were defending yourself or protecting another, then it wasn’t murder. On some level of her subconscious, she’d always understood that but had never been consciously aware of the concept before. Killing humans was wrong, and that’s all she’d ever really thought about the subject.

And those bandits Sesshomaru had slaughtered, Onigumo’s men… They had been marching upon another village right before Sesshomaru had stepped in their path. Sesshomaru’s aim had not been honorable. He’d only wanted to spill blood to show her what revenge felt like, looked like. His lesson had failed. She hadn’t been alright with it. And she’d been too busy judging Sesshomaru, too consumed with horror, that she’d been blind.

Sesshomaru had saved that village. Just like when she’d been attacked at the Inu no Kami’s shrine, Sesshomaru had protected the village from death and destruction.

While her mind whirled with self-realizations, Kagome had quickly and efficiently removed the arrow from Sesshomaru’s back. She’d been fearful of hurting him further, but he never woke. She needed to stop the bleeding. Already there was a pool of blood growing in an ever widening circle beneath him. She needed medicine or herbs to make it. How did one go about treating a demon’s wounds?

She’d decided to treat him like she would a human. Surely it was close to the same thing?

Sesshomaru was dead weight as she struggled to remove both of his haori. In the end, she’d had to use one of her arrow heads to cut the fabric away from his body. She’d gasped, horrified anew when his wounds were revealed to her. The one on his chest worried her the most. He was breathing strangely, so leaning down, Kagome put her ear close to his chest, and heard his lungs raddling. Blood was filling his lungs, possibly slowly drowning him at that very minute. Worse, at least one might be punctured and deflated.

A life threatening wound for a human. She just hoped his demonic healing was swift and repaired the damage. He’d said he wouldn’t die from this, right? She hadn’t heard him wrong, had she?

After that, Kagome had forcefully compartmentalized her feelings in the back of her mind and focused on stopping the bleeding. She removed her outer haori and used the arrow head to cut our a few squares and long strips. Sesshomaru was heavy, so placing the padded squares over all his wounds front and back and winding the stripes around his chest was an arduous task. In the end, she’d propped his upper body against her own and clumsily put the squares in place and bandaged him. No simple task. His weight had almost toppled her over twice, and once she’d almost dropped him.

When she was finished, blood was already soaking through the bandages in many places, and she was covered in the crimson substances, even her hakama when it had soaked up the cooling fluid in the pool she knelt in.

She needed supplies, medicine, rags, and water—a lot of it. She hadn’t wanted to leave Sesshomaru’s side for even a second, but after laboriously rolling him onto his side in hopes that whatever blood was in his throat would spill out of his mouth and not drown him and maybe he would breathe easier without the weight of his body pressing down on his lungs, she left the room.

Ignoring the two dead bodies, Kagome had searched the manor. Though it looked to be abandoned, it didn’t seem to be ransacked, so when she finally stumbled upon the kitchen, she found herbs she could use to make ointment with and in case Sesshomaru had a fever or infection. She even found a bucket. A basket was filled with supplies, and Kagome went back for Sesshomaru. Following his aura, though it was pretty weak right now, she returned without too much trouble.

What felt like hours later, Kagome had ground the various herbs into an ointment or powder, went outside to collect the rain water in the bucket she’d found, washed the blood from Sesshomaru’s body, his wounds, and rewrapped his chest and shoulder with what was left of her shredded haori.

She was weary, but there were still things to do. She’d found the futon she’d woken up on earlier and moved everything to Sesshomaru before painstakingly moving him on the bed and covering him with the large kimono. Next, Kagome had removed Tatsuo’s three haori to be used as bandages and cooling rags later, grimacing the whole time. Afterwards, she’d tried to drag the dead bodies out of the room…and failed. They were too heavy, so with a weary sigh, she was forced to let them remain in the room to grow colder and stiff while she looked after Sesshomaru.

While Sesshomaru rested, Kagome cleaned up the blood coating her flesh but since the rain had finally stopped, she was unable to wash her blood crusted clothes, wanting to save her last bucked of water for Sesshomaru. There was also a half full pitcher of water with an empty cup beside it. Every so often, she’d force water down his throat as well as the powder she’d made to fight off the fever that raged through his body.

His face was flushed though his body trembled as if he were cold, and he was sweating profusely. Kagome had already been forced to locate another blanket for him since the first one had been damp from his sweat. Hoping to cool him off, Kagome lowered his blanket, exposing his chest to the cool air. His shivering increased, worrying her, but she had to do something. At least his injuries weren’t festering, no infection seeped out of his wounds whenever she would check, just to be sure. Next, Kagome dipped her rag into the bucket of water, wrung it out, and dabbed at his forehead.

Surprisingly, his eyes cracked open.

Gasping softly, she removed the rag and bent closer to him. Lifting a hand to his cheek, she stroked his heated flesh tenderly, meeting his feverish amber gaze.

“Sesshomaru? How are you feeling?” she asked in a low, worried voice.

_You’re alive..?_

Kagome frowned. “Of course I am. Why would you think..?”

He closed his eyes and turned his cheek into her hand, nuzzled her palm.

_I saw you die…many times. Were they dreams? Or…is this a dream?_

Kagome stopped breathing for a second at his admission. He’d been dreaming of her? Gazing into his eyes when he opened them to regard her again questioningly, she knew that he was delirious with fever.

Tenderness made her worry relax somewhat. She stroked his cheek again. He seemed to like that.

“This is no dream. You saved me,” she told him softly.

His chest rose and fell heavily on a sigh—of relief?

_I thought I had failed you, over and over again._

“Why is it so important to you that I live?”

 _Can’t bear the thought of you dying,_ was his only answer, but Kagome had to know more, to understand. She still couldn’t understand why he hadn’t killed her when he’d thought she was past saving when Tatsuo had placed his magic on her, amplifying her negative feelings, or why he’d taken the blow that would have killed her, possibly dying in her stead.

His actions were contrary to everything she thought she knew about him. Sesshomaru was a self-serving demon bent on corrupting her, or so she’d thought. He cared nothing for human life, and yet he hadn’t taken hers, had in fact preserved it. He was selfish, but he’d been willing to sacrifice his life for her.

Why?

It was probably wrong of her to take advantage of his sick state, but she doubted he’d be truthful any other time. So with no little guilt, she questioned him gently, while soothing his heated flesh with the rag.

“Because you still wish to change me, to corrupt me?”

He shook his head wearily. _I stopped wanting that a while back._

Her heart pounded at his admission.

“Then why did you remain by my side if you no longer wanted it so?”

_You are special. A gem. My gem, and I wanted to keep you for myself._

She had no idea what he meant by that, but hearing that Sesshomaru had stopped trying to corrupt her because he thought her special eased her resentment even further. But it wasn’t enough. It sounded more like possessiveness than a confession of affection.

Before questioning him further, she put her arm beneath his head and gently lifted him so he could take a few sips of water. Afterwards, she went back to wiping the rag over his upper body exposed by his bandages. Luckily, he’d finally stopped bleeding, but he was far from healed, she knew. Still, he hadn’t died and seemed to be on the mend despite the fever plaguing him. Thank goodness he wasn’t a mortal man, or he probably would have died long ago. 

“Is that why you couldn’t kill me?”

Sesshomaru’s eyes closed, and at first she thought he’d gone back to sleep, until she heard his voice whispering in her mind again.

_Yes. No. I’m not sure…_

She remembered what Tatsuo had said during the fight, that Onigumo had claimed…

“Do you…care for me?”

She’d been about to say ‘love’ but quickly changed her mind. She wasn’t sure she wanted to hear him deny it again with such contempt.

_I was so blind to my feelings for you._

 “What…are your feelings?” she asked, barely breathing, waiting for his answer.

_You cried a lot, too damn much actually, but I helped caused them._

What kind of answer was that? But she didn’t interrupt him when he continued speaking.

_Even after all the cruel things I had done and said to you, you would still look at me kindly and smile. After all of that, you still tried to see the good inside of me even though I didn’t think there was any to find._

He cracked his lids open again, amber meeting her rapt stare.

_You once told me that no one could love such a selfish being as me. But you seemed to accept me the way I am regardless._

When had she..? Oh, now she remembered. She’d flung those words at him after he’d killed all but Onigumo, when he’d tried to…

_Is this love, Kagome?_

Kagome frowned in confusion, not understanding. “What?”

_I think about you all the time. Though you’ve aggravated me to the point of madness on many occasions, I couldn’t get you off my mind. I was jealous of Onigumo, hated the thought of any male near you, and I want you to smile only at me. I want to hold you, not just to rut, but fall asleep with you in my arms and wake with you there, always._

“Sesshomaru…” she breathed his name, unable to form a coherent thought after his confession.

_I thought it was…obsession, but when Onigumo tried to kill you… No, my feelings go beyond that. They are hectic and confusing. …Is this love?_

Before she could swallow the emotions clogging her throat and answer, he’d closed his eyes again, his breathing becoming more relaxed, and she realized that he’d fallen asleep again. She brushed his sweat damp hair off his cheek. Would he remember this conversation when he was better? Or would he deny everything and claim it was the ravings of a feverish man? Had he spoken truthfully?

He’d never said anything so…kind to her before. Did he love her? After what he’d told her, it was…possible. Very possible, and realizing that made her heart flutter.

Had she been wrong about him? When she’d thought that he’d manipulated her feelings for him, she’d been filled with such anger, but if what he said was true, he’d also been ensnared—by her. She’d been so confused by her growing feelings towards Sesshomaru that she hadn’t stopped to think that he might be feeling the same and been just as confused. She’d never been in love before, but neither had he.

A small grin spread over her lips as she realized they were much like children fumbling around, trying to understand things that were new to them.

Hours ago, when she’d noticed that he’d stopped bleeding and probably—hopefully—lived, she’d been dead set on distancing herself from him, to find Kikyo on her own if she had to. Now?

She didn’t know.

Sesshomaru had still lied to her about many things, important things. Though he seemed to care deeply for her, he hadn’t said he was sorry.

Could she forgive him knowing that they had probably fallen in love with each other, no matter how reluctantly?

“Why can’t you be more open and honest when you’re not sick?” she asked on a sigh, knowing he was incapable of answering, oblivious to the world.

 

“Kagome.”

The woman jerked awake, having somehow fallen asleep in a kneeling position beside him, amusing Sesshomaru enough to crack a small grin. He’d just woken up to the stench of blood and corpses—most of the blood his own. Before he’d spoken, waking his living companion, memory of their battle returned. He knew not what day it was, how long they’d been there, but going by the smell of Tatsuo’s and Onigumo’s dead bodies, he judged it had been at least a few days…and he had no memory of them.

The last thing he recalled was saving Kagome from the arrow aimed for her head and taking Onigumo’s head off for trying to harm her. A life for a life.

Looking into her worried, brown eyes, he wondered if she blamed him for taking Onigumo’s life, hated him. If she didn’t hate him for killing the bandit, he had no doubt that she despised him for all the lies he’d told her.

Even as she asked him if he were alright, his heart sped up a few paces at the memory of her being angry at him most of all for making her care for him. Did she still harbor affection for him, or had all his lies replaced her feelings with hatred? If so, he could not see any anger in her eyes directed towards him. A good sign? Surely if she had ill feelings for him, she wouldn’t still be here, and going by the bandages around his chest, she’d done her best to aid in his recovery.

Until he remembered that she’d helped Onigumo as well, though she had no love for the bandit. The thought killed what little hope he had that she still cared for him, even a little. And it was all his fault. The knowledge of that tasted bitter on his parched tongue.

“Water, please,” he answered.

While she reached for the small cup beside her, he anchored his elbows behind him, and sat up, almost groaning at the soreness of his body. He was not completely healed, but given another day or two, he would be at full strength again.

“Should you be sitting up?” she asked him in a low voice, even as she offered him the cup.

He took it from her and drank deeply before answering.

At first his natural response would be anything but serious and truthful, more mockery of her concern, but Sesshomaru quickly bit his tongue before such caustic words could spill forth. For her, he tried to be a little more truthful, a little les condescending, to make up for all the lies he’d fed her in the past. Though, he wasn’t completely sure any manner of truth saying from him now would rectify his past lies. Still, he had to try…

“I am well enough to get off this floor. The tightness I feel should loosen after stretching my body.”

The scent of his sweat was strong, almost causing his nose to crinkle in distaste that he’d reek to such a degree. And the old blood was not helping either—his or the corpses so near.

“A hot bath would be better,” he said more to himself than to her. “You would do well with one, too. I seem to have bled all over you.”

“There’s a bath farther in the manor. I can show you…” she said hesitantly.

She was strangely quiet and aloof, which was very different from her animated personality he’d become used to. A bad sign?

Instead of answering right away, he turned his gaze to Kagome’s face as he set the cup aside. Leaning towards her, he experimentally reached for her, wondering if she’d deny his touch. But no. As soon as he cupped the side of her head in his left hand, she leaned towards him ever so slightly and closed her eyes, a small sigh easing the tension in her body. Her easy acceptance of his touch after her previous resentment during their battle tightened his chest, made him yearn for the liberties she allowed him before. To touch her, dragging her under him, possessing her body. He craved that physical closeness not because lust had him in its grasp, but because he wanted closer to her. To be inside her was as close as two beings could get, and he wanted nearer than even that.

However, he did not press for more contact. A part of him shed away from the thought that she might refuse his advance for closeness, believing he only wanted sex from her. That couldn’t be further from the truth, but how was he to tell her? He’d never felt this way before. He was having a hard time accepting them but found it impossible to voice his emotional need to experience that oneness with her.

And if he did tell her and she still denied him? Sesshomaru didn’t think he could live with the wound that rejection would cause him.

“Yes, show me,” he murmured, regretfully lowering his hand.

His eyes settled on the bruise near the corner of her mouth as they stood, remembering that he’d been the one to give it to her. It was an ugly black and blue and large, damn near covering one side of her jaw. He wanted to reach out and touch the mark, to apologize for giving it to her, but he did not. She’d attacked him, dammit. He’d only ben defending himself. That knowledge did not ease the guilt he felt. He was not accustomed to feeling any such thing, but he felt it now, and hated it, hated how weak she made him feel.

Regardless, he could not fully resent her for bringing these emotions out of him.

Walking stiffly beside her, Sesshomaru grimaced as he felt his blood crusted clothes scrape his flesh, chafing him, and he desperately wanted new clothes. Before they reached their destination, he halted her with a hand on her shoulder. Kagome turned to gaze at him inquisitively.

“We need new garments,” was all he said.

Though confusion pinched her face, she did not question him as he waved his arm, summoning his minion with just a thought. The little, green imp appeared a second later, unable to fight against his call once it had been made. Not that Jaken would attempt to fight his summons, the groveling toad.

“Sesshomaru-sama!” Jaken cried, elation splitting his lips into a smile, looking more grotesque than anything with that beak of his. And the small creature fell to his knees in a deep bow.

Kagome leaned against his shoulder, whispering, “I didn’t know you’re a lord.”

“I’m not, but I out rank him.”

Though that went without saying. The imp was weak, a very low class demon, but he had his uses. One of which he would not be mentioning to the miko, since he had commissioned Jaken to throw a boy into the river as a means of distraction as he sought to have Onigumo murdered that first time. She was already unhappy with him. No need to add to the flames.

“Jaken,” Sesshomaru intoned in a commanding voice, halting the imp’s groveling mid-sentence. “The miko and I require adequate clothing. Hakama and haori for the miko as well. No cumbersome kimono.”

Sesshomaru didn’t give Jaken time to reply, but waved his arm, depositing his minion into the market place in the spirit world. When their clothes were purchased, all Jaken had to do was call out his name, and Sesshomaru would bring him to them again.

Kagome began to lead him towards the promised bath once more without a word. Long minutes later with a heavy silence Sesshomaru found uncomfortable with all that was left unsaid between them, they arrived to a large room. The floor was marble tiles, the walls thick rock with a high ceiling, shelves lined one wall with folded towels and other cleaning supplies, and in the center of the room was two large baths, steam rising from the water. Obviously, there was a hot spring underneath the manor’s structure, feeding the pools, keeping them heated.

Sesshomaru could already feel his muscles beginning to unknot at the promise of soaking in hot water. But first, he had to walk behind the available screen and scrub the blood and sweat from his body. As he walked behind one of the two screens, he called over his shoulder before thinking over his words.

“There’s plenty of room if you wish to bathe as well, Kagome.”

Halting behind his screen, he stiffened at his unconscious words. While he thought nothing of sharing a bath together, and there were two pools if Kagome didn’t want to share one with him, he belatedly realized that the intimacies they’d once shared were probably long gone.

He waited for her denial and for her steps to leave the room to give him the privacy he did not crave, but instead, Kagome surprised him when he heard her approach him from behind. Ignoring her, trying to regain some measure of calm to the hectic emotions plaguing him ever since he woke, Sesshomaru used his claws and began shredding his blood spotted bandages he recognized as stripes of her outer haori.

His heart beat heavily the closer she got, but no, she did not round the screen but continued forward silently to one of the shelves. As Sesshomaru was forced to rip some of the fabric from his chest, the blood making it stick to his flesh where his wounds had once been, he listened intently for her. Water lapped. Had she gotten in a pool? He didn’t think so. He hadn’t heard her undress. Then she was walking towards him again. He thought she would walk by his screen again, but she surprised him and stood before him.

He stared at her, but she wasn’t looking at him. He watched while she put down the bucket of steaming water she’d gotten from the pool, a rag hanging from the lip, before staring up at him. Normally when she took in his bare chest, she’d blush but stare, her scent instantly heightening, becoming aroused. This time was notably different. Though her eyes roved over his exposed body, no flush spreading across her cheeks, her gaze didn’t dart away then back in embarrassed curiosity, there was no lust in her eyes, and most disconcerting was that her scent remained the same, unaroused.

Did Kagome no longer desire him? In the past, if he’d had any doubt about her feelings for him, he’d at least been reassured that she desired him. Now? Had her hate killed off her attraction for his body as well? The thought made his heart drop, and any lustful ideas he might have had at any other time with fantasies of washing each other, bathing together, and sharing a sexual interlude died a swift death.

Her lack of desire easily murdered any lustful stirrings in his body. Resentment rose, attempting to choke him. Sinister thoughts of forcing himself on the girl surfaced, attempting to cloud his judgment with a strong need to make Kagome remember how it felt between them when he touched her, when he was thrusting inside her. She’d responded to his touch every other time. This time would be no different. However, he did not go through with his dark thoughts. Even if he was able to force her body to respond to him, it was too much like rape for his liking.

Sesshomaru refused to take her. Never by force. He’d done many despicable things in the past—to her—but he was not going to add rape to his many sins. He was a bastard, but not a complete degenerate.

He opened his mouth to thank her for fetching the water for him and dismiss her briskly when her words had the sharp remark dying on his tongue. 

“I’m sorry, Sesshomaru.”

He blinked at her, not understanding why she was apologizing to him. It was only when she stepped up to him and placed her hand over the scar she’d given him on his left shoulder that comprehension dawned on him.

“The scars will disappear soon,” he told her softly, his tone coming out gentle, surprising him.

Instead of answering, her hand shifted across his blood spattered chest, ignoring how the dry mess coated her hand, her fingers tracing the thin line where Tatsuo’s sword had impaled him. She was sad. He could see it clearly on her face. Was she not angry then? Her compassionate heart must surely be drowning out any ill feelings she had to be harboring for him. A small respite. Once he was perfectly healed, the signs of his injuries fading into nothingness, would her kindness dry up as well? Would she leave him then?

Any tender feelings he felt at her show of compassion fled at the thought. She was obviously sorry and sad at the sight of his injuries, perhaps her heart softening to some degree that he’d saved her from that arrow, but her emotions changed constantly, and he feared she’d soon turn her back on him. Worse, scorn him.

But until then, Sesshomaru wanted to bask in her soft touch. It would undoubtedly be all over soon enough if he was unable to find a way to keep her by his side indefinitely.

“Do not blame yourself,” he told her softly.

“Tatsuo may have been the one to give this to you, but it’s also my fault. If I hadn’t succumbed to the darkness inside me, this would never have happened.” Her voice was equally soft. Neither of them seemingly wanted to talk louder than a whisper though they were alone. There was no one to hear them should they spoke louder, yet they did not.

What was he to say to reassure her that she was blameless in his eyes? Being blunt, perhaps.

Reaching up, he grasped the back of her hand and shifted her palm over the steady beat of his heart. When she looked up at him to meet his earnest gaze, he spoke. “I do not blame you. Not in the slightest. If you believe nothing else, at least believe that.” Then he lifted his other hand and brushed her hair tenderly. “You fought off the darkness inside you. That took courage and strength. You are always surprising me, Kagome, always proving me wrong.”

“I—I have?” she asked unsteadily.

Perhaps she could see the swirling emotions he could not voice in his eyes, was reacting to them. For her, he tried to speak of them, at least a little.

“I never agreed with many of your ideals, ridiculed your sentiments. I once thought you to be blind and naïve, but that is not the case. I was wrong. I am the one who was blind.”

“About what?” she asked, and he could tell she was holding her breath, waiting for his answer. He heard her heart speed up, and he realized his answer was important to her.

It was hard, so very hard to say these things, for it left him weak and vulnerable for a verbal attack that could savage the heart he did not know he had. Now he realized just how much damage his condescending words had had on her, and he felt regret. A first for him, and he did not like it, did not like any of these feelings she brought out of him. Life had been so much easier without them—and bleak. He’d never noticed before how empty his life had been until now, thinking only of himself. Now there was Kagome, and he wanted her in his life, forever—desperately.

Perhaps he deserved her ridicule, for her to throw his words back in his face and feel her pain. Regardless, he would probably bite her head off if she dared.

“Love.”

The word was wrenched out of him. There was more he wished to say but could not. It went against everything he’d once believed in, so admitting that he now believed in the sentiment was more than difficult.

Though he didn’t elaborate, Kagome seemed to understand. Her expression softened, and dare he say became affectionate?

“You said it was a foolish human notion mistaken for lust.”

“I was foolish to say so, and even more so to believe it.”

Sesshomaru was thankful that she’d understood him, that she’d given him an easy way to express his feelings without making him actually saying the words. They were heavily implied, and she heard the silent message. Instead of ridiculing him, she smiled up at him, one of those soft smiles he’d rarely been given and hadn’t appreciated until now.

The atmosphere around them seemed to lighten.

She gestured towards his hakama and boots. “Finish undressing. I’ll help you clean the blood off.”

She did not have to tell him twice. If she wanted to remain close to him, he was not about to tell her no. She took his swords when he removed them from his hip, and as she set them aside, he kicked off his bloody boots. As she turned back to him, he shamelessly untied the knot that held up his hakama, let gravity slide them down his thick thighs and muscular calves, and stepped out of it.

Her gaze darted away. At first he thought she was finally seeing him as a man again, but when she nudged the small, wooden stool closer, he thought otherwise, deflating. With a small, inward sigh, he sank gracefully onto the stool while Kagome took up bar and rag. She went out of view when she moved behind him. A few seconds later, his hair was picked up and gently settled over his shoulder before the soapy rag began moving along his upper back.

Though her touch was gentle, Kagome firmly and methodically scrubbed his back. The washing session was not as erotic as he’d wish, meaning it wasn’t arousing in the slightest. She used long strokes without lingering, her touch precise and not even trying to arouse his senses.

A heavy weight settled over him as his fear of having lost her forever once again came to mind...until he felt her lips on his back. After washing his flesh, she’d tipped the bucket over his back and used some of its contents to rinse the suds off. When that was done, that’s when he felt her lips on him.

The breath in his lungs froze there.

The wound she’d given him must have been scarred still as the ones on his chest, and she was kissing the mark. Then her lips moved between his shoulder blades, lightly kissing the scar tissue from Onigumo’s arrow.

“You were so brave,” she told him. “You saved my life again.” Then her fingerstips brushed down his vertebrae, nails scraping his flesh. Was she trying to arouse him? At the thought, his cock stirred for the first time since waking. “I haven’t thanked you yet this time.”

“I did not do it with the intention to be praised,” he said, swallowing thickly.

“Regardless, thank you,” she murmured in his ear, his blood heating at her proximity.

Her lips went to the scar that Tatsuo had given him. Then she stood and walked around him. It was the most natural thing in the world to spread his knees wider and let her step between them. His erection hardened further at her position, and when she knelt between his thighs, he thickened to a full blown erection, his shaft standing at attention between them.

Again she moved his hair to fall over his clean back. The gaze she leveled on him as she peeked up at him from under her lashes told him she knew what her closeness was doing to him, her scent telling him that she liked the sight of him thusly, reacted to him. Her arousal filtered to his nose, light but heady. He had to clench his hands around his knees to stop himself from grabbing her.

She’d offered to wash him, not slake either of their lust, and he would not touch her unless she asked him to. Restraining himself was not easy when he knew that Kagome desired him, especially when she began washing his shoulders and chest. However, her scrubbing was the same as when she’d washed his back, methodical and precise. He wanted to sigh in disappointment.

But like before, after washing his chest and arms, even his hands and between his clawed fingers, she rinsed the suds away and leaned in to kiss his scars. But this time was slightly different. Her tongue traced the thin line where Tatsuo’s blade had pierced him. His next exhalation was rough, his heart pounding, blood rushing in his ears as the sexual tension in him built. She had to be doing this on purpose. Was this some kind of punishment? To torture him with things he could not have?

The idea should have angered him. Instead, he derived a twisted sort of pleasure out of the idea that Kagome would seduce him yet deny him satisfaction in the end. He must have gone mad from lack of blood to his head when it all went rushing down south.

“You’re very beautiful, Sesshomaru,” she whispered to him. “With muscles so hard I want to sink my teeth in them.”

His heart damn near stopped at her erotic words. Oh, he was hard all right. His shaft pulsed. If he’d had any doubts that she was trying to arouse him, they were put to rest. She was and he didn’t know why. Her wantonness surprised him, for she’d never verbally teased him before. He liked it, more than liked it, actually.

Unable to help himself, though he’d told himself not to physically or verbally respond to her sexual assault on his senses, he spoke, his voice rough, heavily laced with lust.

“There’s a specific part of me that’s hard for you alone right now.”

Brown eyes sought his with a sultry look of feminine knowledge and something more. Without answering his comment, she stood and took a step back. He thought she meant to leave him then, but all she did was pick up her bucket, walk around the screen to refile it, and come right back. His long legs were washed next. His thighs twitched when the rag moved across them, his cock jerked towards her for similar attention, but she ignored his erection—though she couldn’t possibly miss it—and washed his calves and feet.

When she rinsed the suds off, he thought she’d stop then and there, but she did not. Kagome looked him straight in the eyes as she grabbed him, her hand wet, her hold tight as she wrapped her fingers around his shaft. A groan was wrenched out of him when she tightened her fist, border lining pain, yet only adding to his pleasure.

“This will have to wait,” she purred at him, stroking him slowly, making him sweat. “I have to wash your hair, first.”

Releasing him, she moved behind him once more, and Sesshomaru heaved a heavy breath. Did her words imply what he thought they did? His cock ached at the thought of being incased within her moist depths, a bead of precum weeping from the slit in a silent plea.

“Close your eyes,” she murmured in his ear, before dumping the hot water on his head, wetting his hair. Then her fingers were sifting through his long mane, soaping his hair, her nails scraping along his scalp. It took long minutes to wash. Kagome had to rinse his hair twice between washes to get all the blood out. And all the while his erection remained in eager anticipation, while Kagome’s scent remained aroused.

The waiting was torture, the not knowing if there was more to come even more so.

The rustling of clothing behind him got his attention, but then he wrote that off as Kagome probably picking up his discarded garments. Seconds later when he was about to stand, thinking she was finished washing with—arousing him more like—her hand fell on his shoulder, halting him.

“Now you can wash me.”

Had he heard right? Turning his head to look at the miko who stood at his side, her naked breasts were at eye level. Her pink nipples were already hard, but when he saw the dried, crusted blood painted on her flesh, his ardor cooled slightly, though his erection remained. His blood. Once upon a time, he’d wanted to fuck her when her body was covered with blood. Now? At the reality of it at this point in time when he’d come to love her, it did not arouse him in the slightest. In fact, it had the opposite effect, making him want to cleanse the brown stains away.

Instantly he was on his feet, and with a hand on her arm, he gently deposited her on the stool he’d just vacated. Unlike her, he started at her front, where she instantly spread her knees to allow him to kneel before her. Though it was harder than he’d thought it would be, his touch was as straight to the point as hers had been. His need to wash his blood off her person helped him control himself.

Though his touch was not meant to arouse, he did not hesitate to wash her breasts, swiping the rag around her generous swells, dipped between her cleavage and moved on to her flat stomach. It was impossible to miss how her breathing turned heavy or the tension in her body when he refused to linger. Knowing he could return the favor and torture her as she had done to him was satisfying, but he was sure not to show it.

He washed her arms next, then her legs, before soaping up his hand. Meeting her lust glazed eyes though they were soft from some unnamed emotion, he stared heatedly at her as he used his bare hand to wash her sex. Her core was scorching hot and weeping for him. The evidence of her need for him made his palm slick, but like her, he merely gave her a taste of his touch, and quickly redrew his hand. He rinsed the suds away and offered her a few, small kisses of his own, one on each puckered nipple, before withdrawing to her back.

Kagome trembled as he settled behind her and started scrubbing her back. Her hair was next and it didn’t take nearly as long to wash as his had been. Taking a deep breath and letting it out, Sesshomaru stood and moved to stand before her decisively, reaching out his hand for her to take. What he was silently asking of her was in his eyes, and she stared back at him for a moment, before standing and taking his hand, her answer clear.

 


	27. Everything's Changed Part II

_She’s accepting me._

Sesshomaru curled his fingers around the back of her small hand and led her around the screen and towards the hot pools. He helped her in first, one dainty foot sliding into the steaming water, and then the other. The water swirling just above her knees and around his calves when he stepped down beside her. Kagome instantly turned towards him, moving closer, and though her eagerness to share her body with him eased the pressure in his chest and made his shaft ache for her, he stopped her with his hands on her shoulders.

It was time he stopped being selfish. Where once Sesshomaru would have felt no compunction to use her body’s need for sexual gratification against her, that time had passed. Muscles protesting, he lowered himself until he sat with his back against the edge of the pool, water rising around his torso just above his abdomen, before easing her down with him. With gentle but firm hands, he encouraged Kagome to sit between his spread legs and pulled her back against his chest, nestling her close with arms crossed beneath her lush breasts.

She didn’t fight him, but as soon as they were settled, she glanced over her shoulder at him, confusion clear on her face, as well as self-doubt.

“Ah…Sesshomaru?” she murmured self-consciously.

“Hn?”

She fidgeted and looked away from him, facing forward. “Why aren’t you..? I mean, I don’t mind if you…”

There she was, his shy miko, he thought with a small grin. She had surprised him with her seductive performance while washing him, not knowing where she had learned the sex appeal from or why she was trying to tempt him now of all times; however, it seemed her innate shyness was finally catching up to her, amusing and arousing him all at the same time. His little, seductive innocent. Fondness for her swamped him, making him hold her just a little tighter, a little closer.

His erection was pressed along her lower back, and she wiggled her hips meaningfully, rubbing her slick flesh against his shaft. A groan spilled past his lips, unable to suppress the sound. Her dark head was at level with his collarbone, and Sesshomaru leaned down to rest his right cheek on top of it, tenderness flooding him.

Ignoring his raging erection, he focused solely on Kagome and her needs.

“Shhh,” he murmured, his eyes closing.

He sensed her agitation through her body, fidgeting against his own. Before she could speak again, he moved his arms and cupped her breasts, squeezing and fondling the round globes. Her murmur of pleasure reached his ears, her small hands settling on his thighs, clenching and unclenching.

Even as he plucked at her puckered nipples, pinching and rolling them between his fingers, he whispered in her ear. “Tell me if you want me to stop.”

He knew her answer before she moaned, “Don’t stop,” thrusting her breasts into his hands, arching her back away from his chest, seeking the pleasure he could give her.

Nuzzling her hair away from her ear with his nose, Sesshomaru nipped the shell of her ear, causing Kagome to jerk against him, a harsh gasp reaching his ears. Knowing just how sensitive she was, he lashed the outer edge with his tongue, before drawing the lobe into his mouth to suckle. Pinching and pulling on her nipples all the while, it didn’t take long for his ministrations to turn his sensitive miko into a writhing vixen who encouraged him with small cries and flexing muscles, twitching and trembling against him despite the hot water that surrounded them.

Every undulation of her hips stroked along his cock, her vertebrae rubbing against the sensitive head, easily stimulating him in her uncontrollable movements. Her honest reactions to his touch always inflamed him, her unadulterated enjoyment in the smallest thing he did made him want to torture her more, to build the sexual tension he felt thrumming through her quivering body.

Her thighs sawed together, legs shifting restlessly between his own.

“Move your legs over mine,” he murmured in her ear heatedly.

She tried to obey him, but when he continued to play with her nipples, Kagome didn’t seem to have the strength to perform such a small task, not when she continued to twitch and squirm against him. The best she could do was raise her knees above the water. Chuckling, Sesshomaru released her breasts to her disappointment, her moan of discontent echoing around them. He reached down, gliding his palms along her thighs then under them, and easily spread her legs wide after depositing them over his own.

Keeping her knees high, Sesshomaru bent his own, curling her into his body further, and slowly, teasingly, glided his fingers up her inner thighs, only to continue past her core. One hand splayed across her flat stomach while the other cupped her breast again.

“Please, Sesshomaru,” she begged, her hands gripping his wrists tightly.

“So eager.”

Taking pity on her, Sesshomaru shifted his hand from her stomach, cupping her. The heat of the water was nothing compared to the fire in her loins. Even though the water bathed her flesh, he could still feel the liquid heat that wept for him. At his first touch, her core pulsed and twitched, beckoning him to explore and delve deep.

“You’re wet for me,” he said approvingly, parting her folds, his fingers attacking her cleft with sure strokes that turned her wilder still.

Kagome tried to undulate her hips, to grind her sex into his circling fingers, but the position he had her in kept her in place, open for his assault, forcing her to take whatever he gave her. He pinched her nipple and stroked her clit, varying the pressure every few seconds, light one moment, harder the next, again and again, building the tension, giving just enough to shower her in pleasure, but not enough to tip her over the edge into blissful release.

Her cries became more frequent, more urgent, and when she tried to clench her thighs together, his knees prevented her.

“Sesshomaru…stop teasing me!” she cried.

She tried to make his fingers work faster between her thighs with a hand on his wrist, making him chuckle, the sound morphing into a groan when her lower back pushed against his erection, the water feeling like an intimate touch against the sensitive head.

Gnashing his teeth, denying himself, Sesshomaru buried his face against her wet hair and released her breast, adding his other hand between her thighs. His fingers continued to circle her clit while his other hand delved farther down, seeking, finding her opening and pressing. Her sheath easily took his digit, and he thrust a second then a third inside her, stretching her, pumping them in quick, shallow thrusts.  

“You’re so tight.” And she was, her inner walls clasping his pumping fingers, her slick heat coating the digits in liquid heat.

His cock ached to replace his lucky fingers as she greedily took them repeatedly inside her.

When her head began shaking from side to side, he lifted his head to stare down at her though he could not see her face, but he could see her quivering breasts, her nipples a darker shade of pink with blood tightening the buds to hard peaks, her tensing stomach, and his fingers working between her thighs. The sight aroused him almost to the point of pain. His heart thudded against his chest, his lungs working overtime as he panted for breath. For the life of him, he could not take his eyes away from his working fingers.

“Please! I-I need you inside me,” she begged.

Unable to stop the grin forming on his lips, Sesshomaru kissed her temple. “I am inside you,” he whispered wickedly, shoving his fingers inside her harder meaningfully.

Again she shook her head. “That’s not…what I meant.”

“Tell me what you need,” he replied, purposefully making her ask for it.

Kagome groaned pitifully as he continued to thrust his fingers in and out of her, while continuously rubbing her clit in maddening circles. Her back was stiff against his chest, sexual tension coiled within her, ready to burst at any second. She was close despite her heated plea for him to replace his fingers with his shaft. And he wanted to—desperately. But he did not. It was physically painful to deny himself.

“You know…” she whimpered, resting the back of her head on his shoulder, her lips parted as she panted, her chest heaving with every breath she took, just like his.

“Tell me,” he implored seductively, nuzzling her cheek with his own. “You know what it is. I taught you many names. Choose one.”

His voice and insistence fueled her desire, and Sesshomaru wondered if she’d come before speaking the word—

“I want your cock inside me,” she cried unexpectedly, loudly.

“Everything that I am belongs to you,” he said even though he did not give her what she begged for. Not this time.

 _Selfless. Don’t be selfish,_ he repeated to himself like a mantra, gritting his teeth to deny her siren’s call.

A few seconds later, he felt her inner walls clench around his fingers tighter, trying to suck them deeper inside, and then her muscles spasmed out of control. With a hoarse cry, she orgasmed, milking his fingers, and he groaned right alongside her, his aching shaft paining him with the need to thrust inside her, and take him out of his misery.

While he waited for Kagome to calm down, he held her tightly to his chest, silently fighting with himself. He wanted her, she wanted him, had begged him to make them one. It was that simple, yet his emotions complicated _everything_. More than once he’d told Kagome he didn’t care why she turned to him for sex, that he’d take her regardless of her motives, but that was no longer the case. There was only one of two reasons—or both—why Kagome was accepting him now. It was similar to a goodbye and one more fuck before she left him or because they’d recently had a brush with death, and she wanted to feel alive again, to celebrate in the most primal of ways that she—they—yet lived. But the end result would be the same. She would leave him.

He couldn’t accept it. His aching body screamed at him for his restraint, while his old self mocked him for wishing she’d turn to him because she held some feelings of affection for him. Though Kagome hadn’t flung his past sins in his face since their battle, she hadn’t voiced words of forgiveness and fondness for him either. Consequently, it made him uneasy, making him believe that she merely hid her displeasure. Worse, he feared she’d given up on him.

If she thought she could get away with saying good bye with one last fuck, she was sorely mistaken.

While he’d all but said he loved her, she hadn’t responded in kind, hadn’t responded at all actually. Though she hadn’t shot him down by rejecting him in words or actions, she hadn’t accepted his feelings either, let alone reciprocated them.

She’d loved him, she’d all but said the words as she tried to kill him. Had he lost her heart before realizing he’d even had it or realized he’d actually wanted it? The thought couldn’t be borne. And although he was chastising himself silently for his sentimental feelings, he refused to take her for any reason other than the one he craved. Her affection.

He was a bloody fool.

Kagome shifted against him, and he released her. Lowering his legs, Sesshomaru gripped her thighs and gently moved her legs off his own. Afterwards, he clenched his fists by his hips under the water to stop himself from touching her, from lifting her hips and impaling her with his shaft that refused to lose its erection.  

She had to leave, now, before he lost his will and took what she’d been offering.

“You should leave,” he said heavily, his voice too rough, too gravelly, and lacking conviction.

Instead of getting up and moving away from him as he’d hoped, Kagome turned to look over her shoulder at him, and a part of him was glad she didn’t move, traitorous thought that it was, mocking his attempts at self-control.

“But… I thought… you know,” she said, flushing.

Sesshomaru was sure her red face was not all from her previous orgasm but also her natural shyness. Did she still want him inside her even though he’d brought her fulfillment, or did she just want answers as to why he hadn’t taken her?

He was not going to spell out all his reasons. Even for her, he could not bring himself to inform her just how pathetically in love with her he was. His pride had always been his enemy upon occasion, and it most definitely was now. At least, maybe not until he knew her feelings regarding him, and her intentions to stay or go.

If she chose to stay… He’d give her what she’d been begging for and more. Much more.

“I’m trying to do the right thing for once. You do not love me,” he reminded her. “And I am through taking advantage of you.”

Something flashed in her eyes, gone too quickly for him to decipher the emotion that had caused it. Finally, she moved. Before disappointment could flood his heart, she turned, straddling his hips, his erection thrust between them, blatant and proud. He cursed between clenched teeth when Kagome wrapped her arms around his neck and leaned in close, rubbing her flat stomach against his shaft.

Her back was arched as she undulated her hips against him, giving Sesshomaru a clear view of her round breasts and pink nipples. Unable to help himself, he grabbed onto her hips, his fingers tight enough to bruise.

“Cease, miko,” he ordered roughly, but he did not physically stop her seductive movements.

“Am I hurting you?” she asked in a low, throaty voice, placing a hand over one of his scars.

Sesshomaru shook his head. “That is not the problem.”

Her hand travelled south, her wet hand gliding under the water, and though he knew where she was going, he did not stop her. Her small hand wrapped around him tightly, making him gnash his teeth at the pleasure. He was trembling with the strain of forcing self-control on himself, but if she continued with much more of _that_ , his good intentions would scatter.

“I don’t see a problem here either,” she teased, giving him a small, wicked smile.

Where had all Kagome’s confidence come from, he internally wondered. And why was she blatantly tempting him _now_ of all times?

“Kagome—” he grated, only to be interrupted.

“—Do you love me?”

Sesshomaru stiffened and met her gaze with slightly wide eyes. Unable to hold her questioning gaze, _he_ looked away, and he hated that he did so.

“As much as you love me,” he said sarcastically, still believing she felt nothing for him, hated him in fact. Though he’d meant the words to be scathing, her question hitting a little too close to home, his words were gruff with sexual tension, losing the impact he’d intended.

He could have bitten off his tongue after answering thusly. No, he did not want to admit to such feelings regardless of its truth, but neither did he want Kagome thinking he didn’t have said feelings for her. An impossible situation he had never found himself in before.

“Then I don’t see a problem,” Kagome said, surprising him.

Before he could even form a reply, she lifted herself up on her knees, and angled his shaft towards her. The head brushed her folds before finding her opening. At that first touch, his restraint shattered into a million pieces, thought fragmented. All that remained was _need_ , that agonizing _want_. The angle was slightly off. He helped her with hands grasping the back of her thighs, spreading her wider, lifting her higher.

Pressing, the wide head of his shaft gained entrance inside her, but the water made her tighter, though he could feel her liquid heat bathing the tip of his cock. Without being instructed, she sank down on him, while he lifted his hips, pushing deeper. A groan vibrated out of his chest, low and deep. Kagome clasped him like a fist, so tight, so fucking _right_.

Shaking her head, a moan of dismay left her parted lips, before she lifted her gaze to meet his own, a desperate quality etching her face.

“Why is it..? I don’t think…”

“It’ll work,” he panted, withdrawing the few inches he’d gained inside her.

She didn’t seem to like that, for her nails dug into his shoulders, and she tried to wiggle closer, to bring him back inside. He controlled her easily with hands on her upper thighs. Slightly bouncing her, he lunged upward, plunging deeper inside her moist heat. Another bounce, a harder thrust seated him firmly within her depths, causing them both to cry out in pleasure. Nails dug into flesh—both hers and his.

Palming her ass, Sesshomaru leaned back heavily against the side of the pool meeting Kagome’s heated gaze, her parted lips. Unable to help himself, he leaned forward and claimed her mouth, and she responded instantly, clinging to him, dueling her tongue with his the way he’d taught her. Adding a bit of suction, she drew his tongue farther into her mouth and gently nibbled, enflaming his ardor higher yet.

Praising her with a moan she swallowed, his hands squeezed the globes of her ass.

Leaning back, breaking the kiss, sharing their panting breaths, his lips were just an inch away from hers. “Ride me,” he ordered roughly, showing her how by guiding her with his hands.

Tentatively, she followed his lead; quickly gaining confidence, she took over.

The sounds she made as she moved over him slowly made him wild with lust, her inner walls gliding over his cock in maddening squeezes as she tightened them repeatedly around him.

The water surged around them, gently lapping at their flesh. Bringing her closer with a hand at the back of her neck, Sesshomaru pressed her beasts against his chest, skin moving against skin, sweat coating their exposed flesh. Moving her wet hair off her shoulder, Sesshomaru placed an open mouth kiss between her shoulder and neck, tasting the salt of her sweat on his tongue. With a small gasp, Kagome turned her head, giving him greater access when he mapped her rapidly beating pulse with his rough tongue.

With the gentle rising and falling of her hips, he easily latched onto he neck and suckled—hard, wanting to brand her in some way. Leaving a mark, he grazed her flesh with his fangs next. Kagome trembled and curled her arms around the back of his head in silent encouragement for more.

He needed more as well or die.

Wrapping his arm around her waist, he pushed up with his hips, going deeper than before, as deep as he could, forcing her to take all of him. His thrust was hard, fast, and she understood his silent instruction, his desperate plea lacing the movement.

Using his shoulders as leverage, nails biting into flesh, she rode him. Fast and hard, her hips moved at an erratic pace, impaling herself over and over again.

“Give me your mouth,” he commanded gruffly when she hid her face in his neck, desperate to taste her.

He ate her small cries of pleasure, feasted on her lips and tongue like a man starved. He palmed the back of her head to prevent the quick pace of her flexing hips from dislodging his kiss, the other flexing on her spine. Her back was so slim, his large hand spanned the width easily. Everything about her reminded him how small and delicate she was, how easily broken, how precious.

Protective instincts rose beside his lust. He would keep her safe always—if she’d let him.

Even as she rode him, determination settled over his mind. He’d make her accept him. Had he really been contemplating giving her a choice in the matter? Madness!

Beneath his lips, her mouth fell open in a soundless cry, her inner walls tightening around his cock rhythmically, her sheath attempting to wring his seed from him as she orgasmed around him. Her frantic movements stilled, body trembling and thighs twitching as her release washed through her.

Not having nearly enough of her, Sesshomaru moved his arms from around her and under her legs, easily hooking the back of her knees in the crook of his elbows. With a graceful lunge, he stood. With just the support of his arms, he held her in the air. With a flex of his biceps and hips, he retreated and pushed back inside her quivering sheath, impaling her repeatedly.

Her release went on and on as this new position sent her spiraling into another orgasm right after the first. If Kagome minded their change in position, she made no comment save for her escalated cries of enjoyment. After her third release in such a short amount of time, she went boneless against him, one arm thrown over his shoulder, the other plastered against his chest as she gripped his shoulder. Her face was pressed into the hollow at his throat, but even as her body gave out, her strength all but depleted, heated moans bathed his flesh with her hot breaths. His thrusting hips and plunging cock against sensitive tissue still capable of giving her pleasure despite her tiredness.

“Sesshomaru…” she whimpered. “You’re killing me!”

“There is no better way to die than encased inside your flesh,” he replied with what air he could force from heaving lungs, pleasure sizzling across every nerve ending in his body.

“I’m tired, you brute,” she said on a harsh gasp.

Her words pushed him away, but her tight core pulled him closer, deeper.

“You unlocked the beast, Kagome. Take all of me, everything that I am.”

His balls were drawn up tight to his body, paining him with the need to spill within her, but he clenched his fangs. Not yet, dammit! He had yet to have his fill of her. Would he ever?

Though she murmured a weak protest, her body answered the call of his desire, climbing towards another release. He could feel her reaction, how she tensed and squirmed closer, grinding her pelvic against his own, circling his length inside her.

“Again?” she whispered with no little surprise. “Impo…ssible…” A gasp interrupted her as he bounced her higher, thrusting farther still when he impaled her on his shaft again, their pelvises slapping together.

Though his thrusts were slower as he continued to lift her higher, the new rhythm made sure he sank as deep as he could go, forcing her to take him to the root, the head of his cock bumping the end of her. It also allowed him to last just a little longer, to enjoy her squeezing, moist depths for a few minutes more until she came with a keening wail next to his ear.

Control snapped, his need for fulfillment uppermost in his mind.

Feeling her depleted body collapse against him, her inner walls contracting against his cock in aftershocks of pleasure, Sesshomaru gently deposited her flat on her back on the tiled floor at the edge of the pool. But that’s were his gentleness ended. Pushing her knees clear up to her chest with forearms still beneath her thighs, Sesshomaru pounded inside her. To make sure his powerful lunges didn’t move her across the slick floor, he leaned down, pinning her with his weight, bending Kagome almost in half. The angle assured him depth, and he forced her to take him to the root with every shallow thrust, pistoning inside her.

Sesshomaru no longer kept up a controlled rhythm but thrust erratically. Though his thrusts were shallow, they were fast and deep, massaging the sensitive head against moist tissue. He was barely aware of her blunt nails digging into his forearms, her thrashing head as he forced her to ride the edge of another orgasm. He was too busy centered on his own pleasure, racing for that high that would send him over and into oblivion of bliss and ecstasy.

“I love you; I love you!”

At first, Sesshomaru thought he’d been the one to utter that desperate admission, but a few seconds later, he realized it was Kagome whimpering her love, and that knowledge was his undoing. Muttering a heated curse, Sesshomaru thrust home, balls deep one last time, and felt Kagome milk his seed as she climaxed with him, taking all he had to give deep inside her.

“Kagome, my love,” he gritted out against her neck, the closet he may ever get in verbalizing his feelings for her.

Even while overcome with the most immense pleasure he’d ever been given, his pride would not bend far enough to utter the words; _I love you_.

“You are mine,” he growled, possessiveness clear on his feral face, his grip almost brutal as he emptied himself inside her.

He was not letting her go. Ever. Consequences be damned. There was no where she could hide without him being able to find her, no way for her to outrun him.

An Inugami always got what he wanted, and he wanted her.


	28. To Start Again

Kagome was smiling while she dressed. The clothes she put on were an exact replica of the ones Sesshomaru had paid for when they’d been in the spirit world together. She hadn’t heard Sesshomaru instruct the little imp—Jaken wasn’t it?—to obtain the same style, but then, if Jaken had gone to the same shop, perhaps one Sesshomaru often frequented, the shop keeper probably remembered her and what she had left with last time.

Truthfully, she barely reflected about her clothes, but about the Inugami himself.

Sesshomaru hadn’t said the words exactly, but it was obvious he _did_ love her or suspected he did. It was obvious the demon had never experienced the emotion, but going by his previous actions, there was little doubt in her mind that he was struggling with his new feelings, trying to understand them and come to grips with them just as she was.

Kagome couldn’t help but recall how he’d been thinking about her while she’d been controlled by Tatsuo, how he hadn’t killed her when he’d had the chance and at first intended to do. He’d put his life in danger to keep her safe, and when he’d been fighting off his fever, he’d said the most kind things to her, further revealing how he felt towards her. But what really shoved all doubt from her mind was what happened between them a short while ago. Sesshomaru hadn’t taken advantage of her. Though she was still unfamiliar in the ways of intimacies between a man and woman, she’d seen the signs that he’d desired her, had wanted to take what she had shamelessly offered him, but he hadn’t, and all because he wanted her to turn to him out of love.

Sesshomaru hadn’t said much about his feelings after he woke from his illness, but going by what little he had said, the things he implied—heavily—she filled in the blanks.

Sesshomaru loved her.

The happy grin on her face dimmed.

However, he hadn’t apologized to her, about anything, and though it wasn’t his job or prerogative to save people in need, she still found it hard to forgive him for allowing her village to be destroyed. Her obaasan… She’d died while he could have saved her.

Was that why he was trying to help her find Kikyo, as a way of apologizing to her? He didn’t demand anything of her by offering his assistance. At least not that she was aware of. Considering his past secret scheming, there was every possibility that his intentions weren’t as honorable as they appeared. Was he planning something? If so, would Kikyo be harmed? …Or worse? Just the thought chilled her heart and brought her anger to the fore.

Then she remembered Sesshomaru’s delirious ramblings. He claimed he was no longer trying to corrupt her, to change her. Were his intention in helping her find her sister honorable? She had to know, now, before she continued travelling with him towards her sister’s most likely destination—the bandit force’s stronghold.

Her shoulders slumped as she realized something, tying the last of her garments together. Love wasn’t enough. Sesshomaru loved her she was sure, and she loved him even though that probably wasn’t the wisest thing she had done. However, if she stayed with him, could she trust him?

She’d grown up believing in fairytales, until one day an Inugami came along and shattered everything. Sesshomaru claimed she hadn’t been as naïve as he’d previously thought, but Kagome wasn’t stupid. She knew she’d been a little girl refusing to grow up and see the world as it truly was. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows as she’d once thought. Though there was good in the world, there was more evil than she’d realized and demons were not the only cause of the darkness. Humans were, too.

Though Sesshomaru’s methods left much to be desired, Kagome had matured somewhat since meeting him and couldn’t help but realize that he’d helped her grow—even unwittingly. And one of the life lessons she just now realized she’d come to understand was that love was not enough to keep a relationship going.

Did they even have a relationship? Not a normal one, that was for certain.

 

Sesshomaru watched Kagome intently as they dressed. Her back was to him but at her continual silence, he knew she was dwelling on something. On what, he could not be completely sure. But if she thought this was the last time they were going to be intimate, he would prove her wrong with relish. He’d been momentarily confused and out of his goddamn mind since waking up, but that had passed. He was now back to his former, confident self…or mostly.

Staring at Kagome’s back, he couldn’t help but worry and doubt. Why wasn’t she saying anything? Teasing him like before while she dressed? She’d played the siren pretty damn well for a novice, but now that seductive attitude was gone.

Placing his swords back where they belonged, wearing his new garments that was his customary attire, he strode towards her on silent footsteps. The marble, bath floor should have caused his steps to echo around the wide room, but like the predator he was, he stalked his prey without making the slightest sound. With every step, he forced his insecurities further away and resorted to what he knew best—seduction.

Stopping less than a foot behind her, making sure the warmth of his body didn’t warn her of his proximity, he reached for her as she finished tying her hakama. His arms encircled her waist, bringing her back against his chest, forcing her to take that last step to bridge the gap between them.

He grinned when she made a surprised squeak. Leaning down, he whispered heatedly in her ear.

“Have you already had your fill of me, aijin? Or is this a new game? Do you want me to seduce you out of your new clothing?”

That was obviously the worst thing he could have said.

Instead of relaxing against him with a sigh and respond to his sexual advance, she stiffened and shoved him away with her elbow in his ribs. He let her go with a frown, staring into her eyes as she turned to stare up at him after putting some space between them.

“Is that what all this is to you? A _game_? Stop playing around! This is serious here.”

That she berated him did nothing to improve his inner misgivings, and he fought not to scowl down at her.

“A poor choice of words on my part,” he said smoothly, his voice, his whole demeanor losing all traces of sexual teasing.

“Then what did you mean?” She waved her hand in a dismissive gesture before he was given a chance to respond. “Never mind. That’s not important right now.”

“Speak plainly.”

He was not liking her change in mood at all. He much preferred her seductive approach, not this angered, exasperated onna who stood before him now.

“I love you.”

Her unexpected admission made his heart stutter in his chest. So the previous sentiment hadn’t been fueled by lust like many were wont to do in the throes of orgasm? His hope was soon dashed by her next words.

“And I think you love me, too, but that doesn’t matter. Not completely.”

“What are you saying?” he more demanded than asked, his eyes narrowed on her face.

He refused to admit that he loved her. However, it was obvious Kagome seemed to be aware of his volatile emotions. Was that a good or bad thing? He’d like to believe it was a good sign since he had no intention of putting his feelings into words. It was too much for him.

She shook her head. “It’s not enough. Love can’t keep two people together.”

With grim determination, he dragged her against his chest with an arm around her waist. With his other hand, he slid his fingers between her cleavage, claws gently scrapping against her haori. “We have this between us.”

She shoved him away again, and again he let her. Again he’d angered her.

“Stop it, Sesshomaru! Lust isn’t enough either. It takes a lot more than that, like trust, and I don’t know if I can trust you.”

What more did he have to give, he internally groused. She already had his heart, though he hadn’t planned or even wanted to give it. No, he hadn’t given it. She’d stolen it. Somehow, someway, she’d gotten under his skin and dug deep.

“Kagome…” He had no idea what to say.

She didn’t demand that he spill his guts on the floor and speak of his feelings for her—a blessing—but she did demand to know his motives, which was not much better. Her new doubt rankled—even if he deserved it.

“Why did you offer to help me find Kikyo? Were you just being nice for once or do you have something else planned? If you hurt Kikyo, I’ll never forgive you.” She spat the last at him, protectiveness making her defensive and ready to attack him at any given moment. He could see it in the tenseness of her body, the resolve in her eyes.

It was then that he realized that she hadn’t forgiven him, for anything. And like Kagome said, lust and love were not enough—not for her. Not by a long shot. Almost petulantly, he wondered why the hell not? Plenty of people were content to stick around another on lust alone, but again he was reminded that this woman was different. It was refreshing but also maddening.

Stiffly, he answered, “I never intended for her to come into harm’s way.”

He had, however, wanted to make up any reason to keep her by his side and rely on him. He’d even planned to alienate Kagome from her sister, knowing that Kikyo would probably be a formidable barrier between them. Kagome all but worshipped her sister and should Kikyo reject his presence in Kagome’s life, he’d feared she’d listen to Kikyo and leave him. However, it seemed more likely that Kagome would leave him because of his own actions, without help from her sister’s interference. Had anyone else been in this situation, Sesshomaru would have found it amusing. Since it was him, he was not amused.

“Not even like my obaasan or my entire village?” Then her tone lowered. “I know I can’t expect you to save everyone in trouble but this is my family, the last of my family. If you’re just going to stand by and not help, then I think it would be best if you didn’t come at all.”

“You are dismissing me?” he seethed, his fangs clenched tightly shut at the thought.

“You no longer wish to corrupt me—” How did she know that, he wondered. “—and we don’t have a contract for me to abide to.” The reminder of one of his many lies made him stiffen. It shouldn’t matter to him that he’d been found out. It never had before, but this time was vastly different than all the others.

“I’m not dismissing you, Sesshomaru,” she continued more gently. “I very much want your help. I’ll probably need your strength if we get there in the middle of a blood bath. Knowing the bad luck I’ve been having lately, that is more than likely.”

Now she was the one to step closer to him. Her small hand fell on his torso, and she upturned beseeching eyes to him. “Please, will you help me and save Kikyo if it comes to that?”

Her sister could undoubtedly hold her own, but her foes were not demons that could be purified, and Kikyo was attacking the bandits’ stronghold. She’d be surrounded by enemies with just Sesshomaru’s bother to aid her in Kikyo’s vendetta. Kagome knew nothing about Inuyasha or his expertise in battle, but she knew Sesshomaru, and he could easily kill an army of humans without much effort—if any.

Was she trying to use her feminine wiles on him, he wondered as he stared down at her. Would she stoop down to his level and manipulate him into doing what she wanted? Sesshomaru didn’t think so. No matter how hard he’d tried to corrupt her, he could still see that innocent onna in the hardened eyes of the woman before him.

Placing his clawed hand over hers, he moved her palm over his heart.

“I will help you, Kagome.”

Maybe this was the first step in gaining the trust she needed from him, giving her that much more reason to choose to stay with him. But looking into her relieved gaze, he could still see shadows swirling in her brown eyes and knew she wanted something else from him. She didn’t ask for or prompt him to give it, but he knew what it was without being told.

Giving up just a bit of his pride, bending only marginally, he murmured sincerely, “Forgive me for all the pain that I have caused you. It will not happen again.”

Her eyes widened, lips parted on a small gasp as Kagome realized what he was trying to say.

_I’m sorry._

And then she smiled at him.

Sesshomaru’s unease lightened at the sight.

No, he did not mean that he was sorry that her village was destroyed, her obaasan killed. He wasn’t sorry for anything he had done and would probably do it all over again, but he was sorry for the pain he’d caused her, another first for him. He didn’t tell her that, knew some truths were too painful to hear, and Sesshomaru refused to lose any more ground with Kagome. He wasn’t manipulating her this time, only omitting a few things. It wasn’t even a lie. He was sorry.

“Thank you,” she whispered, meaning it.

Unable to help himself, Sesshomaru leaned down. He gave her plenty of time to turn away from him, to reject him, but she did not. Instead, she met him halfway, returning his kiss.  


	29. Open Your Eyes

A loud blast echoed around them, a bright flash of power, demonic in nature, destroyed part of the bandit forces’ castle. Even though they were nowhere near the deadly attack, Kagome could hear screams. Even as she recoiled in surprise, her companion stood unmoving.

“W-what was _that_?”

“The Wind Scar,” Sesshomaru replied monotonously, leading her towards the broken gates.

The high wall surrounding the castle was built out of solid rock, but where the thick, wooden gate should have been to keep out trespassers was gone. Crumbling rock and splintered wood was the only obstacles remaining to either climb over or move around to gain entrance into the enemy’s stronghold. As they moved past the destruction, going inside the castle walls, Kagome noticed deep depressions in the ground. Long lines, several yards in length, cut into the ground like scars.

“The Wind—what?”

Sesshomaru gazed around, inwardly, grudgingly impressed as always by Tetsusaiga’s awesome powers. It was a sword he himself had once coveted, before he’d come to possess an even stronger fang—his own, Bakusaiga. 

Sesshomaru cupped Kagome’s elbow, and helped her around the crumbling gate and into the courtyard filled with the dead.

“The Wind Scar,” he repeated patiently. “Inuyasha’s sword bequeathed to him by our father has the power to destroy a hundred enemies with one stroke. The sword was forged from our father’s fang and named Tetsusaiga.”

Before Kagome could answer, just realizing that Sesshomaru’s brother was stronger than she’d previously thought, screaming, blood covered bandits came running towards them. The fear in their expressions was undeniable, and the sight of Sesshomaru and Kagome between them and escape had them stumbling to a stop. All four of them gaped at them. Kagome would have been totally fine with allowing them escape. Her purpose was to find Kikyo and defend her should her elder sister be in danger, not attack cowards.

But it seemed these men bolstered their courage and ran at them, swords drawn, and screaming in a clear attempt at intimidation. While Kagome stiffened and struggled to prepare her bow and arrow, clearly affected by their tactic, Sesshomaru merely sneered. Without drawing his own blade, a waste on these scum, he flicked his wrist contemptuously at them, his green whip flashing out and easily tearing them down with one swipe.

Kagome grimaced as blood spewed into the air, only to soak into the ground next to the attackers’ body parts. No matter how many times she’d seen an enemy torn apart, the sight always turned her stomach. Death was a whole lot messier than she’d ever imagined.

“Let’s go, Kagome,” Sesshomaru intoned stoically.

Before she could react, a strong arm was wrapped around her waist, and they were airborne. A mistake. Because as soon as they flew close to the impressive castle, arrows were launched at them from dozens upon dozens of men manning the walls.

Kagome screamed when Sesshomaru dodged them, scaring the life out of her as he turned them vertically in the air, even upside down in dizzying circles. Incensed that human scum dared attack _him_ and his precious miko, Sesshomaru narrowed his eyes at them and charged. Using his claws at the oncoming projections, acid sprang out and melted them before they could strike.

The bandits screamed, a few shouted to keep firing arrows, while others fell over each other in a useless bid at escape. Sesshomaru landed in their midst and shoved Kagome behind him. Still, he did not draw his sword.

Using his acid at the closest humans, he sprayed them with the deadly, green liquid, and watched them melt into piles of blood and meat and bones. They didn’t even have time to scream as his acid consumed them.

Behind him, using his large body as a shield, Kagome notched her bow and fired, killing a man who had lifted his own bow to strike Sesshomaru down. Her arrow flew true, sinking into his throat. She barely heard the gurgling sound over the screams and shouts.

The two kept close. When Sesshomaru moved to advance on more men, Kagome was close behind him, firing arrows. And because they were a threat to her sister, wherever she might be in this chaos, Kagome even struck at the men fleeing for their lives without hesitation. She didn’t see them as humans, only the enemy, didn’t have the luxury to quim about taking another human life.

She had someone to protect, and these men would take Kikyo from her if given the chance. She almost smiled ruefully when she realized that her sister would probably not recognize her after all the change and maturing she’d done while they had been apart.

“Miko! Get behind the beam,” Sesshomaru ordered her and raced after a group of bandits.

Kagome didn’t hesitate. She did as she was told. Using the beam as protection just in case a bandit decided to shoot more arrows at her, Kagome drew back her bowstring and fired. Normally, she’d infuse her arrows with her purifying light, but these were humans, and she didn’t need to waste her strength by using her reiki.

And in just a few minutes, the bandits were dead. At least this small force. There were probably more around, a lot more. Bodies littered the ground, blood everywhere, body parts either intact or bits and pieces lying around. As Kagome gazed in mute horror, Sesshomaru returned to her side.

He slipped a reassuring arm around her waist. “You did well.”

Still mute, she nodded, grim determination setting her features, stiffening her spine. As they ran down the hall and into the manor, she kept reminding herself that this was necessary, that she wasn’t murdering these people but defending the last of her family. War, bloodshed, nothing mattered. Not the men she had been forced to kill, even the cowards who ran, not the blood and bodies riddling the ground.

Only one thing mattered now.

“Do you know where Kikyo is?”

“I can feel her presence. She’s with my bother.”

Turning a corner, there were more bandits. As if they had been waiting for them, a horde of men ran at them, shouting and brandishing swords. Sesshomaru didn’t hesitate. He went into the midst of their charging party and slashed with his claws, kicking out at them with his booted foot, cracking bones, fracturing skulls.   

Seeing that he hadn’t hesitated to bring them down, Kagome forced herself to see Sesshomaru as he truly was. A demon, a ruthless Inugami in his element—death and mayhem. She’d seen him kill before, but something was different this time—he was different. Whereas before Sesshomaru took sick pleasure in killing, this time he was methodical in his movements. There was no pleasure curving his lips, no gleam in his eyes as his enemies fell before him. It was then that Kagome realized the difference. Sesshomaru wasn’t trying to corrupt her. That had been the only reason why he’d basked in the previous deaths since she’d known him.

He was trying to help her, to get her to Kikyo and help save her sister. His actions, every flick of his wrist, every rotation of his body as he dispatched another bandit spoke of clear-minded determination.

No.

It was more than that, she knew, was coming to suspect as the truth. Sesshomaru acted like his opponents were scum, like they didn’t matter, or deserved life. They were just in his way. How should she feel about that? Knowing that Sesshomaru held these men’s lives in no regard at all?

The answer—nothing.

She was a miko. She was taught to show compassion and believe that every man deserved to live his life as he chose, but these men weren’t human. They didn’t have a soul, no conscience. It was then that she realized that she cared nothing at all for these men either. They were in _her_ way. They had to die not because they were evil or because she wanted to be their judge and executioner, but because they threatened the life of the one she loved.

To live was to die.

To love was to hate.

To protect she had to kill.

Kagome didn’t hesitate when a man rushed her, wearing armor and swinging his sword at her with deadly intent. She struck him down with an arrow. She’d barely had time to string her bow before he was upon her, and fear swelled in her gut at that brush of death. No! She was not going to die here, not yet. Determination only fueled her as Sesshomaru signaled for her to come to him after all their enemies lay dead on the ground.

“They are in the castle—” began Sesshomaru, only to be interrupted by another wave of youki. A horrendous blast echoed around them, and the very foundation of the manor trembled. Dust fell around them, and Sesshomaru snarled. “ _Foolish pup!_ ”

“What’s going on?!” Kagome screamed, stumbling with the quaking floor, then falling to her knees, unable to retain her balance.

All around them, the support beams cracked, the walls fissuring with deep depressions as the structure threatened to crumble, to bury them alive and crush them to death. Sesshomaru had no doubt that he could survive the castle toppling on top of him, but not Kagome. She was human, frail— _she could die._

He reached down and dragged her up and into his arms.

“We are getting out of here!”

Kagome didn’t protest as Sesshomaru raced through the winding halls, moving through large and small rooms in search of a way out. All around them, bandits screamed in fear, trying to get out as well as the manor threatened to be their grave, but a few were stupid enough to confront Sesshomaru or get in his way. Using his poison whip, he dispatched them easily, contemptuously.

Just above, a thick, wooden beam gave out, forcing Sesshomaru to dodge to the side. Then, like a domino effect, more beams cracked and splintered, crashing down onto the floor, and since they were not on ground level, the weight of the smashing beams shuddered the floor. In some places, the floor splintered and gave under the weight.

Kagome watched with wide eyed horror as bandits were crushed under the beams, their bodies breaking open like a squeezed orange, painting the floor crimson, while others fell through the floor, their high pitched wails abruptly cut off  as they landed, bodies shattered.

Another blast of youki—Inuyasha’s Wind Scar, Kagome now knew.

Sesshomaru snarled as the floor crumbled beneath his feet, the ceiling collapsing around them. Dust and debris choked the scream Kagome had been about to make as they fell. Acting quickly as splintered wood and plaster bombarded his back, Sesshomaru curled around Kagome and gathered his energy around him, creating a barrier around them. Using more energy, he kept them suspended in the air, stopping their downwards fall, even as the manor’s foundation smashed and cracked against his barrier, trying to take them down with the castle and bury them.

Even before all was settled, Sesshomaru lifted them higher into the air. The heavy obstacles around them were no match for his strength as his force field pushed aside anything and everything in his path, or even going through the wood, punching holes into wood and rock. Higher and higher they rose while Kagome clung to his shoulders, her face buried against his chest, her small body trembling. He could smell her fear, and he gnashed his fangs, pissed anew at his brother’s brash attack.

It didn’t matter that Inuyasha was obviously unaware of their presence. Kagome had been put in danger by that half-breed’s hands. And he would pay dearly for that.

With a crash, Sesshomaru finally emerged from the rubble with Kagome held protectively in his arms. Shooting high into the air, he lowered the barrier, and they gazed around at the destruction. The sun was setting, bathing the collapsed castle in vivid oranges and reds, making it seem like everything was on fire even though it was not.

“Wow,” Kagome whispered shakily, gazing down, her death grip on Sesshomaru’s shoulders not lessening in the slightest.

With all the smoke from the dust, she couldn’t see much. Even the courtyard seemed bathed in the fog. She couldn’t see Kikyo or Inuyasha yet, and that worried her.

“Do you… Do you think they made it out?”

There was no need to voice who she meant. Sesshomaru understood, and he nodded.

“Most likely. That idiot doesn’t know how to die.”

Somehow, that didn’t do much to reassure her.

Blood covered Sesshomaru’s clothes, staining her own and her hands. She ignored it as he took them to the ground. She coughed on the settling dust. There were bandits who had survived the manor’s collapse, having not been within or around the crumbling structure as it fell. Out of the dust, they came.

The bandits stumbled to a halt at the first sight of them, but Sesshomaru didn’t hesitate. While he attacked, more emerged, either one at a time or in twos and threes as they coughed and tried to flee, but seeing Kagome, they built their courage and came at her. Most fell beneath Sesshomaru’s poison whip, but one got past him without Sesshomaru realizing it. The bandit had lost his helm, blood falling down his face from a wound on his forehead, blinding one of his eyes with blood. He held no sword, probably lost it during the battle, but he was no less scary unarmed.

Kagome tried to notch an arrow, but he was too close. With a menacing grin, seeing that he had the advantage, he tackled her. With a muffled _oomph_ , the bandit’s arm caught her in the stomach. She toppled backwards, the brute falling half on top of her, pinning her legs beneath his heavy weight.

As the bandit scrambled to climb fully on top of her, Kagome opened her mouth to scream, fear tightening her muscles, trying to take over her mind and senses, but large hands wrapped around her neck. She couldn’t breathe let alone scream! As he laughed in her face, spittle lashing her cheek, and foul breath washing over her, Kagome’s eyes widened on that grisly mask hovering over her. Bloodlust and death stared back at her.

In her panic, Kagome forgot that she could communicate to Sesshomaru telepathically. Her hands clawed at the brute’s wrists and fingers, trying to pry his punishing grip from her neck, but it was useless. He was stronger. Chocking, the outer edge of her vision darkening, threatening to send her into unconsciousness, Kagome let go with her right hand and searched the ground near her, knowing death would follow if she were to pass out.

Fear was like an insidious monster, threatening to consume her. Her desperate hand found a slim stick, and she grasped it like a lifeline, but as if he knew what she was about, one of the bandit’s hands released her neck and took ahold of her wrist in a crushing hold. But the pressure on her throat did not abate in the slightest.

With more fear behind the blow than strength in the awkward position she was in, Kagome struck out with her other fist, punching him in the throat. He released her neck with a chocked cry, reeling back. As he straddled her hips, he released her completely to grab ahold of his own neck as he fought to breathe.

Seeing her chance, Kagome sucked in much needed air and fought not to cough as she struck with the object in her now freed hand—the arrow she’d dropped. The sharp point dug into his ear. A muffled bellow, blood spurting, but he was not dead yet. She hadn’t struck nearly hard enough.

With a coughing scream of her own, Kagome flung her arm wildly. More luck than aim, the arrowhead sliced his carotid artery. Big hands clamped down on the wound, but dark blood gushed between clenched fingers, spraying her face with hot, sticky blood. He fell to the ground beside her, whimpering and convulsing.

Scrambling to her feet, Kagome doubled over in a fit of coughing, her throat burning with every breath she took, her bruised neck paining her like sharp needles. As she fought to breathe, the man’s frantic movements lessened, then finally stopped. Glazed eyes stared up at her—dead.

Not seeing Sesshomaru, she tried to call out to him, but her bruised throat could not make coherent sound yet.

 _Sesshomaru!_ she shouted mentally, finally remembering to communicate to him mind to mind. _Where are—_

Someone ran into her from behind, taking her to the dirt again. A tangle of limbs and shouted words as they both tried to regain their feet. On her knees beside yet another bandit, Kagome screeched, fear taking ahold of her anew. Though this brute tried to scramble away, she fell on him with a banshee like wail. Lifting her hand that still held the bloodied arrow, she stabbed him over and over again. She aimed for whatever flesh she could see not protected by armor—his neck and face.

Hands tried to shove her away, but only for a moment as she continued to lift her arm and strike. Blood spurted from multiple wounds, bathing her face further, neck and chest. She didn’t care, but when her arm finally gave out on her, her strength gone, she blinked away the sticky substance that blinded her, and saw a horrific sight.

The bandits face was no longer recognizable and his neck left in shreds. Skin was peeled back and she saw muscle and bone. His eyes were mere bloody holes, his nose cut off. She’d mutilated him.

Gagging, Kagome fell back, her rump landing painfully on the ground as she scampered backwards with a flailing of limbs, only to feel a hand on her shoulder, stopping her flight. Panicked, Kagome emanated a muffled scream and lifted her blood soaked arrow. A hand gripped her wrist, halting her attack, and amber eyes stared back at her. A familiar, soothingly deep voice penetrated the fog of her fear.

“Kagome, Kagome! Be at ease. It is I. Sesshomaru!”

“S-sessho…maru..?”

Strong arms wrapped around her back, and she was pressed up against Sesshomaru’s blood soaked chest, her face making the white garment redder still. A palm stroked the back of her head, calming her.

“Yes. I’m here. You’re safe now.”

Kagome clutched at him and began to cry.

“He… he tried to… I was so scared!”

Sesshomaru frowned, pushed her back to inspect her for injuries. Blood covered her, but thankfully none of it seemed to be her own, but his eyes narrowed on her neck. Bruises were already starting to form, hand prints. She’d almost been strangled. Because he hadn’t been by her side, Kagome had almost died. Realizing that, Sesshomaru shuddered violently. Using a clean patch on his haori sleeve, he did his best to wipe away the blood on her face.

Her face was still crimson when he pulled away, but at least it wasn’t dripping with the bandit scums’ blood anymore.

“Calm yourself, Kagome. They’re dead now. You’re safe.”

When she continued to cry silently, Sesshomaru longed to pull her into his arms again and comfort her, but now was not the time. Grabbing her shoulders, he shook her roughly.

“Now is not the time to go into hysterics! We still have to find your sister, remember?”

The fear in her brown eyes receded at the mention of Kikyo. The tears slowly stopped, and Kagome nodded silently. Sesshomaru helped her to her feet. Picking her up, he carried her towards the place he felt their siblings’ auras. However, when he found them, he stopped.

“What? Why did you stop?” Kagome asked, gazing around them before she was struck mute.

Several yards away, she saw them. Kikyo and Inuyasha were embracing, kissing heatedly and shoving each other’s clothes off. In the back of her mind, Kagome realized her sister wouldn’t be doing what she obviously intended, to have sex on the battlefield, if the enemy hadn’t been dispatched.

With a shocked gasp, she turned her face against Sesshomaru’s chest and said on a hiss, “Give them some privacy! I don’t want to watch my sister… doing _that_ again!”

Glancing up at him with narrowed eyes, meeting his amused, amber stare, she silently dared him to object.

“Of course, aijin. I would never wish to interrupt a mating couple.”

With a disbelieving shriek, Kagome punched him in the shoulder as he turned away from the couple and took them to the sky again.

“Wait! Where are we going? We can’t just leave!”

Sesshomaru chuckled wickedly.

“Have a change of heart, did you? Do you want to watch—”

“No!” she all but screamed.

Not a minute later, Sesshomaru dropped down, landing soundlessly on the ground. They were still within the walls of the bandits’—now dead or fled—stronghold, but far enough away from Kikyo and Inuyasha to give them privacy. They were in another section of the courtyard, but it seemed Inuyasha and Kikyo had been here as well, for dead bandits littered the ground, blood and gore scattered everywhere. Even beneath Sesshomaru’s boots was a puddle of blood. He didn’t seem to care.

“Sesshomaru, how long do you think we’re going to have to—”

Sesshomaru wasn’t listening. Instead, he buried his face in her throat, forcing her to tip her head back and felt his tongue lap at her exposed flesh.

“Hey!” She shoved against his head. Her hand was sticky with drying blood, and it left a crimson smudge in his beautiful, silver locks. She hardly noticed. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

Inhuman eyes impaled her wide eyed gaze, an undeniable heat smoldering his amber pools. Her breath caught at the heated quality he didn’t even try to hide from her. Instantly, despite the carnage and devastation around them, her body responded to that look.

Without answering her, he tightened his arms around her. Head descending slowly, he gave her ample time to turn away from his advance, but she didn’t, couldn’t. Enthralled by the promise of pleasure in his hooded gaze, Kagome murmured a small sound of pleasure when his lips brushed hers. Usually, his kisses were hard, all-consuming, but this time, they were like butterfly wings. One second, she barely felt his mouth, the next, he was pressing just a little harder, but still it was the gentlest kiss she’d ever experienced from him.

Angling his head from side to side, he brushed her lips with his own chastely until her lips trembled. Wanting more, knowing he could give her a much more satisfying kiss, Kagome leaned towards him. She parted her lips in a silent signal for more. Instead of thrusting his tongue inside as she wanted, Sesshomaru’s lips parted. He mimicked the motions of his previous kisses, opening and closing his mouth, rubbing their lips together, and though it heated her blood further, he did not give her his tongue.

With a small sound of frustration, Kagome took the initiative and thrust her tongue inside Sesshomaru’s mouth in an attempt to coax his own to come out and play with hers. However, as soon as her tongue entered his mouth, his lips wrapped around the appendage and suckled gently, teeth nipping at her.

Her breath caught.

If he was trying to seduce her, it was working. She wanted more, ached for it—for him.

“Sesshomaru,” she whimpered into his mouth, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck, trying to make him kiss her harder.

“You want me, Kagome?” he whispered huskily to her when he pulled back instead of heeding her seductive call.

“Yes!” She tried to kiss him again, but she was settled too low on his chest to reach his lips, so she placed openmouthed kisses on his neck, sucking his flesh. He groaned. Her womb clenched at the erotic sound.

She forgot that her sister was even now being embraced by her lover, about the death around them. Her only thoughts were centered on _her_ man, _her_ lover.

Her tongue found his pulse, and she licked at it, only to recoil at the taste of copper and iron. Blinking dazed eyes, she saw the few specks of blood on his throat where she’d been licking, and it wasn’t his blood, she knew. In dawning horror, Kagome barely felt Sesshomaru move, not until her back was pressed against a hard surface, a wall. Something cool soaked into the back of her haori, and there was no doubt in her mind what it was—blood. Sesshomaru easily manipulated her limbs, pressing his chest against hers to keep her in place and grasped the back of her thighs. He forced her to wrap her legs around his hips before grinding his thick shaft against her core, causing her to moan.

Desire conflicted with horror as his hand gripped the back of her hair and tugged, forcing her to look up at him. His kiss had been gentle. His manhandling was not.

He licked her face, cleaning her cheek of the blood that was still there. Then he was kissing his way across her jaw until he reached her ear, where he nipped almost painfully at the lobe. She gasped sharply, liquid heat pooling between her thighs.

“Sesshomaru. Now’s not the—”

“Look at me,” he commanded, none of the lust in his eyes portraying in his voice when she met his gaze.

Like her, his breathing was deeper, coming faster, and like her, his body was primed for sex. As they stared into each other’s eyes, he thrust against her core purposefully—once, twice, then thrice before he held still, using his hips to pin her against the bloodied wall behind her.

Her next breath was shuddered, aroused.

“See me,” he murmured, hunching over her.

“I do see you.”

He shook his head once, his gaze hard despite his desire. “You look at me but you do not see. You do not comprehend _who_ I am.”

He parted the folds of her haori, baring the bindings that wrapped around her chest. With his claws, he easily shredded the fabric, spilling her bountiful breasts to his gaze. She tried to cover herself, but he grabbed her wrists and pinned them to the wall on either side of her. Blood and stone scraped her soft flesh.

“No more hiding,” he told her. “You want me to see you for who you are, and I am—now. You are not the hypocrite I thought you to be, hiding your inner darkness with your calling as a priestess. I see you, a courageous woman, kind and giving. You do not allow the darkness within yourself to taint who and what you are.” Then he kissed her, hard, his fang biting into her lower lip until a drop of blood welled and he licked it away. “I accept you the way you are, Kagome. I don’t ask you to accept me in kind, but to _see_ me.”

Looking into his gaze, Kagome saw, understood what he was trying to say. Once, when he’d shown her kindness, though it had all been manipulation on his part, her young girl’s imagination had run away with her, seeing not the man before her, but a fanciful dream, a savior. Then she’d witnessed his brutality, glimpsed the darkness within him and misunderstood, calling him a beast, a monster. She hadn’t understood him then, and was only now beginning to.

He was a demon, an Inugami who thrived on violence. In his single-mindedness, he’d gone after her, made her witness acts of cruelty time and time again. But never had he raised his hand to smite anyone he came across. He didn’t kill needlessly, didn’t drag innocent bystanders into his schemes to corrupt her. Yes, there had been casualties—her village and obaasan. However, even before she’d met him, she’d known, her whole village had known, that the bandits were coming, and yet some had remained—like her and her grandmother. They’d known the dangers of remaining in the village, and they’d ignored it. So really, was it Sesshomaru’s fault that it had been destroyed, that her grandmother had died? No. She’d been unfair to think otherwise.

He was a demon, but not a monster. What was more, he was a man, too.

She’d seen firsthand that he had within him the capacity to show compassion, to regret for the pain he’d caused her, to worry and self-doubt. She’d witnessed it all when they’d shared the bath together at the abandoned manor. And he knew love, felt it—for her.

Staring into his open gaze, she also knew that despite his human-like feelings, he was still an Inugami. She had all but demanded that he change, for her, and he was trying. Kagome could see his struggles. But he would change only so much. He was what he was. A warrior. He dealt in death, even basked in it from time to time, but did that make him evil?

Once, he’d tried to change her, and he had. Because of him, she no longer saw the world through a child’s eyes, forced to see and understand and accept reality.

She’d wanted him to change, expected him to if she were to remain by his side, and he had—to an extent. 

Sesshomaru accepted her as she was. Now it was her turn to accept… or turn away. And that time had come now. There was knowledge in his eyes. He thought she meant to walk away from him, unable to accept him as he was.

There was a few drops of drying blood on his face, over his left cheekbone. Though her stomach rolled with what she was about to do, Kagome knew that words were not enough. To show him that she accepted him, she licked at the blood once, the best she could do.

Sesshomaru exhaled harshly, understanding without words exchanged between them. Opening his eyes, lust took over, and he crashed his lips upon her own, tongues tangled together, his hands releasing her wrists to fill his palms with her lush breasts.

Blood from Sesshomaru’s haori smeared across Kagome’s flat belly, cool and sticky. His hands were similarity coated with blood, now on her naked breasts. She ignored it the best she could. It was easy when she focused on Sesshomaru, on the pleasure his plucking fingers gave her nipples and heated kisses. Her hands were not idle. She yanked open his haori, shoving it off his chest, then the other one until she could touch bare flesh.

In a frenzy to have him, she undulated her hips, grinding against his erection. Tilting her hips for the perfect angle, she moved her sensitive clit against his shaft. Both of them groaned.

Like a demon possessed, Sesshomaru attacked her flesh where her neck met her shoulder with licks and bites that were slightly painful but also pleasurable. But he did not linger. Grabbing her ass in both hands, he lifted her, placing her legs over his shoulders, her legs resting against his back. Tugging on the ties that kept her hakama in place, he yanked them down far enough to reveal her moist folds to his gaze. Though night was upon them, he could see her wet flesh easily.

Reaching under her, between them, he parted her folds and stroked that sweet spot that always drove her wild.

“More!” she panted, moving her hips closer.

Though this position brought worries of falling, Kagome placed her hands below her and against the wall for support, and gazed down at him without even trying to stop him. She knew what was to come and she needed it. Now!

“What do you desire, aijin? Tell me,” he murmured huskily.

Shaking her head sharply, Kagome felt like hitting him for teasing her like this.

“Touch me,” she begged on a hoarse whisper.

“Like this?” His thumb brushed against her cleft. “Perhaps like this?” He pinched her gently.

Kagome cried out, her back arching away from the wall.

“Or did you mean like this?” He leaned forward and suckled her wet lips in his mouth. A shout of pleasure was her only answer.

“A touch can mean many things,” he murmured to her wickedly, before lashing her with his tongue, swirling the tip around the small bud.

Through with teasing her, he attacked her weeping core like a man starved, thrusting his tongue inside her woman’s flesh. Amidst her thrashing and trembling, he held her steady with hands on her hips. When she was on the brink of orgasm, he stopped and pulled back. She shrieked in outrage at that, causing him to chuckle darkly when she yanked at the back of his head to force him back to her. He refused to be moved.

Chuckling again, he leaned towards her, but before she could breathe a sigh of relief, his tongue was at her stomach, not between her thighs like she needed. Entranced, too high on pleasure to find it disgusting, Kagome watched Sesshomaru lick the blood from her stomach until she was clean.

“Sesshomaru, please,” she whimpered, trying again and failing to get his mouth where she wanted him.

“Greedy onna.”

In a swift move that left her breathless, Sesshomaru shrugged her thighs off his shoulders and had her on her feet, but not for long. Yanking her hakama off completely, he ignored her haori, letting it flap around her as he released his shaft from his pants next. He was lifting her again, and this time she wrapped her legs around his waist without being prompted.

Without preamble, he thrust powerfully into her moist depths. Hands on her hips, claws biting into her flesh, he pistoned inside her, not giving her time to adjust to his girth. Her blunt nails scratched his back, small cries and whimpers echoed in his ears as they ignored the death around them and basked in each other’s living flesh.

Using his hold on her, he dragged her down to his cock even as he thrust home, going harder, rougher, taking her with such savagery as he’d never done before.

Kagome whimpered, the jarring thrusts almost painful but oh so sweet.

“Slow down… Sesshomaru,” she panted. “Not so hard.”

Though her words told him to go slower, her sheath wept for him, bathing his cock in her juices. He didn’t slow down, didn’t lessen the impact of his moving hips. Hard and deep, fast and rough. He was beyond being gentle, his need for her too great. 

Already sensitive from his mouth, Kagome didn’t last long—thank god, he thought—and convulsed around him, screaming her release. Already close himself, Sesshomaru buried his face against her shoulder and did something he’d never done before. He bit her, sinking his fangs into her flesh. His hands held her still as he thrust a few more times inside her before ramming home one last time. His grip on her hips kept her immobile as he bathed her inner walls with his seed.

A vicious snarl of conquest erupted around them. The sound capable of terrifying even the bravest of men.


	30. Family Reunion

“So, little brother, we meet again.”

“Sesshomaru! What the hell are you doing here?” snarled Inuyasha, who stepped in front of Kikyo protectively, hand on the hilt of his sword.

Kagome saw that and tightened her hand around her bow, an uneasy feeling growing in the pit of her stomach. That had to be Tetsusaiga, the sword capable of killing one hundred adversaries with a single stroke, the source of the powerful demonic aura she’d felt not so long ago during the battle. What should she do if Inuyasha drew his sword and tried to use its powers against Sesshomaru? She almost smiled ruefully, for the answer was obvious: stay out of Sesshomaru’s way and let him handle things.

It was full dark by the time they’d gone in search of her sister, figuring they’d be finished with their intimate interlude by now. Sesshomaru had doubted that Inuyasha would have stayed the night on the battle field, and monitoring his brother’s aura, he’d been right. When Sesshomaru noticed his half-breed brother was leaving, he’d grabbed Kagome, and they had intercepted them outside the castle’s gates.

“Is that any way to speak to your elder brother, half-breed? It’s been several years since last we’ve met. Show some brotherly love.”

Inuyasha sneered at that, disbelief heavy in his tone. “Since when have we ever been close, you bastard? Don’t mock me!”

Kagome wanted to scream. Kikyo was so close, but these two were keeping her from the reunion she’d been aching for, for what seemed like years. As if Kikyo had heard her aggravated and desperate thoughts, she shoved Inuyasha aside.

“Kikyo?! Get behind me. That’s Sessh—”

Ignoring him, Kikyo moved to stand beside the red clad figure to stare wide eyed at Kagome.

“Kagome?” she whispered, interrupting Inuyasha mid-sentence without care. “Little sister, is that really you..?”

Seeing the heart wrenching sorrow and hope on Kikyo’s face brought Kagome to tears. With a small sob, she ran past Sesshomaru, dropping her brow in her mad dash and flung her arms around Kikyo’s slim form. Burying her face against Kikyo’s shoulder, Kagome cried harder.

“Kikyo! Finally, I’ve found you.”

“What the hell?” Inuyasha muttered, taking a hesitant step away from the embracing and crying women, feeling uncomfortable with such show of emotions. When a woman cried, when _his_ woman cried, it made him feel helpless. Though he couldn’t really see the shorter woman holding Kikyo with her face hidden, he’d gotten a good enough look at her as she ran forward to see an uncanny resemblance to Kikyo. “So… This is Kagome? Your sister is alive?”

Sesshomaru made a rude noise. “Obviously. Must you state the obvious, Inuyasha?”

Back stiffening, Inuyasha growled, nailing his elder brother with an angry, almost hateful stare. “Hey! I was surprised, so—”

“—Enough, Inuyasha,” Kikyo ordered in not an unkind voice.

She was leaning back, her arms still wrapped around Kagome and gazing down at the younger woman will unveiled love. “Let us leave this place and make camp. We’ll discuss everything then. Come, Kagome.”

Even as Kikyo was ushering Kagome away, she shot a narrowed eyed glance at Sesshomaru. She had a lot of questions, and she did not trust the towering, obviously powerful demon near her younger sister. What was more, the few things Inuyasha had told her about his neglectful brother did not put Sesshomaru in high esteem in her eyes.

At her pointed glare, Sesshomaru merely lifted a silver brow before a small smirk appeared on his lips.

“Wait! Kikyo, you can’t really want to make camp with _him_ , can you?” Inuyasha asked quickly, trailing close behind the two women. Then the half-breed Inugami stiffened when his elder brother moved to walk beside him.

“For now,” was all his lover had to say. It was neither a yes nor a no, heavily implying that her choice was not yet made up.

Grumbling to himself, Inuyasha crossed his arms and shot dirty looks at Sesshomaru as they travelled a few miles from the destroyed castle, but if he noticed, Sesshomaru gave no sign. He didn’t even look Inuyasha’s way. That Sesshomaru ignored him brought back painful memories of growing up in the same manor, surrounded by demons who despised and ridiculed him. Sesshomaru hadn’t bothered to notice him then, so why then did it hurt that he was still being ignored?

In the beginning, when he’d been very young, still a pup even in human terms, he’d gone to his elder brother when someone had mocked him for his half-breed heritage. Instead of championing him, defending him, Sesshomaru had told him to ‘get used to it’ and walked away from him.

After a century of life, he’d finally ‘gotten used to it’; however, the pain of rejection was as fierce as ever, never belonging, knowing without a questionable doubt that no one cared. Worse, most wanted him dead, viewing him as a stain in this world, a mistake. Demons and humans alike shunned him. A foot in each world but belonging to neither. Long ago, he realized that fate could be cruel, but when his eyes landed on Kikyo’s back, he’d also come to learn that fate could also be kind.

This human priestess, a being who _should_ hate him did not. In fact, Kikyo loved him, had told him so, shown him, and he believed. She was his one weakness, the only person who mattered to him in this world. Then he shot another glare at his brother, who continued to ignore him. He’d kill the bastard if he tried to harm the woman he loved.

An hour later as they stopped to make camp, Kikyo built a fire after Inuyasha had picked up kindling. Inuyasha would have sat next to her if not for Kagome resting against her shoulder. The two women seemed disinclined to be far from each other’s side. He thought it was endearing as he sat a few feet away, but Sesshomaru wasn’t fooled.

As Sesshomaru sat on the other side of the flickering fire, he noted Kagome’s relief and need to be close to her sister, while Kikyo seemed more protecting than affectionate. Yes, he could see that the elder priestess cared for her sister, even loved her, but the way she continued to regard him let him know without words that she was keeping Kagome close so she could keep his miko away from him.

Seeing the two women finally reunited, the steel behind Kikyo’s eyes renewed his unease. Though Kagome had accepted him, would she be swayed to walk away if commanded by her elder sister? Hiding his emotions, Sesshomaru sat with his spine straight, a bland expression giving nothing away of his inner thoughts. Knowledge was power, and if he gave anything away to this older priestess, he had no doubt that she would use it against him.

He didn’t know this woman, and yet, just by watching her, he knew. Though she had yet to banish him—or try to—from the campsite, he was not fooled. She did not trust him, probably heard some sad tale from his weak, younger brother, and she had to be curious as to why he was travelling with Kagome. Kikyo knew what he was, an Inugami, a being who thrived on mayhem and battle. Though she seemed to accept Inuyasha, that could just be because he had human blood, not a full Inugami. Not like him.

Instead of judging Inuyasha harshly for his diluded blood, Kikyo judged him for being pure, a full blooded demon. He found this amusing and smirked inwardly. _Strange woman._

“Okay, so why is your sister traveling with my bastard of a half-brother?” griped Inuyasha.

“I do not know,” answered Kikyo, her eyes landing on Sesshomaru. “Why don’t you tell me how this came about?”

Kagome stiffened against Kikyo before drawing back to look at her face. She answered even though the question had been poised to Sesshomaru.

“He was helping me!” she said quickly, then offered a small smile, unease making her almost sweat. “He protected me and did everything he could to find you, because I asked him to.”

Kagome was not accustomed to hiding things from Kikyo, but she had a sinking suspicion that Kikyo would condemn Sesshomaru, perhaps even try to kill him if she knew all the facts. Her sister had always viewed the world in black and white with hardly any shades of grey. What was more, even if Kikyo knew all, Kagome wondered if Kikyo would even believe her if she said that Sesshomaru had changed, that he didn’t view everyone as self-serving and corrupt anymore, since he now believed that she was not. 

As Kagome came to understand Sesshomaru better, she had a despondent feeling that Kikyo would not understand. Kikyo didn’t know Sesshomaru, hadn’t seen his ‘humanity’ like Kagome had.

At her words, Kikyo turned her eyes on Kagome, and what she saw was disbelief, a knowledge that Kagome hadn’t spoken the whole truth.

“Keh! Sesshomaru helping a defenseless woman without a hidden agenda? Oh please. An Inugami does nothing for free,” Inuyasha scoffed. “He made you create a contract with him, didn’t he? What was the price for helping you, Kagome?”

Kagome almost breathed a sigh of relief. This was a question she could answer truthfully without incriminating Sesshomaru.

“We never made a contract. He asked for nothing in return to help me find Kikyo.”

It was true, though Sesshomaru had lied about forging a contract between them, they hadn’t really, and, he had offered to help her find her sister without asking for anything in return.

While Inuyasha sputtered in disbelief, Kikyo spoke.

“Perhaps, but that is not the whole of the story. How did you two meet, how did you escape our village’s destruction, and why—” she spoke to Sesshomaru this time. “—are you helping Kagome without wanting anything in return? As Inuyasha said, Inugami do nothing without an ulterior motive.”

Sesshomaru felt like smirking, but easily withheld the amused expression. His tone was almost bored when he spoke.

“The same can be said of you, priestess.” He mocked the term, saw how Kikyo stiffened at the implication before continuing. “A miko has set guidelines to follow. Unfair, undoubtedly, but nonetheless so. How did you meet my brother; when? For how long have you kept your secret trysts hidden? And where were you when your village was destroyed?” He glanced at Inuyasha meaningfully before gazing back into her narrowed eyed stare. “How does it feel to realize while you were in the arms of your lover that your family was put in danger?”

“Sesshomaru!” Kagome gasped, horrified that he would say something so cruel, and to her sister no less! She glared at him, to which he just shrugged in reply, acting unconcerned.  

“Don’t you dare speak to Kikyo like that, bastard!” snarled Inuyasha. “Kikyo’s not the only one breaking a few, stupid rules.” With a contemptuous glance at Kagome, Inuyasha nailed Sesshomaru with a vicious curling of lips, more a baring of fangs than a smile. “I can smell her on you and vice versa,” he said in a low, heated voice.

His implication was clear. He knew that Kagome and Sesshomaru had been intimate.

Kagome blushed scarlet.

Sesshomaru didn’t react at all, save for looking at his brother with bored eyes. “What of it, half-breed? It seems you and I are more alike than either of us may like, considering we are attracted to a similar type of woman.”

Growling, Inuyasha leaned forward and smacked the ground before him with his palms. “She carries your mark! You _bit_ her.”

He flung it like an accusation, as if it were something bad, and Kagome reflexively covered the mark with her palm. It stung a bit, especially when she moved her head, but she hadn’t questioned Sesshomaru’s actions. Now she wondered what it implied.

Kikyo shot her a sideways glance, one Kagome met defiantly. She would not be ashamed for sleeping with Sesshomaru. For once in her life, she’d made a choice for herself, to be selfish, without trying to please everyone else and ignore her wants and desires.

“What does the mark mean, Inuyasha?” Kikyo asked calmly, though her eyes were alight with some kind of strong emotion. Displeasure? Kagome wasn’t sure, but just the thought of Kikyo daring to judge her when she’d done the same thing, angered Kagome.

“What does it matter what it means?” she asked angrily. Then in a lower tone, “Don’t you dare judge me, Kikyo, not when you are with him.” She nodded towards Inuyasha as the ‘him’, and it was Inuyasha’s turn to blush when talking about his sex life.

“I am not judging you, Kagome.”

“Then why are you questioning Sesshomaru’s motives? You don’t see me questioning your actions with Inuyasha.”

“It’s not the same thing—”

“—How is it different?!”

Kikyo couldn’t answer without sounding like a hypocrite, so instead she said, “I worry about you, Kagome. I do not know this…man, so I have no idea if he is treating you right.”

Seeing Kikyo’s genuine concern, Kagome’s anger dwindled, and she reached over to squeeze her sister’s hand reassuringly. “I know, and I feel the same way. I don’t know Inuyasha, either.”

“Yah, but I know Sesshomaru,” interjected Inuyasha grimly, “and he’s not to be trusted. He hates humans, especially anyone with spiritual powers. Actually, he doesn’t seem to like anyone.”

“He doesn’t hate _me_ ,” Kagome denied heatedly, knowing that Sesshomaru’s feelings were the opposite. He loved her, and she wasn’t going to sit idly by while someone, not even his own brother, spoke badly of him.

“What? You think he _loves_ you because he marked you as his?” sneered Inuyasha.

He wasn’t trying to be mean, but he hated his brother, knew him, and thought Kagome was being naïve. Just the thought of Sesshomaru manipulating this girl, Kikyo’s younger sibling, angered him.

“What are you—”

Inuyasha interrupted Kagome. “—That mark on your neck. It’s a sign of possession for many demons. When a male is interested in a woman, he bites them to infuse some of his aura with hers, warding off all other men. If any ignore the warning, the male kills the competition.”

Sesshomaru showed his first sign of emotion since meeting up with Kagome’s sister and lover. He frowned at his brother, displeased with him.

“Do not make it sound like it is a mark given to just anyone, Inuyasha. Only one woman can have a demon’s mark of possession. Until one of us dies or if the claim is revoked will it be void.”

“So… is it a sign that we’re… married in demon law?” asked Kagome slowly, trying to understand this strange and complicated custom.

She wasn’t sure how she felt about that. Not because Sesshomaru took the choice from her, though that was a big issue in and of itself, but because she’d never thought of ever being married. That wasn’t her destiny, or at least she’d never thought it would be. She loved Sesshomaru, but did she want to be married to him? For some reason, she wanted to remain by his side not because some law said she had to because she was his wife and he her husband, but on their own terms. After coming to realize how stifling her calling as a miko was, how many rules she had to follow, she was actually hesitant to be anyone’s wife. A strange thought, but it struck true for her.

Then her worries were dashed at Sesshomaru’s next words.

“No, Kagome. You are not my mate. It takes more than a mark of possession to make us a mated pair. It is merely a sign that you are special to me, my lover and no one else’s, as I am yours.”

“Mate means marriage,” offered Inuyasha helpfully.

“I understood what he meant. I’m not stupid,” Kagome shot back, peeved.

“Keh, whatever.”

Wanting to make a point, even silently, Kagome stood up and left Kikyo’s side by moving around the fire and standing by Sesshomaru. With nothing more than a lifted brow of curiosity, he stood, staring down at her, his head tilted in silent question. Reaching out, she took ahold of his arm and stared at Kikyo proudly, her eyes silently daring her to object.

It was uncommon for Kagome to stand up to her sister’s obvious displeasure, having always done as she was told and expected without question. But Kagome had grown since then, matured. She was a young woman and could make her own choices without needing her elder sister’s approval first

“I’m tired. Can we discuss this in the morning after we’ve slept?”

Without waiting for an answer, Kagome sat down, and Sesshomaru followed. Though Kagome had only planned to sleep next to him, with a respectable space between them, at least trying somewhat to not totally anger her sister, Sesshomaru didn’t seem inclined to follow her example. Instead, he moved behind her. His arm went under her head as a makeshift pillow, the other wrapped around her tiny waist and brought her back up close to his chest. He spooned her from behind, angling her rump into his groin, and curled his knees behind her own, forcing her into the fetal position.

Blushing, Kagome closed her eyes, refusing to look across the fire to see how her sister was taking the situation. Rustling was heard, and she couldn’t help but peek… She watched as Inuyasha picked Kikyo up into his arms and jumped into one of the many trees surrounding them, to settle on a low branch, obviously intending for them to sleep up there. With his back against the tree, Inuyasha settled Kikyo before him, his arms wrapped protectively around her so that she would not fall.

With a small sigh, Kagome nestled closer to Sesshomaru, dreading what tomorrow would bring. She had no doubt that Kikyo wasn’t finished with interrogating Sesshomaru. Almost as if he sensed her mood, Sesshomaru moved her haori aside so that he could kiss the mark he’d given her, and for some reason, she didn’t mind that he’d placed a claim on her without asking her first. It was further proof that he cared about her.

A few minutes later, she fell asleep with the scent of blood and death on her clothes and skin, and on the man behind her. She was definitely going to take a bath first thing in the morning, she decided as she drifted off to sleep. 

Sesshomaru had no intention of falling asleep, not with the possible threat of Inuyasha and Kikyo. The elder priestess didn’t liked him, his brother hated him. Not like he cared, but to keep Kagome safe from harm, he only pretended to sleep, but before he closed his eyes, he caught Inuyasha’s gaze and narrowed his eyes at his younger brother in silent warning. Inuyasha glared back, and sent him a silent message of his own; he wouldn’t be sleeping either.

Sesshomaru closed his eyes. Though Kikyo and Kagome were sisters, while he and Inuyasha were brothers, the differences between the siblings were glaringly obvious to him. And yet, by the mere association of blood, their characters and conducts were always measured and weighed by the people around them.

Kikyo was the obviously better trained priestess and in control of her reiki than Kagome was, which her village had never let Kagome forget, he knew, seen and heard it so first hand.

And because his father sired a half-breed, many now viewed his line as weak, polluted. Holding Kagome close, he didn’t care what others might think. He wasn’t releasing this human woman because some else didn’t approve. No one was getting between him and Kagome—demon or human.


	31. Family Feud

Kikyo sat, staring at the Inugami who’d apparently been travelling with her younger sister for an indefinite amount of time. Sesshomaru was beautiful. Though he had the same silver locks and amber eyes as Inuyasha, the two males couldn’t be more dissimilar. While Inuyasha was brash and hot-headed, jumping into situations without really weighting the consequences of his actions, Sesshomaru seemed detached and unfeeling when he was not being sarcastic and haughty. And those heated looks he’d give Kagome… It angered her to realize that her innocent and naïve sister had succumbed to a handsome devil’s charm—all lies. As if an Inugami— _this_ Inugami—could ever do anything ‘kind’ without an ulterior motive. 

She needed answers. She had to get Kagome away from this demon.

As if he felt her gaze on him, Sesshomaru turned his head and met her stare. When she made a small motion of her head, a silent signal to follow her lead, curiosity blazed in those inhuman eyes, but what really got her hackles raised was the deep amusement she saw as well—and at her expense.

“Kagome,” she called, keeping her voice calm, expression neutral.

Her sister turned to her. Kagome knelt close to the fire. Though it was already morning, the fire blazed so she could dry her long, dark tresses. They had all taken a bath in a lake not too far from camp. Kikyo had brought along her pack and changed into fresh, clean clothes, Inuyasha’s fire rat garments were capable of magically cleaning and mending itself, while Sesshomaru had once again used Jaken to procure both he and Kagome new clothes.

“Yes?” asked Kagome, her fingers stilling in her hair as she had been trying to comb the tangles out.

Smiling reassuringly, Kikyo stood. “There is a specific herb I require. Remain here while I go find it. I shouldn’t be long.”

Kagome’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What herb?” Then she stood. “I’ll help you—”

“I said to stay here,” Kikyo insisted firmly, silencing Kagome easily. “Don’t worry. I won’t go far.”

“At least take someone with you,” Kagome replied, worried despite being told not to.

“Do you doubt my abilities to protect myself?”

At Kikyo’s low utterance, she successfully intimidated Kagome enough to revert back to old habits and demure to Kikyo’s decree.

“No… of course not, but…”

Kikyo wasn’t listening but turned and walked away from camp. She cast a meaningful glance Inuyasha’s way, who nodded in understanding. While Kagome knelt before the fire, only a few minutes had passed before Sesshomaru, too, excused himself, telling Kagome he would search for any signs of danger. Thinking he meant to keep her sister safe, she smiled gratefully at him.

Left alone with Inuyasha, Kagome was instantly uncomfortable with the arrangement, not knowing what to say or do. She didn’t have to. Inuyasha stood from his seated position against a tree trunk and moved to stand beside her. Looking up into golden eyes so much like Sesshomaru’s yet so different, she cocked her head curiously.

“Yes?”

“We need to talk,” he said gruffly, shoving his arms in his long sleeves, and crossed his arms.

Blinking in surprise, Kagome nodded her head once and stood.

 

“So, you have issue when Kagome hides things from you, yet you have no compunction to blatantly lie to her? Isn’t that double standards, miko?” Sesshomaru commented.

Kikyo turned to glare at him. Seeing his dark amusement aimed towards her tested her control on her temper. Rarely was she moved to outwards signs of impatience and ire, but in this monster’s company, she was finding it hard to keep her natural cool and remain unaffected in the face of Sesshomaru’s jibs. That they were true only fueled her anger. He made her seem like a vile person when it was he who was corrupt!

“Do not think to chastise _me_ , demon. Your soul is drenched in evil, past redemption, and I will know why you have set your sight on my sister.”

“Because I love her?” was his airy reply. Sesshomaru’s voice was filled with skepticism and though it was true, he did love Kagome, how he said the words made them sound like a lie, and Kikyo jumped on it like he knew she would.

“Is that what you told Kagome? You won her heart by claiming she had yours?” Kikyo laughed, the sound full of ridicule. “My sister has always been the type to believe in fantasies, but I assure you, my eyes are wide open to your vile intentions.”

“Really now? You think you know me so well, miko?”

“I know demons. I know _your_ kind, Inugami. What’s more, Inuyasha has told me all about you, and I don’t trust you.”

One silver brow lifted at her words. “Trust? It is not your trust I seek. Don’t trust me, hate me, I don’t care even the slightest.” Sesshomaru flicked his wrist, moving his fingers through his hair in an offhand manner. “So what sad tale has my brother told you? That I ignored him? Cared nothing for him? Poor, neglected hanyou.”

Kikyo’s face contorted into fury, her hands balling into fists by her sides at his complete lack of concern for the man she loved—his own brother.

“You should have been there for him, protected him. Inuyasha is your own _flesh and blood_!”

“Technically, only half.”

“He’s your family regardless!”

Sesshomaru cocked his head at her. Nothing was revealed in his expression, not even the insolent smirk she’d been accustomed to seeing curve his lips since meeting him.

“Family. It means a lot to you,” he commented offhandedly.

“Of course,” Kikyo said more calmly, forcing back her flare of emotion. “Kagome means everything to me. I take her safety very seriously, just as you should have cared for your half-brother when he needed you.”

“Kagome’s safety means everything to you, you say?” parroted Sesshomaru, still giving nothing away in his body language or voice. It was as if they were speaking about the weather instead of discussing something so important as family.

“As I have said,” she replied, her voice like steel.

“Really?” he murmured, a gleam entering his amber eyes, though she couldn’t decipher exactly what it was. “Tell me, beloved sister of my lover—” Kikyo stiffened when Sesshomaru verbally admitted to what she’d already surmised on her own, that this beast had seduced Kagome. “—I asked you once before. If Kagome means so much to you, why then did you leave her, knowing the dangers she faced? You knew it was only a matter of time before the bandits came to ransack your village, and yet you left. Were you so in need of my brother’s pitiful cock that you’d forsake your precious family to gain satisfaction?”

Kikyo’s breath caught at his words, just like the last time he’d uttered such hurtful truths. Her heart clenched in such agony that she almost covered her heart, as if that would stop the pain. Ever since she’d returned to her destroyed village, thinking that the last of her family was murdered, she’d blamed herself for exactly the same thing Sesshomaru had accused her of.

She should have stayed with them. There was no way she could have protected them from those vile men, but she could have convinced Kagome and Kaede-obaasan to leave with her to relative safety. Instead, stress and her longing for Inuyasha had consumed her, and she’d left with a lie of farewell and a promise of return—too late.

Still, the way this Inugami spoke seemed wrong, a twisted sort of truth. And yet, she could not exactly refute it, but she was going to try. She could not live with this guilt without it eating her alive.

“You’re wrong,” she whispered.

“Am I?” Sesshomaru asked carelessly, unconcerned that his words had drawn blood. In fact, his dark heart was filled with amusement at Kikyo’s tortured expression, her obvious pain. “You wanted to know how I met your sister, I believe,” he changed tactics.

When Kikyo gave a jerk of a nod, he continued.

“She went to the Inu no Kami’s temple to seek divine intervention, only to be ignored by the kami. Even when a bandit force converged on the temple to beat, rape, and murder her, no one but I answered her prayers.”

Sesshomaru skipped the kiss, the fake contract, everything, and jumped ahead. He was trying to sever the bond between sisters, or at least weaken it. The only way he knew how to keep Kikyo from interfering between himself and Kagome in the future was to make Kikyo believe herself an inadequate protector.

“Do you want to know what happened to your village? While you were busy fucking my brother, your village burned, your friends and family slaughtered like animals. Screams of fear and pain filled the air, the scent of blood and smoke permeating the land. Without me, your precious sister would have died the same gruesome death as all the others. _I_ kept her safe.”

“Why would you—”

“—You claim to be her protector,” he interrupted. “Why then did another—I—have to step in your place to ensure Kagome’s wellbeing?”

“I didn’t know she’d be put in danger!” Kikyo cried. His words hurt unbearably. To save her sanity, she clung to the one thing she knew without a doubt. “Yes, it’s my fault for not being there. If I had been, I would have saved her from a monster like you.” Kikyo put most of the blame on another, on Sesshomaru.

Now he chuckled, a cocky grin slathered across his lips. “If you had been there, she and I would never have met, so I must sincerely thank you for abandoning her.”

“I’m here now,” Kikyo said, her voice hard. “Your presence is no longer necessary.”

“And if I choose to stay?”

“You don’t have a choice in the matter, demon. Kagome is a miko. What life do you really think you can have with her?”

“A similar question could be asked of you, yet here you are, with Inuyasha.”

“Keep him out of this!” she barked. 

“Yet you insist on bringing up Kagome’s demonic lover. You dare find fault in her choice when you made a similar decision first? I now see why you wished to have this discussion outside of your sister’s hearing.” Sesshomaru smirked. “Your words are full of hypocrisy. Careful you do not drown in your own sense of self-righteousness, miko.”  

“Don’t you dare compare yourself to Inuyasha. He’s a better man than you’ll ever be!”

“You presume to know me? You don’t know the first thing about me.”

“I know evil, and there is no doubt that you are,” Kikyo replied almost calmly.

“Then look inside your heart and see the darkness within,” he murmured.

In a move too fast and unexpected, Sesshomaru vanished from her sight. Even as she turned her head sharply from side to side, he appeared behind her. She stiffened with awareness, but if she thought to defend herself, she was far too late to turn and confront him. Lifting his hands to hover a couple inches away from either side of her head, fingers widely spread, Sesshomaru murmured a quick incantation. A flash of white light flared from his hands, and as easily as that, he delved inside Kikyo’s mind and searched her memories. It took but a moment to find what he was looking for, and he dragged them to the forefront of Kikyo’s mind. Helplessly in his thrall, his magic making her immobile, they watched her memories, fragmented and rolled sickening together by Sesshomaru’s manipulation.

The first image was from a few days ago.

Inuyasha held a bandit by the neck and up against a tree. Kikyo stood just behind the half-breed, interrogating the human male on the whereabouts of the bandits’ main stronghold. The fearful scum blabbed easily, and Inuyasha released him. However, to a surprised Inuyasha, Kikyo slipped out her small knife and plunged the blade in the bandit’s neck, easily severing the delicate carotid artery. Though she said not a word, both she and Sesshomaru could read her mind while reliving her memories, feel her emotions. She’d wanted the man dead as an act of retribution.

More memories flashed. Dozens upon dozens of faces arose. Bloodstained and eyes filled with fear. They all died, one after the other. Either by Inuyasha’s blade or her arrows. Men fled while Kikyo shot the cowards from behind. Murder after murder, death after gruesome death. Blood covered everything it seemed, even painted her own flesh. She’d done this, caused the destruction of hundreds.

Leaning down, Sesshomaru murmured into her ear while he forced her to watch her commit these heinous crimes. “Tell me again, miko. Who is the real monster here? You… Or me?”

“Stop!” she shouted.

Kikyo’s reiki surfaced, flaring outward, and struck Sesshomaru in the chest. The blast seared his flesh in second degree burns, but he controlled his backwards motion mid-flight. Summersaulting in the air, he landed gracefully on his feet, not even wincing from the pain of his injuries, though smoke filtered from his singed flesh.  

Kikyo turned to face him with an ugly expression that couldn’t even come close to hiding the haunted quality to her eyes. “I don’t need answers from you,” she muttered heatedly, holding her hands before her like a prayer, both index fingers pointing skyward.

“You’ve already judged me guilty,” Sesshomaru returned, unconcerned when her aura swelled, signaling her intentions to fight him.

“I’m going to purify you.”

“You are welcome to try.”

With a murmured prayer, she flung out one arm, palm facing Sesshomaru, and a blast of power erupted from her hand, aimed at the Inugami.

 

“Sesshomaru’s not who you think he is.”

Kagome stiffened at Inuyasha’s statement. She should have known this was coming, but she’d thought it would have come from Kikyo, not her sister’s lover. She frowned up at the male, none too happy that he thought it alright to butt in on her business, especially considering they were still practically strangers.

“How do you think I see him?” she shot back.

A light flush appeared across his cheeks, and Kagome realized that she’d somehow embarrassed him.

“You know! How women usually view…males they’re interested in,” he all but sputtered, waving his hands about.

“And that would be?” she prompted, refusing to make this easy for him.

Inuyasha growled softly, obviously agitated that this whole discussion wasn’t going as he had original planned. She hardly cared if that was the case.

“You probably think he’s a good guy because he has you wrapped around his finger. You’re in love with an illusion! And don’t deny it.” He pointed a clawed finger at her. “I can see the way you look at him.”

“Because that’s how Kikyo looks at you?”

Inuyasha was silent for long seconds as he stared at her stupidly before blushing all over again. For some reason, this amused Kagome greatly enough to where she laughed lightly.

“What are you laughing at?” he spat defensively. “Just because she’s your sister and a priestess to boot doesn’t mean she can’t love me.”

The way he said ‘me’ made it painfully obvious to Kagome that he referred to his hanyou state. He couldn’t help the way he was born any more than the next person. Just thinking about all the hardships he must have gone through growing up caused her heart to clench in empathy.

Voice softening, she said, “That’s not why I was laughing, Inuyasha. I wasn’t doubting you and Kikyo’s love for each other. I’m not like you.” The last part was said a little harder, accusingly.

“What’s that supposed to mean?!”

“You don’t want me to doubt the love you share with Kikyo, yet you think you have the right to doubt my feelings for Sesshomaru and his for me. You’re trying to turn me against your brother, and I’m supposed to be okay with that? You wouldn’t like it if I tried that with you and Kikyo.”

“No! You misunderstand. That’s not… You don’t know Sesshomaru like I do. I’m trying to _help_ you, dammit!”

“That’s nice of you,” Kagome forced herself to say, “but I don’t need your help. I already know what Sesshomaru is like.”

Inuyasha made a sound of disbelief, pissing her off.

“I do! You have no idea what we went through, what I went through while in your brother’s company.”

“ _Half-_ brother!”

“Whatever! But you don’t know what’s happened, so don’t act like you know everything!”

“That’s not it!”

“It is!”

They were yelling at each other, both angry and not willing to give in an inch to what the other was saying, both thinking and believing the other was wrong.

“You hate Sesshomaru for whatever reason, so you want me and everyone else to hate him, too,” Kagome accused.

“You don’t know anything about how I feel. You weren’t there when my supposed brother ignored me. He acted like I didn’t exist!” Inuyasha had started out gruffly quiet but at the end had resorted to shouting again.

“That’s exactly what I just said,” Kagome insisted, forcing herself to ignore the pain in his voice. Right now wasn’t the time to feel empathy. “I don’t know what you went through just like you don’t know what _I_ went through. Don’t you understand?”  

“It’s you who doesn’t understand. Sesshomaru is a manipulative bastard.”

“I know that!” Kagome shouted this time. Inuyasha wasn’t even listening to her! This whole conversation was making her angry. She was not a naïve, little girl anymore, and she wasn’t going to let him treat her like one. “I think we’re done here,” she said in a hard tone, turning her back on him. “If you refuse to listen and want to treat me like an idiot, then I refuse to continue this farce of a discussion.”

“Where are you going?” Inuyasha clamped a hand on her elbow when she started to walk away, halting her.

She refused to turn to look at him. Her tone was level when she demanded, “Let go of me.”  

“Not until you listen to me.”

Now she shot a glare at him, to which he flinched from, but he still didn’t release her. “Like you refuse to listen to me? I don’t think so. It takes two open-minded people for this discussion, and you refuse to hear me out, so why should I continue listening to you?” Her glare lowered to his hand on her arm. “Now let go. I mean it.”

“I can’t let you do that,” he whispered. “Kikyo said to—” Inuyasha broke off, blinking, before a look of guilt filled his expression.

Kagome’s eyes widened. “Kikyo?” Connections slowly made themselves known to her as she thought more on the situation. “She left to get herbs… then Sesshomaru went off…” Her surprise quickly melted into anger once more, and she glared daggers at Inuyasha. “She set you up to this, didn’t she? Kikyo wanted to keep me preoccupied, for you to sway me against Sesshomaru while she…” _tried to purify Sesshomaru,_ she finished silently in horror.

“Don’t make it sound like that,” Inuyasha said quickly. “Kikyo is only trying to protect you. We’re not your enemy.”

“And Sesshomaru is?” she growled.

“Of course,” he replied, as if the answer was obvious.

Needing to get to Sesshomaru, Kagome grabbed onto Inuyasha’s wrist. With a flare of her aura, pink flashes of electricity snaked up his arm and around the rest of his body. With a howl of surprise and pain, he released her, stumbling back as her purification powers burned along his nerve endings. To keep him in place so that he couldn’t follow after her, she clapped her hands together with a smack. Power bubbled around her, and she easily erected a barrier around the hanyou.

“What the…hell..?” Inuyasha muttered through gritted teeth.

He charged the barrier. Pulling his arm back, he punched it, only to be flung back with a flash of pink sparks. Shouting in pain, he landed heavily upon the ground while Kagome stood stunned, gazing at what she had done. Looking from the barrier she’d made to her palms she held up close to her face, it took her a few seconds to come to grips with the situation. Though she knew the spells, hand motions, and every other technical knowhow to use her reiki to its full potential, until now, she’d always failed.

But what had changed? Why was she just now capable of tapping into her reiki upon command? She didn’t know, and right now, she had more important matters to think about. Turning her back on Inuyasha, who yelled at her to come back and free him, she ran towards the flare of spiritual powers—Kikyo.

Was she already too late?

_Sesshomaru!_


	32. Hope Springs Eternal

Kikyo’s blast came right for him. Sesshomaru stood stoic still, waiting. At the last possible second, he stepped to the side in a move too fast for human eyes to see. Though her spiritual attack missed him by inches, he still felt the burn of her reiki. The pain was minor, but he knew a low-level demon would have been purified on the spot by such proximity to such power. Kikyo was strong, perhaps one of the most powerful priestesses who’d dared challenge him. Still, he was far from concerned with his safety, for he knew that he was stronger, faster.

Their eyes locked. Instead of being angry that her attack had missed, he saw determination in her gaze.

“Impressive,” he commented, though his tone couldn’t have been more bored if he’d tried. “However, you missed.”

His taunt had the desired reaction. Anger. The glare she shot him caused him to chuckle lightly in amusement, which only seemed to piss her off more.

“You will not be laughing when I purify your dark soul,” she shouted at him.

Instead of wasting her strength, Kikyo grabbed her bow from her shoulder and notched an arrow in record time, her skill obvious even to his eyes. Without seeming to aim, she fired her charged projection right for his heart. The arrow came at him fast, but he was quicker still. Again, he dodged, letting it fly past just inches from him. His actions were meant as another sort of taunt, proclaiming without words that she was too slow—weaker than he.

It seemed to work. The already emotional miko fired another arrow.

This time, he effortlessly caught it between his middle and forefinger. With a flash of green light, his acid gas easily overpowered her pure light, dissolving the arrow into nothing. While she displayed great power, he used barely a hint of his own, easily showing her that she was no match for one such as he.

He lifted one silver brow tauntingly and watched her anger morph once again into determination. Arrow after arrow sailed past him, this time lower, much lower, as if she thought to take out his legs and make him weak and powerless to dodge her attacks. She missed every time. Sesshomaru didn’t even break a sweat, barely moved from side to side to escape her projections. With the last one he didn’t even have to dodge, for it landed short of its mark, embedding into the ground at his feet. Finally, she lowered her long bow. In defeat? In awe of his awesome powers?

“Tired already? Perhaps you should admit defeat—”

The end of her bow smacking into the dirt interrupted his taunting, and an electrical surge of power snaked towards him. He tensed, ready to jump into the air when he noticed her free hand was held before her. With just one word of command, he sensed power around him. His eyes widened in understanding—too late. She’d missed him on purpose! He didn’t have to look around him to know that his conceit had lead him into a trap. The arrows formed a circle around him, erecting a barrier to keep him in place, unable to dodge the attack she sent towards him.

Drawing his sword just as the blast from her bow struck him, he caught the electric currents against his demonic blade. However, it wasn’t enough to save him from her attack. As the blast hit her barrier, the arrows flared around him. The very ground he stood upon ignited like a bomb. With a vicious snarl of anger and pain, the sphere that held him captive was filled with spiritual light, and it tried to consume him.

His nerves flared, his flesh began to burn as her reiki sought to purify his whole being at once. Fury filled him at her audacity, and Sesshomaru flared his demonic aura. He held nothing back, unleashing his energy around him. An even louder _bang_ echoed around the clearing they stood in. Kikyo’s powers were no match for a demon of his caliber, and the magic surrounding him shattered. Shock waves went outwards, hitting everything in its path.

Kikyo was hit squarely in the chest and flung backwards. Leaves in the trees and bushes rustled and were dislodged, falling to the ground around the fallen priestess.

Sesshomaru was on her in a heartbeat. Sword ignored in his right hand, he snagged the dazed woman by her throat and picked her up roughly, uncaring that he choked her as he pushed her back painfully against a tree. He held her up at his eye level, knew his gaze was seeped in crimson, on the verge of changing into his demonic form—a great, white dog much bigger than the one he’d changed into in Kagome’s company so long ago.

Fangs lengthened, he snarled in Kikyo’s face. And for an instant, fear widened her eyes. He squeezed, cutting off air to her lungs and watched her squirm. Tiny hands held the wrist that strangled her. Reiki erupted, burning him, pink lightning flaring around her hands and up his arm. Soon, his whole body was wracked with holy energy, but that only pissed him off more. Second degree burns covered his body in patches, but with a flare of his aura, Sesshomaru fought against it.

Kikyo was strong, he’d give her that, but she didn’t even compare to his strength.

“You think you can purify _me_ so easily?” he seethed, tightening his hold on her neck.

Pink and green energy clashed. Sparks flared. At first, the light held its own against the darkness, but like a candle, the shadows snuffed out the flame. With only his energy around them, Sesshomaru allowed the onna to breathe, but he did not release his hold on her neck even as she coughed roughly, relearning how to breathe.

“I should kill you for your impudence,” he gritted out.

Kikyo didn’t answer him. Her jaw was clenched tightly as her body convulsed. Sesshomaru was giving her a taste of what she’d unleashed upon him in her circle of arrows. Now it was _her_ nerves that screamed in agony, not his.

“How does it feel to be helpless, to feel your very flesh writhing in torment? How many demons have you purified? How many times did you watch without care that your powers burned them into oblivion?”

Kikyo glared hatefully at him, but said not a word. She refused even to scream her pain, though he gave her vocal cords back to her when he ceased crushing her neck in his hand.

“Do you really think you’re without fault?” he demanded loudly, his voice more animalistic than man. “Do you think your powers make you better than everyone else? _Answer me,_ _priestess_.”

She did not, but then, she didn’t have to. He could see the answer in her eyes, her self-righteousness.

“Sesshomaru! Please don’t do this!”

Kagome’s shout surprised him. He’d been so focused on the woman in his grasp and his own anger to sense Kagome’s approach. All at once, his youki subsided, and Kikyo stopped her twitching only to collapse in his hold, her body lifeless though she yet breathed. She was still conscious, too.

He released her all at once, letting her drop in a heap on the ground, before stepping back. He watched dispassionately as his lover ran to her sister and dropped down to hold Kikyo to her breast. She wasn’t looking at him, her whole focus on the woman who had sought his destruction. He turned away from the sight and began walking away. His mind was a whirlwind of chaos. At first, he thought he’d screwed up again. He’d harmed Kagome’s sister. Surely she would finally turn away from him, to never wish to see him again. Then anger set in. How dare she condemn him for protecting himself? He was not at fault for this altercation!

Put up with it all, Sesshomaru finally had enough with _her_.

“Sesshomaru, wait! Where are you going?”

Unwillingly, his steps stopped and he turned to glance at her over his shoulder.

“I’m done,” he answered without inflection, hiding his feelings deep inside, the pain, the anger—everything.

“W-what do you mean..?”

“Kago— Miko…” He could not say her name. Not now. Perhaps not ever.

Her eyes widened as if she read more than he gave. She moved as if to run after him, but Kikyo restrained her with a hand on her arm.

“Don’t go to him, Kagome. He’s a beast. See what he has done to me, your own flesh and blood?” Kikyo’s voice was a hoarse whisper from being strangled, but it was filled with steel. Hate flashed in the gaze she shot Sesshomaru, and he stiffened. Not because he cared what this particular miko thought of him, but at the knowledge that Kagome was forever lost to him, because he had had enough.

Before he could continue on his way, Kagome’s response to her sister’s words kept him rooted in place.

Kagome glared at her sister. “And what of the damage you’ve done to him?”

“Kagome…” Kikyo said in surprise, eyes wide that her sister would not defend her.

“Do you think I’m stupid? I _know_ you lied to me back at camp. You wanted to get Sesshomaru alone and kill him despite me telling you how we felt about each other! You even tried to have Inuyasha keep me out of the way.”   

“No… You don’t understand. Sesshomaru… He’s a monster—”

“—That’s enough!” Kagome shouted and jerked her arm free.

She stood and walked determinedly towards Sesshomaru, who had turned to watch her silently. She hooked her arm through his and gripped his bicep with the other. Kagome didn’t look up at him, too busy glaring at her sister. Kikyo stood slowly in obvious pain as she used the trunk behind her to remain on her feet.

“Kagome, what are you… You can’t really be choosing this demon over me!”

“There shouldn’t have to be a choice! I love both of you, don’t you see that, Kikyo?”

Kikyo sneered. “He has you enthralled. You don’t understand—”

“No, you don’t understand!” Kagome interrupted loudly. “How could you do this? How could you betray me?”

Kikyo stiffened. “I have never betrayed you, Kagome. Not once. Not ever.”

“What is lying if not betrayal? You think I don’t know who and what Sesshomaru is? I know him better than you and Inuyasha combined! He’s lied to me, hurt me so many times, but we’ve finally come to an understanding.”

“Kagome—”

“I’m not finished!” Kagome screamed, sick and tired of being interrupted, of being _ignored_. “You don’t know what we’ve been through. You don’t know _anything_ , and instead of talking to me and trying to understand, you go behind my back and try to kill the man I love. For all the turmoil Sesshomaru has put me through, what you’ve done hurts so much more.”

Sesshomaru remained quiet under the sisters’ ‘conversation’. With the mood Kagome was in, he did not want her ire aimed in his direction, not when she was defending _him_ , apparently choosing _him_ over the last of her family. It surprised him that she would, gave him hope, and the tightness in his chest over the thought of never seeing her again eased.

Lacing his fingers with hers, he bent his arm and held her arm against him, silently conveying his gratitude. In answer to his gentle gesture, Kagome looked up at him and smiled at him for the first time since interrupting his fight with Kikyo. He couldn’t help but offer her a small smile in return. He was a love besotted fool. It should sicken him, especially with another witnessing their affection, but it did not. Right now, all that mattered to him was that Kagome was here, beside him.

“Kagome, please,” Kikyo implored, taking a small step forward. “He’s lying to you. An Inugami can’t love. Not him.”

Kagome turned a hard stare on her sister. Seeing the pain on Kikyo’s face made her heart clench, but what really caused her pain was the fact that Kikyo would not listen to her. Perhaps she never would. Upon realizing this, devastation filled her heart.

More quietly, she answered. “Though human blood runs in his veins, Inuyasha is also an Inugami, and yet you love him.” Then she smiled a small, sad smile. “I think I now understand why you lied to us, why you left our village to be with him. Love makes you do crazy things. I don’t blame you anymore for abandoning us. I know you didn’t mean for the bandits to attack while you were gone. I can even forgive you for trying to kill Sesshomaru, but I can’t stay with you, not when you can’t trust me to make my own decisions. I’m not a little girl anymore.”

Kikyo stumbled forward, hand outstretched beseechingly. “Don’t leave. Please, don’t go with him.”

“When you can finally accept that we love each other, when you can finally see who we are and not what you think you see, I’ll be back. And we can be a family again.” Though her voice didn’t waver, tears fell from Kagome’s eyes. She looked up at Sesshomaru, who stared right back at her. “Can we leave now?”

“As you wish, aijin.”

Releasing her hand, he wrapped his arm around her and clouds swelled under their feet, lifting them into the air. Kikyo ran towards them, stumbling, still weak from Sesshomaru’s attacks. “No, Kagome! Come back! I thought I lost you once. I can’t lose you again! How can you abandon your family like this?”

Kagome wrapped her arm decisively around Sesshomaru’s hips and rested her head on his chest as she stared at her sister.

“You have it backwards, Kikyo, for you have abandoned me.” _Let’s go, Sesshomaru._

_Hold onto me, Kagome._

_Always._

With misunderstandings between them, Kagome couldn’t help but feel like her heart had been ripped out of her chest, but her resolve did not waver. She’d been down a long, hard road with Sesshomaru, and though neither of them were perfect, she could not imagine living her life without him. Kikyo had forced her hand, forced her to make a difficult decision, but she did not regret it. The only thing she regretted was that she had not been able to convince Kikyo that Sesshomaru was the only man for her, but perhaps in the future…

Looking into the late morning sun, seeing the beauty of the land beneath them, Kagome had hope. Though Kikyo couldn’t hear her, she murmured into the wind, “We will meet again.” 

“Goodbye doesn’t always mean forever, aijin,” Sesshomaru said in an attempt to console her.

She hugged him. “I’m counting on it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch the Sequel to 'Bound by Corruption' in 'Soothed by Corruption'!


End file.
